I don’t need no favors from anybody. I don’t owe anybody a favor. Everything is lined up for the taking. Take your free lunch with, I am packed. I don’t need no handouts. Some of yal are too entitled. Relax, you ain’t help with shit. I don’t waste my time with niggas, I just set my price and live my life. If you serious we can talk business just don’t waste my time. Some of yal are good with the dice, you take chances. Know your story chief, I am not doing a job with accident murders. Quitting on the mission is not an option neither, this is death ground strategy, stay strapped. Don’t surrender alive, that’s the way of the warrior!
I don’t need no favors, let’s collaborate on something that is mutually beneficial. Enough with the naivete, we not children, we are not doing this because we “like” each other. Let’s discuss terms, roles and profit share. Let’s be professionals, everything else is secondary.
I don’t need no favors from anybody. I don’t owe anybody a favor. I am winning in either case, everything is lined up for the taking.
I have simulated losing everything in my mind. This is a stoic exercise that helps me conquer fear. Because if I am comfortable losing everything then I am free. Free to self-realize. Free to be what destiny intended. Free to be great. Life is broader than material things. Life is emotions, perceptions and sensations. Life is awareness. Life is presence. Life is precious. Life is a miracle. Life is a beautiful process that keeps on getting better. Life is evolution and progression. Life is freedom. Life is creation. Life is love. I realized a while back that earth was heaven. Heaven is not some utopia that you get to. Heaven is already within. Heaven is what you create and God gave us complete control of our minds to create. Expression is creation and mind is expression. This is it. It doesn’t get better than earth. It doesn’t get any better than this, this moment. It doesn’t get any better than what is within. You have the responsibility to create your own heaven, heaven is a state of mind. My heaven is one where I am a Billionaire. Being a Billionaire for me represents infinite creation. A chance to implement my dreams and to color in the world. It is a chance to help. I’ve got a big heart and at my core I am love and I want to give life to that expression. I’ve never really cared much for materials, I prefer creating experiences, they last longer. Still I’ve always loved money. Money is power. Money buys a priceless commodity, time. But it is also external, which makes it dangerous because it is out of your control. Because it is external, it can make you suffer because of the imprints you attach to it. Money can repossess your soul. The love and worship of money can make your heart leak like bullet holes. That’s if you identify with money. I just see it as a tool and I don’t want life to elude me because of a lack of it. That’s not what God intended for me, I live in complete abundance, everything I want is mine. So money can’t be a hindrance. From a very ripe age, my visions of the future would be of me working towards that ideal of attaining riches. I suspended everything for this vision and narrowed my focus and it created a fear that I’d be alone. It’s a fear that has manifested itself onto the world. I finally got a girl whose perfect in every sense. A girl who loved me before everything. She loves me and I love you. She is someone who can make me better, Lord knows I am flawed, messy and Imperfect. We can be better together. I need her. I don’t want to lose her. She takes care of me. Where else am I going to find this in this cold world where nobody really cares about me? Who has more value than her? I don’t know. Because of my flawed ambitions pertaining to money, I have to look ahead. Meanwhile time waits for no man. Paulo Coelho taught me that a woman can’t keep a man from achieving his personal legends and it makes sense for me. I am just ambitious that’s all there is to everything. Now that I am alone and have lost my best thing, now that the worst has already happened to me, I can labor on like a prisoner serving life in a concentration camp, with hope that everything will be better someday; Lost ones.
My son got born earlier in the morning and I am ecstatic. He is a gift from my ancestors and the Universe. I treasure him. He is my gold in a world that’s been digitized; valuable, tangible, priceless. It’s like falling in love for the first time, I am in la, la, land, heaven, a place of pure bliss devoid of the construct of time. I’ve never felt love quite like this, it’s like I am floating on butterflies through the clouds of the light blue sky. He makes me believe in miracles. There is a God, – he is proof, a blessing. I am thankful and grateful for this opportunity. I will teach him everything I know with an open heart and a lot of love. I will guide him. Help strengthen him to make sure he is the great man destiny intended. I’ll teach him about business and wealth creation. I was lucky I was broke and built an empire out of nothing. Being broke is experiencing your own mortality, it is being vulnerable and helpless to effect change or influence outside stimuli, that’s why I worked so hard to be rich, to have the illusion of immortality, to be invincible. You’ll be invincible from the start, girls are going to be sending you pictures captioned “you could tear this up”- I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll teach him about the importance of having an inner scorecard and not one based on external factors. Don’t claim to be anyone you’re not. Love yourself unconditionally. Respect everyone and beware of placing too much value on material things because they end up owning you, depriving you of your peace and happiness. When you say you are going to do something, do it, no excuses, be a man of your word my son. I’ll teach him about girls and women. True, they are an enigma and I don’t know much about their motivations and thought patterns. They are truly a strange species, unpredictable, highly volitile, sometimes unstable, frightening and devastating like a natural disaster. They are difficult to assess and understand, maybe they really are from Venus and us from Mars, it would certainly explain why it’s inhospitable for man; too much chaos presided, women can’t co-exist with one another and I don’t mean to boast but man is returning to Mars. Mars is a great place filled giant screens that showcase football and other sports daily, the home of Elon Musk, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos, a place of sport cars and super sleek, fast Teslas, pool tables, infinite alcohol and drugs, no tough decisions, no responsibilities and no circumstances. A place of Goodfellas like Scorsese and De Niro but no death, just collaboration, a brotherhood and positive energy.
