A good friend of mine came to me because he needed some advice. I thought “Oh, okay”. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to assist because I am not the advice type. However, I am a good listener so I was pretty sure we could come up with a solution. To assist someone who needs advice, I often use the Socratic method, that is help using framing questions, this way you think that you came up with the situation on your own because you thought for yourself. It is effective because this way no judgments are cast and you don’t give awful advice. The truth is that we already know what to do and often times we just need validation from the outside world. The art of giving good advice is getting the other person to lay out all his cards and ask questions. This way the other person is reflective and your job is done. Don’t say what you think because that’s not what the other person needs, plus your judgment is flawed in any case because you are biased and are projecting – this is not about you.
I listened. He told me about how his in love with this girl whose with this other guy but it doesn’t really matter because the girl loves him and not the guy. A love triangle, I thought. He was in trouble because there’s a power struggle in this dynamic and only one person won, the one on the top. But I didn’t say this out loud, I just merely asked “How do you know that this girl loves you?”. He responded “I just know it. I see it in her eyes. We love each other, it’s always been that way. I retorted, “how do you know?”. Finally he responded “she told me so”. I shook my head not convinced. I then asked “how many years has she been with this guy?”. He responded “About 6 years”. I let that sink in a bit and there was silence for a bit. But in my mind I thought this is a irrevocable case and an attachment style has been established. His not just fighting a mutual understanding, his fighting routines and habits, poor fellow is deluded. He filled it up by saying “But it hasn’t been a smooth 6 years and they sometimes had bad fights and separated”, I responded “Everyone has a bad patch” and he countered “Yes, but not like this, he slapped her, he beats her and his a cheat”. I responded “Okay”. I continued “What do you think of doing?”. He responded “I want to get her”. I inquired “Why don’t you?”. He responded “Because of this guy”. Confused, I asked “Why? Do you know him?”. He responded, “Yes, his close”. And so I recapped his story for him like; “She loves you even though she’s still with her partner of 6 years. She’s the object of desire in this pyramid and everyone is familiar with one another?”. I stopped and the room was quiet for a while. Then he broke the silence and asked “Why doesn’t she leave him?” he was thoughtful. I remained quiet. He put me on the spot and asked what I’d do. I wanted to be neutral so I spoke about the other guy and how I respected his 6 years. To deflect the question I made a joke saying “Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes”, that statement hit him like a snipper on the rooftop. Sorrowfully, he murmured “She’s not my girl”. I felt bad. I rolled a joint and we smoked. It was 6pm and the streets were flooded with people from work, it was peak time, prime time and Avanzas were filled to the brim on the Johnbrant street from Pan African Mall. We just sat by the side of the road and witnessed life, we were silent, we saw beautiful women walking, we saw girls who were too young but had a lot of potential, we saw children in their school uniforms walking home, we saw kids with their friends, we saw men in their overalls and boots who carried their lunch bags, just on the other street a couple of boys were playing soccer and there were roars of youthful energy, the atmosphere was vibey and busy, bells from cars and laughs from people was all we heard, cigarettes were selling like an IPO, it was beautiful and we both appreciated the scenery. Life was normal. Life was happy. Despite the cold truth, it was still a good day.
