I see all your pretensions and theatricalies, staged with meticulous acting and false modesty, masked in deceits that hide your true identity like a VPN. I know you’re a pretender. A bystander. I know you’re the one spreading rumors, tarnishing my name like a slander.
I know the humorous stories that you tell, Mr. Comedian, Kevin Hart, “Laugh at my pain”, I hear everyone is amused. Why wouldn’t I be happy for you, I am bemused.
My fingers are crossed like a Christian, I hope you make it. I love your crowd and how they reciprocating your energy, you’re in sync like a Mexican wave. Timid with your little skirts hiding in the cave. Bitches!
I know you are intimidated by my greatness and you pray for my downfall like a drought. The sky is clear and I am still reigning. I see your insincere smiles and back handed comments. Moving and inhabiting my space like a comet.
You tell on yourself like a mirror reflecting all your fears and insecurities. You lack an inner campus and that’s just one of your propensities. I know, I reside in your mind rent free like a landlord, struggling to straighten me out like a phone cord, listen, press record, spoiler alert, I win, you might as well be reborn. Bitches!
I know, I know, you worship the land I walk on. Imitate my style and would like my life for a mile.
I know, I am everything you yearn to be. I know I haunt your conscious reality. I know you wanna be me. Silence is not weakness, I see everything like big brother, trust me, I know.
The different smiles are all ingrained in my psyche. Life isn’t about your senses, that’s deception, stay woke.
There’s a lot we don’t know and even that I know. Slow down fella, calm down, I know.
I am amazing, but control your emotions.
Just admire, compliment and let things be, move along, just a fabrication of reality.
You can’t Backstab me, I have things sorted, I am the best, it takes the best to beat me.
Just know when I strike, it’s game over. No chance, I wipe you out.
Let’s see how you play your cards. Control yourself fella, calm down, let’s be professionals, its okay, we can let this discipate into the sparks of life.
But it’s still on record, And I see you, I remember.
My son got born earlier in the morning and I am ecstatic. He is a gift from my ancestors and the Universe. I treasure him. He is my gold in a world that’s been digitized; valuable, tangible, priceless. It’s like falling in love for the first time, I am in la, la, land, heaven, a place of pure bliss devoid of the construct of time. I’ve never felt love quite like this, it’s like I am floating on butterflies through the clouds of the light blue sky. He makes me believe in miracles. There is a God, – he is proof, a blessing. I am thankful and grateful for this opportunity. I will teach him everything I know with an open heart and a lot of love. I will guide him. Help strengthen him to make sure he is the great man destiny intended. I’ll teach him about business and wealth creation. I was lucky I was broke and built an empire out of nothing. Being broke is experiencing your own mortality, it is being vulnerable and helpless to effect change or influence outside stimuli, that’s why I worked so hard to be rich, to have the illusion of immortality, to be invincible. You’ll be invincible from the start, girls are going to be sending you pictures captioned “you could tear this up”- I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ll teach him about the importance of having an inner scorecard and not one based on external factors. Don’t claim to be anyone you’re not. Love yourself unconditionally. Respect everyone and beware of placing too much value on material things because they end up owning you, depriving you of your peace and happiness. When you say you are going to do something, do it, no excuses, be a man of your word my son. I’ll teach him about girls and women. True, they are an enigma and I don’t know much about their motivations and thought patterns. They are truly a strange species, unpredictable, highly volitile, sometimes unstable, frightening and devastating like a natural disaster. They are difficult to assess and understand, maybe they really are from Venus and us from Mars, it would certainly explain why it’s inhospitable for man; too much chaos presided, women can’t co-exist with one another and I don’t mean to boast but man is returning to Mars. Mars is a great place filled giant screens that showcase football and other sports daily, the home of Elon Musk, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos, a place of sport cars and super sleek, fast Teslas, pool tables, infinite alcohol and drugs, no tough decisions, no responsibilities and no circumstances. A place of Goodfellas like Scorsese and De Niro but no death, just collaboration, a brotherhood and positive energy.
