Friends II: Peer Pressure

Friends II: Peer Pressure

Whose got your best interests at heart? Just because we grew up together don’t mean anything. We could be just a fad or a very long one night stand. We could be a product of peer pressure or maybe adolescence. The longing to fit in a social dynamic, a psychological phenema that defines the human condition. Who did you take your first sip of beer with? That shared experience bonds us like fetus with its mother, it is primal like your family tree, it binds like an imprint. Do we have shared beliefs or using each other to reaffirm the suffering that’s prevalent in our lives. Are we codependent narcissists reflecting our biases like a mirror? Who holds the frame in our relationship? Did we out grow our adolescence years or still stuck in the rut fighting for our independence and carving out a self-identity? Is it a power-strugle or someone is passive? Is our mutual undertaking enhancing the quality of our lives? Are we vibrating to the betterment of humankind? Or is it just peer pressure, the opportunity to try out the drug, be well-liked and fuck bitches? Do l have a void that’s being exploited like a flank that keeps me from being the best that I can be? Do I have childhood repressions that enable me to commit the same mistakes? Do I subconsciously hate and sabotage myself? Am I being manipulated by external factors? Are you using me? Can I trust someone outside of myself? Do I have friends? I don’t trust anyone proclaiming to the world that we friends because that’s usually followed by a stab in the back. You? Best friends with who? Why do you feel the need to tie me down in front of an audience? What are you hiding? What are your intentions? Why do you need to make a show of it? Don’t I know that you are a friend? Are you really a friend or a foe? Do I still need you in my life?

There we go again, trying to explain what just is. Words give us comfort because they attempt to create meaning in an otherwise meaningless world. Everything is a fabrication of the mind and we control nothing outside of ourselves. Everything is an illusion and you are hallucinating reality. What you call friends is YOU reflected back, your values, your character and your beliefs about yourself. The universe just is and you only attract the things that are true for you. You are energy, a spirit, having a human experience. Everything starts with you, all is mind and you have all the power. Peer pressure exists because you haven’t mastered yourself and are still operating under somebody’s frame. If you love yourself, love will gravitate around you and you will have what people in this dimension call “good friends” who love you and will aid you in times of distress. That’s how Nelson Mandela defeated apartheid, with the irrefutable truth of the injustices of the system, it defined him, he was immovable and he attracted friends from all around the world who aided him in defeating the unjust oppressors of the crooked system. Friends like life are impermanent, they are aids who assist as you progress through the evolution of life. Friends are a timeline of life and current mindset as you progress through it. Friends are a direct reflection of you, If you have suspect friends than you have a suspect character. We progress in the direction of our 5 closest friends. We are all judged by the company we keep. Guard who and what you welcome in your life, be mindful when you are flirting with the devil.

Urban poet Kanye West once stated “They say people in your life are seasons and anything that happens is for a reason”, that summarizes this post in a couple of lines. Who are you currently “vibing” with? Vibing of course is colloquial for vibration. The people you are vibing with currently reveal your tastes, your beliefs, your character, your social status and position, your dreams, your destiny. The people who you are vibing with are a direct reflection of who you are. In essence, they are your friends and you are your friends. Everybody has friends, who are yours? My past friends were backstabbers infested with jealousy so I stopped associating with them because they reflected something I was not. I am not a fan of fake smiles and poisonous praise. Deception leaks like a faltering pipe. I always look for the best in people but I expect the worst to balance out the equation. Time and time again I am disappointed with human nature but the effect has lost its potency so I am more understanding of narcissistic tendencies and irrationalities, I know what to expect, I know when to exit like a trader scalping the market. Friends are supposed to change because you are constantly evolving. Anything that isn’t growing or evolving is dying. If we are evolving together then that’s special, for you are the source of my growth, you help me get better, you inspire me, you care about me, you see yourself in my image, you are my friend for a lifetime and I appreciate you and the value you bring to my life. Adolescence is just a phase and peer pressure is just two words lined up next to each other, an excuse to shift responsibilities, the truth is that you want it like an addict whether you consciously acknowledge it or not.

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FRIENDS

FRIENDS.

