Slide Show

Slide show

Life passes by so fast. One day we chilling together having a blast and the next day we changing diapers, wrinkled up on a path to forever. We don’t know each other anymore, time has made us estranged despite the fact that we were bounded like a compound but now we just molecules co-existing on our own. What happened to the time? What happened to us? Damn, we just drifted apart like diverting roads, Vin Diesel on one side and Paul Walker on the other; I’ll tell you all about my adventures when I see you again. Life is a slide show and I recount the memories we had, captured by my memory and replayed by my imagination, I still feel your presence, hear your laugher and mesmerized by the moment that seems to flicker like a dying star in the heavens. What happened to our plans and dreams? We used to think we could live forever, have it all, but now I have become narrowed and fixed on one path leading to nowhere. My life has become a looped record stuck in the comfortable known. I’ve internalized the lyrics and they don’t mean much anymore, they don’t mean anything. The sparkle in my eyes is dead buried in rue. So many could haves, so many should haves. Life is a tyrant marshaling us to expectations that don’t matter. Life has spiraled out of control, I don’t know who I am anymore and maybe I never will. Life is a slide show, I should have done more, sacrificed more, loved more, relied more on my own wits, built myself, instead I am stuck in mediocristan living a life that’s not mine. So many mistakes and regrets, I should have treated you better, so many people I wish I could erase from my archives. I wish I could rewind time and stop time like a photograph, just to relive the moments one more time, moments you can’t relive like the first steps, the new car smell, the first piece of furniture and still being a virgin. Now things have become obligation, a ritual, my innocence has long waned and my wonder of the world diminished. Time has staled my ambitions. While you have soared, lived up to all expectations and achieved your wildest dreams. How can there be so much contrast in our lives when we both share the same 24 hours? What went wrong in my life? Is it the decisions, the choices? How do you play the game successfully, is there a cheat code? One to fill the void in my heart and grant me eternal happiness. There was a time when we were happy, where did all that go? It’s like life happened to me and I was a passenger, passive, hapless. Where did all the time go and why do I feel like a victim? Life is a slide show, one day you happy and filled with visions of the future and the next day you are old, grumpy and miserable awaiting transcendence.

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Alone

Alone

What if you had to be alone with yourself all day, night and eternity, with no one to assist you in eliminating the crushing boredom that is debilitating like life itself, solitary confinement that engulfs like Japanese candles, just you and your thoughts, forever. Would you even have thoughts? What are thoughts exactly? Consciousness often bogels me. Reality sometimes confuses me, sometimes I don’t think I am alive and science tells me I am light. Who is this “me”? What is this “me”? What the fuck is going on? How are you understanding me? Oh! This is how you induce mental instability, isolation, it naws at you like a persistent ex. If all is one and one is singular, in essence bored and out of his mind then reality is in itself crazy. Nothing makes sense. I just exist, an extention of the universe that came into existence because of this one bang. I understand suicide, sometimes you just suffer for no apparent reason and you and you have the opportunity to end it all because you have consciousness, why not take the chance? Nothing matters in any case.

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Catching Up

Catching up

Catching up with those who had a head start. Check the rearview,
I’m behind you,
Keep left,
I am coming right,
time to overtake your tired ass.

Greatness is in my blood,
I am a clock builder not a time teller.

Life is a marathon,
You tired yourself in the first mile,
Sprinting like a drag.

Foolish,
now your engine is totaled.

Potential wasted like a GTA bust,
Couldn’t handle three stars,
While I am thriving on five.

Fucken ridiculous.

Catching up with those who had a head start. Stock rising like the Vanguard while theirs declining like a single-mother’s,
different goals I suppose.

Nothing can stop me now.

