All my life I’ve been told that I wasn’t going to make it. Like “you just an Alexandra boy. Have you ever seen a successful Alexandra boy?”. Lol, Wow! The negativity, written off and marginalized before I even start. Of course I’ve always shunned off the statements and stayed defiant, choosing to take one step at a time. With humility, my head down I have always risen above the hate and negativity. I am not stupid, I know I am slightly disadvantaged but I am not a victim, I’ve never been one. My gameplan has always been to do more than required and with time my efforts have compounded. Going the extra mile is something that is now automatic and it has made me distinguished. I raise my head and I find myself in different circles. I am the only person who looks Iike I do. It’s crazy, I did it, my head is above the water, I made it. I still meet black people with a house niggas mentality, the Steven’s on “Django Unchained” and they assassinate my character in attempts to get me to react but it’s all so funny to me because by probing they have confirmed I am “Bright boy” the exceptional nigga. I never thought I’d see the day my leather jacket became the scapegoat. They are scared of me, no words can put me down. They can’t control me, they can’t manipulate me, they try to cut me out but it’s a bigger picture and they can’t photoshop me out. The little township boy is in their face and is not going anywhere, instead his accruing power, moving from class to class, creating relationships, dominating the court, I can fit in anywhere, I am a social butterfly, they can’t do anything to me because I am playing the game! Now to diss me is to reflect their hypocrisy and ignorance. The little township boy keeps on rising.
Little township boy, don’t let them tell you, you can’t do it. It’s all in your head, you can accomplish anything you want. Anything you want in the world is yours! You can get it, believe in yourself, stay with the process and care enough. When you rise up, they will try to bring you down. Keep moving.
P.S. It was Reginah who said I would never make it, she cited the fact that I was from Alexandra and wore a leather jacket as the reasons. She did everything to break my spirit but she couldn’t. Cognitive dissonance on her part because she knew I’d already made it but acknowledging it was difficult. No biggie, I appreciate the negative energy to feed on.
FC Barcelona is more than just a club, it’s a way of life. It’s serious, philosophical, it teaches one how to live, it is life itself. There’s principles, philosophies and values we adhere to. We prize commitment and development above everything else. We work hard with humility. FC Barcelona represents a whole nation of people. FC Barcelona play for the freedom of the Catalan people. It’s about pride and dignity. It’s about playing beautiful football, we never play ugly that would defy the core of our identity. At Barcelona we’d rather lose and get relegated than play unappealing football. To be apart of Barca is to be a winner, unashamedly so too! We have structures in place, we are governed by a culture that reinforces that winning mentality. We are the best team in the world. At Barca we incubate talent and prize human relationships above all. We plan for the long haul, we make sacrifices to be the best. At Barca, we are consistent, we are relentless, we provide a blueprint on how to play the beautiful game. Joan Laporta is more of my president than Cyril Ramaphosa because unlike Cyril, he cares. At Barca we follow the principles and blueprints outlined by Johan Cruyff, we love him, he is our Godfather. We revere Pep Guardiola, Luis Enrique & Frank Rijkaard. At Barca we worship Lionel Messi, the greatest soccer player in the history of the game. We created him at our farmhouse but the rest of the world call it La Masia. In addition to creating the greatest football player ever, we produced Spain’s most decorated player Andres Iniesta, the greatest midfield player Spain has ever seen Xavi Hernandes and the greatest pivot of all time Sergio Busquets. The trio are considered to be the greatest midfield trio in football period! We also produced Puyol, Pique, Cesc Fabregas, Victor Valdes, Pedro Rodrigues and countless other superstars. We were able to do this because we see the bigger picture. We still doing it today with Balde, Gavi, Pedri and Ansu Fati. We will continue doing so because we have vision, we see into the future. We hone talents, create an environment that is optimal for our talents and ensure that they are happy with the confines of our systems. At Barca, discipline and effort is paramount, you play for the badge, you sacrifice yourself for the team, you die for the team. At Barca, there are no egos, you keep your head down, stick to the task at hand, do your job and celebrate the teams goals regardless of whether you are in the starting 11 or the sidelines. Failure to celebrate the teams goals will lead to a transfer away from Barca, this is non-negotiable, we celebrate together, we are a unit. There are no superstars at Barca, this is not the Galaticos of Real Madrid, everyone is equal under the scrutinizing eye of the badge. At Barca we are professional, humility reigns, no coming with your Ferrari to practice Ibrahimovic! Barca is more than a club, it’s a way of life. Dedication, commitment, hard work, sacrifice, humility and winning are at the core of our DNA.