They are Barzinin’ you, watch out for the traitors! How do you know if you have good friends? That’s difficult considering the structure of reality. Defining reality is difficult and complicated because we reside in an ocean of phenomena that we don’t know nor understand. Like consciousness, we don’t know what it is, where it is located and how we can account for it. We also have cognitive biases that our minds can’t control. Which leads to the question. Are we in control of our actions or just a program dictated by socio-economic factors, peers and family? Are our thoughts, really our thoughts? Are we the autonomous creatures we would like to think of ourselves? The truth is that we are a byproduct of our ancestors, a continuation of the human thread, the progression of evolution. As such we have evolved to be in sync with our environment to survive. Being in sync with the environment and nature helped with food, this is important because food helps with the survival of a species. Being in sync with the environment helped us recognize patterns around all nature. It helped us create order in a world overwhelmed with chaos. It helped create structures. It helped create time, time is a man-made construction. It helped us predict cycles so we could perfect models like agriculture which was the heart of the industrial revolution. This evidence strongly suggests that we are a product of our environment. It does not only hold true for human beings, this is exhibited in all the ecosystems of the animal kingdom. Harsh conditions makes it impossible for life to flourish, it is for that reason that grass doesn’t grow in the dessert, however we do have life in the dessert. Life that flourishes in the dessert has adapted to the conditions and internalized its surroundings. For the evolution of the species, it was do or die, it is at the mercy of its environment to make it. This makes sense because if nuclear hits the planet, it would be difficult for any life to flourish. We are our environment, our socio-economic status, our friends and families. You can make the claim that even our ideas and thoughts are not our own. We are influenced by everything all around us, the books we read, the media, our peers, families and even our ancestors. Everything about us, we are taught by the culture all around us. Everything is stored by the subconscious mind and it further runs a program of our lives based on the data that it receives. The data, your thoughts become your reality. And so, it makes sense to be in an environment that is sustainable to your growth. It makes sense to be around people who are like-minded, that will help you reach your destination faster, it will help with the program of your life. It makes sense to be around good friends and family members. By nature man is gregarious, meaning that he has always relied on others to survive and thrive. The saying “no man is an Island” holds true because we need the assistance of others to progress in the hierarchical world, we need other people to assist in regards to finding a mate to construct a future with or at the bare minimal to reproduce to sustain the legacy, to sustain life. We can’t choose our family but at least we can choose our friends and mates. Choosing the right partner and friends is the most important decision of your life, it is literally the difference between a good life and a horrid existence – it has the power to define your whole life and the trajectory to which it moves. Life is characterized by the company we keep, our environment, dominant thoughts, the culture we were born into and our conceptions about the structure of reality. With that said, how do you know if you have a good friend?

This is difficult to assess because by nature human beings are very deceptive creatures, we lie, get jealous, kill and camouflage ourselves to be well-liked or gain positions of power. True power is not rising to the top with an iron fist, or deceit or propaganda, its truthful collaboration with others with the intent of finding a common ground. This is the essence of sales, this is the fundamental law of the business of life. Of course, that’s not how things operate because all of life is full of deception. Lions hide in the grass to get to their preys. Human beings are consummate actors and wear masks to conceal their intentions. These masks form what is called a “persona” and these personas and masks change depending on the people we meet. Human beings are not linear creatures, they are unpredictable and highly volatile. Human beings are not constant and can change at the snap of the finger. This is an evolutionary trait, the ability to adapt to different environments and survive. Be wary of anything a human being says because 9/10 times, it’s an attempt to deceive you. Never take anything that a human being says to you at face value to be accurate, in fact, what another human being says to you is irrelevant, it doesn’t mean anything – look at the actions and you’ll have your answers. Human beings are liars. It is engrained in their DNA. It is nature. From as early as 3 months an infant will fake a cry to get the attention of his/her caregiver. Beware of the false prophet who professes to have all the answers. All is fair in love and war. Words are super strength power for Superman like they are for a human being. Words are a superpower. Words mask true intentions. They deceive. They lead astray. They are poison. They make you yield. They manipulate and control. Someone professing to love you doesn’t mean anything and anybody saying his a friend is not necessarily a friend. It’s doublespeak, an attempt to lower your guard. This evidence suggests that deceit works and hence, we do it unconsciously. Deceit gives you momentary momentum and short consistent strides can elevate you to the top of the hierarchy. This is what life is all about, who has the better hand? All of life is a game, guard your winning cards and strategize your moves for maximum output. You best attack is defense, understand words don’t mean anything and they can never get to you. Action is the true language of the Universe. 

