humble.

humble.

Overwhelmed by the magnifence of life. There is an intelligence that spurs existence. It knows our hopes and dreams. It cheers us on when we are down, it pushes us past our limits, it inspires us to think things anew. So I am humble, it keeps my feet planted on the ground. Ego and pride aside, it doesn’t build anything, it’s destructive, masquerading as something constructive. It deceives, claiming the glory for itself like you wouldn’t believe. Because it’s hard to conceive of something that’s spiritual and mystical because you can’t perceive. But oh, it exists, operating on different realms and dimensions. It knows our nature, what we are like when nobody’s looking, it’s based on casuality from the effects that started it. So I am humble, knowing everything counts. Cheesy, I know how it sounds but things are seasonal and nothing is out of bound. What you want exists in the present tense, it’s yours, you don’t have to be tense. So I am humble, knowing everything is already granted. The pendulum is in swing, it has never been stunted. The magic is happening right now, all your dreams have been counted. The magnificence of life, call it God or the Universe. You are the essence of it, keep showing up, never regress, even through the struggles of life and the stress, keep holy your highest dreams and never act under duress. You are it, the magnificence of life. Stay humble, water the seeds of others so they may grow. Stand up for yourself and don’t be shy to say no. The magnificence of life, stay humble, God is on your side when you progress in the direction of your dreams. Be encouraged, your victory is written by the stars, that’s what he deemed. Be humble, know your purpose.

DARKIE!

DARKIE!

Darkie,
Hates his own kind,
To elevate him,
He’d rather die.

Darkie,
Hates his own kind,
To promote him,
Would make him cry.

Darkie,
Burdened by the color of his own skin,
Wishes he could shed it off,
Cause black is the color of sin.

Darkie,
Brings his own kind down,
While elevating the lighter skin with a crown.

Darkie,
He hates himself,
Wishes he were something other than himself,
Has a low opinion of himself,
Projects all his insecurities on everyone other than himself.

Darkie,
A consummate actor,
Masquerading as something he is not so he can be a factor,
When he finally got in,
Banished his own kind out of the sector.

Darkie,
Intimidated by other darkies,
Offended by other darkies,
Hates to see the success of other darkies,
Trashes them,
Makes him feel like he is not a darkie.

Darkie,
Hates his own kind,
To elevate him,
He’d rather die.

Haters IV: Idiot, mutt

Haters IV: Idiot, mutt.

Better haters please, I am still here, confidence bulletproof, they took shots but no holes and you can see the proof. Improved effort, better than the last batch of haters. I extend my congratulations, this time I saw the manipulation tactics, gaslighting, labeling, smear campaigns, the blatant lies, all the stuff that usually works, but you dealing with the great man here. Better haters please, you can’t get me to react. Tantrums and blowing like a blowfish won’t get me to react. All that hot air gets you carried away, floating, soaring out of control. Labels? Who you trying to control? Damn! Just when you thought you had all the answers, I changed the questions. Idiot, mutt, what did you do? Why would I listen to you? Better haters please, the last batch was predictable. Moves transparent and textbook but you dangerous and unpredictable? Walked away without a scratch but we were at war? Figured I was in trouble when you said you were going to go raw?

Really? Come on! No! Try harder.

Better haters please, better haters please, KWAAL and jealously only reflects back like a mirror, you thought you were pointing at me but 3 fingers were pointing at ya. Idiot, mutt, you hanged yourself with your own rope. Better haters please, better haters please, the last batch were prideful and weak. Arrogant and smug, they showed all their colors, I didn’t have to do a thing! Better haters please, the last batch couldn’t do anything, I am getting stronger. It’s like their negativity fuels me, I am getting stronger! Idiot, mutt, I never needed you, I don’t need your stuff, I am content with mine, if we gotta split our labor, we’ll do it in a way that’s fine. Still no favors, you get what’s yours and I get what’s mine. Better haters please, the last batch were out of control, emotionally illiterate, sophistication please, so I can at least win a debate. Idiot, mutt, the last word isn’t the last judgment. Better haters please, better haters please, I crushed these ones just like I did the other ones. They were not on my level, I didn’t even have to do much, If you don’t have haters you ain’t doing much, if I were overzealous with the trigger it would be a bit much, but it’s a mass suicide, for death, lunch. Idiot, mutt, I am bored.

Stop killing yourself! Give me something to do!

Better haters please, let’s get in somebody who will really keep me engaged. Idiot, mutt, would you dare come up against me? This I guarantee, I’ll crush you! Better haters please, better haters please, just for practice, I love my haters, they are my vocation. Idiot, mutt, make my day.

