All these women are the same. It’s the illusion of choice that’s confusing my niggas. They all do the same thing. They all say the same things. You can never rely on a bitch. They will break your heart and threaten you with pregnancy. They are crooked and sly. They are nothing. They are dirty. I always advice my niggas to snack and then leave. They are unworthy and uncertain like rain in winter. They are evil. They don’t use their brains. The age of information has made things worse because now there’s 6 of me and we all want the same thing. I fail to respect them because I always win. I feel too much emphasis is placed on the pussy – it’s not deep; they are all pink on the inside. Illusions are clouding my niggas judgements. You can snack any girl you want. I am not a bad guy. After all, If I just purchase a 6 pack this could be a transaction.
This is our win; thank you to everyone involved in the process. Thank you to the people who shared their knowledge in the form of books to the whole world. A big shout out to the internet, we appreciate the free videos. I was ready. I was reading on the Kuma- Sutra, female genitalia, the importance of the stimulating of the clitoris, scared sex positions and Kegel exercises. And of course the practice of knocking bitches out the park on a constant. My PC Muscles were improved and I was ready. What a great December this is turning out to be.
I met Dineo; the hot girl in high school. She was still hotter than the sun. I always wanted a second chance with her, to redeem myself, just to prove I could do it. It transpired like a movie – I wish I had captured it and made it objective for everyone to see my victory, to bask in my glory. It was at a social event, an acquaintance was the host and she was there with her friends. The mood of the ceremony was quite celebrative and festive. It was light and friendly, tranquil with no hint of hostility. The sound that graced the social was Amapiano.
I was at the social event first considering I helped with preparations for the event. She came in a bit later with her friends when the place was fuller. It was two guys and three girls, I sensed what kept the group together was a brother and sister dynamic between the friends or that they are genuinely friends or that the guys were still in the early seduction stage and in that event it was an even ground for all. I didn’t see the two guys as threats. They looked meek and inexperienced – I don’t know in which field. Dineo was so hot. Those boobs and that ass – has the perfect ass to boobs ratio. Everything is just perfect about her. Her eyes are light brown; they are so mystical. Her skin tone just light not yellow. Her hair dark brown and natural yet curly.
I had to be intelligent. When her group came to my group to greet us and all the formalities of a social event; I excused myself to the toilet so that I can avoid an interaction with her. But I know she saw me. To be honest with you, I think I panicked. My conscious mind didn’t think of that plan to go to the toilet. It was an unconscious force. But now that I was in the toilet, I needed to improvise and actually derive a plan. I didn’t have one. In the end I decided that I was going to avoid and perhaps ignore her for the whole event. It was the only logical thing to do. I was not ready to face up to her. And I couldn’t leave the event, I was a part of the hosting committee. As an astute businessman that’s inexcusable. And I couldn’t drink too much either. I don’t know. It wasn’t a good idea so I braved out the toilet and went straight to their social group and welcomed them all. I was friendly and courteous – it’s still business after all. I think they felt welcomed. I greeted Dineo and embraced her with a hug. She was so beautiful. I left and returned to my social environment. I felt good. Going to her group was a good idea. But once again, it was the unconscious force pushing me. I was never going to do that – hell no! All I felt was a burning sensation in my diaphragm and since my gut was not at its designated spot – it was difficult to parley with it. Anything could have happened – things were out of my control.
Later in the evening when I was at the bar she came up to me and requested a 6-pack. I obliged and got a bucket and filled it with ice for her convenience. And we talked. It was a good conversation, professional – we catched up and had a couple of laughs. And then it accelerated. She said she never stopped thinking about me. It was silent for a couple of seconds. But I am not stupid, I am quite intelligent and I knew where she was heading with this. I knew exactly what she wanted and I wanted it as well! I responded with a question requesting the identity of her friends. She responded, those two are brother and sister and the rest we just friends held by the fact that we live in the same location. I noticed the fullness of her responses. I looked at her body language – she was mirroring me! A fuse blew up in mind but I had to be steady. I asked her to come sit with me and that we would plenty of fun. She agreed and took the bucket with ice and beers to her friends stating that she’ll be right back. I thought I was doomed. I had no plan. But I looked around at my surroundings and I saw plenty of girls and women and it occurred to me that she was just a woman. In a typical weekend I lure 2-3 women in my nest. A soothing voice came up to me and said “relax, this is the moment you have been waiting for all your life. You are ready. Your practical examinations are excellent and the theory you reading is making you a legend in the city. Just be yourself”. “Just be yourself” it said I calmed down and relaxed. I can’t mess this one up.