Luckily we have ways to spot a good friend. A true friend is one who acts more than he talks. A true friend always shows his values. A true friend is someone who wants the best for you. It’s someone who recognizes you as his brother or sister. A true friend will never let somebody talk ill of you in his presence. A true friend is not a gossip. A true friend has a growth-mentality. A true friend is one who motivates you to being the best that you can be. A true friend understands that if you do great, then the whole of humanity benefits. A true friend is someone who celebrates your great news like they were his. A true friend is someone who is emphatic and assists at times of great distress. A true friend is someone who listens to your boring long story and stays engaged with it. If you tell your friend something and they start making the conversation about them, switching it up, telling you about some grander thing that happened to them, then sorry, you do not have a friend. A true friend cares about what you have to say because it pertains to your well-being. A true friend would never break your frame. Besides, this is about reciprocity, one day they will do the same for you; would you appreciate it if your friend took the spotlight off you? A true friend doesn’t change because the love is organic and has compounded over the years, it serves as the permanent persona in his structure of being. A true friend treats you like how he treats himself. A true friend talks positively about you because he sees himself/herself in you and is grateful to be acquainted with you. A true friend is someone who wants you to grow because selfishly, it will make him/her better. A true friend will always be on your side and advise you of your shortcomings. A true friend makes the initiative. A true friend loves being in your company. A true friend makes you feel good about yourself. A true friend helps you crystalize your thoughts so they are at least clear to you. You cannot be afraid of telling your friend how you feel or your good news. If your friend doesn’t know anything real about you, then they are not a friend. A true friend is a crutch, something that will help you to stand up when your legs give up on you. It is difficult to find a true friend because a true friend is somebody who loves you and to have that mutual connection is WOW; this is because life is difficult and we live in a capitalistic system that says to survive, you have to discredit and kill another. It is a system fostered on greed and monopolistic power and control. This means sooner rather than later, egos clash and the end result is a massacre. When you have a true friend, egos take the back seat because you both understand that it’s not real. Friendship is a mutual contract of love, collaboration and understanding.

Be with people who want the best for you. This shapes your reality and dictates what is projected onto the objective world. People who want the best for you want you to progress. They are a nurturing place for dreams. They help you move forward in the world. They have a herd mentality that is infectious and is dictated by the unconscious force of winning. Birds of the same feathers flock together. Understand your environment. Understand the purpose of the people in your life. This is important because this will dictate your thoughts and thoughts are life energy. Understand what you want to achieve out of life and strive to get it with the aid of like-minded individuals. Like-minded individuals are friends because you all share the same goal. The goal of winning the soccer World Cup final. Weed out people who are not conducive to the way you want to live. Weed out people who have no utility in your life. Weed out people who make you drift. Weed out the people whose words are not in line with their actions. This will keep your mind clear and you’ll be able to make better informed decisions. Fake friends camouflage themselves in a crowd of people so they can take a shot. They do this maim you, to assassinate your character, to get you to lose confidence in yourself. They do this with passive aggressive language disguised as jokes or something to take lightly, and as we know, it’s not jokes and it’s not funny. Eliminate them swiftly and clear the room as soon as possible. This will give you room to see an attack when it’s coming. It will enable you to better prepare your tactics. There is nothing worse than being killed by a cowardice accident murderer. Someone who lurks in the dark like a thief in the night. No, when you kill a king it has to be in the presence of everyone. Get rid of the toxic influences in your life. Get rid of people who project negative things onto you; “you can’t do it, not me!” We all have insecurities that is not an excuse to break someone’s frame, in order to feel good about yourself. Stay away from angry people. Stay away from unlucky people. Being around fake friends is dangerous because they can make deals that spell out your demise. You’ll never see it coming too because of their fake genuine smiles. Do you know how they are going to get to you? Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. Be prepared. Keep your circle small and concentrate your forces, you can delegate and outsource everything else. Keep your mind clean because the Universe is mental. If you do not have a true friend, it’s fine, it’s better to navigate the world alone than to have pretenders by your side, it’s better to not delude yourself, it’s better to stand alone – you will stretch farther. You will lead a more fulfilled life, you will be strengthened by your truth and the gates of reality will open up more for you. You will attract genuine things, you will be happier.  

