Everybody knows on the third date we engage in coitus, it’s a concrete rule edged on the stone of life, it’s in the Bible, old testament. How you gon test a man? What do you mean you tired? What’s next, you gonna hit my hand? Unfortunately, the contract is signed and I’ve been hired. I listened to your boring stories and acted like I cared, so great my performance you think our experiences are shared. Oh hell no, the chance to elope was on the first date, the second date is a debate but the third date is the save the date! How you gon leave casually like nothing happened? I played my role what must happen? After all the money I spent on you? Champagne and wine ordered just for you. Lobster and prawns just to impress you. Your time is due, open up the gates cause I’ve been standing in queue. The time has come for me to validate you. Grab your bag, we going to sleep, I’ll get you a Red Bull, this problem ain’t steep. Don’t you know what grown folks do after dinner? I know you do cause you a sinner. I freaked you once when you were thinner and now you are matured and I can’t wait to pin ya. On the bed, on the floor, suck your tits, penetrate you to the core, I’ll french kiss your other tongue, I am better than ever before. Everybody knows on the third date we engage in coitus, what type of panties you wearing, it’s time to misbehave, I hope you all shaved, never mind that I like bush all the same, I’m vintage like I lived in caves.
This is a 2am post. I couldn’t sleep. I am haunted. I hear voices in my head. That creative demon is possessing me again. Bringing this out in the world will make me feel better. It will enable me to sleep. I intend to post this. Well done Internet, you even have my most inner thoughts, you know me better than I know myself. I try to not identify with my ego because that’s not who I am. I don’t have to pick a side, I can actively choose to be a bystander, to just look and have no opinion. I am not what people say I am. I am not my mind. I am not my possessions. I am not my status. I am not my wealth. I am not the number of followers I have on my socials. I am not my past. I just am, alive, existence. So maybe you don’t know me Internet, because how can you? I am spontaneous. I don’t even know what I am going to do next, the future is uncertain and that’s the element I love the most. I try to be present all the time. The present is all we ever have, everything else is all just an illusion. So why not give the present moment everything you have? Afterall, there is no such thing as the future and the afterlife is a hoax. Time is a man-made concept and so is religion. Everything is all in your head. There is no such thing as time, everything is just what it is, everything is everything! Oh, Lauryn baby, I love that song, congratulations on the great album, I heard it went Diamond! “Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” is timeless like the structure of reality. But I digress. Even though I try to not identify too much with the ego, I have to. Simply because it holds my perceived identity and reality. It is my name, my family, my friends, my social class, my environment, my past, my future, my everything. For without my ego, without time, who am I? What am I? Do I even exist? I can’t just be life, I am being. The essence of being is meaning, a purpose and the ego provides that. This is the great comedy of life because I am something and nothing at the same time. Striking the balance between this nothingness and something is the key. Zen philosophy teaches this beautifully with its insistence on the middle ground, Hu Wei which translates to none doing, don’t force things, stream with what flows easily in life. Take the middle ground and flow. You can’t not do anything, that is a feeding ground for nihilistic thoughts and a unsustainable life. That is hell. Life has to mean something. You need to have meaning in your life even though it’s derived from an ego despite the fact that you are not your ego! Being present in the eternal now is everything because you are simply life, no different from the trees and lillies in your garden. This is what I mean when I say you are not your mind because it seeks meaning from the ego and the ego is generated from external phenomena. Yet you are at the same time, it’s confusing, what a paradox existence is, life is a dichotomy. You are not what the world says you are although lines might be blurred and you might think you are. You are simply life, something spontaneous the universe created. You are a living organism in its purest form, energy, an absolute miracle, the universe experiencing itself. We can’t talk about consciousness because we can’t account for it just like we don’t beat our hearts, it just happens to us. We need the ego to function in daily life because it provides labels that can help us navigate every day life. Being mindful of your thoughts is key to understanding this.
