The Discovery of the unconscious

The Discovery of the Unconscious: A Divided Inheritance

There is a temptation to speak of the unconscious as though it were a single territory—mapped, named, conquered. But what the history of depth psychology actually reveals is something more unsettled: the unconscious was not discovered once, but repeatedly, and each discovery contradicted the last.

What emerged between the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries was not a unified theory of the hidden mind, but a series of competing visions of what it means to be human beneath consciousness. Freud, Jung, Janet, Adler, and Charcot were not collaborators in a single project; they were rivals in a struggle over meaning, causality, and agency. What they disagreed about—often bitterly—was not whether the unconscious existed, but what kind of thing it was.

Was it a storehouse of forbidden desire?

A fracture caused by trauma?

A symbolic inheritance older than the individual?

A mistaken life plan shaped by social striving?

Or simply a neurological mystery expressed through the body?

Each answer reshaped the modern self.

Charcot: Making the Invisible Visible

Jean-Martin Charcot stands at the threshold of the unconscious, not as its theorist, but as its exhibitor. At the Salpêtrière Hospital in Paris, Charcot demonstrated something deeply unsettling: the body could produce paralysis, convulsions, blindness, and pain without any organic lesion. Symptoms appeared, disappeared, and migrated under hypnosis.

This alone was enough to rupture the medical imagination of the time.

Charcot treated hysteria as a neurological condition, but his work undermined neurology itself. If suggestion could provoke symptoms, then symptoms were not merely mechanical failures. The body, it seemed, was responding to meanings it could not articulate.

Charcot did not ask why the symptoms appeared. He asked how they could be produced and reproduced. In doing so, he created the clinical space in which the unconscious could later be interpreted. He did not give it language, but he gave it a stage of evidence.

The discovery here was not theoretical. It was epistemological: what cannot be consciously intended can still act.

Janet: The Unconscious as Breakdown

Pierre Janet moved the inquiry inward. Where Charcot revealed the symptom, Janet investigated the structure of the mind that produced it. His central concept—dissociation—offered a vision of the unconscious radically different from Freud’s.

For Janet, the unconscious was not a reservoir of hidden wishes. It was the consequence of psychological failure.

Trauma, in Janet’s view, overwhelms the mind’s capacity to integrate experience. Certain memories, sensations, or impulses become split off, operating as autonomous systems. These dissociated elements do not seek expression; they repeat mechanically. Symptoms are not symbolic disguises but psychological automatisms.

What is striking about Janet’s model is its austerity. There is no drama of desire, no mythic depth. There is only a weakened capacity for synthesis. The unconscious is not mysterious—it is unfinished.

Janet’s therapy aimed not at interpretation but at restoration: strengthening consciousness, reconnecting fragments, stabilising attention. In many ways, his work anticipates contemporary trauma psychology, which treats symptoms less as messages than as frozen responses.

In Janet’s hands, the unconscious is not a secret life. It is what happens when experience exceeds the mind’s ability to hold it.

Freud: The Unconscious as Conflict

Freud inherits Charcot’s symptoms and Janet’s fragmentation—but transforms both into psychological drama. What Freud adds is meaning, and with it, conflict.

For Freud, the unconscious is dynamic. It does not merely contain forgotten material; it actively resists consciousness. Its contents—wishes, impulses, fantasies—are repressed because they are incompatible with social law, morality, or the ego’s self-image.

Symptoms, then, are compromises. They are the distorted fulfilment of forbidden desires. Dreams, slips of the tongue, neurotic rituals—all become expressions of a psyche divided against itself.

This is Freud’s radical move: he universalises the unconscious. It is not the result of trauma alone, nor a sign of weakness. It is constitutive of subjectivity.

To be human is to be in conflict with oneself.

Freud’s unconscious is also deeply historical. Childhood becomes the origin point of adult life, sexuality the organising force of the psyche. Whether one accepts these specifics or not, Freud’s larger claim endures: reason is not sovereign. Insight is hard-won, resisted, and never complete.

What Freud discovered was not simply the unconscious, but the unsettling idea that self-knowledge has an enemy within.

Jung: The Unconscious as Inheritance

Jung breaks with Freud at the point where desire becomes too small a language. For Jung, the unconscious cannot be reduced to personal history alone. Beneath the personal unconscious lies a deeper layer: the collective unconscious, structured by archetypes.

These archetypes are not inherited ideas but inherited forms—patterns of experience that shape how humans imagine, fear, love, and transform. Dreams, myths, and religious symbols are not disguises of repressed wishes; they are expressions of a psyche oriented toward meaning.

Where Freud sees conflict, Jung sees dialogue. Where Freud interprets, Jung listens.

Jung’s unconscious is not only disruptive; it is compensatory. It corrects the one-sidedness of consciousness, offering images that guide the individual toward wholeness. The goal is not mastery, but individuation: the slow integration of conscious and unconscious life.