Pinocchio

Pinocchio

At Joburg Theatre for the opening of Janice Honeyman’s Pinocchio. So much excitement – we got goodie bags filled with sweets and snacks! Pinocchio is one of my favorite fairytale’s of all time. I love the character of Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio’s conscience. We all need a moral campass to help us get through life.

The show doesn’t disappoint, colorful costumes and vibrant sets. Energetic, South African, interactive and beaming with life. Laduma! Madame Pussy Galore (The Fat Cat) and Madame Ill Fortunato (The Fox) are so humorous. They might have stolen the show, so effective as a comedic duo. A lot of comedic moments, I loved the puns and dramatic irony, breaking the fouth wall at times. Pest control was needed for Jiminy Cricket, he was doomed!

Pinocchio is the journey of a wooden puppet who magically comes to life and dreams of becoming a real boy. Katlego Nche plays Pinocchio, he is wonderful and he transforms into a real boy. Bongi Archi is a relatable father figure for Pinocchio. He can speak African languages, in fact, every character drifted off to their home languages once in a while, to convey a point or deliver comedic punchline. The show is filled with a lot of those, this is not just a kiddies show. There was also pop culture references and jokes for grown-ups. Singalong’s are a given and the audience participated and danced along. Laduma! CR7! SUII! Lesedi Rich is boundless energy as Lampwick Rich!

The sets colorful, larger than life, neon lights, full of imagination! Two acts with an interval, the whole journey is so much fun!

The actors
Katlego Nche – Pinocchio
Gina Shmukler – Bella Bouboulina
Sandi Dlangalala – Jiminy Cricket
Bongi Archi – Geppetto Spoletto
Lesedi Rich – Lampwick Spaghetti
Tiaan Rautenbach – Dame Arletti Spaghetti
Brenda Radloff – Madame Ill’ Fortunato (Fox)
Camilla Waldman – Madame Pussy Galore (Cat)
Mark Richardson – Senor Napolio Strombolio
Luciano Zuppa – Luciano Panzarotti
Noluthando Mathebula – Dainty Dolly

Costume Designer: Mariska Meyer

Set Designer and Builder: Enos Ramoroko

Lighting Designer: Johan Ferreira

Congratulations Janice Honeyman and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

📸: SamSays

Barbershop Chronicles

Barbershop Chronicles

At the Market Theatre for the opening of Inua Ellam’s  Barbershop Chronicles. I postponed releasing this because the show centers a lot around a very painful memory. The UEFA Champions League semi-final against Chelsea. A tie Chelsea won by deploying negative tactics, a low block, parking the bus at the Camp Nou and countering with a last minute Fernando Torres goal. The cast of the show are having a lot of fun with that result, a lot of these barbers around the world are Chelsea fans. I am very much a Barcelona fan.

The play chronicles six different barbershops scattered across London and various African cities: including Lagos, Johannesburg, Harare, Kampala, and Accra. The whole story unfolds over the course of a single day, though in different times and places, giving a sweeping, episodic sense of lives, connections and conversations across the diaspora. The play covers themes of black masculinity, identity, fatherhood, absent fathers, intergenerational relationships, community, belonging, vulnerability and healing. The performers have soul and personality. They are authentic and lively, they are humorous, they have quirks. The show has a lot of energy and enthusiasm but also emotional and intimate. There’s even singing and choreographed dancing – a truly spectacular show! It evokes feelings of nostalgia, it’s familiar in every timezone. I loved visiting Lagos, Abongile Matyutyu is an unbelievable actor! So happy and relieved when his customer came back late to pay him for the haircut. Everyone is awesome!

The actors
Farai Chigudu
Langalibalele Mathuthu
Tumelo Namtweya-Phiri
Nhlakanipho Manqele
Luntu Masiza
Abongile Matyutyu
Thabang Chauke
Anthony Oseyemi
Mthokozisi Oseyemi
Mthokozisi Emkay Khanyile

I was patient, I waited for another match in the Champions League against Chelsea so I could have the last laugh. FC Barcelona lost 3-0.

I really dislike Chelsea.

Congratulations Sibusiso Mamba and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

📸: SamSays

KWAAL

KWAAL

KWAAL

I hate everything about you, ke Kwaal, I hate the way you walk, you talk, you dress and your overall demeanor, ke kwaal. Don’t know why I hate you so much but I just do, ke kwaal, you make my skin crawl and my blood boil, ke kwaal. It’s your attitude, your mannerisms, you walk like you rule over everything when you ain’t the boss of shit, kwaal, everybody must kiss your feet, everybody must supply you with sweets, kwaal. I would push you into a moving truck if I could, kwaal, you will never make it in the world, kwaal. I made you and you are nothing without me, kwaal, kwaal, kwaal!