My dominating ego is that of the entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur is philosophical for me. It is my mode of existence. I derive meaning from my entrepreneurial endeavors. It is what I am to the core. It’s what I did in the past, it’s what I do in the present and because I am a creature of habit it is what I will do in the future. I love entrepreneurship because because it allows me to give everything I have to the present moment. It’s in the things I do unconsciously, what I like subconsciously. It’s in my dominant personality trait. I read Hitler with an open mind and Toy Story makes me tear up. I am a creative who has told stories all his life. I worship all art forms and content is my life. I started doing poetry when I was 8 years old. I started doing ads for television when I was 9. At 10, I was in the school choir. At 12, I started selling sweets (fireballs) at school to raise money to buy myself a PSP (Playstation Portable) and I SUCCEEDED! In Highschool, I was a football coach that coached a team that went on to dominate the district. I did it with Kay, the team we started dominated Ekuruleni for two consecutive years, went undefeated for 3 years. Still in high school with my other friends, we created a cult in the form of a concert that lived on for many years after we had graduated. The entrepreneurial spirit is engraved within, again it is who I am to the core. I’ve always been self-sufficient, self-reliant and independent. I am open-minded, creative and I start things. I have the right energy. I create beautiful things. I am passionate. I question things. I am not scared of failure. I don’t live life with fear. Not even the Coronavirus at its peak affected me, I never wore a mask. Not because of my issues with authority but because I am a fucken hero, Mr. Entrepreneur, I risk it all, I risk life! And it was a lot of noise from the media, that’s when I knew I wasn’t going to oblige because they dish out fear to keep us enslaved and in line with an agenda. People are a product for the media and authority figures. Besides, you can’t tell me what to do. You can’t control me! I live, breathe, entrepreneurship. I gave my whole soul to the process. I sacrificed everything for the process, have been ridiculed and laughed at for the process. I have cried for the process. My character has been slandered for the process. I have lost friends and acquaintances for the process. I went to hospital for the process. I am willing to die for the process! And while I am not my ego, I am an entrepreneur, that’s my spirit, my soul, the one thing that has been a constant in my life, I am a creator, I am a creative! I am unemployable, I intimidate my employers, I am too good, I am too ambitious, I am a star, a five point pentagon that cannot fit in a square, a box. Mr. entrepreneur. My time is coming, I will rule, nothing can stop me. I am inevitable like death. This is destiny, it is what must happen. This is God’s plan. I have to replace the previous generation of entrepreneurs. Someday, I will be replaced too. It’s simply my turn to serve. Sorry Devil, I know all of your tricks, you can’t make me drift. In the end I’ll win because I am the best everyday of my life, Mr. Never Change, Mr. Consistency, Mr. Entrepreneur.
My goal is to be the greatest ever. Not on a criteria that anybody has set, but for me I have a rubric. Drunk alert, drunk alert, drunk alert, I took 9 shots of gin, the unconscious is now in control. This is my true self unsolicited, my subconscious dictating my behavior. I’m on free-flow, on autopilot. The conscious mind flunked out the equation. This is God speaking through me. Give me the opportunity. Give me the chance to change the world. These are my constant thoughts.
To the Universe, give me a chance to create awesome things. Connect me with excellence, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do. Just as long as it is ethical and the morality is on par with what I am accustomed to. Make the capital available for my endeavors. Help me fly. Accompany me in my journey of greatness.
Lucky, gratitude bomb!
