Goat

The cry of Winnie Mandela

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The cry of Winnie Mandela

At the Market Theatre to watch “The cry of Winnie Mandela”. If you had the opportunity and honor of asking the mother of nation a couple of questions, what would they be? Stompie? TRC? Mandela FC? Her 400+ days in prison? Why her union with Nelson didn’t last and what could she have done better if anything?

The show starts off with a writer thinking out loud, watching a news bulletin about the murder of Stompie. It is alleged that the Mandela FC team kidnapped and murdered him. There’s uproar and chaos considering Mandela FC is Winnies team. “She changed, she’s not the same person. She used to be warm, empathetic and compassionate, but now I don’t recognize her” – these are some of the sentiments expressed from the screen from commentators. The writer is in a room, he is thoughtful, he wants to write Winnies story from her vantage point. Then four african women appear from his imagination. They are real women, full of personality and quirks. They are humorous, they give the show color, range and dimension. The four women share their stories with the crowd about how their husband’s left and they are still waiting. The stories are personal and emotive, they test their resilience, resolve and character. The crippling angst of loneliness, one woman explores Can Thembas “The Suit” set in Sophiatown about a woman who commits adultery. She too flirts with the idea of committing adultery. One of the women is easy prey for a young man who targets her because she is isolated and alone, they engage in casual intercourse but it stops when the rumors in the townships start circulating. One of the ladies man leaves her for a white woman after she was his backbone, supporting him and his dreams. The women call out the double standards, would he wait for her if she left? The ideas of patience, commitment and resilience are put through a microscope. The ladies want to know how Winnie was able to do it. They play a game which results in Winnie Mandela magically appearing. The ladies are awestruck and commence showering her with questions. Questions about her and Nelson, the TRC, her days in captivity and her secrets to resilience. She answers them with a lot of personality. The last image of the play is off a quote about her being happy with everything and how she would never change anything.

The show is simply wonderful. The performers are real, familiar and relatable. It was easy to connect with the characters because they made themselves vulnerable so early on. The interactions with each other on the stage felt natural. You knew the characters on the stage, they felt alive. Language was not a barrier, words from other languages was borrowed for expression and authenticity. It was not language for the sake of form but language for expression and the story world. When the performers performed, their faces lit up. They fiercely delivered their monologues and sang with a lot of passion and love. The lighting was cool, I saw one detail that blew me away. On the floor you could see the reflection of a window. The show is simply irresistible!

Les Nkosi plays Prof. Ndebele (writer) , Rami Chuene plays Mannete, Ayanda Sibisi plays Delisiwe, Pulane Rampoana plays Mamello, Siyasanga Papu plays Marara and Thembisa Mdoda-Nxumalo plays Winnie Mandela.

Congratulations Momo Mansunyane and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

UNDISPUTED

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UNDISPUTED

I am undisputed, champion of the world, greatness is constituted by God and the style prostituted by pussy ass niggas who attempt to fuck up the world with what I initiated but you lack charisma and you just hated. You can never climax at the top even if you masterbated while I come all night, all day, implanting seeds in your mind to make you grow and make this dough. I am undisputed, on top of mount everest, beating everybody to prove I am the best, pull the plug on your ass to give you permanent rest, why because I can, prohibited like a ban, flow crazy deserves to be in the can, Mr. Steal your girl and defeat your man. Damn! I’ve been winning ever since, where yall niggas, making light work on you like mince, secretive like a sphinx, I’ve been winning ever since, where yall niggas? Who wants to challenge me niggas? I am undisputed, sitting on a Throne that I looted, took it from a weakling king that I booted, banished him from his castle and he left muted. I am the one, I wear the crown and I am far from done, illuminate the town like the sun, head down to penetrate the cunt, sorry, I’m obscene, sometimes I paint pictures with my words to create a scene, if this were a horror movie, you would scream cause I devour punani like cream! I am undisputed, everything you see is mine, look at the signs, obey and we will be fine, wanna be a hero and we will take it aside, turn you into a sweater and make your insides your outside.