I don’t understand women. I tried but it’s too difficult. Maybe my mind is not meant to keep such data. Don’t get me wrong, I can get a woman to bed. That’s not a problem, that’s easy, it is as effortless as breathing. It’s engrained in the human psyche, it is a evolutionary trait, my ancestors could do it, Apes can do it – in fact most life forms can. That’s how nature refreshes things, reproduction. So sex is not really special, not in the grander scale of the Universe. All of life engages in it. It is a requisite for sustaining life. It is elementary to life. No one really has an upper hand because anybody can be seduced. Life is not sex it is a byproduct of sex. Sex is not the goal of life. So you see getting a girl into bed is not difficult. In fact she wants it, she’s programmed by genetics, evolution and other invisible things that constitute and make up reality. Sex is natural so she sees through all your facades, deceptions and ego trips. In fact she encourages everything and plays you like Fifa to score, to get laid. She is using you. A spin to the narrative that men use women for sex. That’s not true, women want sex just as much as men. Man has penis and woman has vagina, we need each other. We are complimentary, YingYang. My intention is to ommit sex out of this picture but I don’t think I can. Simply because I think it’s this sexual orientation that makes girls difficult to understand. Little girls are taught from a very young age that they are “special”, that they are “the prize”. This is enforced through television, music, books, movies and popular culture as a whole. By the time they are able to use Facebook they see this playing out. They get millions of inboxes from guys seeking out their attention and it plays to the narrative that they are indeed “the prize” because it gives them the power to qualify men like; “I’d rather go out with Steve because he has a car, Kevin doesn’t”. Women always want the best pick, the best that they can possibly get. They do this subconsciously and unconsciously but this holds true also for men. Men qualify women based on their looks and certain features they find appealing. These are important considerations for the offspring. Women also do the same but the most important thing for them is competence like; can he take care of me, can he provide for the family? So is their thought process derived from possessions? Are women bloodsuckers? I don’t know but the hypothesis that they are is incomplete because another girl might go out with Kevin dispite the fact that he doesn’t have a car, if you tick the other boxes like competence, confidence and emotional stability, possessions and materials might not be a factor. So it has to be their thought pattern, neuroscience. This is definitely not about psychology. For one Psychology is a science, it is Universal, there might be different cases but the applications and solutions to these cases are more or less the same. Two, Sigmund Freud the godfather of psychology professed to not understand women, he didn’t understand their motivations and why they do what they do. It amazes me because Freud was an intelligent guy, he had all these theories and is a major contributor to field of psychology. But when it came to the motivations and actions of women, he shot blanks. I ask myself what chance do I have, if Freud also didn’t understand. I am not smarter than Freud. I like Neurosciences attempt at understanding women. In a nutshell, it says that everything in a woman’s head is connected, whereas things in men’s head are in compartments, in boxes that you open one at a time and close when you done. Man is more direct and derives his meaning from solving problems. Whereas woman is confused. For woman, “Yes” can mean “No” and “No” can mean “Yes”. They use doublespeak like it’s 1984.This analogy explains the unpredictable nature of women. Sometimes they are volitile and erratic like a Tsunami causing destruction and hell, other times they are calm like the ocean at night. Its difficult to understand women because it requires a lot of attention, something that isn’t a strong point for men. To tell you the truth, I don’t think women even understand themselves. That’s why they always need to talk, to explore and crystallize their thoughts. Women talk about everything and this gives them solice. Still, I think they are closer to the source. I think they are closer to God. They are used more by God to effect changes. My reasoning comes from the work of Carl Jung with his work on the unconscious. Women do things more unconsciously, whereas man is more reflexive, by this I mean man is always trying to instill order. Man is more active, whereas woman is passive – woman just is. This gives her the permission to cause chaos and watch on the sidelines. It gives her the opportunity to be spontaneous. Woman is the accident murderer who doesn’t remember what she did. This explains mans urge to subconsciously please woman. This would explain the million inboxes she gets on her socials. Woman has options because the world reacts to her. That’s a powerful realization. Maybe man is not meant to understand woman. Science has deluded man into thinking that he is God. Perhaps not knowing and not being able to understand is what makes everything worthwhile. Just maybe uncertainty is good, it certainly keeps everyone on their feet.