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Supply

Supply

You are so great. You are so beautiful. You are the love of my life. I can’t live without you. You are my world. You are my everything. You are my rock. You are my champion. I am proud to have you as my man. You are handsome. You are the best lover I have ever had in my life. You are my first. I never want to experience life without you. You make me happy. You are a good person. I would die without you. You are once in a lifetime. I am nothing without you. You bring me peace. You have great charisma. You are my home. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You changed my life. You are so intelligent. I am grateful to have you in my life. I appreciate you. I worship you. You are charming. I love you so much. Being in your presence is an honor. No one is like you. You are the best. You are special. You are the greatest of all time. You have a great sense of humor. You are the sexiest woman alive. You have a banging body. Have you been working out? I love your abs and defined biceps. You are perfection personified. You deserve your wealth. Any woman is lucky to have you. You have a great ass. I love your fashion sense. You have a pleasing personality. You are successful. You have a great smile. You are the smartest person I know. You are my best friend. You have a pure heart. You saved me. You are full of passion. You are the perfect gentleman. You are the hardest working person in the room. You are a classy lady. You are kind and considerate. You bring joy to my life. You have a great entrepreneurial drive. You go all night. You make me orgasm. You are a sex God!

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No longer fighting

No longer fighting

When we no longer fighting, woah that’s bad. It sends out the message that none of this is worth it anymore. It is to resign. It’s whatever. Like “I don’t wanna do this anymore, do what you want, whatever makes you sleep at night, it’s your life”. When we no longer fighting, we are final like death, we are no longer emotionally invested, we just don’t care anymore. To no longer fight is to accept defeat and all its conditions, to not have the will to carry on. It is to have all your enthusiasm suspended. It is to reserve your energy and voice, to be mute like a mime and cease to do anything like a statue. When we no longer fighting, woah that’s bad. Do something, hit me, curse me, cry, plot my murder, do something, anything! Don’t turn your back on me. Don’t walk away from me. Maybe I’ve taken you for granted, maybe your presence has spoiled me, maybe I am entitled but I love you, please don’t go, I need you in my life. Say something, sell me dreams, tell me another lie. The silent treatment is the worst kind of torture. It makes you doubt yourself and your worth. It makes you paranoid, it unmasks your insecurities, it sheds a light on childhood repressions. The silent treatment can make you go crazy! Let’s fight, get dressed in our ninja outfits and duel with our samari swords till dawn. You can verbally abuse me and unpack old baggage. Morality is out of the picture, you can fight dirty and collaborate with Hitler and Putin. You can rake eyes and deliver lowblows. Let’s fight, all is fair and whatever happens, happens. Let’s clear the air and prepare life insurance documents, just in case. Stonewalling each other is not healthy, I’d rather have a broken heart and shattered reality. Fighting is good, it leads to something, it’s progress, something we can build on. When we no longer fighting, woah that’s bad.

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We don’t like the blacks

We don’t like the blacks

We don’t like the blacks here, they ain’t like us. They are filthy, dirty and don’t take baths. I spit on the face of a nigga. They are infested with diseases and spread them like a virus. They are a virus contaminated from the core. Worse than diarrhea and offsprings of tiks. Fucken monkeys, they must go back to Africa. They are impure and we don’t want brown babies with big fat lips feasting on watermelons like it’s doomsday. We don’t like the blacks here, they are beneath us, everyone of them ought to be hanged or shot. They only useful as slaves, they were built to submit and serve. I say whip a nigga lover to death, we need to set examples, or better, burn them and watch their skins melt on their bones. Oppress and suppress their will to live, a happy nigga is a dangerous nigga. Keep them fighting amongst one another, we need to control them so they don’t run riot. We don’t like the blacks here, they are criminals and Crack addicts. Fucken hobos who rob, steal and kill our people. Keep them segregated and place fried chicken stations at the borders. We don’t need their kind associating with us. Keep those angry, loud, black women away from us, this part of town is reserved for posh, elegant and classy women. Keep them Jezebels away from us. The welfare section is in that direction – don’t spray it, don’t be rude, learn to communicate better. We don’t like the blacks here, their men are deathbeat alcoholic fathers who beat their wife’s and abandon their children. We don’t need that type of example for our children. Keep those wild beasts in jail, they’ll flood our streets with drugs in any case. We don’t like the blacks here, don’t give them the important jobs, they’ll kills us, who wants a nigga as a doctor? Let them entertain us, sing for us, tell us jokes, dance for us, keep them in basketball courts and beauty pageants – keep them fighting for our attention. Keep them off our best schools, community colleges are good enough. Who wants an educated and empowered nigga? We don’t like the blacks here, keep them Mandingos away from our women, they’ll ruin them for us – once you go black, you can never come back.