What are the odds that I would be so lucky in this lifetime? It’s simply incredible! I am thankful. I am grateful. Life is a lottery that I have somehow won by a miracle. Firstly, I was born a boy, male, a man, what an incredible win, I am so lucky. I am lucky to be the first born, it has wonderful advantages. I am lucky to be the big brother, what an honor. I am lucky to have the mother that I have. She’s so strong and inspiring. I am lucky to have friends who want me in their social circle. I am lucky to have lived in Limpopo for 2 years, I loved every second of it, sometimes I thought I was dreaming and maybe I was. I am lucky my stomach is full every night. I am lucky I have the internet and Facebook. I am lucky to have known Rorisang Moeketsi who is bright, headstrong, emotionally intelligent and progressive. I am lucky my brother is an artist. I am lucky I went to school. I am lucky I can read and write. I am lucky I have dreams, a luxury for someone who has to eat. I am lucky I grew up in Alex, Gomora. I am lucky I can listen Common, Nas, Jay-Z, Kanye West, J. Cole and Kendrick Lamar; thank you for everything guys. I am super lucky I met Reishi, a wonderful young boy who gave his life to save another, I am lucky he was my best friend. While you were still alive you taught me so much, you taught me kindness and love. I will never forget you. Thank you for inspiring me, because of you I don’t fear death. I am lucky to have a shelter to rest my head. I am lucky Loyiso has been my friend for all these years (2 decades). I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for your friendship, education and kindness. By far the best roller of a joint that I know. I am lucky I have the opportunity to appreciate art, to listen to music, read literature, watch films and to write poetry. Wanda, red Mercedes-Benz. I am lucky I get to watch Lionel Messi and FC Barcelona on my screen. Thank you God for giving Lionel Messi the World Cup, he deserved it, for all the happiness his brought in the world. I am lucky to have been loved by a girl, more than 1, more than a handful. Thank God for Marijuana. Manchester United and Orlando Pirates are lucky to have me as a fan, you guys have made me suffer. Thank you for everything Sir Alex Ferguson. She said she loves me, yes, cool, affirmative, outstanding, that’s the greatest news of my life, I love you too and I know you’re with me for the long haul, let me get a couple of deals together. I am lucky to have served as the General Secretary for KOSP, what an honor. I am lucky to have kissed a girl. Thank you for the intercourse ladies, I appreciate it. I am lucky that I’ve lived in the suburbs. I am lucky to have known Thato Katane, I love your spirit boy, mind over matter, your container is immortal. I am lucky to have two brothers. I am grateful for Quentin Tarantino, he is timeless and boundless. He made me love movies with Kill Bill. Steven Speilberg is pretty legendary too. “Birdman or The unexpected virtue of ignorance” is one of my favorite movies of all time! That continuous shot is crazy! I am lucky to have had Christopher as my friend, he was my equal at everything including Fifa, Mathematics and cross-country. Thank you for your competitive spirit boy, I appreciate and cherish the memories we shared. Thank you Steve Jobs for your life. I am lucky to have had Lonwabo in my life who was a good friend of mine. I let you down, I am sorry, I hope to make it up to you someday. Thank you Robert Greene. Phimza, Red OPC, culture. I am lucky to have a sister. I am lucky I have water to drink. I am grateful to Warren Buffet for the inspiration, wisdom and knowledge. I am lucky I am fully able. I am lucky I had Lethabo in my life, we started “Cultured” together and Arty came along to join the team. I am lucky I have clothes and blankets to keep me warm in the winter. I am lucky I was a football coach to 3 different teams. I am lucky to have been a child actor. Thank you Napoleon Hill. Thank you Jim Rohn. I am lucky I get to go to the Library every now and then. I am lucky to have had Tumiso in my life. I loved our conversations. Our sessions were like an appointment with your therapist, we talked about a lot of serious things, our challenges in life, our feelings and emotions, our past, our impending future, just life. I am so grateful to have had you in my life. I am lucky to have known Amy Winehouse through her music. Amy, you still my favorite artist in the whole world! I am lucky that I am a creative and entrepreneurial. I am lucky Phimza drops me off at home when it’s too late, thank you