This vision re-sacralises the psyche without returning to theology. It treats the unconscious as a source of wisdom—but at a cost. Jung’s symbolic language risks abstraction, and his universals can flatten historical and social specificity.

Still, Jung preserves something Freud discards: the idea that the unconscious is not merely a problem to be solved, but a dimension of being.

Adler: The Unconscious as Strategy

Alfred Adler offers the most pragmatic revision of depth psychology. Rejecting both Freud’s libido theory and Jung’s mythic structures, Adler reframes the unconscious in terms of purpose.

For Adler, behaviour is not driven by buried causes but by hidden goals. The unconscious is not where the past hides—it is where unexamined life strategies operate.

Feelings of inferiority, experienced early and universally, give rise to compensations. Personality becomes a creative response to perceived weakness. Symptoms, in this view, are not expressions of repressed desire or symbolic messages; they are mistaken solutions to life’s problems.

Adler’s emphasis on social interest grounds psychology in ethics and community. He insists that mental life cannot be understood in isolation from relational contexts. The unconscious is not a private abyss but a socially shaped orientation.

What Adler loses in depth, he gains in agency. His psychology asks not “What happened to you?” but “What are you trying to achieve?”

A Fragmented Discovery

What Ellenberger’s history makes unavoidable is this: the unconscious has no single essence. Each thinker discovers what their method allows them to see.

Charcot finds the body responding to meaning.

Janet finds minds split by overload.

Freud finds conflict and repression.

Jung finds symbols and inheritance.

Adler finds strategy and striving.

Together, they dismantle the illusion of a unified self. The modern subject emerges as layered, divided, goal-oriented, symbolic, and socially embedded—all at once.

Perhaps the true discovery of the unconscious is not any particular theory, but the recognition that selfhood is unstable, and that understanding ourselves requires multiple, incompatible languages.

The unconscious resists closure because it names not a place, but a limit: the point where consciousness fails to account for what we do, feel, and become.

And that limit, once discovered, cannot be undiscovered.

Interpretation of dreams #3

Interpretation of dreams #3

Beautiful morning, clear skies, no rain in sight, I had a good dream. Much better, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. A dreamt about money in my pocket, no Spiderman, no shame. In the dream, I am with a friend Kg and he is visibly happy! Gordon’s (Gin) in hand, he is in a celebratory mood. His relationship with his girlfriend didn’t work out and now the dowry money is coming back to him. It was a toxic relationship in any case and they are both better off separated. We went to the shops to buy the Gin but because of his excitement we finished the whole bottle on our way back. Kg did most of the drinking, dry gin, no sponge. He was just so happy that succubus was out of his life. He looks at the bottle and notices that the bottle is almost empty. I blame him and tell him that he finished the whole bottle. He looks at me and tells me don’t worry. He reaches in his pockets and takes out a lot money, he hands the money to me because he is so drunk and tells me “let’s go buy another one, you can pick any bottle you want”.

Analysis: Beautiful morning, clear skies, much better. The dream is straight forward, my friend was in a toxic relationship. They had a miscarriage and he is so relieved he dodged the bullet. Purple nation yeah but there’s also crazy, entitled, baby mama drama! The schemers, the manipulators: ladies, we still remember what you did to Flabba. Crazy bitch stabbed him in cold blood and murdered him and was released from Jail in a couple of years. Purple nation yes but it goes both ways, there’s double standards and a victim mentality here. Kg feels he escaped a Flabba moment, his girlfriend was too crazy!

We were talking about this on the weekend, that’s why it penetrated my psyche and my dreams. She was a hindrance, a stumbling block, in his way and she refused to move over. The dream is symbolic, now that she’s gone, he is getting his dowry money back and is ecstatic – he has money in his pockets, he is happy.

Purple nation, I’ve been reading Momo Matsunyane’s book about plays. Ka Lebitso La Moya is obviously a masterpiece. The other two plays from the book “Penny” and “Unlearn” are also great. All three plays explore rape. Powerful work, she writes in her voice, you know the characters, they are relatable and feel alive. She doesn’t sugarcoat the human condition, she has a deep knowledge of human nature. Reading her plays, I was excited again. I had forgot why I came to the theatre in the first place – the stories. I wanted to improve myself, master the craft. In the course of just trying to stay alive in the industry, I lost that, I existed in another form but I don’t need to do that anymore. I am alive, I am in, no one is in my way. I won. I am simultaneously Kg with that bottle of Gin. Even though psychological, I too cut ties with my toxic partner. It’s time to move forward and reap the benefits, I am going to adapt my stories for the stage and make a real effort to get them on the stage. I am going to collaborate with other artists and open doors and I am going to make a lot of money.

Purple nation aside, I will put down a crazy bitch!