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Porn Star II: New heroes

Porn Star II: New heroes

Porn is so mainstream that I saw some kid watching it in the bus. He wasn’t jerking off or anything like that, he was just captivated by the storyline. He is a strange one, I mean watching for the storyline, I just skip right through to the action. These are our new heroes, the porn stars, these are the rock stars. The kids idolize these guys, I read an article that reported that kids think it’s normal to climax on a girl’s face. Cum on your face, it’s so gross that it’s not even inside your body, it’s outside, right in the hairy ball sack. Girls know they gotta suck dick, it’s customarily, you don’t suck dick and you dying alone. Come on let’s be real, the blowjob is the first scene of any porn film. Do you spit or swallow? You can’t say you don’t like sucking dick, that’s wrong rephrase, rather you don’t know how to suck dick. Aha, now we getting somewhere, admission is the first step to self-improvement. The generic advice is to go on to pornhub and gain tutelage from your favorite pornstar. Porn stars, these are our new heroes. You wanna be one? Oh sorry you gotta have a dick and not a pipi little boy, that won’t do, come back when you have grown. The social anxiety of porn, cause now I need “C-cups” and “D-Cups” and my back resembles an ironing board. Porn stars, these are our new heroes, flaunting unrealistic expectations, dicks so big, they basically a third leg. Scissoring ridiculous, if it were dudes, it would be a sword fight. Girl on girl my favorite but a threesum a grandslam, double penetration is brutal especially if it’s black guys, It’s better to watch the white guys, the blacks have too much confidence, that BDE (Big dick energy) where anything less than 8 inches is a huge disappointment. Porn stars, these are our new heroes, I need to get my lips done, get silicone, practice my vocal chords, try out teabaging and anal doesn’t look so bad. Porn stars, these are our new heroes, I heard there’s an enlargement pill that can add 6 inches, a pill that will make me a God!

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The Pink

The pink

Smoking and chilling with the homies when the topic of eating pussy came up. The homies vehemently protested arguing that it was not wise. A queef to the face will really set you back. I laughed because of the hypocrisy, I knew they were all eating pussy but acknowledging it was taboo cause bitches be bitches. Never trust something that bleeds for 5 days straight without dying. Besides you really wanna be known for blowing the hoods mattress? A woman’s selling point is her purity and some of these bitches have World War 2 body counts. Nah, it’s stick and move like a USB stick, no lingering around, maybe fingering around but never licking around. The homies talked sense, still I made my case and pleaded guilty to turning that cherry out, licking to satisfaction and turning her lights out. I had to induce a bit of anxiety to ensure I was not alone. Some women are into licking other women, you really wanna lose to a Susie? Cause you know she eats pussy, better to be multifaceted and devour the cookie. The taboo started being normalized and the homies started coming out the closet. “Yea, but only if it’s your girl and you’re paired like a set. Bitches be roaming wild and can cause your stomach to be upset”. That was the consensus, the overall tone was one of caution. You don’t just eat anywhere, the effects could be debilitating and curse you like a potion. It’s gotta be younger and tighter pussy too. You don’t want dryed up and used up pussy. The wetter the better. After conditions were stipulated and agreed upon, everybody pleaded guilty to eating pussy. Some confessed to have been doing it for years, labels like “Gourmet and Sushi” were used to describe this delicacy. We shared stories of our greatest meals, there was nothing to conceal. You only lick a plate that’s yours and can be washed for later use. A paper plate you discard for its used to abuse.