mpinch. I am grateful for Marcel Proust, “In search of lost time” is brilliant, a real piece of art. Thank you for the lessons Proust. Fyodor Dostoevsky on another level though, ‘Notes from Underground’ and ‘Crime and Punishment’ are both masterpieces and ‘The Karamazov Brothers’ the greatest piece of literature of all time. Don’t forget about ‘The Master and Margarita’. I am lucky I have soap and cologne to keep me fresh. I am lucky to have an uncle who is supportive. I am lucky to have Lauryn Hill in my life, art is forever and “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” is forever, I love your Unplugged with MTV too. Everyday I wake up, I win. I am lucky to have a cousin who took his time to refine my driving skills and teach me about art. I am lucky to have had a friend like Kalushi who matched my creative energy. Thank you for the Yezzys! Thank you Kanye for “Sunday service choir”, “Jesus Is Born” is a classic. I am lucky to have known Kay, who was brilliant and awesome, amazingly, everyone respected and loved Kay, he was the best. I apologize for disappointing you Kay, it really wasn’t my intention. I failed because I didn’t have things in order, I was inexperienced and too eager, one day I hope to make it up to you and everyone who put their faith in me. I am grateful for Martin Scorsese, he is the best. Marty, I loved “Hugo” and all your other movies with no exception, yes even “New York, New York”, I think it’s a masterpiece. I am lucky I’ve been to Gold Reef City and the Rand Show. I am lucky I have a cellphone to which I can listen to Anderson Paak on, he is unbelievably talented. I am lucky I have shoes. Thank you Pep Guardiola, Luis Enrique, Ernesto Valverde, Xavi Hernandes, Andres Iniesta, Carles Puyol, Dani Alves, Luis Suares, Sergio Busquets, Gerard Pique, Ivan Rakitic and ter Stegen. Thank you to everyone at Barca, past and present. Grateful for Emiliano Martinez, Angel Di Maria and all the players of the Argentine National team. I am lucky to have taken a picture with Flabba. I am lucky I am black.
I’m leaking out content, Imma be okay, sitting by the bay watching my influence compound, faster than the speed of sound, my greatness is bound. I am a creative mastermind. I am the best in the world. Classic like Converse, multifaceted and diverse. Most consistent, recurring like a nightmare that’s persistent. Best charisma, exuding presence and power like Alibaba without the Jack Ma. Swagger off the charts. Mr. Never Change and constantly expanding on these parts. I am consciousness, have the enthusiasm of Pamela Anderson on Baywatch, the body yelling Bae watch, tities voluptuous and bouncy you just gotta watch, stock increasing to surprise market watch. Listen, allocate your winnings in an investment that will double your principal, don’t just blow it, don’t change your lifestyle, for what, for who? Pink Cadillac’s aren’t recession proof, gold and art is. Real Estate, Stocks, Land and yourself is. Build something for yourself in the guise of a business. Flashing, that’s what got people killed in a Scorsese movie, splurging on mink coats like a newbie, I mean “what’s a matter with you”, carelessness is a vice and you’ll get what’s due, be prepared to meet your maker cause you on the queue, told you to keep it on the low now your future is doom. Be a Goodfella and take your time, delay gratification and you will ultimately flourish. Slow and steady, you’ll ultimately be rich. Compound interest brings everything together like a stitch and you’ll have the power to light up the world like a switch. Have quality, stay focused and avoid duality. Be diversified and wholesome. Be positive and positive things will happen, this is basic universal law, things slice at the swing of a sword, cause and effect, we are energies and we have an aura, we attract like-minded individuals in our maps. And well the same goes for negative energy too, if you fall you might not come back too soon. Choose wisely, educate yourself and stay on course. The fast lane will only make you a corpse. Keep on improving and make the best out of everything, ultimately it’s your thoughts that color in what you see. When you look at your life do you like what you see? Do you have quality? Do you have the stamina to stay on the frequency of your dreams. Ask yourself the right things. Understand what makes people tick, know the game of power. Elevate to the top with grace and never be sour, ensure the people on the ground are with you in all the hours. Then we win, everything is ours. Sitting by the bay watching my influence scale past towers.