Later she was at my place. I had been excellent all day. I need to cap of this day. When we were driving to my place. All I did was to picture her naked. Those tits; are they going to take me to heaven like they promise? They are so firm. I had been reading on sex and how to pleasure your partner. It advised that kissing is erotic. That it prepares the orgasms. It advised the pressure points: the neck, areas on the torso and of course boobs. I couldn’t wait to kiss and suck those boobs. It would be an experience for me. I couldn’t wait to do that. It was so important to me and my life.
I wanted to do things to her. Things that she will never forget. My intention was to pleasure her good. Riding to the crib I thought about the game plan. I am a trader and the blueprint is the most important thing – stocks taught me how to plan thoroughly. I thought about her pussy as well. Cunnilingus always makes them go crazy – I thought about eating her pussy whole. I bet her pussy is tight. But I had to be strategic about this. I can still eat her whole pussy up but I need to stimulate the clitoris first. The key is to always to keep moving your tongue. Faith and Bontle love it, they get orgasms too. A couple of seconds into sex and they are already blown away. I love it when they vibrate, it’s their way of telling me I did well. I think it’s a man’s duty to give a woman an orgasm because if men can’t do it, what then? There’s nothing men can’t do. My pumps ratio is also good. I have solid PC Muscles. I practice Kegel exercises every day and I fuck almost every day. Don’t mean to brag but I am in the level of a porn star – penetration wise, I am good. Before we even stepped in the house, I had a detailed plan. In the end it all worked out for me. Gave her orgasms over orgasms she will be back. I made sure.
2 March 2015 I had such an incredible day at the market today. My best day as a trader. I made $2400 on 6 trades in just 7 hours. Oh it was thrilling too because my stop-loses were almost triggered. I don’t know what I would have done. It was do or die. I had to recuperate loses I incurred on the last two trading days and I went above and beyond. I always advice traders to look at “Major Reversal Patterns” you know; check double tops and bottoms, check triple tops and bottoms, check for a trend with a “V- Reversal”, check for a head and shoulder trend and look at other time frames! So when my advice works for me, I don’t know I get a big head. Maybe I am the best trader in the world – my account certainly agrees. Okay maybe not the best in the world but good. Thanks to today’s exploits I have an excess of $6000 on my account that I can use for entertainment. That’s R98000 – I am feeling festive.
8 March 2015 Today was an interesting day. A normal man would have died. In the morning at round about 5:30 am Bontle comes at the crib. I wasn’t expecting her. She didn’t call. She didn’t text. She woke up one day and decided to be “spontaneous”. She woke up and decided to be a better person all of a sudden. Nobody knew about this, she was the only person that had this information. How is this my fault? She deserved today’s interaction. I am not wrong. I didn’t know. Of course, she found me with another woman. I didn’t panic. Even when she made a scene and ripped off my new sheets – sheets she purchased to be fair. I was ice cold. It was already a bad situation. She tried to corner me and asked me to choose between her and the “new girl”. I am not dumb, I am not going to commit to such a thing. Besides, I love them both. They are useful in various areas in my life. I just walked out. It was the best thing to do. This is not beyond my control. This has happened before with different girls. This is not a problem.
9 March 2015 If Bontle respected me as a man, I wouldn’t do such things. It’s her fault. She’s rude and vile sometimes. She has control issues. She’s crazy. But I love her.
15 May 2015 I was with Lerato today. She was in ripe condition. She was ready for me. She was all over me like a body rush. She enveloped me. She embraced me totally. To be honest, I wasn’t on my game. I was sloppy, slow and dry – however I did the job. Her sounds were overly over the top for the performance I put in. The whole sexual act was a folly for me. It makes me think. What else is she lying to me about?