Interpretation of dreams #2

Interpretation of dreams #2

I dreamed I am Spiderman but my webs are not strong enough, sometimes they are not coming out, it’s stressful. Its a nightmare, I keep falling, I can’t catapult. My mask has been taken away from me by another Spiderman, I am not worthy. Everyone can see who I am, my identity is exposed, it’s raining, rain is in my eyes. So much expectations out of me because I am Spiderman, but I can’t do anything, I am falling apart, I can’t beat the bad guy. My webs are not strong enough, too weak and fragile. Sometimes they don’t come out, so I fall and jump. I am exposed, everyone can see my face. So I am running, swinging. I am running away from myself. A longtime friend shouts out my name in attempts to get me back to my path but I web his mouth to shut him up. He doesn’t understand, my webs are not strong enough and I am exposed. I can’t do anything. I can’t save anybody. I am weak. I keep wishing there is a redemption arc, I want the dream to process faster, but it doesn’t, it’s a nightmare and rain is in my eyes. I keep swinging, running away from myself with echoes of my name rebounding around me. Then I wake up. I didn’t like this dream.

I have to watch “The Amazing Spiderman 2”, it’s the only Spiderman movie I haven’t seen, everything was cool and the dream was structured around Andrew Garfield. I was watching, a spectator and suddenly everything changed, it became about me. Spiderman lost his power and the other Spiderman was relentless in getting his mask. The other Spiderman was in pursuit of the original Spiderman. He couldn’t be evaded, he was patient and cunning, jumping, leaping and swinging vertically, horizontally and strategically to make the space smaller so he can corner the other Spiderman. His web strands are thick and strong. He is faster. So much focus and dedication to unmask the other Spiderman. He won and took off the mask of the other Spiderman and escaped. The unmasked Spiderman ceased being Andrew Garfield, it was me and I was exposed and disgraced. The whole dream, I tried getting back to Andrew’s level but I failed. I was not worthy. My webs are not strong enough and everybody can see my face. Everybody can see my shame. I woke up – what a nightmare!

Analysis: It has been raining quite a lot over the past couple of days. My door is damp and damaged from all the rain. I can’t fix it or buy another one because I don’t have the money, I feel helpless to do anything. I applied for a writing masterclass from the John Kani Institute and was met with a “unfortunately…”. And would you look at that? I wake up to a broken fridge and kettle. Immaculate timing as always, thank you so much City Power and Eskom – I can’t fix that too. My feelings of insufficiency and unworthiness breaking charts. I am a weak ass Spiderman and everybody can see. I can’t beat the bad guy, my cover has been blown and my webs strands are not strong enough, they keep breaking and sometimes they don’t come out. I also can’t run away from myself and the rain is in my eyes. A lot of shame in this dream.

Goddammit!! My luck has to change, I need happier dreams. Dreams about love and making lots of money. God, Universe, give me a break man! This Spiderman stuff is bullshit!

Interpretation of dreams

Interpretation of dreams

Ever since I started reading “The Interpretation of dreams” by Sigmund Freud, I have a relationship with my dreams. I am understanding myself a bit better. I should keep a dream journal. The dream as wish-fulfillment. The dream I had today was interesting. My interpretation of the dream is one of fatigue. In the dream I was walking long distances, I am with someone, female, identity not clear but we get along. We both walking but we are fatigued. The act of walking long distance is not a sacrifice, we both love it but we are still fatigued. Something has to give, we can’t keep doing this, there is no reason to keep doing this, there is no incentive to keep doing this, love is not enough, we can’t keep walking, we are fatigued but we are still cheerful and happy.

Intuitively I understand the dream, I’ve been feeling so limited. Feeling so boxed in and disillusioned with life and everything. I do feel fatigued, I can’t keep walking the extra mile. I can’t keep putting people over when they turn a blind eye to my needs. I am fatigued, I am tired. Why do I feel so tired? I think I feel undervalued and unappreciated.

My friends recently went to Durban and they left me behind. I didn’t have the money to take the trip but that can’t be the determining factor. They had transport, they had enough. They left me behind. They never would have done that in the past. It’s like there’s a bridge between me and them and I can’t get over. I don’t feel close to anyone anymore. This bridge is frustrating! It’s a metaphor for my life, I can’t get over and make money in my professional life and yet I am still walking. There’s something in between, hindering me from getting to my destination. It induces feelings of unworthiness, I feel stuck, I have feelings of shame, I am isolated, I have no connections. I am tired, fatigued, nothing I do is bringing the desired effects, even my lifelong friends are indifferent towards me. I am cool with not having gone to Durban, I wouldn’t want anyone to harber secret resentments towards me because I went and didn’t pay – that would be so horrible! However, the trip did have an impact on my thoughts and apparent dream.

I do think the dream is addressing my people pleasing tendencies. It’s a big saboteur, it’s draining me and hence the fatigue. I may secretly yearn for validation from others and hence the cheerful disposition from walking long distances despite my fatigue. The dream is both literal and figurative. Oh Freud, what a mess!