I hate everything about you, ke Kwaal, I will make sure you will never amount to much, kwaal, will start smear campaigns against your name, kwaal, will tarnish your reputation, kwaal, will do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t set a foot here, kwaal. If I could, I would wipe you off the face of this earth with a snap of a finger like Thanos, kwaal. I don’t know what my problem is with you but I hate you so much, Kwaal!

Hi there, I don’t understand your kwaal but I’ll play. I see you a cunt but did you know I am an asshole? Happy to dish out shit for you on a silver platter.

I hate everything about you, ke Kwaal. It’s your energy, it sucks, kwaal. You repel everyone like bad ordour, kwaal, and your intelligence, miniscule like a mustard seed, kwaal. I guess it makes sense, seeing you are a bastard, kwaal! All this kwaal must give your life significance. You sitting atop and everything lower just doesn’t have importance. Maybe you will live forever, let’s put it to the test. Go jump off a bridge, Kwaal! Ain’t nobody got time for your tired ass.

I hate everything about you too, ke Kwaal, I hate the way you walk, you talk, you dress and your overall demeanor, ke kwaal!

p.r.i.d.e. i.s. t.h.e. d.e.v.i.l.

p. r. i. d. e.  i. s.  t. h. e.  d. e. v. i. l.

Pride is the devil, it’s evil, the shortest way to the graveyard. It’s single minded, starts off small and harmless but metastasizes as a fire breathing demon that needs souls to survive. The reason you won’t apologize despite the fact that you wrong. The cousin of power and distant relative of insecurity. Temper, temper, so you don’t like being challenged. Pride is the devil, it seeks expression from surpressing others, dominating, beating you into submission, tapping out won’t help, it wants the gratification of breaking your bones. I made you a cripple, that’s my claim to fame. It starves for attention, it needs your validation, “Acknowledge Me now, I am the greatest of all time”. Pride, pride, pride it wants the whole podium because when you are number 1, you need 2 and 3, that’s how you maintain dominance. Pride is the devil, the direct sister of narcissism and the brother of grandiosity, it yearns for the applause, the plaudits, acclaim, the spot light. Once is not enough and all the money in the world is not enough! Pride, the reason you flaunting what you don’t have, Mr. Money bags, expensive taste, swag, swag, swag, chosen and you’re not, you’re at the bottom of the barrel. Pride, pride, pride, keeping up with the Jones without their credit score. Pride is the devil, it elevates itself higher than everything, everyone. It’s smug, arrogant, out of sync and offends. I am more good looking than you therefore, I am better than you. Pride, pride, pride is egocentric, it lacks empathy, compassion and is out for itself. I don’t care about anyone, I only care about me. Woah! Slow down big fella, what brought about this pent-up aggression. Oh, you not getting some. Pride, when you beat on your dick so much, you repel pussy. Pride, pride, pride will get you enemies faster than a Bugatti Veron, self-deceit more powerful than the biggest engine and it turns to blow-up in your face, 9/11 style, it sends masses to their graves. Pride is the devil, it takes the glory from God and promotes itself. It is sly, tricky and treacherous, using smokescreens and blatant lies to get what it wants, the girlfriend of manipulation, it seeks to control your reality so it can sit elevated on a pedestal. Pride is the devil, it fails to acknowledge other people’s contributions, it would rather gaslight or distort reality. Pride, pride, pride, the fastest way to the graveyard, it makes you a target that everybody wants to take out. The opportunity to put you to your knees is too good to pass up on, when you are prideful, everybody seeks to humble ya, if good old competition doesn’t do it, then a bullet in the head will. Pride, yes you have got 10 inches but 6 inches works and goes on longer, you will get replaced. Who wants a big prick all the time? Pride is the devil, it’s evil, the shortest way to the graveyard.

antakalipa – Pride is the devil

BDE II

BDE II

Insignificant peasant,
does he know how big my dick is,
pipsqueak motherfucker,
I should just whip it out,
traumatize the little fucker,
acquaint him with my boots for a while,
he wouldn’t last a day in my shoes,
I’ll crush him,
pipsqueak motherfucker,
I should let him fuck her.

I’ve been too kind,
niggas don’t know what’s in the hidden,
if they knew, they would tread lightly,
it’s time I acquaint them with a real God.

10 inche motherfucker,
it goes straight to your kidneys.

BDE fully activated,
after I am done,
it’s done,
she won’t let me touch her.

Ruin her for humanity,
who do you think you are,
you not Superman,
I am.

The emoji hearts you sending are pretty amusing, you are way above your depth,
I am the greatest of all time,
the biggest of all time
and ready to party any time.