If you had to, who would you banish from the confines of your mind. Who would you completely erase from your subconscious mind? If you didn’t meet them, would your life be better? Would the decision alter the trajectory and quality of your life? Would you then find the urge to follow your dreams? To make the best out of every moment you are handed. Are you willing to start afresh, to start anew and this time on your own terms and conditions? Would that make your happy? Who do you wish you never met? Is it your boyfriend? Is he boring and emotionally unavailable? Is it your girlfriend? Is she needy and insecure? Is it your friends and the lifestyle you have chosen? Is it your mistress and her crazy antics and unpredictable behavior? Who do you want to off like a button and live in an enlightened state. An illuminated state where you realize the importance of orientating yourself to your dreams and goals. You are the most important thing in all of existence and your livelihood and state of consciousness is paramount. Who would you cast out like a demon and liberate your mind. Which neural connections would you sever in order to construct better pathways? Pathways that enhance existence and lead to self-realization. Who do you need to relegate in the recess of the dark abyss to maintain order in your life? Who do you need to forget, to discard like rotten fish. Whose ordour is so unbearable that you need to leave the room? Whose energy kills like doom? Look at your life. Inspect your decisions. Cancel subscriptions from features that don’t show in your life. Move on. Carry on. Forget. Let time pass in between. Forgetting is bliss. Forgetting is preparing for the future. Things that don’t meet your current standards are the stale past made to wither like leaves in autumn. Spring ahead and witness your life blossom. Forget people who don’t think you’re awesome. Forget the mistakes of the past. Forget what could have been. Be present and look at everything unfold before your eyes. Expand your horizon and look farther. Stretch your imagination. Explore. Create new memories. Forget everything that isn’t making you grow, reside in a bubble of bliss and optimism; eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
I like Freuds work on the Superego. Basically the Superego is what regulates conduct, values and morality in a human being. The Superego is derived from society and the teachings from our parents. It serves to regulate order in the world. It’s the total opposite from the ID. The ID is self-indulgent, it is all about me and what I want and desire – to hell with everybody! The ID is unreasonable and greedy. The ID is undesirable, repressed and often unconscious. The middle between the Superego and the ID is the Ego. It decides what is the right course of action for the individual to take. The Ego gathers data from the Superego and the ID and finds a compromise. What manifests in the world is the Ego manifesting itself. This information is useful because we all a Superego, ID and ego. Having a Superego that is in line with society’s standards helps us navigate the world for it enables us to practice empathy with one another. A Superego makes us decent with one another and it is how we foster relationships with one another. However, it can also become a prison, locking you to the opinions of others. This is dangerous because you might lose your identity, attempting to please the people in your life. Regardless, the Superego is what is needed to navigate the world successfully, for it enables you to understand society and the world all around. Without the Superego you run the risk of becoming detached. This is risky because by nature man is a social creature, he needs social connections to find a mate and acquaintances who will help him in all spheres of life. Having a Superego that is morally aligned gives one factory settings in life.
The problem with the Superego is that it fosters a collective mindset. It fails to account for the individual. It keeps an individual at the bottom of Maslow’s pyramid of needs. It hinders the process of self-realization. To actualize you need the ID to stand up and say “No!”. The “No” must be backed up with reason and evidence. The “No” has to keep the customs of the world in mind, it has to account for the Superego and still rebel. This rebellious spirit is what will enable and individual to create his own path. This “No” must be akin to a lion’s roar. It must be prideful, affirmed, grounded and strong. In doing so, the individual will become a Lion. The Lion is something we must all aspire to become because it fully asserts its will. A Lion is the king of its life. It operates in the world with its conditions. The Lion is a big step to self-actualization. The Lion fosters in self-identity in the individual. The Lion makes the individual confident in his abilities. The Lion has a swagger about its walk, it has ingrained qualities that are immovable, it is assured and lives life on its own terms. Activating the Lion in you requires that you only say “No!” and mean it. It requires that you live your “No!”, it requires that you rid yourself of fears and others people’s opinions and judgments. It requires that you live life for yourself. Choosing to say “No!” unlocks a “Yes” for your mode of existence. This means “Yes” to your passions, “Yes” to your dreams and goals, “Yes” to everything you want to be! Saying “No” to your Superego gives the leverage to your ID. It gives your ID expression and fulfillment. It gives you an opportunity to be self-indulgent, an opportunity to know and master your true self, it gives you an open canvas to do as you please. Life is the accumulation of different stages, the Lion stage or the exploration of the ID must come after the Superego has been mastered. This enables sustainable development towards the journey of self-realization.