Dahmer

Dahmer

Monsters lurk everywhere in the world and it’s hard to spot them. They have learned to camouflage themselves in the darkness, it engulfs and consumes them, blackening their souls turning them into shadows. Analytical Psychologist Carl Jung explains that human beings carry within themselves both elements of the good and bad, that we are both angels and demons, sick, demented, evil, dark, spoiled. Because we live in a world where we have to co-exist to survive, we surpress these undesirable qualities relegating them into the shadows. Unchecked the shadow can grow to consume our personality and rule our subconscious minds enabling us to act unconsciously. Our shadows can turn us into psychopaths who lack empathy and thrive on destruction. The shadow can enable the individual to be narcissistic, egoistic and maniacal. Shedding a light on our dark sides helps in controlling the shadow. Acknowledging you have a dark side keeps the shadow at bay. Life is a balance of both the good and bad, of the light and the darkness. We are both polar extremes of the same spectrum. You are a killer and a murderer, human nature says you are. You might find pleasure in murdering your brother in cold blood. Cain certainly did when he murdered his brother Able to spite God. The murder was premeditated, he felt no remorse, the action liberated him. I know I am bad, I am capable of savagery and genocide. I may even take pleasure in torturing and tormenting you to appease my dark side. Your suffering might even give me comfort. Am I another Jeffrey Dahmer? Would I drug you, strangle you to death, masterbate over your body, have sex with your unconscious body, dissect and sever your body parts, skin the flesh from your bones, cook and eat your body parts for dinner? The capacity for evil in a human being is unfathomable. Maybe I am not familiar with my own darkness. I don’t know what I might do to you in the right circumstances. The story of Jeffrey Dahmer haunts me because he did it time and time again. A serial killer with a death toll of 17. No one was safe, from boys aged 14 to adults aged 33. He butchered his victims, cut off their limbs, drilled holes in their skulls and injected hydrochloric acid, severed their heads and preserved them in the refrigerator, inserted the bones in the oven to burn them and then crushed them with his sledgehammer, he cut his victims into pieces and then boiled them, he cooked his victims and he ate them, he ate them! He used acid and other chemicals to burn the skin of his victims skulls to preserve them. He bleached the skulls and if they were too weak he pulverized them, some he kept and used when he was masterbating. He felt no remorse, it was a compulsion for him, he was conscious of his actions, he knew what he was doing, he wasn’t crazy or diagnosed with some sort of mental illness, he consciously experimented with his victims bodies in his own words to create zombies, he loved doing it, it was his vocation. I don’t want to believe that I am as wicked and evil as Dahmer but I know it’s possible. To deny this is to repress my own darkness and wickedness. To know I am capable of such darkness frightens me. I hope Jung and Freud have an answer for somebody like Dahmer. Maybe it is the ID out of control. Sigmund Freud explained that the ID is the seat of both the repressed material and the drives, to which had been added to the unconscious fantasies and unconscious feelings, notably guilt feelings. Expanding on this idea, Freud states that the mind is divided into 3; into what we call the ID, Ego and the Superego. The Superego is the watchful, judging, punishing agency in the individual. The ID is self-gratifying and amoral and the Ego is the middle ground of the two and strives to be moral. I don’t think Freud and Jung would understand an individual quite as complicated as Dahmer, to try and understand somebody like Dahmer is impossible. I mean he seduced and lured his victims to his place, drugged them, killed them, cut them and sat with the stench of their decomposing bodies. The smell was second nature to him. Sometimes psychology is not enough, perhaps this is a genetic thing, maybe his the exception in the family tree. When he was finally caught he didn’t resist, he was compliant and told the whole truth, every horrific detail, where he hid body parts, how many he had killed, the hearts, biceps, legs he ate, when the killing spree commenced – everything. He knew what he had done was evil and he asked for the death penalty that was not granted because it was banned in his State. He was accepting of who he was, he was not bothered, he was not haunted by ghosts and demons, he was not remorseful, he even had fans who corresponded with him in jail, fans who projected onto him their undesirable feelings, desires and fantasies and he reciprocated back that energy. Jeffrey Dahmer is your definitive example of a monster, he scares me. Maybe I am just scared of myself.

Our tits, my son

Our tits, my son.