But in planet Earth, women are useful as you will soon experience. For one they register and process large quantities of data faster and more efficiently. This is important in the matters of life and death, you need a strong counsel. The trick is just to love and accept them as they are, don’t try to understand them or assert your will on them, understand that disaster might strike at anytime and accept reality for what it is – I think that’s what God intended. Just love them because even with all their uncertainties, they are the most valuable species in the whole Universe, they make life worthwhile, they are the nurturers of life. I’ll give you all the information I’ve attained from my interactions with them. I suggest you seek consultation from other wise men who will also share their experiences and knowledge, this will give you a more wholistic picture. I can’t guarantee concise data regarding women my son, no man can, we are from Mars and they are from Venus.
Of course, there’s this issue of the Oedipus Complex. I suspect there will be some hostility between me and you. You want to possess your mother (my woman) and you are rightly entitled to her. I won’t oppose you son, for the first few months, she is all yours. I will refrain from all acts of jealousy. I know you will appreciate those tits more than anything in the world. Your father is a genius, a visionary and I chose those tits for you. I qualified and discarded a lot of applicants for you to have those perfect tits. That’s my early gift to you because I love you so much. Enjoy them, take your time, don’t rush to get old, drive slow and enjoy the scenery and sensations. Those are our tits, my son, at least for now.
If I could just see Faith just one last time. Yes, definitely in my top 5. I met her through a friend. Easily the greatest pass of all time. Thank you mpinch, I am eternally grateful. I really needed that pass. It was difficult with Faith. I never would have gotten that close to her without my boy. It was impossible. What made Faith a mission was the fact that she didn’t live in Gomora, she came here to visit her grandparents. She was a cheese-girl. She grew up here in Gomora and that’s how my boy knew her. When they were younger, they had this kids romance thing. I first saw Faith in 2010, I remember it was game day and Argentina was playing Nigeria. Argentina won courtesy of a Heinze header in the 6th minute. I wasn’t particularly impressed with that performance. Messi or Higuain didn’t score and I expected better. After the game I went out to get some air and there I saw her. It was as if time stopped for a while, everything proceeded in slow motion. It was like I was in a Scorsese movie looking at the girl of my dreams. She was absolutely perfect. She had a million dollar body. Great ass, good thigh to ass ratio. Flat stomach, she was fit like Serena Williams. Yellow bone in complexion. She had frickles on her face. That day she had just done her hair so she was brand new. She was a stunna! I remember looking at her and thinking “Nah, not today, Argentina had a bad game. Messi didn’t score. I can’t do anything today, I am useless”. Of course, I was rationalizing the whole situation. The truth is that heartburn set in and I didn’t think I’d be able to talk to her. What was I going to say to her? After that I always thought about her, thinking about how I missed a great chance and how I’d do anything for another chance. It was a while since I saw here again, I think I saw her again after a year. I was with my boy and it was like 8pm and we saw Faith walking with her friend. I flipped, I was like “Yoh mfana, here’s this girl again”. The showoff enquired “You mean her?” and I said “Yes, do you know her”. He said “Sure, follow me.” I couldn’t believe my luck. We approached the two girls and hey what do you know he did know her. We talked and we exchanged names. Mxit was a dying technology but I knew that I’d be able to get Faith’s number indirectly through that medium. So I asked and she gave it to me. I also asked her friends number for some diversion. The whole interaction needed to be neutral. I deleted the friends number when I got home and started work on Faith. We started chatting on Mxit and it was good for a while, so we took things to the next level and went to Whatsapp. I am really not a social media guy so it was all for her. I asked to see her in the flesh and I told her that I liked her and gradually things started happening. We spent a lot of time together when she came visiting. She made my heart beat like bass. We would go on dates. It was great. On the second date I screwed up, I don’t know why I did that. I kept talking about this girl I had a crush on in Primary who attended school with her. The girl I was referring to was a stunna and Faith knew her even though she down played it. Next thing I heard was how she didn’t like how I spoke because used a lot of “Tsotsi taal” in my language like “Why don’t you speak properly?”. I was confused but I realized I was trouble like “that’s how I talk, I can’t change”. She hinted I was too ghetto for her. She started drifting away from me. The more she pulled back, the more I advanced. It didn’t look good. I came across as needy and insecure. I ended up letting her go. Lesson learned never talk about another girl when you are with a prospective. It’s a simple one, I don’t know how I missed that one. I wanted to make her insecure, it backfired; a fools failed attempt. I did some Introspection. Man, Faith was great, she was beautiful, smart, had a great sense of humor, banging body and her laugh was incredible. She made me feel like Superman every time she laughed at my jokes. She was top quality.