12 November 2015 I was with Bontle today. I had a plan. It was not a good one but nonetheless a plan. I heard through the grapevine that she was organizing a baby shower for her sister. I planned to be there. Communication between me and her was non-existent since she found me in bed Faith. Secretly I was conversing with her sister – I apologized and requested her assistance and she obliged. My plan was to see her in the morning before she began with preparations for the shower and I needed her sister to grant me access in the house. She helped. At 6:00 am I was in and the house was empty; just me and her (she was still in bed sleeping).
The highlights of the heated and emotional conversation we had was; I am sorry and I was not able to control myself. She seduced me and it was just sex – not like what we have. That I love you and I choose you. That I need you in my life and that you make everything worthwhile. It was routine. It helps that she is younger. Now I just have to take her to a game reserve or somewhere exciting to complete the process. I have learned that if you can validate three things namely; self-perception, intelligence and that they are “good people” – you can do anything you want. After all, self-interest rules. It is the same tact that worked on her sister. Also go low when she goes high it has some sort of psychological effect that helps the process.
16 December 2016 BEST HEAD THIS YEAR! The women in Pretoria are incredible! I will be CUMMING soon. What a 6- pack of alcoholic brewages will do for you – it will give you a head start.
Zamokuhle (The Superior Man) 2 December 2008 He is new to us; just like how I had been in the past. That always has a seductive element. What more can I say? He’s okay.
14 February 2010 Why shouldn’t I be a bit narcissistic? I am pretty. I am hot. Life is about perspective and I have men and boys drooling over me.
14 September 2012 Why did he choose me? I did nothing to warrant or initiate this. I have my problems too. Why me? My one night out all summer. He hasn’t even tried speaking to me. And Facebook? Really? He’s too much of a boy.
5 April 2014 I am not sure about his intentions. He is too smitten. He is overly infatuated with me. I sense a lot of insecurities. I am flattered of course but I can do better. Besides the time is lost – the show goes on. But because I am a good person. I am going to give him a go. Two weeks ago, I met a guy coincidentally has the same name. He is a bit older. He is good looking not cute unlike the former.
He looks assured. He is always in a suit – men in suits make me melt. It’s a seduction thing, I just can’t get enough of them! He has businesses. He has money. He looks powerful. It’s obvious which direction I am leaning towards – it’s a no brainer. Maybe that was a bad example – it was doomed from the start. But such is the probability of us linking up.
16 March 2015 I wish he would just leave me alone. I don’t mind the attention plus it confirms I am still good, but it can be tiring. His plan just has the opposite effect. He’s fighting a losing battle. I don’t want to be with him.
18 May 2016 He just doesn’t have an off button.
18 November 2017 Mr. Insecurities strikes again. I don’t need this in my life. Besides, I kind of like his friend much better we have a history. He makes everything difficult and complicated. I have issues and problems too that’s why I am always running. Biding my time; I’ll get my time, my moment. Life is frustrating. I feel I am in a loop and I have to do the things I don’t like every day. All I want to do is watch television and sleep. The pressures of being a woman in the modern world. If he knew what I have been through, he wouldn’t like me as much. He would stay away. He would leave. He would stop loving me. I am pure in his eyes. I don’t want to tarnish that. He thinks I am perfect.
21 February 2018 He apologized for his outbreak – his moment of madness. Like “give me a chance”, “I love you” get the fuck away with that. He makes me nervous like what do you want from me? I am not who you think I am, get away, get away! I wish he would just go away. I don’t know why I have his number saved on my phone. I don’t know why I respond to his messages. I don’t know why I send him my best pictures. He appreciates them (the pictures), goes crazy for them, sends a million emoji’s because of them – my pictures genuinely make him happy. He makes me feel good.