My son got born earlier in the morning and I am ecstatic. He is a gift from my ancestors and the Universe. I treasure him. He is my gold in a world that’s been digitized; valuable, tangible, priceless. It’s like falling in love for the first time, I am in la, la, land, heaven, a place of pure bliss devoid of the construct of time. I’ve never felt love quite like this, it’s like I am floating on butterflies through the clouds of the light blue sky. He makes me believe in miracles. There is a God, – he is proof, a blessing. I am thankful and grateful for this opportunity. I will teach him everything I know with an open heart and a lot of love. I will guide him. Help strengthen him to make sure he is the great man destiny intended. I’ll teach him about business and wealth creation. I was lucky I was broke and built an empire out of nothing. Being broke is experiencing your own mortality, it is being vulnerable and helpless to effect change or influence outside stimuli, that’s why I worked so hard to be rich, to have the illusion of immortality, to be invincible. You’ll be invincible from the start, girls are going to be sending you pictures captioned “you could tear this up”- I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll teach him about the importance of having an inner scorecard and not one based on external factors. Don’t claim to be anyone you’re not. Love yourself unconditionally. Respect everyone and beware of placing too much value on material things because they end up owning you, depriving you of your peace and happiness. When you say you are going to do something, do it, no excuses, be a man of your word my son. I’ll teach him about girls and women. True, they are an enigma and I don’t know much about their motivations and thought patterns. They are truly a strange species, unpredictable, highly volitile, sometimes unstable, frightening and devastating like a natural disaster. They are difficult to assess and understand, maybe they really are from Venus and us from Mars, it would certainly explain why it’s inhospitable for man; too much chaos presided, women can’t co-exist with one another and I don’t mean to boast but man is returning to Mars. Mars is a great place filled giant screens that showcase football and other sports daily, the home of Elon Musk, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos, a place of sport cars and super sleek, fast Teslas, pool tables, infinite alcohol and drugs, no tough decisions, no responsibilities and no circumstances. A place of Goodfellas like Scorsese and De Niro but no death, just collaboration, a brotherhood and positive energy.

But in planet Earth, women are useful as you will soon experience. For one they register and process large quantities of data faster and more efficiently. This is important in the matters of life and death, you need a strong counsel. The trick is just to love and accept them as they are, don’t try to understand them or assert your will on them, understand that disaster might strike at anytime and accept reality for what it is – I think that’s what God intended. Just love them because even with all their uncertainties, they are the most valuable species in the whole Universe, they make life worthwhile, they are the nurturers of life. I’ll give you all the information I’ve attained from my interactions with them. I suggest you seek consultation from other wise men who will also share their experiences and knowledge, this will give you a more wholistic picture. I can’t guarantee concise data regarding women my son, no man can, we are from Mars and they are from Venus.

Of course, there’s this issue of the Oedipus Complex. I suspect there will be some hostility between me and you. You want to possess your mother (my woman) and you are rightly entitled to her. I won’t oppose you son, for the first few months, she is all yours. I will refrain from all acts of jealousy. I know you will appreciate those tits more than anything in the world. Your father is a genius, a visionary and I chose those tits for you. I qualified and discarded a lot of applicants for you to have those perfect tits. That’s my early gift to you because I love you so much. Enjoy them, take your time, don’t rush to get old, drive slow and enjoy the scenery and sensations. Those are our tits, my son, at least for now.

Buy the great man Coffee :https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Antakalipa

Mr. Entrepreneur

Mr. Entrepreneur

This is a 2am post. I couldn’t sleep. I am haunted. I hear voices in my head. That creative demon is possessing me again. Bringing this out in the world will make me feel better. It will enable me to sleep. I intend to post this. Well done Internet, you even have my most inner thoughts, you know me better than I know myself. I try to not identify with my ego because that’s not who I am. I don’t have to pick a side, I can actively choose to be a bystander, to just look and have no opinion. I am not what people say I am. I am not my mind. I am not my possessions. I am not my status. I am not my wealth. I am not the number of followers I have on my socials. I am not my past. I just am, alive, existence. So maybe you don’t know me Internet, because how can you? I am spontaneous. I don’t even know what I am going to do next, the future is uncertain and that’s the element I love the most. I try to be present all the time. The present is all we ever have, everything else is all just an illusion. So why not give the present moment everything you have? Afterall, there is no such thing as the future and the afterlife is a hoax. Time is a man-made concept and so is religion. Everything is all in your head. There is no such thing as time, everything is just what it is, everything is everything! Oh, Lauryn baby, I love that song, congratulations on the great album, I heard it went Diamond! “Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” is timeless like the structure of reality. But I digress. Even though I try to not identify too much with the ego, I have to. Simply because it holds my perceived identity and reality. It is my name, my family, my friends, my social class, my environment, my past, my future, my everything. For without my ego, without time, who am I? What am I? Do I even exist? I can’t just be life, I am being. The essence of being is meaning, a purpose and the ego provides that. This is the great comedy of life because I am something and nothing at the same time. Striking the balance between this nothingness and something is the key. Zen philosophy teaches this beautifully with its insistence on the middle ground, Hu Wei which translates to none doing, don’t force things, stream with what flows easily in life. Take the middle ground and flow. You can’t not do anything, that is a feeding ground for nihilistic thoughts and a unsustainable life. That is hell. Life has to mean something. You need to have meaning in your life even though it’s derived from an ego despite the fact that you are not your ego! Being present in the eternal now is everything because you are simply life, no different from the trees and lillies in your garden. This is what I mean when I say you are not your mind because it seeks meaning from the ego and the ego is generated from external phenomena. Yet you are at the same time, it’s confusing, what a paradox existence is, life is a dichotomy. You are not what the world says you are although lines might be blurred and you might think you are. You are simply life, something spontaneous the universe created. You are a living organism in its purest form, energy, an absolute miracle, the universe experiencing itself. We can’t talk about consciousness because we can’t account for it just like we don’t beat our hearts, it just happens to us. We need the ego to function in daily life because it provides labels that can help us navigate every day life. Being mindful of your thoughts is key to understanding this.

