Month: March 2026

Literary genius

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Literary genius

Just as I feared, Fyodor Dostoevsky has ruined Literature for me. I read other books and authors and it’s not the same. They are too surface level, no depth, no risk, lazy, PG, predictable. I don’t finish reading the books because they bore me. Everything is mediocre after Dostoevsky. Maybe I will never get somebody as great as Dostoevsky. His characters are multilayered, they have fears, flaws and motivations. Fyodor Dostoevsky illuminates the darkside of human nature. Siberia made him a genius. He was scheduled to be at executed but at the very last minute, the order was changed to life imprisonment instead. Those final minutes, those last seconds when he thought he was going to die made him the writer he ultimately became. In those last moments, the colors of plants and nature were fuller, the sun was shinning just for him, for the last time, he gained clarity, he negotiated with God, begging him for another chance. He would become a new man, he now saw life as gift, something he should embrace and be grateful for. If God gave him another chance, he would do good in the world, he wouldn’t take anything for granted. Thank God, he saved Fyodor Dostoevsky. “Notes from Underground” was my first Dostoevsky book, short read, about 100 pages, I had never read anything like that in my life. It is psychological, reflective, honest, self-aware and conscious. “Notes from Underground” is brilliant! The Underground man is pitiful, weak, spiteful and pathetic. He wants to avenge himself against a man who wronged him but he is too cowardly. Dostoevsky doesn’t sugarcoat the human condition, life is suffering and difficult and we are all going to die. The storyworld and tone is dark and filled with insecurities. We get into the head of the underground man and he is pathetic, weak and flawed. I initially thought “Crime and Punishment” was the greatest book in the history of humanity. I couldn’t put it down, I loved it, it thoroughly satisfied me. “Wow” was the last thing I said after I finished the book. Then I read “The Brothers Karamazov” – I don’t think there’s a book in existence or in human history that’s better or on par with “The Brothers Karamazov”. It explores religion, atheism, love, patricide and murder. There’s also the fact that Dostoevsky is a master storyteller and unbelievable writer. I strongly believe “The Brothers Karamazov” is the greatest book of all time. His other books “The Idiot” and “Demons” are great, they all get full stars. In fact if you made a case about one of them being better, no one would argue, it’s perspective, besides all his books are masterpieces. The original psychologist, philosopher, a master of human nature and just a literary genius! He set the bar too high, his work is too great, he helped me see life differently, has inspired me so much and ruined literature for me. But I am hopeful, there has to be someone who can rival Dostoevsky.

Six inches works

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Six inches works

Six inches works,
It goes deep enough,
Won’t touch the base of the ocean,
But it’s enough to induce some screams.

Six inches works,
More is better,
But six is all I got.
Won’t send her to the emergency room
But it’s enough to make her drip.

Six inches works,
Sure,
I am not Superman or Batman at the least.
I’ll take Robin,
He also fights crime and gets the plaudits with the Teen Titans.

Six inches works,
It’s the worldwide standard,
Ridiculous to compare myself with God.

Six inches works,
Not well hung,
But sometimes in the summer it drops.
Winter is the real enemy.

Six inches works,
Sauce concentrated.
See conclusive results in 9 months.
Will give you Aids,
If that’s your thing.

Six inches works,
It’s comfortable and portable.
Add fourplay and it gets the job done!

Scar

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Scar

Sometimes a Mufasa will come out of nowhere to steal your throne, you kill him, they blame you when he was the one that triggered you. I am gonna kill me a king, I am kingslayer. Heroes get set up to take the fall. Making them easy targets, the ones to save the demsel in distress, crocodile tears flooding the ocean, drowning to save a lost course.

Sometimes a Mufasa will steal your girl when you already called dibs on her, you betray him, they blame you when he was the one who did it first. You gotta hand out receipts, sometimes the disrespect gets rampant, shaking reality that they don’t see who they are next to, a little taste of their medicine levels out the playing field.