26 July 2018 For my birthday he bought me book about food and sent it over the internet. It was an eBook, it was sweet. He said that he remembered a moment in high school when I wanted to change the school’s tuck-shop menu and that lead him to purchase a book about food. I appreciate the sentiment and the thought. Last year for my birthday, he wanted to take me out. In nicely constructed paragraphs he politely asked me out. I couldn’t say no – he knew when my birthday was; that’s nice. I agreed but I needed to be strategic. I postponed on the last day to take him off his stride. He was adamant and determined to see me so we had to postpone for the following week. I knew he wouldn’t take his foot off the pedal so this time I had to see him. It almost didn’t happen because I had errands to run in town but he patiently wanted for me and we had a good time. Overall, I had a great birthday!
12 September 2018 I have started talking with an old friend of mine. He’s someone I had a crush on. It started when we were young. The element of time is making the seductive process stronger as I now feel intoxicated by him. It all started at the tender age of 11, we were both in a new environment – a new school to further develop ourselves and minds. We were both on a neutral platform so we linked and communicated with one another with greater ease. Because he was also new, he was one of the first students I knew. And then he switched schools once again and he was gone. I met him 2 years later in high school and he still looked good. Another two years apart and we were in the same class. That’s when our love affair commenced. You see it’s a great love affair bonded by destiny and the Universe. We just never got the timing right but it could still happen. I am still young and pretty and his just amazing. You see it in his posts his strong, his radiant, durable, assured and everything is just going right for him. He comes from a good family with good values and principles. He has money. He has travelled the world and women find him irresistible. He’s amazing!
15 September 2018 I want him. I love him. I just can’t stop thinking about him. My whole structure of being is filled with desire for another man. How do I get his attention? How do I make him go crazy with desire?
26 September 2018 He’s my best friend, my confidant. I tell him everything.
Babygirl I apologize for everything. I lacked the fundamental skill of observation. I lacked empathy and sympathy. I am a bad person. I had a passive mind and it was fixed blaming you. Love frustrates me. I often think how many people would know love if the word didn’t exist. Society and popular culture keeps forcing it down my throat – and I don’t like their version. I am frustrated by everything. The world keeps implementing gender neutral policies and I don’t know what they mean for future generations so I often feel marginalized. I don’t mean the disrespectful comments, I am sorry. I should know better, I was raised better than that. The truth is that I wouldn’t manage a day in your heels. It’s hard. I would fall on my face. You do it with style and grace in a zoo filled with cobras, mountain lions and vultures. They all want a piece of you like the middle circle in a dart game – the bullseye! In the end, they all miss. They miss because you were never the target. Self- inspection is the target and they shoot wide and it shows because they don’t know themselves. I too shot wide.
The world is such a tricky and dangerous maze for you. If you somehow escape your immediate family there’s still the external world to contend with. Figures with authority tend to put fingers and parts of themselves into you like the process of validating a ticket in a soccer game and it’s unfair because you’re not the gate. Why must your locks be picked? I get so angry when I reflect because you get to live with the scars. Ocean deep scars that can never be diluted. So the only thing to do is to repress. Just maybe you take pictures and selfies to avoid the horrors of your mind. Like demons they possess the sober mind, that’s why you need social media – it’s therapeutic; the likes say you are loved and I agree.
Babygirl, I don’t know how you handle the pressures of the world. The standard of beauty keeps changing like waves and you are still a classic like Converse “All-Stars”. After all, you need to bait and seduce men. A man who can take care of you and all your needs. We are not getting any younger and time is unfortunately not on our side. That’s why you can never wear too much make- up. The nails and hair need to be up-to-date too, those are the things that matter most. They lure men – that and short skirts. Not that you need a man but a family gives life purpose. Your mother – that bitch, is always on the fence barking orders and making deadlines regarding your life. How can you predict the day you’ll fall in love? They never call back even with short skirts and make-up. They void your attempts like nothing is better. I never used to understand your frustrations but I now do. It’s like I am alone and it’s not a choice but rather the environment and universe condemning me to that reality. My biological clock is ticking while my peers are settling down and starting families. I have options but they are not viable. Maybe I should rekindle old relations to widen my scope. The lenses I have now show me a very blurry and foggy perspective of the future. My options are being eliminated like hitmen on the roof. My anxiety levels are high as a plane on cruise control. The world has killed my dreams. I am not as pretty as I used to be. I used to get a lot of attention from men but now, not so much. The world discarded me like last week’s newspaper. What am I supposed to do?