Bitter Winter

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Bitter Winter

The tedium of going to castings, you risk it all and gain nothing for your efforts, you saw people who are just like you in the waiting room, some even prettier than you, willing to do the same job, what’s done is done. The casting director lady has seen it all, the frizzling enthusiasm of youth vanish. First couple of months, you had the spirit, but lately you just coming in to mark the register, until you win or lose hope. You thought you did your best and that you’d get the part, so you wait and wait for a call that never comes. Indifference, it’s like you don’t exist. Agitated and flooding with anxiety, you offered to shoot the scene again but were met with “No thanks, that’s not necessary, we have everything we need”. There’s nothing you can do, it’s not in your hands. They decided against you the moment you left the room, meanwhile you’re living in hope, painting dreams in your mind that never come to fruition. Broke. A nobody. That call back is everything, you get another chance, the chance to meet the director, this could be it.

I was at the Pieter Toerien Theatre for the opening of the Paul Slabolepszy’s, play “Bitter Winter”. Amazing play, brilliant in it’s execution. I was with SamSays, we were in B3 and B4 – at the very front. Thank you Collett Dawson for the weekend. Alan Committee was super great the day before with his show “Olympic Gold”. He is up on the podium with a Gold medal with that performance: incredible delivery, quick witted, energetic, on his feet, interactive, very humorous and just a straight-up banger! Comedians are the cleverest people, providing social commentary, reflecting reality in a humorous undertone and helping us mould our human existence in an environment where everything goes, I was laughing throughout, it takes a lot of hard work and mastery to be Alan Committee, he makes it look so easy, so effortless, the show is just pure comedy gold.

The play is set in a Casting directors office, call back, two guys are cast, old has been guy, with present guy. Present guy is angry and hostile at first, his character arc progresses and he opens up to the old has been guy, that’s when he starts being open with us, the audience, music on his headphones is off and put away. He walks in the scene avoident and closed off, secluded, trapped on his phone, listening to music on his phone – Kendrick Lamar “Money Trees”. Present guy is cast as the main guy, the old man is led into believing that he is cast for the role, only to reveal in the last minute that he is not cast. Someone from overseas filled the role. The play has a lot of heart. It is beaufully craft, perfect in a way that only art can be, excuted by performers who love what they do – the performers were extraordinary, performing with purpose, being in the moment, embodying the craft. The show has personality and quirks, it is relatable and humorous. As the play progressed we learned about the protagonists lives, their families, their past, we became invested. The set was office-like, backdrop, Jozi. Andre Odendaal plays Jean-Louis Lourens, the old has been guy. Oarabile Ditsele plays Prosper Mangane, the present guy. Chantal Stanfield plays Felicia Willemse, the casting director lady. The play is just brilliant. Congratulations Lesedi Job and the whole team and a deserved standing ovation.

Winner

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Winner

I am a winner, I am competitive, I never stop. I create systems and follow through until I am on top. The pick of the crop, my reign showers fields to ensure supply never stops, I deliver and demand triumphs a cops. Most wanted, five star performance every time, rig the game to take your last dime. I am a winner, better than a sinner, focus intensified better than a fat man at dinner, come close and I’ll kill ya, leave you bloodied like an encounter with a spinner. I am simply better, leave your girl wetter, have the public write you off, we don’t need no letter. I am a winner, I am always number one, the spotlight is on me, you’ll get it when I am done, who can stand alongside me, the answer is none, nobody can fuck with me like a nun. I am the best, the leader of any conquest, I’ll give you preferential treatment cause you just a guest but if you get on my face I’ll doom your ass cause you’ll be a pest. I am a winner, I have all the trophies, the budget is high so we don’t tolerate no low fees, bro please, stand aside so I can teach you how to appease, I am the consciousness of culture, haters in circles over my body like a vulture but I’ve got reserves stacked up like vouchers. I go overtime, I kill to solve the crime, get dirty to remove the grime and stand on the Throne to show its mine. I am a winner, I’ve got the calves to prove it, I’ve got stamina. A marathon runner with the speed of a sprinter. Penetrate resistance like a splinter, go deep like coitus in winter. I am a winner and all I do is win, win, win no matter what, I am always the victor.