I remember when I used to work in a call center. I hated it. It was the closest thing to slavery because I had to work 12 hours a day. Sure it was 3 days in and 3 days off but that didn’t bring me any solace – they still owned 3 days in my life, in essence they owed half of my life. But how I rationalized the whole thing was that I had to pay my fees at Varsity. See I was taking myself to school and I was focused and motivated. I had a vision. Get a job, go to school, get my degree and I am home free. Except that my arrangement wasn’t practical, I was constantly in bondage. I felt myself wither everyday. It was like I was asthmatic, I felt myself running out of air. I was cornered by everyone’s expectations. Luckily I had an escape. Her name was Kayla and she was my age. We were the youngest pair at the time. Well, technically I was the youngest because my birthday is later but she was born in the same year. Kayla was beautiful. Sure the call center had hot women but she was the hottest. She was colored, had kind eyes, slightly long hair and the most beautiful smile. She had a purity about her soul. She was radiating, almost mythical like a unicorn. She had the unique ability of charming you from a distance. You were just mesmerized by her beauty. She was soft-spoken and elegant. She was calm and reserved. She was a lady. A lot of the guys wanted her. Naturally after training, I took refuge next to her. We were supposed to pair up with experienced call center agents who would help us get settled in. Kayla herself was not that experienced, she had been working there for like 6 months. I chose the agent next to Kayla who had ample experience. I conveniently chose a counsel of women to take care of me. It was great. After a couple of weeks, I had learned everything. I took a phone right next to her. We were getting the same type of calls from customers from the same company so I thought she would be able to assist me, if I ran into some trouble. She was great, she always assisted me with a pure heart. Kayla was kind and loving. We started bonding. We shared dreams and she told me that she wanted to be a Air Hostess and travel the world in the process. I thought it was great, she had the perfect profile; beautiful, reassuring, right height, right age, good communication skills, she was perfect. We would talk all day when we were not on the phone. Me and her had a connection, we could just talk to each other and there wouldn’t be any judgments. We were emphatic towards one another. We had a mutual understanding. We liked one another. Somehow she made 12 hours seem like 9 hours, and that’s great, that’s something. People started noticing and jealously started catching on like wildfire. The older guys in the call center who were marking Kayla started being hostile towards me but it was okay, it was not under my control. Besides, I knew what it was about. I know why none of them never made progress with her. They were too aggressive and that made her defensive. Their offense game was weak. They pursued her like they were catching a train. Rapid and fast paced, there was no romance, it was a bet of who could land the hot new girl. She felt like prey, like a piece of meat, she felt objectified. None of them had a chance with her because they were too expedient. Of course, I didn’t have that problem, she liked me, a fact that made people envious. I loved the energy I got from everyone from being around her, you know, I was seen, not ignored, I was popular, cemented, legendary, I was alive and the attention validated my existence. It was not in a boastful way, it was just that, you know – natural. She was my girl. I wanted to help her get into Aviation school so I did everything I could on my side. I had websites, numbers and tuition costs and we discussed everything at great length. Nothing really crystallized but we were still really close. I had thoughts of taking her out. I looked at my budget and it really made me angry. I had to pay rent, tuition fees and buy food. The remainder of the money wasn’t enough for a good date. I also didn’t have a car so I had to think logistics. And I still couldn’t afford those Puma Ferrari shoes that I wanted. Everything compounded, I hated my job, I didn’t have time for my thoughts, school wasn’t fulfilling or challenging, I was a repressed creative, my landlord was a jerk and I couldn’t take out Kayla on a proper date. I was living what Robert Kiyosaki had warned me about, “the rat race”. This is not what Napoleon Hill taught me. I rationalized everything with school but it wasn’t enough of a motivation anymore. My reasoning was a trap. I was dying and I knew it. It was like suffocating or burning to death, it was horrific. I went for leave to really think things through and to just clear my mind. I decided; “fuck it, fuck everyone, this is my life and I’ll do what I want. I don’t need anyone’s permission to live my life. I won’t live my life with fear. Fuck Varsity, it’s trapping my life and my mind, I don’t need a piece of paper validating what I can do, I am limitless”. That’s the thing I hate about the world, we created constructs that constrict the mind from flourishing. I resigned and started doing things that I wanted like writing my screenplay, learning about Investing, starting businesses and reading books. When I left I was the best call center agent, my numbers were really good, the manager tried to get me to reconsider but it was impossible. I stopped listening to the outside world that day, I stopped trying to conform. It was the best decision of my life. 12 hours a day and I still couldn’t take Kayla out on a proper date. Why live with such lack? Surely that’s not what God intended for me.