The natural progression of the Lion phase activates the last metamorphosis in the journey towards self-realization, that is one of the child. The child represents seeing for the first time. It represents the process of creation and novelty. It represents a genuine wonder at the world. To a child’s mindeye, everything is possible. This is the spirit that propels the individual towards the journey of self-realization and actualization. It is the spirit of creation. The natural tendency for man is to create hence Human “Being” entailing presence and becoming more than we are. “Being” is exerting yourself to the world. “Being” is striving to be more. “Being” is an action, it is consciousness and at a fundamental level it is creation itself. We lose this essence in the modern world because we get indoctrinated to man-made systems and adhere to conventional wisdom. In doing so we get identified with our Superego. And as we identify more with the Superego, we surpress the ID, scaling the power to the Superego, enabling the Ego to assume the dominant personality of the Superego. We are taught and programmed to lose ourselves, to abandon our individuality. The modern world teaches us to regress. To find the childlike spirit in your soul, you have to find your passions again, to connect with them, you have to follow what makes your eyes glisten, what makes them shine, you need to adopt your own values and have a deep appreciation for life. You need to live with constant gratitude for life. You need to sway away from the majority and their customs. You need to look at the world with novelty, bewilderment and awe. You need to find yourself again. The spirit of the child is what makes life worthwhile. It is positive energy and calibrates at a high vibration frequency. It is self-sustaining. It enriches your spirit. The spirit of the child is the only way to Self-actualize. Find your inner child voice and let it consume everything you do. This will keep you young, nourish your soul and will give your life meaning. Your true self is the inner child.
I change my mind, I was stupid, I was impulsive, I am an idiot and I apologize. I have to retract my earlier statement. “The Irishman” is not my favorite movie, in fact I don’t have a favorite movie. You changed things for me. Your excellence, your gift, your creativity, your longevity, your passion, your movies. I am only a human being and I can’t resist the urge to compare, but you, your movies, they confuse me so much. I don’t know which is better. I use to think “Casino” was my favorite movie. Sharon Stone as Ginger was inspiring. I truly loved her performance. She taught me a lot about life. I will never forget her. Joe Persci and Robert De Niro were of course excellent so there’s no need to make a comment there. Robert De Niro was one of my favorite actors but now I don’t have any. That goes for you too DiCaprio, you mean nothing to me now. Things changed in 2013 when “The Wolf Of Wall Street” came out. I was obsessed with it. I will never forget that conversation between Mark Henna and Jordon Belfort. It shattered reality for me. It was like realizing that the moon landings were faked, it was awesome! I used to watch it every year on my birthday, it was a ritual of mine. I love how you can teach me about life sir. “The Wolf of Wall Street” was amazing! It was quite an experience, it was grand, provocative, truthful and fearless. Critics claimed that it perpetuated a lot of morally unacceptable behavior but they are wrong! That’s what greed does to a human being. You depicted the greed beautifully. I love how you made me identify with Jordon Belfort. I wanted to be him, I felt like him and then you took everything from me; the hot blonde, the kids, the expensive piece of real estate, the money and my profession. The tragedy! Oh Mr. Scorsese, only you can make me feel that way. I wish I could relive the experience of watching that movie again. It was a once in a lifetime movie. At least that’s what I thought, until I watched “Silence”, 3 years later and I was blown away! I loved “Silence”. It was so challenging. It covered the subjects of religion and morality. Wow, it is a powerful movie. I thought that was your best movie. But then fast forward 3 years later and you release “The Irishman”. Damn! You bring in Robert De Niro, Joe Persci and Al Pacino. You explore powerful subjects like our impending old age and death. That’s not all, you also cover love, loyalty and the mafia. That movie really touched me. It opened up the world for me. I learned a lot. Truly speaking it was the greatest movie that I had ever seen. Better than “The Godfather” trilogy, Scarface and Tarantino’s epic Inglorious Basterds. It was a big omission to concede on my side, it was hard. However, “The Irishman” deserved my number one spot. With that I was