My Fair Lady

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My Fair Lady

Opening day of My Fair Lady at the Teatro, my first time, the theatre is exquisite, what a beauty! I asked Sam if “bestest” was a word after the show, she replied “no but it’s usable”. Greenlight, the show is amazing, somehow “best” is not enough, I need another “est” to transcend this post. It’s simply a perfect show, no flaws, no imperfections, just your definition of excellence. From the acting, to the lighting, choreography, script, sets, orchestra and the Maestro, singing, props, costumes, feel, mood, everything. It is story-telling at the highest level. A witty musical that had the audience laughing all the way through. The story follows Henry Higgins who believes accent and English can get you to the very top of society. Just maybe “bestest” is not a good idea for this post. She meets a meager girl, with a strange accent, Eliza Doolittle and makes a wager with his friend Colonel Pikering, a fellow phenetics expert. He wins, he’s right, with Henry Higgins help, Eliza ends up dancing with a foreign prince at the ball. Things started coming right after “The rain in Spain”.

Craig Urbani who plays Henry Higgins deserves special praise for his performance. He is unbelievably great! He commands the show, the acting is out of this world. He has incredible range, he can make you laugh, he can make you sad, he sings, he dances, he acts, he is incredible. His viewpoint on women makes me laugh, he doesn’t understand them, he wants to know, why can’t they be like men, why can’t they just be like him. He covers how women ruin lives on “I am an ordinary man”, a humurous piece that had the audience laughing out loud.

Graham Hopkins is a legend, he plays Colonel Pickering, like Craig, he does everything, he is humorous, he is engaging, he is superb! Leah Mari who plays Eliza Doolittle is amazing, unbelievable, the singing is outstanding, the acting top-class and she’s just gorgeous! It would be a great injustice if I left out Mark Richardson who played Eliza’s father Doolittle, he is on the same level of the other cast members, he too is great on every front.

Music by Frederick Loewe
Musical direction by Kevin Kraak
Designed by Greg King
Choreography by Duane Alexander
Sound Design by Mark Malherbe
Lighting designer by Dennis Hutchinson
Original Costume Designer Neil Stuart Harris
Costume Co-ordinator Martha Visage
Additional costumes Andrew Botha

Congratulations Steven Stead and the whole team for the bestest show ever and a deserved standing ovation.

Musical Chairs

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Musical Chairs

I’ve been struggling with my own significance for the whole day. 11:11 when I checked my phone, angel numbers, everything is in perfect alignment. I know the ego is a fabrication of the mind. A dirty trick that makes me believe I matter. How many people would miss me if everything turned to black? Who will remember me? What legacy did I leave behind? Nothing, I don’t exist. 4:44 time to prepare for the theatre, Musical Chairs is on. I get to Sandton, almost On the square, the Gautrain station in sight, then out of nowhere, with a lot of speed, from a corner, a car approaches me, I duck but it connects and hits my left leg, shook but I regain my balance, it’s not bad and I don’t fall but it hurts. I look in the distance thinking it’s a hit and run but the driver reverses. White guy, white Hyandai, in a hurry, he wasn’t paying attention. I am relieved, at least he has some humanity. It’s awkward for him, he doesn’t know what to say. I reassure him and thank him for coming back to check up on me. I tell him it’s cool, it’s okay, I can still walk but you hurt me. I was so close to the theatre, I am basically there, I let it go, I escaped, what’s done is done. I shook his hand and limped my way to the theatre to go watch Musical Chairs.