Babygirl, I am sorry for insinuating that you have a bad character and questionable values. For most of us we play the hand we have been dealt and hope for the best. Why should conditions and variables be different for you? I was jealous and smitten. With just everything in my fiber, I wanted to be with you. You wanted to be with someone else, someone with better resources who can take care of what’s primary. It was do or die for you – I have to respect that. It’s not your fault I am poor. I just wish I were the object of your lust.
Babygirl, I will do better. I will try for you. I have been so inconsiderate that I am embarrassed. Love consumes and envy is admitting to yourself that you are inadequate and it’s painful. I was attacked by both love and envy simultaneously. My mind with all of its cognition functions couldn’t decode all that information. I crashed. I didn’t mean to relegate you to a world of taking selfies and sharing memes – you are more than that. I get critical of women because of my past. I was with a girl who told her parents that she had a job in the big city – little did I know, I was the job.
I read somewhere that the mind interprets dreams and reality the same way and I was really ecstatic! I couldn’t wait to get to sleep because that’s the only time I get to be with you. Please take care of yourself
Sticks and stones can break bones but words alone can’t break you. I agree with the lead, that’s a false assertion. Words have the ability to cripple your soul, they matter, it’s how we create our reality. Positive words are better and lighter than the negative ones. Negative words are heavy and weigh you down. I loved the show, it’s powerful, philosophical and sheds a light on the human condition. We are all broken and that’s okay because we can be fixed and made better. Broken things have personality and scars tell a story, that’s how you know you have lived. Kintsugi, a Japanese custom that mounts together broken things with gold to show their character and resilience is central to the play’s message and tone. Broken things can be more valuable than those that don’t have a blemish, that’s the idea of art, renewal and rebirth. You don’t throw away something because it’s broken, you fix it and make it truly yours, you renew it and give it personality. That’s what the lead did when he changed his broken flask into a vase, he took the broken insides of the flask and stuck them outside, the end result is beautiful as the flask is changed into a vase that reflects like a mirror. Of course collecting broken things makes you a hoarder and there’s something psychological about being a hoarder. You can’t let go, you think you can fix, control and restore things back to the way they were or better, you trapped in a loop, you don’t want to grow up. We see this from the lead, he hasn’t been right since his father left, his mother too. He has this yearning to fix it, restore things to how they were because deep down he’s broken. This brokenness manifests as a person being a hoarder of broken things. That’s how artists are born, Kintsugi, and it’s this brokenness that makes them invaluable and beautiful because they capture the world in a way that we can feel. Life is a feeling process and broken things have felt. We are all broken, we think we can fix and control life when in actual fact the Universe is indifferent to us and our whims, but we do it anyways because it’s life and we do have a degree of control, so we create memories, moments, art, because that is what the human condition is all about. It’s easy to throw away things because it rids you off the responsibility but you fail to appreciate the beauty of that thing, everything has soul, beauty and it is in the way that your frame your words that will dictate what you see.
The show touched me, I loved it! I also learned about Japanese philosophy, Kintsugi, will stay with me beyond today, I will take it with me all my life. Amazing performer Cara Roberts is, so childlike, sweet and innocent. The cape, the flying, inquisitiveness, very realistic and believable. Loved the acting, simply put unbelievable! The facial expressions, mannerisms, how she delivered her words, how she made use of the stage, it was a complete performance. She was captivating, she had the crowds attention the whole time, we all cared what she had to say, she commanded the stage, she had real energy, she brought life and meaning to those words, enthusiasm beamed from out of her, she was amazing. A big credit to the writer and director of the show Micheal Taylor-Broderick, perfection is my humble opinion. The lighting was perfect, best suited for an intimate crowd. That was a great show, powerful, that last scene with the robot and the sleeping boy was the best ending ever! Another great one Sam, thank you. Congratulations to the whole team and a deserved standing ovation.