A friend called me from Dubai, it was treating him well but it was time to relocate to his homestead, you know the saying “there’s no place like home”. He had plans, he was thinking of a farming enterprise, I am talking about poultry, eggs and fresh produce like spinach and cabbage. He was also going to revolutionize the industry. For every item bought, there would be free delivery. Doesn’t sound like much now but he’d be the exception in his homeland of Limpopo. Limpopo is a rural area and the tempo of life is slow, to get your fresh vegetables you had to go to the local merchant, an inconvenience because in some areas shops are miles ahead. There’s also the case of the demographic in Limpopo, elderly people like grandparents lived there. Having farm fresh produce delivered at their doorsteps would be highly advantageous for them and they would appreciate the service. To make life even better, he was thinking of having an app built to satisfy the orders of the business. You could also order from the website, via sms or send a “please call me” and we will get back to you. I told him that I thought it was a great idea, well thought off with a lot of empathy. In my mindseye I pictured Amazon and drones, I saw fulfillment centers, I thought it had real potential. He proposed that I be his partner for the enterprise, “50/50 but you’d have to relocate to Limpopo for a while” he said. It was an opportunity and the prospect of building something so beautiful and meaningful thrilled me and so I accepted.
We started work, we had a ‘bakkie’ or van (Hyundai H100) and more than 100 hectares of land that needed to be cleared up. We bought logs and a fence to secure the perimeter. The enterprise was still in its infancy so we did the labor ourselves with the aid of two locals. We also cleared a small portion of land so that there would be entrance. We bought gates and installed them. A third member joined us, his name Tumelo but we just called him Stumza. He lived in the area and was the uncle of my partner, Kalushi but they were the same age, born on the same year. Stumza was a great asset, he was smart, creative, resourceful, had high levels of emotional intelligence, a lot of enthusiasm, knew the locals, a prominent member in the community and worked exceedingly hard. He was the perfect guy. Stumza could start and maintain a fire with minimum resources and it would last for the whole night or for when we needed to cook, heat water for bathing or just to keep us warm. To be fair Kalushi was equally equipped and he was a great cook. He cooked with a lot of love and care, his food was hearty and delicious. They were both necessary and essential for when we slept in the bushes.
We cleared a bit of land and called the borehole guys to drill up water but first we had to get the capital because the company was cash strapped considering the investments made already. We drew up a prospectus for investors offering them a share of the profits on 20 hectares of land. It worked and we had enough money for the borehole. In our area, one would get water at around 30 meters so we budgeted for 50 meters. The guys drilled past the 30 meter and still no water. Okay, that’s fine we made provisions for this, we told them to carry on. 65 meters and there was still no water and our budget was already inflated so we abandoned the mission, we simply didn’t have enough money. We consulted with a rehab center that was closeby and they had a borehole, they told us that they got water at 110 meters, almost double what we budgeted for, we were thunderstruck. Had we known beforehand, we would have invested the money wisely or asked more money from our investors. Our sources misled us, our Intel was false, we threw away all our money in a 65 meter well. Luckily we had something in the form of capital, not a lot or sufficient but something. With the capital we had, we shifted our attention on poultry houses. We built a 600 bird structure ourselves and in a couple of days commenced growing 400 chickens. For 6 weeks we lived at the bushes at the farm taking care of our investment. One dreadful day, after we had grown them and they were ripe, they were stolen. See, we were in a celebratory mood because we were done with our last cycle, the chickens looked good and were ready for the market. We hadn’t had a decent bath in days, so we left the farm for a while to refresh ourselves, it was well deserved. In an opportunistic move, some locals saw that as a sign and drove to the farm to steal over 300 chickens. When we returned to the farm we were distraught at what we saw. At least they didn’t steal all the chickens, it was a merciful steal, we still had 70 chickens, not enough to do anything. The stress was unbearable for my partner as he was pouring in his own money for the enterprise and it was not bearing any fruit, just disappointments. He also had to think about everyone, we hadn’t been paid in years and time was not slowing down. Fear won. He lost faith in the enterprise and enrolled to finish his studies as a teacher. I came back to Gauteng with nothing, as a loser, a failure, with nothing to show for my efforts and people were laughing behind my back. Certain family members exhibited schadenfreude. It was brutal, I had to move in back with my mother in her 3 room house, all the rooms were taken so I had to sleep on the floor with couch pouches serving as aids as I laid on the cold concreate floor, added thick blankets to improve the width and comfort, a couple of months later I graduated to the uncomfortable miniature couch that had me sleeping in one position the whole night with my legs and feet hanging in the air because there was no support and the space was constricted and confined, I slept like I was in a cacoon but it was not warm and accommodating but it did incubate my spirit, it was humiliating, at least I was young. Stumza found employment at the local retail store and Kalushi became a primary school teacher – he was the only one with a solid Plan B and he pushed the button, the captain who abandoned his ship.