But in planet Earth, women are useful as you will soon experience. For one they register and process large quantities of data faster and more efficiently. This is important in the matters of life and death, you need a strong counsel. The trick is just to love and accept them as they are, don’t try to understand them or assert your will on them, understand that disaster might strike at anytime and accept reality for what it is – I think that’s what God intended. Just love them because even with all their uncertainties, they are the most valuable species in the whole Universe, they make life worthwhile, they are the nurturers of life. I’ll give you all the information I’ve attained from my interactions with them. I suggest you seek consultation from other wise men who will also share their experiences and knowledge, this will give you a more wholistic picture. I can’t guarantee concise data regarding women my son, no man can, we are from Mars and they are from Venus.
Of course, there’s this issue of the Oedipus Complex. I suspect there will be some hostility between me and you. You want to possess your mother (my woman) and you are rightly entitled to her. I won’t oppose you son, for the first few months, she is all yours. I will refrain from all acts of jealousy. I know you will appreciate those tits more than anything in the world. Your father is a genius, a visionary and I chose those tits for you. I qualified and discarded a lot of applicants for you to have those perfect tits. That’s my early gift to you because I love you so much. Enjoy them, take your time, don’t rush to get old, drive slow and enjoy the scenery and sensations. Those are our tits, my son, at least for now.
I want to love you and treat you well. I want to build a home with you and start a family. I want to kiss all your troubles away and watch them dissipate like entropy. I want to be with you for a lifetime. I love you, you are my soul mate and in my heart I know I’ll never find better. You are my special gem, my Queen. You are my heart, the pulse of life that’s keeps me moving. You are my future, everything I yearn to be. You are my heaven, a place of bliss where everything makes sense. I love you. I know I am not perfect, I know I am heavily flawed but that’s why I need you, to make me better, to take care of me. I feel like Jerry Maguire, “you complete me”. You make me want to be a better person. You make me feel like I can fly. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I would go through hell to see you happy. I love you, let’s stay together.
When you have the one you love in your arms. Is there anything better? Like “look at what I’ve got.” Thank you God for this gift. I’ve been looking for her all my life. I love you so much. Please be with me a lifetime. Love is good when it’s just shared by two people. No one needs to know. No social media. No one needs to approve. No expectations from the outside world. Just us and our mutual understanding. Look what I’ve got in my arms.