Sometimes a Mufasa will come out of nowhere to disturb the peace, you start smear campaigns and plot against him, they blame you. When you were next in line. How you gonna let an insignificant creature come out of nowhere to beat you in rank? Convincing everyone of his legibility and taking all the stanks. Running through everything like he got a full tank.

Sometimes a Mufasa will actually win the battle, you can’t blame him, it was his moment. Let him have the glory, the war is long. He will get complacent, it’s inevitable, it’s that kings disease. You let him get comfortable and busk in his false victory, wait for him to show all his weaknesses and you strike when he least expects it to regain the Throne. It’s the game, to be in it is to play it.

Mufasa, Mufasa, why do you stand in my way? Mufasa, Mufasa, what do I have to do to make you go away?

Got a lot of hate in my heart, a lot of impure, grimy thoughts so I’ll transfer it to Mufasa. He wants to be the maryr, typical Mufasa.

Dear Lord help me control my rage, I know everyone I meet is only a version of me, he makes me see the dirt in me, the scumbag in me, give me peace, prolong my reaction speed, help me see the broader picture, give me patience, to weather this storm, flood me with love so it can dilute this hate. Mufasa is my brother, help me see him as such. He is my mirror, may he be reflected as such. I don’t want to feel resentment, set me free, of the pain, entitlement, ego and the urge to control. I put everything in your hands, I am nothing, a mere sinner, crippled by thoughts that will never make me a winner. Purify my thoughts so I don’t have to be a sinner. Mufasa is my brother, help me see him as such. He is my mirror, my he be reflected as such.

Sincerely Scar.

My Worlds 2.0

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My Worlds

I used to love this album. It had a purity about it, it was innocent, it came from a source that was not tainted by anything, it was all love songs and as a poet, I loved all the poetry about girls and love. I understood and connected with Justin all the way. He was born in 94 and I was born in 95, a big selling point. I remember I had a friend, Nkosana Thusi, who loved his music. He had the “Somebody to love” remix with Usher on his phone as an mp3 when it came out – no one had that, that was the video version, everyone had the original version, the remix was highly sought after. The gents back then weren’t open to consuming some Justin Bieber content, everyone was closeted but he had no problem blasting “Baby” featuring Ludacris for all to hear. I would never listen to Justin Bieber out in the open like that! Wouldn’t want the girls in school to think I was “soft” and “sensitive”. Oh hell no, street cred and reputation is everything! Kanye West “POWER” was my jam and just hip-hop in general. Nkosana was comfortable with himself, he enjoyed Bieber’s music, he would play it every time, in the open, didn’t care who was watching or what his peers would think of him. No one had a problem really, it was all in my head, I learned not to project weakness. Singing soprano or just straining your voice as a gent is definitely weakness – put some bass in it! The girls in class loved Justin Bieber and they all gravited towards him. Him listening to Justin Bieber was genius! I always think of Nkosana Thusi when I hear a song off the album, we called him “Big Show”, the gentle giant who loved “One time”, “Somebody to Love”, “Baby” and “U Smile”. RIP Nkosana “Big Show” Thusi.

Big Show got me into Justin Bieber, I liked that Bieber confidence and swag but I still didn’t show it publicly. Publicly was always Kanye West “POWER” but I got all the Bieber singles from him. I ended up purchasing the album and I fell in love with it – double disk, unskippable, just press play. I loved “Favorite girl”, “Up”, “That should be me”, “Overboard” and “Eenie Meenie” with Sean Kingston – Sean Kingston was Dope! I downloaded the album again last week because all my CDs are lost in Limpopo; what can I say, I was chasing dreams, I am rueful, I lost a lot of my CDs, my collection of music that I was accumulating over the years. That Justin Bieber My Worlds album still gives me the same feelings, same emotions, it’s still great, still pure, still a classic, I understand why I loved it so much. This is the only Justin Bieber album I’ve ever listened to, that I bought, that I can endorse, before the tattoos, before the press, before the fame, before the smokescreens and facades. It’s like a time capsule, time sure flys. I am happy Nkosana was in my life.