done, surely no movie is better than “The Irishman”. I proceeded with watching your other movies. I watched “The Last Temptation of Christ”, “Shutter Island” “Bringing out the Dead”, “The Color of Money”, “After Hours” “The Departed”, “Taxi Driver”, “The Aviator”, “Raging Bull”, “The King of Comedy” and “The Gangs of New York”. I was back to square one. I thought they were all legendary movies. I was confused, perplexed, “The Irishman” was no longer my favorite. I didn’t know which movie was my favorite. And so Mr. Scorsese, I would like to make things right. I don’t have a favorite anything in the world anymore. I don’t have a favorite actor. I don’t have a favorite director. I don’t identify with anything. I am a spectator now. I am neutral. I am a fence sitter. I live life without attachments. I will never judge and compare art ever again in my life! I will only enjoy, appreciate and applaud. This extends to all affairs in my life. I am now truly open-minded. I look forward to seeing more of your films and I thank you for what you have done for film. God bless.
There’s a beauty in infatuations, they color in the world, they have the ability to put you in a dream-like trance, they can make you fly, they can make you touch the sky and they have the promise of making all of your dreams come true. What is it about love that makes people lose their minds? Is it oxytocin, the love chemical that fosters closer relations with people? Human beings are social beings by trait and we need validation of some sort to survive, to live, to thrive. Love is on the first level on the Maslow hierachy of needs. Then again, love also induces cordizol, the stress hormone for it can leave us anxious, stressed and utterly mortified. Which one is it? You know we get butterflies in our stomachs when we are in love. It sounds like a part of speech but it isn’t, you can literally feel them flapping their wings and flying all about in your stomach. It is a feeling that can make a statue out of you, one that mould you into a perfect sculpture or the perfect snowman because it makes you freeze. It is a wonderful, yet terrifying thing. Infatuations, love can make you feel vulnerable like a big bullseye sign in a dart competition, the soft spot, the flank – it has the capability of taking off your panties and laying you down, down into a deep abyss of apathy and helplessness. So what do you do? Do you sit on the sidelines or do you play ball? Do you tell the one that you love, your crush that you love her and that you can’t live without her?
Infatuations are a product of the mind. They are unconscious features that are repressed within you, your mind. A sort of transference and projection. The spirit or soul is boundless, it has no restrictions or demarcations, however society deems to assign it a role, a gender based on the reproductive organs of the body. So, we indoctrinate the soul into the customs of this specific gender. The other half of the soul we repress, relegate and surpress in the realm of the unconscious. By nature, the human soul is bisexuel. When we grow up, we subconsciously take and adopt desirable qualities or features from the parent inverse our gender. Meaning, that a boy is more likely to marry a girl who has the qualities of her mother and likewise with the girl. It is a subconscious phenomena and we do this because they feel familiar. Sigmund Freud, the godfather of psychology calls this the “Oedipus complex”. He states that the little boy is jealous of his father and wishes to possess his mother but is at the same time frightened of this rival and of castration as a punishment for his incestuous feelings toward the mother but nonetheless, he wishes death onto his father. I think it’s a bit extreme but it deserves a mention. It would also explain why sons are much closer to their mothers and why daughters are far more closer to their fathers. It could also be a Ying-yang thing. I like Carl Jung’s take on this with his work on the Anima and Animus. Carl Jung states that the Anima is the female side of the male that is repressed. And the Animus is the male side of the female that is repressed. According to this, we are likely to choose a partner based on our Anima and our Animus. Of course, parents play a big role in this decision because from a young age, as children that’s where they get their education. The individual bears within himself all kinds of opinions and feelings from his parents and ancestors, but which he believes to be his own. Nietzsche states; In the son becomes conviction what in the father was a lie. Not only fathers, but mothers also determine the conduct of the individual. Every person carries within a picture of women which he acquired from his mother. From this picture, he will be determined to respect or despise women or be indifferent toward them.