If I could just see Faith just one last time. Yes, definitely in my top 5. I met her through a friend. Easily the greatest pass of all time. Thank you mpinch, I am eternally grateful. I really needed that pass. It was difficult with Faith. I never would have gotten that close to her without my boy. It was impossible. What made Faith a mission was the fact that she didn’t live in Gomora, she came here to visit her grandparents. She was a cheese-girl. She grew up here in Gomora and that’s how my boy knew her. When they were younger, they had this kids romance thing. I first saw Faith in 2010, I remember it was game day and Argentina was playing Nigeria. Argentina won courtesy of a Heinze header in the 6th minute. I wasn’t particularly impressed with that performance. Messi or Higuain didn’t score and I expected better. After the game I went out to get some air and there I saw her. It was as if time stopped for a while, everything proceeded in slow motion. It was like I was in a Scorsese movie looking at the girl of my dreams. She was absolutely perfect. She had a million dollar body. Great ass, good thigh to ass ratio. Flat stomach, she was fit like Serena Williams. Yellow bone in complexion. She had frickles on her face. That day she had just done her hair so she was brand new. She was a stunna! I remember looking at her and thinking “Nah, not today, Argentina had a bad game. Messi didn’t score. I can’t do anything today, I am useless”. Of course, I was rationalizing the whole situation. The truth is that heartburn set in and I didn’t think I’d be able to talk to her. What was I going to say to her? After that I always thought about her, thinking about how I missed a great chance and how I’d do anything for another chance. It was a while since I saw here again, I think I saw her again after a year. I was with my boy and it was like 8pm and we saw Faith walking with her friend. I flipped, I was like “Yoh mfana, here’s this girl again”. The showoff enquired “You mean her?” and I said “Yes, do you know her”. He said “Sure, follow me.” I couldn’t believe my luck. We approached the two girls and hey what do you know he did know her. We talked and we exchanged names. Mxit was a dying technology but I knew that I’d be able to get Faith’s number indirectly through that medium. So I asked and she gave it to me. I also asked her friends number for some diversion. The whole interaction needed to be neutral. I deleted the friends number when I got home and started work on Faith. We started chatting on Mxit and it was good for a while, so we took things to the next level and went to Whatsapp. I am really not a social media guy so it was all for her. I asked to see her in the flesh and I told her that I liked her and gradually things started happening. We spent a lot of time together when she came visiting. She made my heart beat like bass. We would go on dates. It was great. On the second date I screwed up, I don’t know why I did that. I kept talking about this girl I had a crush on in Primary who attended school with her. The girl I was referring to was a stunna and Faith knew her even though she down played it. Next thing I heard was how she didn’t like how I spoke because used a lot of “Tsotsi taal” in my language like “Why don’t you speak properly?”. I was confused but I realized I was trouble like “that’s how I talk, I can’t change”. She hinted I was too ghetto for her. She started drifting away from me. The more she pulled back, the more I advanced. It didn’t look good. I came across as needy and insecure. I ended up letting her go. Lesson learned never talk about another girl when you are with a prospective. It’s a simple one, I don’t know how I missed that one. I wanted to make her insecure, it backfired; a fools failed attempt. I did some Introspection. Man, Faith was great, she was beautiful, smart, had a great sense of humor, banging body and her laugh was incredible. She made me feel like Superman every time she laughed at my jokes. She was top quality.
I met a girl that I used to know today. Her name Koketso. I got acquainted with her in my teenage years. I was operating a shop selling high end candy. I didn’t really know her at the time but I was chilling at my shop with a friend and he was busy telling me about her. He was telling me about how she had a perfect body and how she was his girlfriend and how she fucked her. Okay that’s good, a friend getting a piece of ass is always good. Especially if it’s quality ass and it sounded like it. Naturally, I saluted him and told him that I’d like to see her some time. He responded, don’t worry, she’s always roaming the streets you’ll see her. That was a reassuring answer. I was happy with that answer. As fate would have it, she came by my store to buy candy later that afternoon. He pointed to her whispering “that’s Koketso” . I thought that was suspect behavior. He avoided eye-contact and kept his eyes on his phone the whole time. He was mute like a television set. It was like she was not his girl. It was a strange interaction. He was more scared of her. To his credit though he was telling the truth about her features, she did have a banging body. She was hot. I was impressed. After the transaction was completed and she left. I asked my boy why he didn’t talk to her. He gave me this whack explanation citing she was angry at him so I laughed at him. From what it looked like, Koketso didn’t even know who he was. I told him straight up that he was full of shit and that he was claiming. He swelled up and said he’ll show me next time. Next time came and we were by the shop. By now I knew Koketso, she was a regular customer of mine and because I always strive for raving reviews, I managed to strike up a conversation with her, she was complicit and engaged so we would always have wonderful conversations. Anyways this day she came up with her friend and my boy saw this as an opportunity to engage her to prove to me that he was not a fraud. He was flat-out ignored and the two friends continued conversing. He tried again and was halted by a “fosek wena, can’t you see we are talking”. Koketso was real like that, she didn’t shy away from telling you to “fok off”. It was brutal. After they left I laughed. Typical I thought, niggas always claiming to fuck girls they absolutely have no chance with. Koketso started coming more and more to the shop with her friend. Sometimes they would chill with me for hours while I moved product. Slowly her friend was omitted from the equation and it was just me and her. We got close and spent a lot of time together. It was great. My candy shop was generating a lot of attention. Koketso wasn’t the only one, I was popular among girls, many of them had crushes on me. It was cute but more importantly it was good for the bottomline. Still it was with Koketso that I spent a lot of time with. We never got ample time together to really connect because I wasn’t stationed in one location but today I saw her and she embraced me with a hug, we spoke for a couple of minutes, she was enthused, the chemistry is still there, the body has matured in all the right ways, she looked good. I looked at her like a slice of cake and thought “I could eat that”.