My dominating ego is that of the entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur is philosophical for me. It is my mode of existence. I derive meaning from my entrepreneurial endeavors. It is what I am to the core. It’s what I did in the past, it’s what I do in the present and because I am a creature of habit it is what I will do in the future. I love entrepreneurship because because it allows me to give everything I have to the present moment. It’s in the things I do unconsciously, what I like subconsciously. It’s in my dominant personality trait. I read Hitler with an open mind and Toy Story makes me tear up. I am a creative who has told stories all his life. I worship all art forms and content is my life. I started doing poetry when I was 8 years old. I started doing ads for television when I was 9. At 10, I was in the school choir. At 12, I started selling sweets (fireballs) at school to raise money to buy myself a PSP (Playstation Portable) and I SUCCEEDED! In Highschool, I was a football coach that coached a team that went on to dominate the district. I did it with Kay, the team we started dominated Ekuruleni for two consecutive years, went undefeated for 3 years. Still in high school with my other friends, we created a cult in the form of a concert that lived on for many years after we had graduated. The entrepreneurial spirit is engraved within, again it is who I am to the core. I’ve always been self-sufficient, self-reliant and independent. I am open-minded, creative and I start things. I have the right energy. I create beautiful things. I am passionate. I question things. I am not scared of failure. I don’t live life with fear. Not even the Coronavirus at its peak affected me, I never wore a mask. Not because of my issues with authority but because I am a fucken hero, Mr. Entrepreneur, I risk it all, I risk life! And it was a lot of noise from the media, that’s when I knew I wasn’t going to oblige because they dish out fear to keep us enslaved and in line with an agenda. People are a product for the media and authority figures. Besides, you can’t tell me what to do. You can’t control me! I live, breathe, entrepreneurship. I gave my whole soul to the process. I sacrificed everything for the process, have been ridiculed and laughed at for the process. I have cried for the process. My character has been slandered for the process. I have lost friends and acquaintances for the process. I went to hospital for the process. I am willing to die for the process! And while I am not my ego, I am an entrepreneur, that’s my spirit, my soul, the one thing that has been a constant in my life, I am a creator, I am a creative! I am unemployable, I intimidate my employers, I am too good, I am too ambitious, I am a star, a five point pentagon that cannot fit in a square, a box. Mr. entrepreneur. My time is coming, I will rule, nothing can stop me. I am inevitable like death. This is destiny, it is what must happen. This is God’s plan. I have to replace the previous generation of entrepreneurs. Someday, I will be replaced too. It’s simply my turn to serve. Sorry Devil, I know all of your tricks, you can’t make me drift. In the end I’ll win because I am the best everyday of my life, Mr. Never Change, Mr. Consistency, Mr. Entrepreneur.