“Disrespectful, arrogant, weed, Alexandra, leather jacket! The audacity! Who do you think you are? You are so forward”. Thank you so much for your projections and stereotypes. Funny how I am reduced to a few words, an attempt to marginalize and control me. I’ve reached the ceiling and breaking out is the next step but to keep me grounded is the plan. I have become too big for my shoes and the plan is to keep me barefoot. Cause if I realize my worth and get new shoes it exposes their raggedy shoes. “Stop being so brilliant, you exposing us! Keep it down, slow down, dim down the shine, fly lower, don’t forget where you come from, Little Alexandra kid”.
Arrogant, weed, Alexandra, Leather Jacket, you are nothing without me, I made you! Made who? The entitlement! If you made me, make another me. Move out of my way, you are a hindrance. Stop searching for relevance you are a fossil. The leather jacket is a staple of who I am. I smoke chronic and I live in Gomora. I am arrogant because I know my worth and you need audacity to be successful. Disrespectful? Only when it suits you? Being older doesn’t hand you privileges. Respect is a two-way street. Why should I respect you when you don’t respect me? You marginalize me to keep me beta. Stick holes through my confidence with knife edged words to affect my frame and string me along like it’s a game. But you are so lame. I’ve met people like you and you all the same. Plagued by insecurities and the need to always be on top. Penis envy has you contemplating penetration but it’s the womb that starts a nation. You hate me and my leather jacket because I have a dick! You are blocking the path, get out of my way, you are slowing me down! Success and fortune is ahead, I’ll never stop until I am ahead cause I’m disrespectful, arrogant, smoke weed, from Alexandra, forward cause I am the future and wear a black leather jacket like a character from ‘The Sopranos’. Screw you, your words don’t affect me. I am going to do and be everything I want and nothing is going to stop me. I am the best, I am the greatest. If you insist on being an obstacle then I’ll make you the way, I’ll smash right through you. You try to break me down because you are intimidated by me. You assign labels because it gives you a grip. You are frightened by me and my leather jacket. In the end the little kid from Alexandra will have it all.
After “Dress Code” things went downsouth for me. It was the girls who kept me relevant for a month, they loved me. They made it hard for Daphne to get rid of me. They would always shower me with gifts, kisses and hugs. Honestly it was like heaven, I felt like I was floating walking on clouds, I was all soft inside, I was intoxicated by them, I was in awe of their talent, I loved them. I did everything above and beyond to please them, I treated them like royalty, like the stars they were, with reverence and awe. I executed every request with efficiency and care. The stage was spotless before the show and the mirrors reflected like diamonds. Cliff’s (Piano guy) water was iced and always on time and on queue before the show. I was professional, courteous, smelled good and dressed with real personality. I was the eye of God who kept watch over everything and addressed every significant or insignificant thing that had the power to affect the tone of the show. It was all about excellence. They were very happy with me. The girls flooded Daphne’s email with compliments about me, she was elated and she opened her purse for me. I accepted but it was never about the money. Quite clearly it was the girls who kept me in the theatre for that long, the staff at the theatre only needed someone to assist for 2-3 day’s tops. “Move in” day can be tough and time consuming as you welcome a new act to the theatre, sets need to be on the stage and it requires planning and thinking. There’s also the issue of the sound and lights, they need to be programmed to the system. Without the sound and lights, you don’t have a show. It’s just a casual job and the guys who help out do their two days and it’s done. A lot of the times the theatre uses young students who are keen to learn about theatre to help out. It’s a win for both sides, the student learns and gets practical and the theatre don’t have to pay for labor. That considered, I stayed for a month! I was also the usher for the girls show and generally everybody liked me and that’s the problem, I was magnetic, likeable and had a ton of charisma, illuminating the place and setting the mood for the show – I was too perfect. Inevitably envy and jealousy sets in and I became a target. Human nature and narcissistic