I remember when I used to work in a call center. I hated it. It was the closest thing to slavery because I had to work 12 hours a day. Sure it was 3 days in and 3 days off but that didn’t bring me any solace – they still owned 3 days in my life, in essence they owed half of my life. But how I rationalized the whole thing was that I had to pay my fees at Varsity. See I was taking myself to school and I was focused and motivated. I had a vision. Get a job, go to school, get my degree and I am home free. Except that my arrangement wasn’t practical, I was constantly in bondage. I felt myself wither everyday. It was like I was asthmatic, I felt myself running out of air. I was cornered by everyone’s expectations. Luckily I had an escape. Her name was Kayla and she was my age. We were the youngest pair at the time. Well, technically I was the youngest because my birthday is later but she was born in the same year. Kayla was beautiful. Sure the call center had hot women but she was the hottest. She was colored, had kind eyes, slightly long hair and the most beautiful smile. She had a purity about her soul. She was radiating, almost mythical like a unicorn. She had the unique ability of charming you from a distance. You were just mesmerized by her beauty. She was soft-spoken and elegant. She was calm and reserved. She was a lady. A lot of the guys wanted her. Naturally after training, I took refuge next to her. We were supposed to pair up with experienced call center agents who would help us get settled in. Kayla herself was not that experienced, she had been working there for like 6 months. I chose the agent next to Kayla who had ample experience. I conveniently chose a counsel of women to take care of me. It was great. After a couple of weeks, I had learned everything. I took a phone right next to her. We were getting the same type of calls from customers from the same company so I thought she would be able to assist me, if I ran into some trouble. She was great, she always assisted me with a pure heart. Kayla was kind and loving. We started bonding. We shared dreams and she told me that she wanted to be a Air Hostess and travel the world in the process. I thought it was great, she had the perfect profile; beautiful, reassuring, right height, right age, good communication skills, she was perfect. We would talk all day when we were not on the phone. Me and her had a connection, we could just talk to each other and there wouldn’t be any judgments. We were emphatic towards one another. We had a mutual understanding. We liked one another. Somehow she made 12 hours seem like 9 hours, and that’s great, that’s something. People started noticing and jealously started catching on like wildfire. The older guys in the call center who were marking Kayla started being hostile towards me but it was okay, it was not under my control. Besides, I knew what it was about. I know why none of them never made progress with her. They were too aggressive and that made her defensive. Their offense game was weak. They pursued her like they were catching a train. Rapid and fast paced, there was no romance, it was a bet of who could land the hot new girl. She felt like prey, like a piece of meat, she felt objectified. None of them had a chance with her because they were too expedient. Of course, I didn’t have that problem, she liked me, a fact that made people envious. I loved the energy I got from everyone from being around her, you know, I was seen, not ignored, I was popular, cemented, legendary, I was alive and the attention validated my existence. It was not in a boastful way, it was just that, you know – natural. She was my girl. I wanted to help her get into Aviation school so I did everything I could on my side. I had websites, numbers and tuition costs and we discussed everything at great length. Nothing really crystallized but we were still really close. I had thoughts of taking her out. I looked at my budget and it really made me angry. I had to pay rent, tuition fees and buy food. The remainder of the money wasn’t enough for a good date. I also didn’t have a car so I had to think logistics. And I still couldn’t afford those Puma Ferrari shoes that I wanted. Everything compounded, I hated my job, I didn’t have time for my thoughts, school wasn’t fulfilling or challenging, I was a repressed creative, my landlord was a jerk and I couldn’t take out Kayla on a proper date. I was living what Robert Kiyosaki had warned me about, “the rat race”. This is not what Napoleon Hill taught me. I rationalized everything with school but it wasn’t enough of a motivation anymore. My reasoning was a trap. I was dying and I knew it. It was like suffocating or burning to death, it was horrific. I went for leave to really think things through and to just clear my mind. I decided; “fuck it, fuck everyone, this is my life and I’ll do what I want. I don’t need anyone’s permission to live my life. I won’t live my life with fear. Fuck Varsity, it’s trapping my life and my mind, I don’t need a piece of paper validating what I can do, I am limitless”. That’s the thing I hate about the world, we created constructs that constrict the mind from flourishing. I resigned and started doing things that I wanted like writing my screenplay, learning about Investing, starting businesses and reading books. When I left I was the best call center agent, my numbers were really good, the manager tried to get me to reconsider but it was impossible. I stopped listening to the outside world that day, I stopped trying to conform. It was the best decision of my life. 12 hours a day and I still couldn’t take Kayla out on a proper date. Why live with such lack? Surely that’s not what God intended for me.