Dahmer

Dahmer

Monsters lurk everywhere in the world and it’s hard to spot them. They have learned to camouflage themselves in the darkness, it engulfs and consumes them, blackening their souls turning them into shadows. Analytical Psychologist Carl Jung explains that human beings carry within themselves both elements of the good and bad, that we are both angels and demons, sick, demented, evil, dark, spoiled. Because we live in a world where we have to co-exist to survive, we surpress these undesirable qualities relegating them into the shadows. Unchecked the shadow can grow to consume our personality and rule our subconscious minds enabling us to act unconsciously. Our shadows can turn us into psychopaths who lack empathy and thrive on destruction. The shadow can enable the individual to be narcissistic, egoistic and maniacal. Shedding a light on our dark sides helps in controlling the shadow. Acknowledging you have a dark side keeps the shadow at bay. Life is a balance of both the good and bad, of the light and the darkness. We are both polar extremes of the same spectrum. You are a killer and a murderer, human nature says you are. You might find pleasure in murdering your brother in cold blood. Cain certainly did when he murdered his brother Able to spite God. The murder was premeditated, he felt no remorse, the action liberated him. I know I am bad, I am capable of savagery and genocide. I may even take pleasure in torturing and tormenting you to appease my dark side. Your suffering might even give me comfort. Am I another Jeffrey Dahmer? Would I drug you, strangle you to death, masterbate over your body, have sex with your unconscious body, dissect and sever your body parts, skin the flesh from your bones, cook and eat your body parts for dinner? The capacity for evil in a human being is unfathomable. Maybe I am not familiar with my own darkness. I don’t know what I might do to you in the right circumstances. The story of Jeffrey Dahmer haunts me because he did it time and time again. A serial killer with a death toll of 17. No one was safe, from boys aged 14 to adults aged 33. He butchered his victims, cut off their limbs, drilled holes in their skulls and injected hydrochloric acid, severed their heads and preserved them in the refrigerator, inserted the bones in the oven to burn them and then crushed them with his sledgehammer, he cut his victims into pieces and then boiled them, he cooked his victims and he ate them, he ate them! He used acid and other chemicals to burn the skin of his victims skulls to preserve them. He bleached the skulls and if they were too weak he pulverized them, some he kept and used when he was masterbating. He felt no remorse, it was a compulsion for him, he was conscious of his actions, he knew what he was doing, he wasn’t crazy or diagnosed with some sort of mental illness, he consciously experimented with his victims bodies in his own words to create zombies, he loved doing it, it was his vocation. I don’t want to believe that I am as wicked and evil as Dahmer but I know it’s possible. To deny this is to repress my own darkness and wickedness. To know I am capable of such darkness frightens me. I hope Jung and Freud have an answer for somebody like Dahmer. Maybe it is the ID out of control. Sigmund Freud explained that the ID is the seat of both the repressed material and the drives, to which had been added to the unconscious fantasies and unconscious feelings, notably guilt feelings. Expanding on this idea, Freud states that the mind is divided into 3; into what we call the ID, Ego and the Superego. The Superego is the watchful, judging, punishing agency in the individual. The ID is self-gratifying and amoral and the Ego is the middle ground of the two and strives to be moral. I don’t think Freud and Jung would understand an individual quite as complicated as Dahmer, to try and understand somebody like Dahmer is impossible. I mean he seduced and lured his victims to his place, drugged them, killed them, cut them and sat with the stench of their decomposing bodies. The smell was second nature to him. Sometimes psychology is not enough, perhaps this is a genetic thing, maybe his the exception in the family tree. When he was finally caught he didn’t resist, he was compliant and told the whole truth, every horrific detail, where he hid body parts, how many he had killed, the hearts, biceps, legs he ate, when the killing spree commenced – everything. He knew what he had done was evil and he asked for the death penalty that was not granted because it was banned in his State. He was accepting of who he was, he was not bothered, he was not haunted by ghosts and demons, he was not remorseful, he even had fans who corresponded with him in jail, fans who projected onto him their undesirable feelings, desires and fantasies and he reciprocated back that energy. Jeffrey Dahmer is your definitive example of a monster, he scares me. Maybe I am just scared of myself.

Our tits, my son

Our tits, my son.

My son got born earlier in the morning and I am ecstatic. He is a gift from my ancestors and the Universe. I treasure him. He is my gold in a world that’s been digitized; valuable, tangible, priceless. It’s like falling in love for the first time, I am in la, la, land, heaven, a place of pure bliss devoid of the construct of time. I’ve never felt love quite like this, it’s like I am floating on butterflies through the clouds of the light blue sky. He makes me believe in miracles. There is a God, – he is proof, a blessing. I am thankful and grateful for this opportunity. I will teach him everything I know with an open heart and a lot of love. I will guide him. Help strengthen him to make sure he is the great man destiny intended. I’ll teach him about business and wealth creation. I was lucky I was broke and built an empire out of nothing. Being broke is experiencing your own mortality, it is being vulnerable and helpless to effect change or influence outside stimuli, that’s why I worked so hard to be rich, to have the illusion of immortality, to be invincible. You’ll be invincible from the start, girls are going to be sending you pictures captioned “you could tear this up”- I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll teach him about the importance of having an inner scorecard and not one based on external factors. Don’t claim to be anyone you’re not. Love yourself unconditionally. Respect everyone and beware of placing too much value on material things because they end up owning you, depriving you of your peace and happiness. When you say you are going to do something, do it, no excuses, be a man of your word my son. I’ll teach him about girls and women. True, they are an enigma and I don’t know much about their motivations and thought patterns. They are truly a strange species, unpredictable, highly volitile, sometimes unstable, frightening and devastating like a natural disaster. They are difficult to assess and understand, maybe they really are from Venus and us from Mars, it would certainly explain why it’s inhospitable for man; too much chaos presided, women can’t co-exist with one another and I don’t mean to boast but man is returning to Mars. Mars is a great place filled giant screens that showcase football and other sports daily, the home of Elon Musk, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos, a place of sport cars and super sleek, fast Teslas, pool tables, infinite alcohol and drugs, no tough decisions, no responsibilities and no circumstances. A place of Goodfellas like Scorsese and De Niro but no death, just collaboration, a brotherhood and positive energy.

But in planet Earth, women are useful as you will soon experience. For one they register and process large quantities of data faster and more efficiently. This is important in the matters of life and death, you need a strong counsel. The trick is just to love and accept them as they are, don’t try to understand them or assert your will on them, understand that disaster might strike at anytime and accept reality for what it is – I think that’s what God intended. Just love them because even with all their uncertainties, they are the most valuable species in the whole Universe, they make life worthwhile, they are the nurturers of life. I’ll give you all the information I’ve attained from my interactions with them. I suggest you seek consultation from other wise men who will also share their experiences and knowledge, this will give you a more wholistic picture. I can’t guarantee concise data regarding women my son, no man can, we are from Mars and they are from Venus.