A good friend of mine came to me because he needed some advice. I thought “Oh, okay”. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to assist because I am not the advice type. However, I am a good listener so I was pretty sure we could come up with a solution. To assist someone who needs advice, I often use the Socratic method, that is help using framing questions, this way you think that you came up with the situation on your own because you thought for yourself. It is effective because this way no judgments are cast and you don’t give awful advice. The truth is that we already know what to do and often times we just need validation from the outside world. The art of giving good advice is getting the other person to lay out all his cards and ask questions. This way the other person is reflective and your job is done. Don’t say what you think because that’s not what the other person needs, plus your judgment is flawed in any case because you are biased and are projecting – this is not about you.
I listened. He told me about how his in love with this girl whose with this other guy but it doesn’t really matter because the girl loves him and not the guy. A love triangle, I thought. He was in trouble because there’s a power struggle in this dynamic and only one person won, the one on the top. But I didn’t say this out loud, I just merely asked “How do you know that this girl loves you?”. He responded “I just know it. I see it in her eyes. We love each other, it’s always been that way. I retorted, “how do you know?”. Finally he responded “she told me so”. I shook my head not convinced. I then asked “how many years has she been with this guy?”. He responded “About 6 years”. I let that sink in a bit and there was silence for a bit. But in my mind I thought this is a irrevocable case and an attachment style has been established. His not just fighting a mutual understanding, his fighting routines and habits, poor fellow is deluded. He filled it up by saying “But it hasn’t been a smooth 6 years and they sometimes had bad fights and separated”, I responded “Everyone has a bad patch” and he countered “Yes, but not like this, he slapped her, he beats her and his a cheat”. I responded “Okay”. I continued “What do you think of doing?”. He responded “I want to get her”. I inquired “Why don’t you?”. He responded “Because of this guy”. Confused, I asked “Why? Do you know him?”. He responded, “Yes, his close”. And so I recapped his story for him like; “She loves you even though she’s still with her partner of 6 years. She’s the object of desire in this pyramid and everyone is familiar with one another?”. I stopped and the room was quiet for a while. Then he broke the silence and asked “Why doesn’t she leave him?” he was thoughtful. I remained quiet. He put me on the spot and asked what I’d do. I wanted to be neutral so I spoke about the other guy and how I respected his 6 years. To deflect the question I made a joke saying “Avoid stepping into a great man’s shoes”, that statement hit him like a snipper on the rooftop. Sorrowfully, he murmured “She’s not my girl”. I felt bad. I rolled a joint and we smoked. It was 6pm and the streets were flooded with people from work, it was peak time, prime time and Avanzas were filled to the brim on the Johnbrant street from Pan African Mall. We just sat by the side of the road and witnessed life, we were silent, we saw beautiful women walking, we saw girls who were too young but had a lot of potential, we saw children in their school uniforms walking home, we saw kids with their friends, we saw men in their overalls and boots who carried their lunch bags, just on the other street a couple of boys were playing soccer and there were roars of youthful energy, the atmosphere was vibey and busy, bells from cars and laughs from people was all we heard, cigarettes were selling like an IPO, it was beautiful and we both appreciated the scenery. Life was normal. Life was happy. Despite the cold truth, it was still a good day.