Me, a one girl guy? Not my style. I’ve got a main chick, a mistress, and bitches who just get dick from me. For free.
The cookie connoisseur, who licks what’s in between like an Oreo, a monster, whose reach stretches farther Sesame street, dominating the game and winning like a cheat. Unbreakable code, hidden like a snake in its hole, I am in the zone, penetrating girls to their soul.
Me, a one girl guy? Forget it. I get pussy like a douche, banging from the side like bass to the sound of headboards. The lord of seduction, introducing my dick like induction, construction, building up momentum till contraptions.
Me, a one girl guy? Please. There’s plenty of fish in the ocean and I absorb into their skin like lotion. In constant motion, bewitching their hearts like a potion. A little caution, I terminate relations like abortion.
Me, a one girl guy? For you? For sure. Interested?
A good friend of mine came to me because he needed some advice. I thought “Oh, okay”. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to assist because I am not the advice type. However, I am a good listener so I was pretty sure we could come up with a solution. To assist someone who needs advice, I often use the Socratic method, that is help using framing questions, this way you think that you came up with the situation on your own because you thought for yourself. It is effective because this way no judgments are cast and you don’t give awful advice. The truth is that we already know what to do and often times we just need validation from the outside world. The art of giving good advice is getting the other person to lay out all his cards and ask questions. This way the other person is reflective and your job is done. Don’t say what you think because that’s not what the other person needs, plus your judgment is flawed in any case because you are biased and are projecting – this is not about you.
I listened. He told me about how his in love with this girl whose with this other guy but it doesn’t really matter because the girl loves him and not the guy. A love triangle, I thought. He was in trouble because there’s a power struggle in this dynamic and only one person won, the one on the top. But I didn’t say this out loud, I just merely asked “How do you know that this girl loves you?”. He responded “I just know it. I see it in her eyes. We love each other, it’s always been that way. I retorted, “how do you know?”. Finally he responded “she told me so”. I shook my head not convinced. I then asked “how many years has she been with this guy?”. He responded “About 6 years”. I let that sink in a bit and there was silence for a bit. But in my mind I thought this is a irrevocable case and an attachment style has been established. His not just fighting a mutual understanding, his fighting routines and habits, poor fellow is deluded. He filled it up by saying “But it hasn’t been a smooth 6 years and they sometimes had bad fights and separated”, I responded “Everyone has a bad patch” and he countered “Yes, but not like this, he slapped her, he beats her and his a cheat”. I responded “Okay”. I continued “What do you think of doing?”. He responded “I want to get her”. I inquired “Why don’t you?”. He responded “Because of this guy”. Confused, I asked “Why? Do you know him?”. He responded, “Yes, his close”. And so I recapped his story for him like; “She loves you even though she’s still with her partner of 6 years. She’s the object of desire in this pyramid and everyone is familiar with one another?”. I stopped and the room was quiet for a while. Then he broke the silence and asked “Why doesn’t she leave him?” he was thoughtful. I remained quiet. He put me on the spot and asked what I’d do. I wanted to be neutral so I spoke about the other guy and how I respected his 6 years. To deflect the question I made a joke saying “Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes”, that statement hit him like a snipper on the rooftop. Sorrowfully, he murmured “She’s not my girl”. I felt bad. I rolled a joint and we smoked. It was 6pm and the streets were flooded with people from work, it was peak time, prime time and Avanzas were filled to the brim on the Johnbrant street from Pan African Mall. We just sat by the side of the road and witnessed life, we were silent, we saw beautiful women walking, we saw girls who were too young but had a lot of potential, we saw children in their school uniforms walking home, we saw kids with their friends, we saw men in their overalls and boots who carried their lunch bags, just on the other street a couple of boys were playing soccer and there were roars of youthful energy, the atmosphere was vibey and busy, bells from cars and laughs from people was all we heard, cigarettes were selling like an IPO, it was beautiful and we both appreciated the scenery. Life was normal. Life was happy. Despite the cold truth, it was still a good day.
antakalipa 