11:11 the show was stunning. From the lighting, music, dancing and minimalistic set. It was spellbinding, attention glued, difficult to take your eyes off the stage. I don’t think I even took a sip of my water. Everything lost relevance, the stage was the center of the Universe. Nothing mattered but the performers on the stage, they were simply amazing. It is story-telling like I have never seen before. No dialogue, no words, just dance and movement. It was expressive, energetic and moving. You understood the story, the story about inclusion, exclusion, relevance, validation – please like me, see me, I matter. For most of the show, the dancers fight for seats because there aren’t enough. A seat means you are a part of the group, a clique, relevance, validation, you matter. When you don’t have a seat, you are excluded, out in the cold, no one cares about you. Sophisticated metaphor about the world of social media. Social media is the pulse of the show. You want that seat, the performers on the stage fight to get that seat. Different dance styles and music genres are incorporated in the show. The performers are 3 dimensional, performing with a lot of energy and passion. They feel it. They are in the moment. They are sweating on stage. They are giving everything they have. Totally in sync, perfect cheography and wonderful chemistry – they love what they do. Now I understand the 4:44, it was a nudge from the Universe, all is linked, synchronicity, I read Jung, everything is in perfect alignment, it was a great day.

Thank you Daphne Kuhn and Theatre on the square for yet another fantastic experience. The theatre is my heaven.

Congratulations Aurelie Stratton, Hungani Ndlovu, Sipho Didiza and the whole team for an amazing show and a deserved standing ovation.

the assembly improv show

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The Assembly Improv show

Improv – make something up, think on the spot, go with the flow, zen, Bruce Lee, be like water, be formless, quick witted, puns, irony, sacarsm and it has to be humorous! Let’s break the fourth wall, you there, yes you reading this, listening to this, yes hi, happy new year, acknowledge me, make things easier for yourself, I am not going anywhere.

On the square for the Assembly Improv show, filled to the brim, full house. Was with SamSays, it was a great show, unpredictable, spontaneous, quick witted and so funny. We couldn’t stop laughing, we were entertained from the first minute to the last. What I found to be most effective in Improv, is calm. You have to let things process, be in the moment, respond not react. Reactions are filled with anxious energy and that’s not humorous because you bulldoze the act and spoil the tone of the scene. Relax, let other performers have the spotlight. You don’t have to be in every scenario. Listen – don’t bulldoze and overpower others. Anxiety is nervous and not sure of itself, it roams around everywhere, attempts to do everything, please everyone, and it ends up having the opposite effect because it hinders the performance of the other performers to flourish. Calm is controlled, it exudes power, charisma and assurance. When you are calmer, you can be playful and ironic and your punchlines carry more weight. You listen to respond and not to strengthen your view. There were moments of calm and anxiety in the show. I understood the anxiety, entertaining a full house can be exhausting and emotionally draining. It was still a great show, light-hearted, filled with humor and completely unexpected. The show comprised off 6 acts. They improvised about chicken, boyfriend builders, being a little gay, earthworms and burning your mother’s tyre’s.

I loved the two sisters of Case Closed, Megan and Tash Casey. They had a lot of chemistry and complimented each other. They were quick witted, quirky and humorous. The girls of Mechanics of Chaos were simply outstanding! They stole the show, the audience couldn’t stop laughing, they were totally in sync, they complimented each other, they built on each other’s scenes, they listened and added to each other’s scenes, they stuck to performing the scenario the audience gave them; the boyfriend builder and they looked like they were having a lot of fun. I loved them because they were not searching for laughs, anxiety was not a factor, they were in the moment, they loved performing for the audience and it reflected with their performance. Shout-out Itu Chiloane, Mmasehume Raphiri, S’bahle (Sparkles) Hlophe, Sonia Mayor, Tafadzwa Chakanya, Unathi Shongwe and Zanele Sokatsha for a wonderful set. Shout-out to everybody, the gradient, the off cuts and thirst trap. Thank you Daphne Kuhn and the team for the whole experience. Yet another one from Bronwen and B-Sharp entertainment – thank you. Congratulations to The Assembly Improv show and a deserved standing ovation.