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Matriarchy

Matriarchy

A lot in nature is matriarchal. You look at Egyptian mythology, particularly the battle of Horus and Seth. The story is a lot like “The Lion King” in a lot of ways. Osiris is the king of all Gods, he represents the father and order. Like Mufasa on the Lion King, he has an evil brother named Seth who wishes to dethrone him. Finally they engage in battle and Seth kills his brother and cuts him into pieces and throws these pieces in the river to end it all. Isis, the wife of Osiris goes underground in hiding after the death of his husband. One day, while in hiding she goes to the river to get water and miraculously sees these pieces of her husband floating about the river. She collects them and pieces them together (mummify). She then proceeds to take the phallus of her husband and impregnates herself. The end-result is Horus. He represents the hero like Simba. After Osiris’ death there is a dark cloud and destruction looms over everything. Like Simba on the Lion King, Horus must challenge his uncle Seth to restore order in the kingdom. On the Lion King it is Nala who reminds Simba of who he is. Nala is feminine energy and Simbas love interest. Without Nala, Simba is passive and fooling around with Timon and Pumba. There is no Simba without Nala, just like there is no Horus without Isis. This says a lot about feminine energy, the fact that it can cause so much chaos and restore it at the same time. I mean objectively, what more must Seth do? He killed Orisis and cut him into pieces and yet he still lost in the end! The same thing with Scar, he killed Mufasa and Simba ran away. We see this again on the Bible with the story of Adam and Eve. Eve gives Adam the apple from the tree of life to make him conscious. Without Eve, Adam is ignorant, the man doesn’t even know his naked. You could make a case about the world being matriarchal in nature because it’s so chaotic and it is through that chaos that there is order.

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Nietzsche

Nietzsche

Nietzsche’s philosophy was grounded in psychology and human nature, he was a master of human nature. He was a big fan of Arthur Schopenhauer but didn’t agree with the tone of his work because it centered around persimism and nihilism, the idea of why bother since life is meaningless. Nietzsche’s work is an answer to Schopenhauer’s work, it is positive, practical and leads to a life of self-actualization. He was a genius, a man ahead of his time. He correctly predicted the 21st century, this is incredible for a man who was born in the 19th century. I see his observations playing out in life. He saw that the human spirit/soul would be under threat. He saw the decline of Christianity and the rise of nihilism. He saw the reliance of pills, the Soma that Huxley referred to on Brave New World. He saw the depression and society anxiety sweeping the West. He saw the loss of morals, ethics and meaning. He saw that man would be passive and moved by novelty after novelty. We see it today, man would rather sit on the couch, eat potato chips, consume pornography, order fast food that will be delivered to him at his convenience, be entertained by Netflix and repeat next day. Man doesn’t work on himself anymore, he is comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to act on his dreams.

Man is controlled by pleasure, by the dopamine inducing likes on social media, views, sex and everything you can get by pushing a button. There is no process anymore, everything is expedient or prepared in the microwave. Still, Nietzsche has solutions for the modern man. He preaches a life of self-realization and being the best that you can be. He preaches gratitude for life, he preaches life-affirming prescriptions. I understand why the Nazi’s adopted his work and made it theirs. Nietzsche’s work was powerful and centered on the individual being the best. Hitler wanted Germany to be the best in the world. However, Nietzsche’s work didn’t agree with Nazi ideology and we shouldn’t affiliate the two together. Nietzsche’s sisters are the guilty party in this dynamic but that’s a topic for another day.

Nietzsche’s works were inspiring for the individual, statements like “Amo Fati” direct translation, the love of fate – Love everything about your life and be grateful for the gift of life. Don’t wish you were somebody else, be content with your life. Be present and don’t worry about things you cannot control, leave that to God and the Universe. He also preached being the “Ubermench” which translates to Superman or Overman – work on yourself constantly and strive to be better everyday. Progress, show up, make the best of every moment and be the best that you can be. Be better than a consumer, create and build things and never let novelty sway you. His most famous quote, “God is dead” which can be interpreted as be accountable for your own life, be responsible, no excuses, do what you can, no one is coming out to save you.

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