Well, I didn’t expect that, so many twists and turns. I really thought Mr. Vole was innocent, I thought he was set up for sure. He pleaded his case with defiance. There’s no ways he could have murdered Mrs. French in cold blood, she was his friend. So what he inherited all her money and was looking at boats the week before her death. These things happen, besides death comes for all of us. Yes, Mr. Vole is a young handsome man with his whole life ahead, is unemployed and had everything to gain from Mrs. French’s death but it’s lazy to label him a murderer. He could have been framed. I was suspicious of everyone earlier in the play. Myself and the gentleman sitting next to me were not convinced of the charge brought against Mr. Vole and when his devoted wife Romaine, was called up as a witness for the prosecution, the alarm bells rang louder. The beautiful foreign girl lied to the jury and was a poor alibi. Instead of helping her husband, she made things worse! She fabricated details whilst his husband was protesting. I felt sorry for Mr. Vole, he vehemently protested his innocence, he was sweating, he was lively, active, on his feet, letting the jury know that he did not kill Mrs. French. That’s when I knew that he was innocent and that it was his wife Romaine who had murdered Mrs. French, the gentleman next to me concurred. Romaine played by the super talented Sharon Spiegel-Wagner is clearly a femme fatale, she oozes sexuality, is dressed in red and when we are first introduced to her, smoke is released from the stage and she makes her grand entrance, music in the background and she takes her sweet time walking. She’s a siren, a real work of art, it’s easy to see why “Leonard kisses the ground she walks on”. She strikes me as the murderer because of the fact that she’s a foreigner and her dubious character. It’s also revealed that she is not even married to Mr. Vole, she’s actually a Helm, still married to her husband living in Belgium. I disliked Romaine more and more as the play went on, a big cognitive dissonance. Sir. Wilfrid played by Graham Hopkins and his junior counsel John Mayhew played by Craig Jackson work exceedingly hard to prove Mr. Voles innocence. They succeed as the jury deliver their verdict – NOT GUILTY! But there’s a twist, it turns out he was guilty and his wife knew, she protected him and fabricated evidence to get him out of the hook earning charges of perjury in the process. That’s not all, it turns out Mr. Vole has a blonde mistress she was planning to elope with, leaving Romaine behind. In a heated exchanged, Romaine stabs and kills his husband. All this happens while still in court with Sir. Wilfrid and his assistant watching in the distance. So in addition to her perjury charge, Romaine will also be trialed for the murder of her husband Leonard Vole.
Unbelievable show! I didn’t know where to look, what to expect. Shocking! Thriller! Drama! Suspense! Agatha Christie is a master, great show. Respect to Graham Hopkins, a true legend, his acting was a masterclass, how he delivers his words, the accent, his posture, mannerisms and stature, it was his show, everything revolved around him, he killed it! Shout-out Peter Terry who plays Mr. Justice Wainwright and Mike Huff as Mr. Myers.
I thought the show had Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” influence. It’s centers around the same topics, murder and human nature. It’s clear I don’t have a clear understanding of both, I thought Mr. Vole was innocent despite the overwhelming evidence against him. Dostoevsky’s character Raskolnikov, doesn’t murder to inherit a fortune, he murders in cold blood because he is vile, ugly and because he can. He murders because he is in a position of power over the elderly woman, because he doesn’t see the use of the elderly woman living, because God won’t stop him. Dostoevsky documents Raskolnikov’s psyche, he is in a mess, he is haunted, he can’t sleep, he loses weight, he is sick, he is overwhelmed with guilt – the magistrate in charge of murders and equipped with a shrewd understanding of criminal psychology sees all of this, he torments him with his appearance, questions, he sees right through him. Ultimately Raskolnikov confesses and hands himself over. Leonard Vole didn’t exhibit all of this behavior, could he be a sociopath? Stories like this teach you a lot about human nature, it’s interesting to contrast them. “Witness For The Prosecution” is a thought-provoking show that depicts how absurd the human condition is, Albert Camus would be so proud.