Based on this telling evidence, you are crazy, you are not normal. It’s all in your mind. You are suffering from a projection that is making you see things that are not there. You are implanting characteristics and traits to a receiver that is bound to reject them. Psychology tells us that man projects onto woman one of several ready-made pictures that he carries within him; the picture of the mere sexual object, of the femme fatal, of the muse, the virgin-mother, those belonging to what Jung latter called archetypes. The same goes for woman but with different archetypes like the woman to save him and the worshiping woman among others. You think she’s perfect because you don’t know anything about her. You know what your mind is telling you about her and your mind draws data from occurances that transpired or what feels familiar, safe or homely. They say that love is blind and that’s true because when you are in love, you are focused, your brain induces chemicals, your physiology reacts and your subconscious mind fools you. Thus being infatuated with a person is the biggest compliment you can pay. The conscious mind has very little control instead your shadow assumes control. Carl Jung describes the shadow as “The sum of those personal characteristics that the individual wishes to hide from others and from himself.” The shadow lurks in the subconscious and is operant when the conscious mind has lost all sight of reality. This makes sense because when you are infatuated with someone, all you do is think about them. You bill them up to more than they actually are. You see no imperfections and frailties, your reasoning capabilities are out of touch and you think they are the most wonderful person in the world! And maybe they are because truth is a subjective concept and you, well you are crazy but it’s alright.
Tell your crush you love them. This is a test, this is about you. By doing this, it will reveal things you didn’t know about yourself. It is an act that will make you courageous. It will empower you because this comes from your lens, your reality, your map of experience. It is personal and subjective and it will liberate your soul. You crush possess traits and characteristics that you love on a subconscious level, it is like holding a mirror to your soul. Take advantage of it, that’s the universal, God or whatever you believe in telling you to go for it – it is a map of experience that is specifically designed for you. It is an experience, a moment in this vast and expanding universe to know something of substance and value about yourself, your history and even your ancestry line. It is an opportunity to free apathy from your life. It is an opportunity to follow your dreams. It doesn’t matter how you do it, do what comes natural to you, do it so you maximize your returns. Write a poem, sing a song get your creative juices running. Be encouraged, be inspired – this is a big moment in your life. Sure, he/she might reject you and rightfully so because like we covered you are crazy but so is everyone else. This important feat is not about the response you’ll get, it’s about personal growth and self-gratification. It is about understanding of the self. Love is difficult, complicated, unreliable and unstable and you took a risk, you took a chance! Who knows maybe in a perfect world, the person of your affection will return your love. Maybe your life will be perfect. Isn’t it a chance you should take?
I think an erection is the best compliment you can pay someone. For it communicates, you excite me, I love you, you drive me crazy! It cannot be hidden, it is phallic. The moment when psychology and physiology are perfectly aligned. It is too awesome. I liken an erection to an infatuation, they are similar in a lot of ways. Firstly, they are a product of the mind and they both need the mind to fill in the blank spaces. Infatuations are a strong desire for someone and well the same criteria is met for an erection. They are both passionate and mystical in the realm of the universe. An infatuation is love, it is a projection, and it is seductive. Popular culture as has attached a sinister connotation to the word seduction and it’s completely misleading. Seduction is arousal, seduction is sexy, seduction playful energy, seduction is stimulation for the mind, it is indirect and unguarded, it is filling in the blank lines, it is reading between the lines, it is subtle and it is for the imaginative. When you are infatuated with someone, all you do is think about that particular person. You make them bigger than they actually are. You project all your dreams and hopes onto that person. That person becomes the best thing that has ever happened to you. When you are infatuated, you become ultra-attentive to that person, you are focused, motivated to find out what makes her tick. The revelations you get are ground-breaking and you want to internalize them hoping that it will bring you closer to her spirit, her energy. You become trapped in a world where she is the elusive woman of perfection and that further seduces you making her a god-like figure. Detached from reality you fail to see the disappointing truth. Infatuations bring light to this dark world.