If you had to, who would you banish from the confines of your mind. Who would you completely erase from your subconscious mind? If you didn’t meet them, would your life be better? Would the decision alter the trajectory and quality of your life? Would you then find the urge to follow your dreams? To make the best out of every moment you are handed. Are you willing to start afresh, to start anew and this time on your own terms and conditions? Would that make your happy? Who do you wish you never met? Is it your boyfriend? Is he boring and emotionally unavailable? Is it your girlfriend? Is she needy and insecure? Is it your friends and the lifestyle you have chosen? Is it your mistress and her crazy antics and unpredictable behavior? Who do you want to off like a button and live in an enlightened state. An illuminated state where you realize the importance of orientating yourself to your dreams and goals. You are the most important thing in all of existence and your livelihood and state of consciousness is paramount. Who would you cast out like a demon and liberate your mind. Which neural connections would you sever in order to construct better pathways? Pathways that enhance existence and lead to self-realization. Who do you need to relegate in the recess of the dark abyss to maintain order in your life? Who do you need to forget, to discard like rotten fish. Whose ordour is so unbearable that you need to leave the room? Whose energy kills like doom? Look at your life. Inspect your decisions. Cancel subscriptions from features that don’t show in your life. Move on. Carry on. Forget. Let time pass in between. Forgetting is bliss. Forgetting is preparing for the future. Things that don’t meet your current standards are the stale past made to wither like leaves in autumn. Spring ahead and witness your life blossom. Forget people who don’t think you’re awesome. Forget the mistakes of the past. Forget what could have been. Be present and look at everything unfold before your eyes. Expand your horizon and look farther. Stretch your imagination. Explore. Create new memories. Forget everything that isn’t making you grow, reside in a bubble of bliss and optimism; eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
I like Freuds work on the Superego. Basically the Superego is what regulates conduct, values and morality in a human being. The Superego is derived from society and the teachings from our parents. It serves to regulate order in the world. It’s the total opposite from the ID. The ID is self-indulgent, it is all about me and what I want and desire – to hell with everybody! The ID is unreasonable and greedy. The ID is undesirable, repressed and often unconscious. The middle between the Superego and the ID is the Ego. It decides what is the right course of action for the individual to take. The Ego gathers data from the Superego and the ID and finds a compromise. What manifests in the world is the Ego manifesting itself. This information is useful because we all a Superego, ID and ego. Having a Superego that is in line with society’s standards helps us navigate the world for it enables us to practice empathy with one another. A Superego makes us decent with one another and it is how we foster relationships with one another. However, it can also become a prison, locking you to the opinions of others. This is dangerous because you might lose your identity, attempting to please the people in your life. Regardless, the Superego is what is needed to navigate the world successfully, for it enables you to understand society and the world all around. Without the Superego you run the risk of becoming detached. This is risky because by nature man is a social creature, he needs social connections to find a mate and acquaintances who will help him in all spheres of life. Having a Superego that is morally aligned gives one factory settings in life.
The problem with the Superego is that it fosters a collective mindset. It fails to account for the individual. It keeps an individual at the bottom of Maslow’s pyramid of needs. It hinders the process of self-realization. To actualize you need the ID to stand up and say “No!”. The “No” must be backed up with reason and evidence. The “No” has to keep the customs of the world in mind, it has to account for the Superego and still rebel. This rebellious spirit is what will enable and individual to create his own path. This “No” must be akin to a lion’s roar. It must be prideful, affirmed, grounded and strong. In doing so, the individual will become a Lion. The Lion is something we must all aspire to become because it fully asserts its will. A Lion is the king of its life. It operates in the world with its conditions. The Lion is a big step to self-actualization. The Lion fosters in self-identity in the individual. The Lion makes the individual confident in his abilities. The Lion has a swagger about its walk, it has ingrained qualities that are immovable, it is assured and lives life on its own terms. Activating the Lion in you requires that you only say “No!” and mean it. It requires that you live your “No!”, it requires that you rid yourself of fears and others people’s opinions and judgments. It requires that you live life for yourself. Choosing to say “No!” unlocks a “Yes” for your mode of existence. This means “Yes” to your passions, “Yes” to your dreams and goals, “Yes” to everything you want to be! Saying “No” to your Superego gives the leverage to your ID. It gives your ID expression and fulfillment. It gives you an opportunity to be self-indulgent, an opportunity to know and master your true self, it gives you an open canvas to do as you please. Life is the accumulation of different stages, the Lion stage or the exploration of the ID must come after the Superego has been mastered. This enables sustainable development towards the journey of self-realization.