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GANGSTER

GANGSTER

We all try. I think that human beings are inherently good but our circumstances and environment dictate our destiny. How can I be like the picture perfect people on my screens when I am primed to be incarcerated. Surrounded by drugs, violence, guns, death and sex. I am hungry, I want to get to the top and there’s no telling what I might do to get there, pushing you under the bus is a small price to pay for the rest of my life. If you stand in between me and my meal ticket, I won’t hesitate smashing you with a bat behind your head leading to your eye popping out the socket onto the floor. I like gangster shit, that’s how you get things done. If they won’t give me what I want then I’ll take it by force with the help of Mr. 9 mm and if you want war, his cousin AK-47 is keeping watch and ready to unload a hail of bullets on your unconscious, lifeless body. There’s an attraction to being a gangster, who wouldn’t want the autonomy of doing what they wanted, to be feared, respected and idolized. Cause gangsters can do anything they want, they can fuck any girl they want, they have all the money, the get preferential treatment, they drive the latest cars, they kill at will and government officials are in their pockets. Gangsters just don’t give a fuck, honorable mention ‘Crazy’ Joe Gallo, he did anything he wanted like kidnapping his bosses without the threat of any repercussions, he just didn’t give a shit, he lived on the darkside, it engulfed his actions, he loved the chaos, he loved being a gangster! Stealing from you is my pleasure and if you make trouble for me I’ll beat you up so bad you’ll start feeding from a straw, that’s if I don’t kill you and your whole offspring. Also, you need to start paying me for protection or your business is going under. I am not interested in the soldiers on the ground, they are disposable and will rat on you to get immunity, I am more interested in high ranking officials of Cosa Nostra like Michael Corloene or having my own Capo like Anthony Soprano. They have a code of ethics and values they live by and they won’t hesitate to splatter your brains like tomato juice if you cross the line. Fredo was a stupid and careless Underboss who compromised the future of the family and had to die, he broke a simple code, a simple law known Universally, “the boss is the boss, never outshine the master”.

Everyone rats, police can flip anyone with the promise of immunity and witness protection programs, we saw this on Goodfellas with Henry Hill ratting on all his friends. The look on Jimmy Conway’s face when Henry pointed at him from the stand was one of betrayal but he knows the game, survival triumphs everything. Would you rather serve a 100 years in prison instead? The Godfather and The Sopranos was no different, it seems that the only people who can’t rat on you are the dead ones. The decision to fly in Frank Pentangeli’s brother for the deposition was a masterstroke from Michael Corloene and once again, he saved the family. Pentangeli nearly fucked things for the Corleone family as multiple counts of perjury faced Michael. And despite being Tony’s best friend for a lifetime, Pussy took a deal and conspired to bring Tony Soprano down. He wore wires, leaked information to the authorities and compromised the whole organization. Luckily Tony got to the bottom of it and along with the crew ended Pussy’s life with a hail of bullets. Your best friend of many decades, your family, they will rat on you if it serves their best interests! Being a gangster is all about self-preservation. To be in the game is to understand the stakes, death is on the corner and can happen anytime. You won’t see it too, if you are in a crew nobody’s going to tell you that you are going to get whacked, it just happens. In a world of deceit and ruthlessness paranoia triumphs and it’s easier to take everyone out like on Casino, cause a dead witness can’t say anything. Strictly business, nothing personal. I could be a gangster cause morality doesn’t matter in a Universe were everything ultimately perishes. At least now I benefit, I get the the drugs, fuck bitches, wear quality clothes, drive expensive cars and live in Mansions as big as Tony Montanas. I could paint houses for Russell Buffalino and Jimmy Hoffa following instructions to the smallest detail. I could be a gangster, I am not a 9 to 5 guy, the money is too slow and the hours too long. I rather pull the trigger to end your life in a second and make a fortune. I could be a gangster because life is already a game of self-preservation and power struggles, why not play on a professional level? I could be a gangster cause I was born in the hood, I know what happens in the hood, I understand people and what motivates them and I can dominate the hood. I could be a gangster, maybe not a Mob boss or the head of my own Capo but I’ll be the best damn soldier on the ground. I could be a gangster cause Machiavelli taught me its better to be feared than loved and I think his right. I could be a gangster, I am reasonable, ambitious and a strategist like Vito Corleone, I have it in me to build an empire from the ground up. Killing in cold blood? That’s a small prize to pay for greatness, a war needs casualties and I’d be prepared to make that sacrifice. After all, everybody dies and the deaths would be justified, I am an honorable and fair man. Threats, intimidation and extortion I could be a gangster, my objective is power and the fear from your eyes gives me a rush. I could be a gangster cause they don’t want to give me what’s due to me so I’ll take it! I could be a gangster, cause we all try.