tendencies, I refrained from responding and reacting, I observed like a bystander and was amused by the human condition. I knew what caused the hysteria, mainly that I was too amazing and I couldn’t help myself. I had no flaw, I came early for work, had a lot of enthusiasm, executed every task with perfection and everybody loved me. Around the 3rd week Daphne called me to her office and took my particulars. She asked what I was good at, education, skills and talents and so I shared. We talked for a while and she said she wished she had something for me. Her roster was full. I acknowledged but I was just there for the love. After that meeting I definitely felt the room getting smaller, it was like she was pushing me out but life went on and I got more responsibilities. On the last day of “The Dress Code” as we were clearing the stage, I asked the director “Alan Swerdlow” for the script, I wanted it for it’s format, structure and I was really in love with the writing, it was witty, urban and well written. I also wanted to learn the skill of writing scripts for theatre. Alan liked my energy and appreciated everything I did for the girls, he gave it to me. After knockoff, Reginah from her car saw me from afar with the script and asked “Are you holding a script?”. I walked to her vehicle and replied “Yes”. She continued “You are not supposed to have that”, to which I replied “The director gave me the script”. She replied “No, you are not supposed to!”, I countered “But I want it”, I had the script in my hands. She started having a narcissistic fit and threw tantrums wanting to get out of the car. I watched her attempts to bully me off the script and I walked away from the scene with the script in hand. I left her shouting alone, she was wasting my time. It’s my fault, I encouraged her behavior hoping it would dissipate but she only got more controlling and overbearing, it was time for a receipt. As I was walking away, she shouted “Don’t come back on Tuesday”. It was the same Reginah who took 33% of my pay. She didn’t ask, she just took it in a power move. After “The Dress Code” Move In, Daphne delegated the task of paying me to her. She called me into a room, reached into her pocket and took out R300, gave me R200 and took the R100 stating that she needed it more and that she’d pay me back, she never did. I always resented that action, it was like she was entitled to my pay. I deserved the full R300! She didn’t ask me, if she had I would have given it to her, she took all the power away from me and took it! I judged her character that day and a receipt was definitely on the cards – she was going to respect me!
I defied her and came back on Tuesday. There was no way I was missing “Vincent’s” Move In. I wanted to help with the production, I had been anticipating it for quite some time and luckily, I still had Daphne, she was reasonable, she’d see things my way. When I got to the theatre Reginah isolated me from the team and instructed me to wait for Daphne so we can discuss this script issue. In an act of power, she brought in a student to take my place. Gaslighting, she was downplaying my importance to the theatre, communicating that I was inferior and disposable. I saw that for what it was – insecurity. Everybody loved me and it was warranted, I was a hard worker. I wasn’t concerned, I was fine with any outcome, I stood by my decision to walk away with the script that night, I simply wanted it more, if not for the content then the hopeful connections it had the power to grant me. Daphne came in and we discussed the case. Reginah presented her inaccurate version, filled with slander and smear campaigns in attempts to get me to react. It was just pure lies concocted by her imagination. She was vicious, disagreeable and incoherent, a blind man could see that she was attacking me. She wanted to control me so much that she lost control. I was calm. I presented my case and took responsibility for taking the script and as anticipated, Daphne understood. I went back to the team and helped with the production of “Vincent”, flirting with my female student replacement in the process. In no time my replacement was hooked and mesmerized by my aura. She too was on my side. This was definitely not in Reginah’s plans. I survived but hostilities were brewing. “Vincent” was a success and my replacement stopped coming to the theatre so I reigned. I understand human nature and I realize I was a missed hit, I know a target is still on my back, so I decided to leave on my own terms before things spiraled out of control, I’ll be back later, when things are calmer, when I am in control.