I am not going to act like Sharon Spiegel-Wagner isn’t my Achilles heel, she’s the best and she delivered yet again. If I had my way, I’d see her every day. She’s an incredible, amazing, beautiful, talented woman and the show is exhibit A. She performs at a high level and everyone shines. Graham Hopkins and Craig Jackson are the pulse, they hold the show together, some of the shows best dialogue comes from them, they have amazing chemistry and synergy. Greta, played by Dianne Simpson was one of my favorite characters, she was amazing and funny. Brett Kruger as Leonard Vole is excellent. The show was well-written, the performers were amazing and the direction and lighting perfect. The lighting and smoke was pretty awesome! It’s an experience, I felt like I was in that courtroom. I loved that the set was not fixed, it kept on changing, that was appealing to my eyes and it helped with the mood that the director tried to evoke and convey. Some actors committed to double shifts, playing more than one character, wow, the mastery you have to achieve to do that, unbelievable craftsmanship. Congratulations to Alan Swerdlow and the whole team for a great, great show and a deserved standing ovation!
After “Dress Code” things went downsouth for me. It was the girls who kept me relevant for a month, they loved me. They made it hard for Daphne to get rid of me. They would always shower me with gifts, kisses and hugs. Honestly it was like heaven, I felt like I was floating walking on clouds, I was all soft inside, I was intoxicated by them, I was in awe of their talent, I loved them. I did everything above and beyond to please them, I treated them like royalty, like the stars they were, with reverence and awe. I executed every request with efficiency and care. The stage was spotless before the show and the mirrors reflected like diamonds. Cliff’s (Piano guy) water was iced and always on time and on queue before the show. I was professional, courteous, smelled good and dressed with real personality. I was the eye of God who kept watch over everything and addressed every significant or insignificant thing that had the power to affect the tone of the show. It was all about excellence. They were very happy with me. The girls flooded Daphne’s email with compliments about me, she was elated and she opened her purse for me. I accepted but it was never about the money. Quite clearly it was the girls who kept me in the theatre for that long, the staff at the theatre only needed someone to assist for 2-3 day’s tops. “Move in” day can be tough and time consuming as you welcome a new act to the theatre, sets need to be on the stage and it requires planning and thinking. There’s also the issue of the sound and lights, they need to be programmed to the system. Without the sound and lights, you don’t have a show. It’s just a casual job and the guys who help out do their two days and it’s done. A lot of the times the theatre uses young students who are keen to learn about theatre to help out. It’s a win for both sides, the student learns and gets practical and the theatre don’t have to pay for labor. That considered, I stayed for a month! I was also the usher for the girls show and generally everybody liked me and that’s the problem, I was magnetic, likeable and had a ton of charisma, illuminating the place and setting the mood for the show – I was too perfect. Inevitably envy and jealousy sets in and I became a target. Human nature and narcissistic tendencies, I refrained from responding and reacting, I observed like a bystander and was amused by the human condition. I knew what caused the hysteria, mainly that I was too amazing and I couldn’t help myself. I had no flaw, I came early for work, had a lot of enthusiasm, executed every task with perfection and everybody loved me. Around the 3rd week Daphne called me to her office and took my particulars. She asked what I was good at, education, skills and talents and so I shared. We talked for a while and she said she wished she had something for me. Her roster was full. I acknowledged but I was just there for the love. After that meeting I definitely felt the room getting smaller, it was like she was pushing me out but life went on and I got more responsibilities. On the last day of “The Dress Code” as we were clearing the stage, I asked the director “Alan Swerdlow” for the script, I wanted it for it’s format, structure and I was really in love with the writing, it was witty, urban and well written. I also wanted to learn the skill of writing scripts for theatre. Alan liked my energy and appreciated everything I did for the girls, he gave it to me. After knockoff, Reginah from her car saw me from afar with the script and asked “Are you holding a script?”. I walked to her vehicle and replied “Yes”. She continued “You are not supposed to have that”, to which I replied “The director gave me the script”. She replied “No, you are not supposed to!”, I countered “But I want it”, I had the script in my hands. She started having a narcissistic fit and threw tantrums wanting to get out of the car. I watched her attempts to bully me off the script and I walked away from the scene with the script in hand. I left her shouting alone, she was wasting my time. It’s my fault, I encouraged her behavior hoping it would dissipate but she only got more controlling and overbearing, it was time for a receipt. As I was walking away, she shouted “Don’t come back on Tuesday”. It was the same Reginah who took 33% of my pay. She didn’t ask, she just took it in a power move. After “The Dress Code” Move In, Daphne delegated the task of paying me to her. She called me into a room, reached into her pocket and took out R300, gave me R200 and took the R100 stating that she needed it more and that she’d pay me back, she never did. I always resented that action, it was like she was entitled to my pay. I deserved the full R300! She didn’t ask me, if she had I would have given it to her, she took all the power away from me and took it! I judged her character that day and a receipt was definitely on the cards – she was going to respect me!