There’s no hostility in my tone of words, on the contrary, I understand, we did everything imaginable, we gave everything to the process, we asked assistance from the government and other organizations and the response was mute, we got promises of assistance but they were void, no one helped. We did everything except to show patience, keep persisting and trust in the process and to be honest, what’s a business enterprise without those three ingredients? Let the record show that I didn’t give in, I was pushed out by inactivity, negativity and smear campaigns against my name. Even against that, I wanted to continue because the vision was above any one person. Kalushi was smart enough to have a button to push, I admire that. I don’t want or need any buttons to push, I have no ambition of working 9-5, that’s how you survive, I am not trying to survive, I want to thrive. I wish all the best to Kalushi and Stumza, maybe one day our dreams will metastasize but if not, UFAL was almost something beautiful. It still could be, maybe I was the problem and now that we live in different provinces you could execute the vision without me. I am willing to relinquish my 20% percent ownership stake if it means the success of the enterprise, after all 20% of nothing is still nothing and we invested way too much for it to amount to nothing.
Who told you I am a nice guy? I am a scoundrel, I live in dirt like an earth worm, I am slimly, slither like a snake and devour my own kind like I do to cake. I don’t care about you, I am scoundrel, itching for an opportunity to show you, but a stab in the back will do, stick it deep so it appears on the front to kill you. I will steal from you if you leave me unattended, empty the cash register so nothing comes out like you constipated. I am a scoundrel, I don’t care about your feelings. Dissect your heart and leave you helpless bleeding. Leave you with hyenas so the can start feeding or humiliate you just so I can hear pleading. I don’t care about anyone, I am a scoundrel, rape your grandmother in her house to prove I am a scoundrel. The lowest of the low, reeking alcohol from the pores and frequenting brothels at four. I am irredeemable from the core and accept bribes like cops. I am a scoundrel, I’d sacrifice you cause I don’t have a vice, reptilian pumping out ice and take your daughter cause she look nice. In the morning I am rolling dice, hungover from last night or pulling another heist. A scoundrel, Mr. Steal your money, spend it at the tarven and leave the family hungry, beat them for good measure because I paid the dowry. Screwing like a bunny and leaving baby mama’s with no honey. You can sue if you want to but I ain’t got no money. Who told you I am a nice guy? I am a scoundrel, I am what I am, I am a bad man.