Goated

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Goated!

Goated, standing on the podium, I am number one, the gold is coated, you were never on my level, you tip the scale, you just bloated. Swaying public opinion on my side like a poll have you voted? Noted, I am the greatest, on top like the latest, fuck the world with no latex. I avoid texts, bluetick your ass like no tax but the flow is lax, loose like your girl and I am hitting from the back and I tell her relax. Your clique whack, you can never hit back, you on the sack, call you out individually and beat you by the pack. Shuffle you like a deck, crush you like an insect, I release doom on your ass and watch you fall by the sect. Whose next? I penetrated the game now who wants to fuck with the best? Your tactics are lame, just a couple of pests. Regurgitate your shit before I can ever digest. Permanent residence in this game while you just a guest. I am dominating and the world is my conquest. I’m goated, boats in my horizon cause I am coasted, bitches in my bed I never boasted. Smash and vacate, tomorrow another date, more bitches to bait, they need love and we just never hate. Baphomet, horns on my head and they spike, protected from threats like a dike, you come up against me and I’ll ride you like a bike, you lightweight like a kite. You talented – Sikes! You a joke, you make the mood light. This is my site, here’s an apple to bite, some legendary shit, you challenge to spite and I’ll beat your ass despite, cause I bring the pain and I go all night. Goated!

Sipho Hotstix Mabuse

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Sipho Hotstix Mabuse

Party on the square, I was at the opening of the Sipho Hotstix Mabuse concert. Memorable show, high octane energy, we were dancing all night. The show also commemorated music from legends like Hugh Masekela, Brenda Fassie and Stimela. The band were Jazzing, having fun, trying out new material, like the music they played that was inspired by the forceful removals in Sophiatown. It was Jazzy and evoked a feeling of nostalgia. I enjoyed that we had different horns in the ensemble. Horns show different textures, feelings and emotions, they have the ability to be reflective and evoke feelings of sorrow and rue like Miles Davis and John Coltrane on “Kind of blues”. Horns can make you reminisce about simpler times or strife in difficult times, to be optimistic like “Move on up” by Curtis Mayfield. Another song I loved by Sipho and the band was “Welcome”, a song dedicated to then ANC President Oliver Tambo. Speaking of Presidents, we had two former head of states in attendance in Thabo Mbeki and Kgalema Motlanthe. VIP – partying with very important people. Sipho Mabuse has an amazing, talented family and they helped him with the program. His son Biko is an amazing vocalist and is proficient with the guitar, he performed a piece of mezmarrizing music that had the audience spellbound. Sipho’s daughter, Nqobile, is a talented vocalist and she performed “Weekend Special” by Brenda Fassie among other songs. His nephew performed original music that he composed with the helped of Biko titled “Amor” – it is heartfelt and beautiful. All the performances were great, they were Jazzin, having a lot of fun, feeling it from within. We also had a musician who flew all the way from Mauritius who played a stringed Indian instrument. He played it with so much mastery, it blended in with the bass, keyboard and tempo, it was Jazz music like you have never heard before. It was different, it was glorious. I have a weakness for the electric guitar, that didn’t change today, the performer was outstanding – everyone was outstanding! From the drums guy, percussions, bass, keyboard and piano and Sipho himself. Everything about the day was perfect, it started off with an encounter with Job Kubatsi (Ntate Maphikela), the star of the hit show “The Suit”, returning for a second season in February and ended off with Ntambo Rapatla – Her mother’s savage daughter. I was with Sam throughout and Bronwen delivered yet another defense-splitting pass. Music for the Gods, endorsed by President Thabo Mbeki and President Kgalema Motlanthe. It was a party, the auditorium was merry, smiles tattooed on faces, all seats were vacated because everyone was on their feet dancing and singing along to the music, people documenting the experience through their phones taking selfies, time flew. Nobody wanted it to end, it was an amazing show. Congratulations Sipho Hotstix Mabuse and the whole team and a deserved standing ovation.