I came back 3 weeks later and everybody welcomed me back with open arms, the script issue was all in the past, they were just so happy to see me. It was the girls who kept me relevant for a month, they loved me and I love them forever.
Award winning actor Shannon Esra plays a character who is a one-breasted, menopausal, Jewish, bisexual lesbian mother. The play is a woman’s humorous and moving encounter with relationships, parenthood, cancer and her ever-changing self. Unbelievable performer! She is pretty great! Captivating, entertaining, a real master of her craft. Quite clearly she has mastered the art of storytelling. She is lively, animated, expressive, has heart, and made use of the stage to perfection. It didn’t matter that the set was minimal, it was all about her, her story, her experiences, the lighting captured that beautifully, wonderful direction. Difficult story to tell, cancer, but she made it her own, she is convincing, it was her story. She is entertaining, she gives her all to the stage. I loved everything about the show, it is well-written, it has cadence – it flowed, very personal and subjective and that made it powerful. It is the best one woman show I’ve have ever experienced! It was the first time I’ve seen Shannon on the stage and I am a big fan. Simply, I loved her, so magnetic, she has charisma, she drew in the crowd, she had them in the palm of her hand, she commanded everything about that experience even after that slight turbulence; heckler alert, so you bought a ticket to be a thorn in the performers act, a wonderful job you have. Somebody get this spotlight stealer out the auditorium! Shannon remained calm and professional, it didn’t affect her swagger and frame, she pushed on fiercely and continued with the play!! A real master at play!!! I loved her!!! I loved the play, the subject matter, the lighting, how intimate it was the direction and most importantly her performance! She is the best! Well done to the whole team and a deserved standing ovation.
J. Cole apologized for a reason, you don’t want beef with Kendrick Lamar, he is brutal, real life not AI and he will end you. Step to the side brother Jermaine, you are exempted from this slaughterhouse, be a fan like the rest of us and enjoy this from the comfort of your house. To the Rap Gods, we thank you for this gift, bars on bars we are appreciative of this gift. Kendrick, his a menace, he just caused a shift, hip-hop was on snooze, the game needed a lift. So much much for the Taylor shots, Drake was too swift. Damn! We said Kendrick needed a Hit em up kinda response and he topped that with that response. No pun intended, he PGLang now and there was nothing PG about that response. The runtime is six minutes, the beat changes 3 times. He starts off calm and mellow, beat soulful and voice low, then the beat changes and intensifies, you thought he was zen but hell no, the grim reaper is about to take souls. I get the feeling he hates Drake, something about his mannerisms, how he dresses, how he walks and how he sneak dissing on his songs. Kendrick asks an important question, namely is he battling AI or ghosts. I don’t think he was too impressed with Drake imitating a ghost. He went out of his way to be a visitor when he was the host. The type of things that will be exposed by a goat. I am ashamed to have conceded that Drake has my vote. Kendrick ripped him apart, called his use of the “n-word” cringeworthy and disbarred him from ever using the “n-word”. He revisited the Pusha T beef that Drake had to take the L in and covered how he hates women. He further assassinated his character and destroyed his reputation. He communicated he likes back-to-back and he’ll come back to that. I don’t think his done, his about to go back-to-back. Somebody should stop him, it’s a bloodbath, he killed him, it’s done. On a random Tuesday for that matter, Lord have mercy. Drizzy could respond but he has been rebuked, AI won’t do it, he needs an atomic bomb, something like Hiroshima to burn this bitch to a crisp. I don’t he has that, he’ll bite his lips and get a lisp. Kendrick will bury him and all his ghostwriters on the list. There we go again, me judging based on a singular angle rather waiting to see the broader picture. Good luck “Drizzy” Drake. Hip-hop is great again and I am feeling euphoric. Kendrick Lamar is a blessing for the culture – such euphoria.
Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns on my socials for years and there’s still some confusion about my position in the mortality spectrum. I do whatever to win! I thought my position was clear when I stated that ‘I am on a heel turn’. I despise purity because it’s pretentious, disguised and filthy. It’s the pure ones that do all the manipulating, they have learned to camouflage themselves with the consensus of the majority while aligning themselves with virtues that seem righteous but are two-faced like a coin and leave much to the imagination. Hypocrites, they hide under the morality that plagues their existence. They are fakes, they smile in my face and start smear campaigns when my back is turned. I like the bad guys more, there’s no pretensions, anything can happen, things are out in the open and your life is in danger. There’s no mirrors, smokescreens and theatricalies, no need for passive aggressive antics, just the consciousness that if you get out of line, I am going to whack you. I don’t like the pure ones because they secretly yearn for power, it’s in their actions, their demeanor, the disguised sly commentary, passive aggressive behavior, the perceived innocence white as snow, the victim mentality and their righteous indignation. Meek is dangerous ask Gandi and the English. How can you trust an individual who has blood more pure than Christ? I wish human beings were good, saintly, creatures who lived on love and farted butterflies. But it’s not like that isn’t it? A dark side exists and people want what you have, violence and if you’re stubborn death is a means for reposition. How can someone be truly whole when they don’t acknowledge their dark side? To claim you are white as snow is to refute you’re black as death. Arrogance, do you think that you are a better human being than me? White privilege can’t save your soul. I don’t like the pure ones, they make me uncomfortable, everything is a show and their smiles are fake. Face drips off schadenfreude through their pores every time I have a bad day. Nah, I don’t like the pure ones, I prefer drunkards, wife-beaters, criminals and prostitutes, at least they are real, they don’t try to be what they are not, they are flawed, vulnerable, confused, human and roaming about a maze they didn’t create and attempting to survive. Psychopaths exist but they are a product of this maze so they have my compassion and understanding. All of life has my compassion and understanding. Existence is difficult, no one has the answers and we all are going to die. Why would you want to be Jesus Christ? Did you forget his best friend was Mary Magdalene? I’d rather call Saul.
What is good? What is bad? Cause when Walter White started cooking crystals to secure his family’s future I was with him. Life is not fair and sometimes it makes no sense at all. I mean what is the alternative? He has cancer and can’t afford to pay for Chemo because he works in a profession that doesn’t pay much. He is overqualified and his teaching job isn’t maximizing his talents. He has kids and has been diagnosed to live for a couple of months. Even if he reached into the family’s savings to pay for the Chemo, its not guaranteed that he’ll survive, cause what if he pays the 300K for the treatment and perishes anyways. What then? What about the kids? What about their futures? What about the house? The unsurmountable debt? No college fund, what about the kids dreams? No insurance, what about that safety net? Is that the legacy you want to leave for your family? Are you really going to leave behind your kids hungry, scrambling for survival, living off bread crumbs? What about your honor as a man? What about your pride? What is your use? You lived your whole life as an honest man, working to secure your family’s future and now cancer is wiping off your whole existence. Maybe you know of people who can pay off the treatment but is that a way to live? Being a charity case for people who screwed you over? People who built their empire on what you started and claimed it for themselves. It’s guilt money, a bribe, they are paying you off! Of course that’s not how they will present it because human beings are sophisticated creatures and theatricality is the order of the day. Maybe they do care and genuinely want you to beat the cancer but deep down you’ll know. You’ll feel the bondage and entitlement. Sure they stole your work to get to the top but they also saved your life, let’s face it, you owe them. How is that fair? You screw me over and still manage to get the last laugh. Nah fuck em! If I can do something to alter destiny then I will, even if it means cooking crystals. I am already on borrowed time, I am knowledgeable, I might as well go all out. This way at least I have a chance, I can procure the funds for the Chemo treatment, I can secure my family’s future, I can be useful, I can be a man, I can be proud of myself. It’s not like I am stealing the money, I’ll be earning it. I understand that drugs cause harm and death is a relative but what is the alternative? Give up to cancer and die? Leave my family broke, leave them with nothing except a memory. A memory that was stained by suffering and a prolonged death towards the end. Everything I do, I do because of my love for my family. What’s so bad about that? What’s the use of having the knowledge and not putting it to use? Laboring years for a system that rebukes you. What does “overqualified” even mean? Everyone else is flourishing as a result of their hard labor. Why can’t I be the best that I can be? What is ethics and morality in a Godless Universe? Everybody dies, time forgets and nothing matters in any case. You tell me, what is good, what is bad? Is your criteria subjective or objective? Cause if the people want crystals I am happy cooking it for them, we are adults with freewill and it will be the best, most purist crystal meth in the world.