The natural progression of the Lion phase activates the last metamorphosis in the journey towards self-realization, that is one of the child. The child represents seeing for the first time. It represents the process of creation and novelty. It represents a genuine wonder at the world. To a child’s mindeye, everything is possible. This is the spirit that propels the individual towards the journey of self-realization and actualization. It is the spirit of creation. The natural tendency for man is to create hence Human “Being” entailing presence and becoming more than we are. “Being” is exerting yourself to the world. “Being” is striving to be more. “Being” is an action, it is consciousness and at a fundamental level it is creation itself. We lose this essence in the modern world because we get indoctrinated to man-made systems and adhere to conventional wisdom. In doing so we get identified with our Superego. And as we identify more with the Superego, we surpress the ID, scaling the power to the Superego, enabling the Ego to assume the dominant personality of the Superego. We are taught and programmed to lose ourselves, to abandon our individuality. The modern world teaches us to regress. To find the childlike spirit in your soul, you have to find your passions again, to connect with them, you have to follow what makes your eyes glisten, what makes them shine, you need to adopt your own values and have a deep appreciation for life. You need to live with constant gratitude for life. You need to sway away from the majority and their customs. You need to look at the world with novelty, bewilderment and awe. You need to find yourself again. The spirit of the child is what makes life worthwhile. It is positive energy and calibrates at a high vibration frequency. It is self-sustaining. It enriches your spirit. The spirit of the child is the only way to Self-actualize. Find your inner child voice and let it consume everything you do. This will keep you young, nourish your soul and will give your life meaning. Your true self is the inner child.
I am in love again and this time it’s real. Yes! I am excited. The last time I was in love, I was frustrated by it, I didn’t know what to do, I was overcome and overwhelmed with emotions I didn’t understand. I didn’t have control over my mind, I just felt so vulnerable and exposed. But this time, damn I could touch the sky. I could fly like Superman and tap dance on the moon. I feel lighter on my feet. Mr. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. She cast a spell on me, she bewitched me and I am okay with it. I am at ease with it. I am relieved, happy, and in love like a fool. Struck by Cupids multiple arrows. Hallucinating on a love trip that’s more potent than DMT, the spirit molecule. Thinking about her makes me creative, she is a great work of art. I am attracted to her like the opposite pole of a magnet. Animal magnetism, she reels me in like a fisherman and I am the fish hopelessly attached to the hook. I sometimes have nightmares about losing creativity but now I am saved, redeemed from my subconscious mind. She is my lifeboat, my life-saver. I now understand the concept of love. To show your scars and weaknesses and have somebody accept you for everything you are. To build a sustainable life and future with that person, to share your life, to grow old together, to plan, have children. It is liberating. It validates existence. It gives you peace. It is purpose. She is truly something special. Absolutely beautiful too. Great smile, it radiates and spreads all over existence like the sun’s rays. I realized that I was in love when I was in denial. I was terrified of my own feelings, terrified of what they meant. I tried to surpress this girl in my mind but she keeps popping up like a jack in the box. She roams around in my mind slowly and with great stealth like a thief in the night. She is always at the back of my mind like a shadow. I am so gone. I have no chance. I have no defense for her wit and overall personality. Like Usher, I am so caught up and these are my confessions. It’s been a long time coming, everyone cracks under sustained pressure. Man, I am in love with her, she treats me well. The energy is good and I am addicted to her like sugar, she gives me a rush! If I could, I would treat her well. My meaning in this world would be derived from that. After all, man has a subconscious urge to please woman, it’s in his DNA, it’s all he is. If a woman can’t motivate you, what can? In a cold world where nothing really matters and nobody really cares, she cares. She is warm and nourishing like body butter. That’s deep, like the dead sea salt in Israel, she exfoliates my soul, purifies my pores from within. I feel blessed. I am in love. In love with everything she is, I am infatuated. She is perfect. The best woman in the world. My African woman. Thinking about her makes me feel numb and carefree, like a sort of high you get from smoking chronic. I am not tripping, she is kind hearted, intelligent and special. She makes me feel at peace like graveyards in suburbs, she is my “Coco” the love of my life and I hope she always remembers me or my soul will perish forever. She is my medication, she makes me high of life, my chronic lady.