Human beings have this weird ritual they do when they are in love. They call it kissing and it is strange and so risky. What they do is to lean forward towards one another making their lips touch and often exchange saliva in the process. It is a form of embracing one another. What this ritual is about is acceptance. Meaning, I am letting you invade my space and be all up in my face because I accept you and trust you. It fosters closer relations. It is effective because it is consensual. It sparks neural circuitry in the mind thus inducing the feel good substance in the brain known as dopamine. This process makes human beings feel closer. It also excites the physiology of the participants. When the physiology of the two participates is excited and aroused, it often leads to coitus. Coitus or sexual intercourse is a release – the moment when your impulses take over and you lose control, this is trigged by the amygdala. However, sex has an interesting complex namely the human dilemma whereby we often separate life in two realms – mind and body. We see the two entities (mind and body) as separate and we desperately want to see them as one. Sex without empathy negates the personality (mind) and objectifies the body. Lovemaking is, at its best an act of mutual empathy, at its worst it lacks any such emotional mutuality. Sex without empathy is not sexy, it is not seductive, it becomes mechanical and an outlet vent out your frustrations of the world – and it shouldn’t be because it is a mutual undertaking. One of the things I love about infatuations is that you want to please the partner you are infatuated by and as such you will pull off all the stops to make the activity worthwhile.
Sex can be a complicated endeavor to enter into. Namely because you want the activity to be enjoyable for the parties involved. Most of the time, you can write off the activity as a success if both parties reached orgasms. It is a tricky thing for men to impart to their female counterparts. For men, penetration into the vagina will most of the time do. However, penetration for women is often not enough. This is because of their neural circuitry. By trait women and men are different. This is noted in the ways boys and girls play when they are young. Boys are threatened by anything that might challenge their independence so they play in big numbers and their insistent is on competition. While girls by contrast are more threatened by a rupture in their relationships so they play in small groups with their insistence on quality and thoroughness. As such, women often need special attention to reach orgasm. Sigmund Freud once stated that penetration was enough to give a woman an orgasm but that’s such a manly answer isn’t it? I mean it works for us, surely it will work for them. Sometimes, it happens but it is not the most effective way to do it. To give a woman an orgasm, you need imagination – to play in the realm of the mind. After a long seduction process in which gratification was delayed and the mind was stimulated sure, an orgasm through penetration is likely but still not a 100 percent. Cunnilingus is the best way to do it. I will explain.
From a young age, girls are exposed to their own mortality. This happens when stages like menopause begin. It is a scary and confusing dilemma for a young girl, some are embarrassed. However, something happens subconsciously looking at their own mortality they draw-in into themselves, they train themselves to look at the world with a naked eye, they become more emotionally attuned, they can distinguish what’s right from wrong, they become grounded and they plan better – they become conscious, while by contrast boys are playing Grand Theft Auto and not taking anything seriously. It is the fundamental difference between boys and girls. Cunnilingus like the act of kissing is acceptance but acceptance multiplied to a hundred. When she allows you to go down on her, it communicates trust with her body. She’s vulnerable, naked and completely at your mercy. She’s trusting you with her insecurities. You have a complete grip over her mind. Cunnilingus is mind magic, it is mind witchcraft, it is a spell for the mind – a trance, it’s unwritten, it’s abstract, it’s seductive, it’s metaphysical and out of this world! When you are engaged in Cunnilingus, there’s attention, there’s focus and the will to do it right. Cunnilingus serves underlying desires and fantasies. Cunnilingus will give her an orgasm every time.