“Wait! Don’t shoot Gangster! I am you and you are me”.

Porn Star III: 9 to 5

Porn Star III: 9 to 5

I love sex, I worship sex. It’s how I make my living, ass up face down, I am a sexual athlete. People outside of porn talk a lot about degradation but it’s all relative. Pornography is sexual creativity, it’s dirty, taboo and appeals to your wildest erotic fantasies. Porn is not the same as making love to your girl, like “don’t kiss me, just fuck me and cum on my damn face”. Still I understand with all the spitting, strangling, punching and fisting. No one cares if it hurts or if that big dick tears up your asshole. Sometimes it gets dark and difficult thats why you need to know why you are doing this. You might get booked for an anal scene with 3 guys despite the fact that you don’t do anal. The money is good and you need to get your career off the ground, so you clean your ass and prepare yourself for your first anal experience. A lot of pornstars go into the business with the objective of being famous, that it can somehow be a backdoor to Hollywood but it never works out like that. Meryl Streep never took two dicks in her ass on camera but you can get famous and have the adoration of the world. Only if you do your job and be professional. Being on time and being professional will get you far in this industry. This is because bookings are not reliable, so when you take the initiative and come early for your scheduled bookings you are seen and acknowledged and that leads to more jobs. The girls who are after fame never last in this business. It’s the girls who lead normal lives outside porn who do, they never associate with other porn people, they simply do their jobs, clock out, get paid and return home to their families. I know of famous pornstars who can’t pay their rent. The lifespan of a pornstar is brief, one day you wake up and the industry decides that you are overshot, a dinosaur, a fossil and so you need to be wise and save money. You need to know why you are doing this. Is it for the money, the fame or are you addicted to sex? There’s also the case of younger and tighter pussy taking you out the game. Doing 5 guys has its repercussions, especially if it’s black guys. Despite the negative press, we are entertainment, this is show business and porn is mainstream bigger than the music industry. Granted no one will admit to consuming porn but everyone does and we do all this for you – the fans. We do this to entertain you and I can’t lie for the money, I make more money than a brain surgeon. When I was a dancer I didn’t make much money because I didn’t fuck my clients. I learned the hard way that you need to suck dick to get to the top. You might as well do it with a professional who knows what they are doing and who has been screened and declared healthy by a doctor. Porn made things better as I don’t have to worry about STD’s and HIV. Sure porn is fantasy but the diseases are not. I am happy even though I don’t have friends and family. Besides, I am always working and I have pet dog who loves me to death and keeps me company. I have a lot of fans. I am happy. I lost my virginity when I was 13 and by 18, I had already had sex with 98 people. One might say I was primed to be a pornstar from a young age. I love what I do and the attention it grants me, I feel validated and seen. People outside of porn are more perverse and dirty than the people inside the industry because they consume and demand the product. All the anal scenes, weird hedonistic and pervasive fetishes all shot to quench your thirst and bring fantasy to your ritualistic insipid lives. The more crazy and outlandish, the better. Doing anal will get you the best gigs with the biggest studios who have the best locations, best sets, best lighting and make-up. The big studios are more professional and they actually treat you like a human being. They show you care and love. I love shooting with them. I love what I do and I plan on doing it until my time sets down or when it stops being fun and exciting. Yes there are negatives working in this industry like crazed out, obsessive fans who lack proportion and can’t keep boundaries, a smelly vagina, exposure to sicknesses and diseases but the positives outweigh all the negatives. It’s just like any other job with its negatives and positives.