I want an amazing life, no compromises because when Retshi died I promised things to myself and my life. Yea, I know what they say about promises and how keeping them is difficult but this was more of a vision of my life. It was subjective and heartfelt; I promised to be the best I could for him. I am more afraid of not living than dying, to be a carbon copy of everyone else and not understand what constitutes my essence, to be a slave of my impulses and not being able to regulate my emotions, to stand idle while my dreams disappear in the distance, to lose myself, to get swayed by novelty and not have an anchor that grounds me – that scares me, dying is easy and quicker. He lived a short life, he deserved more, his passing was tragic, he was a junior and he beamed with excitement at the prospect of being a senior, life had other plans and his life disappeared like an illusion, like mirrors, like it never happened. One moment he was there and the next he was gone like evaporation. Such is life, it’s all this big theatricality that disappears right before your eyes and metastasizes as something else if reincarnation is the correct hypothesis. The pictures he left behind became myths and his whole life mythological but at least he left a legend. Do his past friends and family members still remember him? Who cares? It’s like the past swallowed him into oblivion and irrelevance but I remember, I can’t quite forget about him like the feeling of nostalgia, he takes me back to simpler times. His death was honorable and respectful, he was loved, he metastasized into a hero, a noble soul and an inspiration to all, like Batman he became a symbol that transcended everyday living. You need to be deadman to be a hero and the successor to your deed needs to be alive, if both of you are still living then that’s just normal everyday living but you do have heroic characteristics. If everyone is dead, it becomes a massacre or to avoid hyperbole a draw. He fits the description of what it is to be a hero.
One nightmarish day, he jumped into the river in attempts to rescue a boy who was swallowed in the deep end, drowning, gasping for air with water flooding his body and his senses failing him. The little boy was doomed with no saviors to watch you from the bay, no Pamela Anderson with her volaptious titties to save the day, it was a swim in the river the little boy would dread. He must have saw the white light and angels singing choruses. Out of nowhere, like he was Godsent, Retshi jumped in and saved a drowning soul on the steps of heaven from perishing but he drowned and died instead. The biggest sacrifice one can make. “Damn! Just like that? He lives, and he dies? That’s not fair!” I realize my protests are futile, I just wish he didn’t jump in because then we’d still have him. I know my reasoning is selfish, spiteful, arrogant and doesn’t take into consideration the person he was even at a young age, but morality is suspended from my reasoning and discourse, I am not perfect, I am flawed, unworthy, a sinner and maybe I hate him for being the reason that my friend is gone. Yes of course, I know, Retshi is going to save some drowning kid his never met before because he was considered a good swimmer, he was tall, had a good heart and empathy of the highest order. There’s solace in that his death was ordained by the God’s, he did what came naturally to him, he didn’t have to think twice and today someone reaps the fruits of that decision. There’s also the fact that he loved swimming and so he was killed with his own dagger, the irony, poetic justice. I can’t blame him or be rueful of the past because I too appreciated the qualities he had as a human being. He had a pure soul, he loved to help, was empathic, a good listener, calm and just chilled – he was my best friend. Although I wish he hadn’t acted, I understand and I respect him even more.
When he died, I cried and mourned his life. Before his death, we had a fight and didn’t talk to each other for a week and now he was gone. It was a stupid fight that holds no weight but pride prevented us from squashing the beef and now that fight is the last memory I have of him. Just like that my friend of many years, who lived on the same street died, it was serious, it was fatal and nobody could ressurect him. It was over and I was never going to see him again, it crushed my spirit and heaven couldn’t provide consolations. When he died, I wanted to achieve great things for him, to let the world know that he was still here operating in the spirit with us. I asked his spirit to be with me, to inhabit me, that we would share this meaty body in the three dimensional world. He has always been with me and motivated my decisions for the future. Having and knowing him changed my life, he made a mark and I am constantly haunted by my mortality, I am aware that things might switch up at any moment, that I mustn’t take life for granted, that everyday is a blessing and an opportunity to live out your best life. I am still fighting for an amazing life not just for me but for my friend who never got his chance. An amazing life for me is one with excess capital to create, make my dreams come true, to love and help as many people as I can. I want to make a contribution that is everlasting for humanity, but maybe none of that matters, the universe is in a constant flux and everything perishes. The ego is an illusion, no one will remember me, no one really cares and nothing matters in any case.
This is dedicated to my friend who died saving someone else, thank you for the lessons, memories and absolutely everything, as long as I am alive, you are alive – forever alive in our memories.
RETSHI – he had Respect, Empathy, stood Tall, was Special, was Hercules amongst us, let him always be our Inspiration.