You think you got a good wife but when the kitchen gets heated she dashes out and goes fucking her boss. After everything I’ve done for the family, after everything I’ve sacrificed. I did everything for the family, she doesn’t recognize that, she doesn’t acknowledge me. All she does is criticize, criticize and criticize. How I wish words were sufficient to make you see the broader picture. It’s like I’ve become an outsider, an enemy, she wants a divorce, she doesn’t love me anymore, it’s like we don’t have a history. Sure I lied but it was to protect you and the family. I wasn’t fucking random bitches, I was working to secure the family’s future. A man’s job is to provide and it has been that way since the beginning of time. How you gonna persecute me for doing what comes natural? Watching the show, I was disgusted with Walts wife Skylar, she abandoned him. She had a righteous aura about her, she judged Walt, she elevated herself above Walt. The balls on her to sleep with her boss. Walter Jr, is correct, she is a bitch! I mean sleeping with your boss to spite me, to get me to react, to get your way? That is devious, beyond Machiavellian. How is that morally justified? I cook crystals to secure the family’s future and you fuck your boss because you disagree with my methods? Where’s your loyalty? You made an oath to be by my side. Nobody’s perfect but how you gon consciously do that? Repeatedly at that! You don’t respect me. You don’t support me. You don’t want to see my perspective. Who made you God to judge over life like that? You are a bad person Skylar, an example of what a wife shouldn’t be. Fuck you too bitch, here are your divorce papers all signed, you got what you wanted I am leaving! Hope you choke on that assholes dick and die!
“Woah! Slow down big fella don’t make this personal”, I’ll try. The show made me emotional and my moral compass was tested. You might make a point for Skylar and suggest that she was only thinking about what was best for her and her family. When it comes to family self-preservation and survival triumphs all. Distancing yourself from a drug dealer is a good move as implications might lead to a difficult life. Stay and you are an accomplice, an accessory, a collaborator of all the crimes. Stay and everybody is a murderer cause you all enablers. Who wants to be on the front pages of morning papers and grace the tabloids columns? It’s disgraceful and worse you might lose everything you worked so hard to achieve. Good points but there’s holes, Skylar was already flirting with his boss before she found out the truth about Walt. It was just a matter of time before something metastasized. She just wanted an excuse to fuck him and she got one. Lines are blurred, I don’t know what is good and bad anymore but I do identify with the protagonist, that’s my nigga, I am with him, I understand. I progressed with him on his Arc. In my view good and bad is a matter of perspective, they are labels that don’t mean all that much – life goes on, we all make our choices and then they make us. Life is not black or white it’s far too complicated because we are complicated creatures who live in a world we don’t understand. There is no definite blueprint for a successful life and everybody is doing their best. Everybody in the show transgressed, everybody in the show is bad, everybody in the show is guilty. I salute the creator Vince Galligan and everyone involved with the show. The characters of the show are complex and troubled. How do you save somebody like Jesse when he believes in his heart that he is a bad guy. The criminals are super professional, have high levels of empathy, supremely intelligent and hide in plain view. Judge one of the characters and it reflects back at you, you feel like a hypocrite because you see yourself in their actions. It is an absolute masterclass, one of the greatest shows of all time. The acting is unbelievable and the writing superb. I was addicted to the show, I couldn’t stop watching. It is excellence. It gripped me, I loved it!