The danger about infatuations is real life but then again erections become flaccid – nothing lasts forever. The positive news is that we could refresh, a second erection is a real possibility. Infatuations give us a platform to build something substantial. They are passionate, impulsive, subjective, chaotic and beautiful. For if we can move from the initial infatuation stage to compassion and understanding we will have a concreate relationship and we will have a chance to recreate that infatuation stage since it is a product of the mind. We can create an infatuation loop that will be eternal. By withholding sex and keeping our clothes on whilst remaining affectionate with another, touching, kissing and “dry-humping”. Another thing we could is send nude pictures to one another not too explicit though we have to leave much to the imagination of the brain so it could fill in the blank spaces like a crossword puzzle. Maybe instead of penetration, Fellatio, that will leave every man in the face of this earth grateful! Maybe I wanted you for your body at first but you can show me a different dimension, a different perspective, a different angle that will enable my mind to lust over – to obsess and think about when I am alone. We could drive each other crazy all over again. We could be reborn and transformed. Infatuations are the most beautiful things in the world because they point out something about you – something transformative! In this age of romanticism that should be the first thing that is ticked off from your box. Infatuations are a spark, that juice, that light that has the ability to illuminate your world. An infatuation is love at a very basic level – that’s when you know you are in love when you are infatuated with someone. Reciprocation is a different thing, to love someone who loves you back is rare but luckily we have seduction! Anyone and everyone is immune to seduction with time. Concentrate your efforts to the one you are infatuated by!
Nietzsche’s philosophy was grounded in psychology and human nature, he was a master of human nature. He was a big fan of Arthur Schopenhauer but didn’t agree with the tone of his work because it centered around persimism and nihilism, the idea of why bother since life is meaningless. Nietzsche’s work is an answer to Schopenhauer’s work, it is positive, practical and leads to a life of self-actualization. He was a genius, a man ahead of his time. He correctly predicted the 21st century, this is incredible for a man who was born in the 19th century. I see his observations playing out in life. He saw that the human spirit/soul would be under threat. He saw the decline of Christianity and the rise of nihilism. He saw the reliance of pills, the Soma that Huxley referred to on Brave New World. He saw the depression and society anxiety sweeping the West. He saw the loss of morals, ethics and meaning. He saw that man would be passive and moved by novelty after novelty. We see it today, man would rather sit on the couch, eat potato chips, consume pornography, order fast food that will be delivered to him at his convenience, be entertained by Netflix and repeat next day. Man doesn’t work on himself anymore, he is comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to act on his dreams.
Man is controlled by pleasure, by the dopamine inducing likes on social media, views, sex and everything you can get by pushing a button. There is no process anymore, everything is expedient or prepared in the microwave. Still, Nietzsche has solutions for the modern man. He preaches a life of self-realization and being the best that you can be. He preaches gratitude for life, he preaches life-affirming prescriptions. I understand why the Nazi’s adopted his work and made it theirs. Nietzsche’s work was powerful and centered on the individual being the best. Hitler wanted Germany to be the best in the world. However, Nietzsche’s work didn’t agree with Nazi ideology and we shouldn’t affiliate the two together. Nietzsche’s sisters are the guilty party in this dynamic but that’s a topic for another day.
Nietzsche’s works were inspiring for the individual, statements like “Amo Fati” direct translation, the love of fate – Love everything about your life and be grateful for the gift of life. Don’t wish you were somebody else, be content with your life. Be present and don’t worry about things you cannot control, leave that to God and the Universe. He also preached being the “Ubermench” which translates to Superman or Overman – work on yourself constantly and strive to be better everyday. Progress, show up, make the best of every moment and be the best that you can be. Be better than a consumer, create and build things and never let novelty sway you. His most famous quote, “God is dead” which can be interpreted as be accountable for your own life, be responsible, no excuses, do what you can, no one is coming out to save you.
antakalipa 