Remember that you are going to die. It’s inescapable, everyday you are nearing the end. The good time, the bitches, the alcohol it’s all temporary. What isn’t temporary is your legacy, what have you done for the next generation? Your kids, did you do all that you can to ensure they have a better life? Are you proud of the life you have led? Is life better because you existed? Forget about friends, they don’t have your best interests at heart. They will leave you, it’s all a matter of time. To tell you the truth, they don’t care all that much about you, they are living their own lives and running their own race. What have you done for yourself? You came into this world alone and you are going to exit alone, consider that. No one really cares about you. You have to do that for yourself, maintain your composure, take one step at a time and head for your dreams, accomplish your goals, believe in the magic that’s you and never give up. What people say or think about you doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is your opinion about yourself. Have good thoughts about yourself, don’t say things that make you weak, empower yourself, have pride, be confident. Wake up, wake up, wake up! Fight for freedom, for truth and keep going because winners don’t quit on themselves. You can accomplish it, your wildest dreams, stay concentrated, keep moving and have patience. Make the right choices, adopt the right habits, habits are destiny. Remember that you are going to die, life is impermanence, elevate your perspective to have a broader view of life, refrain from acting in the moment, consider the cosmic events of things – everything is cause and effect, show love and it will come back to you. Do things today that will serve you tomorrow. Embrace positivity and you will lead a positive life. Stick with things that enable you to grow, be with the people who want the best for you and let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. Every step, moment, counts, stand for something, be brave, walk alone, risk ridicule, never be afraid of being who you truly are. Everything dissipates, the stars lose their shine, day becomes night and the youth lose their enthusiasm. In the end we all perish, we become dust and our memory is forgotten. You are going to die, it’s a certainty, heaven can’t save you and God approves of it. Enjoy today, be in the moment, be like a child, see the wonder in everything, do everything that you can, today might be your last day on earth. Remember you are going to die, stop postponing what you can do now, today. Have urgency, move with purpose, time is not on your side, everyday you are close to death. Relegate fear to the side, it’s not life-affirming, it won’t save you, it’s useless. Instead be fearless, live like today might be your last day because it might. Do everything that you have ever wanted because life is brief. There is no tomorrow only the the eternal now. Memento Mori my friend, stop wasting time, everything that you need is already within, the outside world can’t offer you anything. Stand grounded, keep your head down, keep moving, be humble, be grateful for the magnificence of life, love and you will attract beautiful things in your map of experience. Memento Mori my friend, remember that you are going to die, do all that you can with the time that you have.
I’ll take it from here, relax you’re tired, you can’t go further that this. Time has elapsed and you’re no longer the shit. It’s alright, it happens to the best of us. Impermanence means that things never last, the bones stultify and everything turns into dust. You were good but your prime is in the past. I’ll takeover culture now, I am younger, faster and I’ll milk any cow, to make cheese, I’ll settle the invoices, mute voices and make time freeze. I’ve got the equation for immortality, win without technicality and walk on water casually. I’ll takeover culture, I am the best, I’ve beaten all the rest, repel bullets without a vest and breath fire with my chest. Checkmate, this is chess, you disposable like a pawn, fucked on camera like a porn and I am here to save your soul like the lord. Relax, let me handle this, the drinks are on me, unlimited with variety cause everything is on me. I’ll takeover culture you’re bound, conflicted with new found responsibilities you can’t play the sound, I got speakers and they loud, blasting to serve a whole nation or a crowd. I’ve been here from the start, serving people with my art and pumping blood into the organism like a heart. I am consciousness, five world cup tournaments like Messi and I am not done, it’s about to get messy, have you on your knees begging for mercy cause I have longevity like Pepsi. I’ll takeover culture, the ladies love me, lips irresistible and plump, they all kiss me, I’ve been everywhere cause they all lease me, I’ll takeover, the culture needs me.
antakalipa 