I defied her and came back on Tuesday. There was no way I was missing “Vincent’s” Move In. I wanted to help with the production, I had been anticipating it for quite some time and luckily, I still had Daphne, she was reasonable, she’d see things my way. When I got to the theatre Reginah isolated me from the team and instructed me to wait for Daphne so we can discuss this script issue. In an act of power, she brought in a student to take my place. Gaslighting, she was downplaying my importance to the theatre, communicating that I was inferior and disposable. I saw that for what it was – insecurity. Everybody loved me and it was warranted, I was a hard worker. I wasn’t concerned, I was fine with any outcome, I stood by my decision to walk away with the script that night, I simply wanted it more, if not for the content then the hopeful connections it had the power to grant me. Daphne came in and we discussed the case. Reginah presented her inaccurate version, filled with slander and smear campaigns in attempts to get me to react. It was just pure lies concocted by her imagination. She was vicious, disagreeable and incoherent, a blind man could see that she was attacking me. She wanted to control me so much that she lost control. I was calm. I presented my case and took responsibility for taking the script and as anticipated, Daphne understood. I went back to the team and helped with the production of “Vincent”, flirting with my female student replacement in the process. In no time my replacement was hooked and mesmerized by my aura. She too was on my side. This was definitely not in Reginah’s plans. I survived but hostilities were brewing. “Vincent” was a success and my replacement stopped coming to the theatre so I reigned. I understand human nature and I realize I was a missed hit, I know a target is still on my back, so I decided to leave on my own terms before things spiraled out of control, I’ll be back later, when things are calmer, when I am in control.
I came back 3 weeks later and everybody welcomed me back with open arms, the script issue was all in the past, they were just so happy to see me. It was the girls who kept me relevant for a month, they loved me and I love them forever.
I am a cool guy, I ain’t got beef with anyone. I serve up what you give out. If you treat me good and with respect you’ll receive that a thousand fold, but if you an asshole I am happy to dish out shit. No excuses, no privileges, control yourself. I am a pro at your passive aggressive antics – what? Did you honestly think that you were smarter than everybody else? Funny guy, out of sync, you ain’t shit. I see through disguises too, masks can’t fool real eyes. If you want beef I am happy to serve it on a platter. If you organizing a hit, make sure it sticks cause if you botch it, I am coming for your soul. I am tired of being humble, I am the greatest of all time, come close and I’ll show you, anytime, any place. Receipts, receipts, receipts I am happy to reflect your tastes. If you want a battle, I am happy to oppose you. Words don’t count, it’s your actions that are gold. I am a fucked up person too and I am ready to exercise my repressions. Receipts, apologies don’t mean much prepare yourself for my comeback. I hold grudges, I never forget and I am coming for your ass. Receipts, don’t start wars you can’t finish. No negotiations, no treaties, everything will end up in fire and smoke. Cause I don’t give a shit, I am narcissistic, grandiose, egotistic, irrational and envious, so please give me an opportunity to exercise my nature. Receipts, cross the line please, I am begging you! Disrespect me, slander me, make me the scapegoat and I’ll show you why I am the goat. Receipts, receipts, receipts you on an imaginary pedestal, time to take you down and humble ya. Receipts, cause I also don’t care, I am after power, I am merely a reflection of you.
antakalipa 