I change my mind, I was stupid, I was impulsive, I am an idiot and I apologize. I have to retract my earlier statement. “The Irishman” is not my favorite movie, in fact I don’t have a favorite movie. You changed things for me. Your excellence, your gift, your creativity, your longevity, your passion, your movies. I am only a human being and I can’t resist the urge to compare, but you, your movies, they confuse me so much. I don’t know which is better. I use to think “Casino” was my favorite movie. Sharon Stone as Ginger was inspiring. I truly loved her performance. She taught me a lot about life. I will never forget her. Joe Persci and Robert De Niro were of course excellent so there’s no need to make a comment there. Robert De Niro was one of my favorite actors but now I don’t have any. That goes for you too DiCaprio, you mean nothing to me now. Things changed in 2013 when “The Wolf Of Wall Street” came out. I was obsessed with it. I will never forget that conversation between Mark Henna and Jordon Belfort. It shattered reality for me. It was like realizing that the moon landings were faked, it was awesome! I used to watch it every year on my birthday, it was a ritual of mine. I love how you can teach me about life sir. “The Wolf of Wall Street” was amazing! It was quite an experience, it was grand, provocative, truthful and fearless. Critics claimed that it perpetuated a lot of morally unacceptable behavior but they are wrong! That’s what greed does to a human being. You depicted the greed beautifully. I love how you made me identify with Jordon Belfort. I wanted to be him, I felt like him and then you took everything from me; the hot blonde, the kids, the expensive piece of real estate, the money and my profession. The tragedy! Oh Mr. Scorsese, only you can make me feel that way. I wish I could relive the experience of watching that movie again. It was a once in a lifetime movie. At least that’s what I thought, until I watched “Silence”, 3 years later and I was blown away! I loved “Silence”. It was so challenging. It covered the subjects of religion and morality. Wow, it is a powerful movie. I thought that was your best movie. But then fast forward 3 years later and you release “The Irishman”. Damn! You bring in Robert De Niro, Joe Persci and Al Pacino. You explore powerful subjects like our impending old age and death. That’s not all, you also cover love, loyalty and the mafia. That movie really touched me. It opened up the world for me. I learned a lot. Truly speaking it was the greatest movie that I had ever seen. Better than “The Godfather” trilogy, Scarface and Tarantino’s epic Inglorious Basterds. It was a big omission to concede on my side, it was hard. However, “The Irishman” deserved my number one spot. With that I was done, surely no movie is better than “The Irishman”. I proceeded with watching your other movies. I watched “The Last Temptation of Christ”, “Shutter Island” “Bringing out the Dead”, “The Color of Money”, “After Hours” “The Departed”, “Taxi Driver”, “The Aviator”, “Raging Bull”, “The King of Comedy” and “The Gangs of New York”. I was back to square one. I thought they were all legendary movies. I was confused, perplexed, “The Irishman” was no longer my favorite. I didn’t know which movie was my favorite. And so Mr. Scorsese, I would like to make things right. I don’t have a favorite anything in the world anymore. I don’t have a favorite actor. I don’t have a favorite director. I don’t identify with anything. I am a spectator now. I am neutral. I am a fence sitter. I live life without attachments. I will never judge and compare art ever again in my life! I will only enjoy, appreciate and applaud. This extends to all affairs in my life. I am now truly open-minded. I look forward to seeing more of your films and I thank you for what you have done for film. God bless.
antakalipa 