BDE activated,
flaccid dick yours when you’re fully activated,
it’s too big,
it’s too wide,
it won’t fit,
such a big ego,
pipsqueak you’re wasting my time,
you not in my league,
do you know how big my dick is?

antakalipa – BDE II

POWER II

POWER II

What did I learn about power from Game of Thrones, Game of Power? You can’t rule without love, fear or wealth. Love influences and can mobilize people to get them to do what you want. Fear involves repercussions and punishment, an effective way to rule because if you don’t do what I ask of you I’ll take your head off your shoulders and put it on a spike. Wealth incentivies and rewards playing on our greed and our primal desires, do this for me and you’ll get all the gold you’ll ever need in your lifetime. But beware, a man that can be bought with gold will betray you for a bigger bag of gold. Better align yourself with loyal servants who have character and good morality. Even that’s not enough because they can turn on you if it serves their best interests. As a general rule, blood is thicker than water, ensure the bloodline is protected and make provisions for the offspring, this will grow the family name and keep the power within. No outsiders, your seed marries my seed and my seed marries your seed, that’s how you keep the power concentrated. Power, depend upon your own arms. Power, avoid committing to anybody, stay formless like water, but if you have to choose, go with the option that furthers your goals. Power, to attain it, you need to get your hands dirty, make a bold statement, cross the line, decapitate heads, put them on spikes, flay your enemies, conquer nations, make civilians your slaves and keep them dependent on you, no weakness poeticize your reign. Power is power, morality and ethics aren’t attached to it, if you have incriminating information on me and I am higher on the spectrum, I can just have your life and avoid the leak. Power, being a goody two-shoes will only get you in a body bag, you’re soft, you’re weak, you’re not willing to do what it takes. Power is about manipulation and self-preservation, no one attains power with the aim of relinquishing it one day, you have a little power to get more, your appetite never gets quenched. Power involves war and war is about men fighting and dying. That’s all that war is, a good general is the one who has mastered the art of dying because death comes for everyone, if you can embrace your fate then all the better, you’ll scale right to the top. Power, you need to crush your enemy completely, show no mercy, you don’t attack to maim because the enemy will get better and come at you with everything’s his got, no showboating, stick to the task at hand, celebrate when the body is cold. Power is deception, make the enemy think you are strong when you are weak and weak when you are strong, never show your true hand. Let them think they are ahead and then counter with a flanking maneuver to catch them off guard. Power, make your enemy see what they want to see, use smokescreens and theatricalies to make yourself elusive and attack when they least expect it. Power, find your enemy’s weak points and weaknesses, infiltrate using spies and double-agents, don’t be a fortress, isolation is dangerous. Power, what you have conquered, conquers you, it’s a double edged sword. Power is political and you need alliances, more men dedicated to your cause will improve your odds of victory. Power, even king’s get slaughtered like sheep, there is no blueprint because we all succumb to our mortal decaying bodies. Power, it hates a vacuum, when a reign ends another succeeds it immediately. Power, it’s all a game, it’s not fair, it’s not pretty, it’s in different, it just is. Power, because the whole world is a power struggle, that’s what Darwin meant when he stated survival of the fittest. Power, it is what we humans do best, beating you into submission makes me your master, I own you, you are my bitch now. Power, ever wonder why ruthless manipulative monsters are on top? Now you know – POWER!

shrinkage

Shrinkage

At a friend’s, it’s scotching hot, we have ladies, I am invested in landing one, we have a pool, we all take a swim. I can’t swim so I am on the shallow side, it’s okay, it’s not embarrassing, some of the ladies are lingering on my side, I am counting three, they also can’t swim, I am cool. Some of the gents are flexing, back flipping and butterfly strokes, deep dives and touching the base of the pool, can’t lie I wish I could do that, I am envious but my jealousy is contained, what I would do to swim coast to coast but I’m a scared little bitch so the shallow side is where I am confined. It’s okay, it’s not a trainsmash, after all we all in the same water. We vibing, we having fun, we play a watergame, water volleyball, it’s 4 a side, my team loses but it’s okay, we were up against a team of professional swimmers while I was the captain of a team that can’t swim for shit! Fatigue sets in and I get out of the pool, the sun is also setting so everybody gets out, a moment is spent sunbathing while I go take a shower. When I am done I go into a room where my clothes are, strip naked and suddenly the door swings wide open, idiot stupid girl doesn’t knock, I am exposed and my Johnson has shrank, it’s like a raisin, It’s understandable, I just took a swim, my body temperature is cold, Mr. Johnson was tucked in, a simple phenomena, it’s called shrinkage, it’s not a true representation of what I am usually like, it’s shrinkage, I am not well hung but I am better than this, this is shrinkage. She took one look, laughed a bit, apologized and exited the room. Oh crap! All the girls are about to know about my Johnson and I doubt it will be in a flattering light, but they don’t understand it’s shrinkage! I am better than this, I am better than average, this is shrinkage, I just took a swim, don’t laugh, it’s shrinkage! Never swimming again because of shrinkage!

antakalipa – shrinkage