Of course, there’s this issue of the Oedipus Complex. I suspect there will be some hostility between me and you. You want to possess your mother (my woman) and you are rightly entitled to her. I won’t oppose you son, for the first few months, she is all yours. I will refrain from all acts of jealousy. I know you will appreciate those tits more than anything in the world. Your father is a genius, a visionary and I chose those tits for you. I qualified and discarded a lot of applicants for you to have those perfect tits. That’s my early gift to you because I love you so much. Enjoy them, take your time, don’t rush to get old, drive slow and enjoy the scenery and sensations. Those are our tits, my son, at least for now.

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I don’t understand women

I don’t understand women

I don’t understand women. I tried but it’s too difficult. Maybe my mind is not meant to keep such data. Don’t get me wrong, I can get a woman to bed. That’s not a problem, that’s easy, it is as effortless as breathing. It’s engrained in the human psyche, it is a evolutionary trait, my ancestors could do it, Apes can do it – in fact most life forms can. That’s how nature refreshes things, reproduction. So sex is not really special, not in the grander scale of the Universe. All of life engages in it. It is a requisite for sustaining life. It is elementary to life. No one really has an upper hand because anybody can be seduced. Life is not sex it is a byproduct of sex. Sex is not the goal of life. So you see getting a girl into bed is not difficult. In fact she wants it, she’s programmed by genetics, evolution and other invisible things that constitute and make up reality. Sex is natural so she sees through all your facades, deceptions and ego trips. In fact she encourages everything and plays you like Fifa to score, to get laid. She is using you. A spin to the narrative that men use women for sex. That’s not true, women want sex just as much as men. Man has penis and woman has vagina, we need each other. We are complimentary, YingYang. My intention is to ommit sex out of this picture but I don’t think I can. Simply because I think it’s this sexual orientation that makes girls difficult to understand. Little girls are taught from a very young age that they are “special”, that they are “the prize”. This is enforced through television, music, books, movies and popular culture as a whole. By the time they are able to use Facebook they see this playing out. They get millions of inboxes from guys seeking out their attention and it plays to the narrative that they are indeed “the prize” because it gives them the power to qualify men like; “I’d rather go out with Steve because he has a car, Kevin doesn’t”. Women always want the best pick, the best that they can possibly get. They do this subconsciously and unconsciously but this holds true also for men. Men qualify women based on their looks and certain features they find appealing. These are important considerations for the offspring. Women also do the same but the most important thing for them is competence like; can he take care of me, can he provide for the family? So is their thought process derived from possessions? Are women bloodsuckers? I don’t know but the hypothesis that they are is incomplete because another girl might go out with Kevin dispite the fact that he doesn’t have a car, if you tick the other boxes like competence, confidence and emotional stability, possessions and materials might not be a factor. So it has to be their thought pattern, neuroscience. This is definitely not about psychology. For one Psychology is a science, it is Universal, there might be different cases but the applications and solutions to these cases are more or less the same. Two, Sigmund Freud the godfather of psychology professed to not understand women, he didn’t understand their motivations and why they do what they do. It amazes me because Freud was an intelligent guy, he had all these theories and is a major contributor to field of psychology. But when it came to the motivations and actions of women, he shot blanks. I ask myself what chance do I have, if Freud also didn’t understand. I am not smarter than Freud. I like Neurosciences attempt at understanding women. In a nutshell, it says that everything in a woman’s head is connected, whereas things in men’s head are in compartments, in boxes that you open one at a time and close when you done. Man is more direct and derives his meaning from solving problems. Whereas woman is confused. For woman, “Yes” can mean “No” and “No” can mean “Yes”. They use doublespeak like it’s 1984.This analogy explains the unpredictable nature of women. Sometimes they are volitile and erratic like a Tsunami causing destruction and hell, other times they are calm like the ocean at night. Its difficult to understand women because it requires a lot of attention, something that isn’t a strong point for men. To tell you the truth, I don’t think women even understand themselves. That’s why they always need to talk, to explore and crystallize their thoughts. Women talk about everything and this gives them solice. Still, I think they are closer to the source. I think they are closer to God. They are used more by God to effect changes. My reasoning comes from the work of Carl Jung with his work on the unconscious. Women do things more unconsciously, whereas man is more reflexive, by this I mean man is always trying to instill order. Man is more active, whereas woman is passive – woman just is. This gives her the permission to cause chaos and watch on the sidelines. It gives her the opportunity to be spontaneous. Woman is the accident murderer who doesn’t remember what she did. This explains mans urge to subconsciously please woman. This would explain the million inboxes she gets on her socials. Woman has options because the world reacts to her. That’s a powerful realization. Maybe man is not meant to understand woman. Science has deluded man into thinking that he is God. Perhaps not knowing and not being able to understand is what makes everything worthwhile. Just maybe uncertainty is good, it certainly keeps everyone on their feet.

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