Mbalenhle

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Mbalenhle

2008 and I am the new kid at school, I am in a foreign environment, everything is different, the kids are different, the culture at school is different, we have white kids here and the kids can bring their cellphones to school. That’s unbelievable! At my previous school, you couldn’t bring your cellphone to school, that was forbidden but when you got to the 7th grade, you had your own toilets that nobody else could use! Reserved only for the seniors of the schools, exclusively for grade 7’s, nobody else used them. The toilets were nicer, they were cleaner and they smelt good. Afterschool when everybody went home, I would use the toilets reserved only for the grade 7’s. It was a dream to be a senior and to be able to use those toilets. I never did, I left when I was in the 6th grade. Maybe I should have stayed one more year and concluded my primary education there, if not for the education then at least for the toilets. I was popular, I was the best poet in the school, I was in the school choir, I played sports and I was destined to be a “Counselor”, a “Counselor” was a “Prefect”. I so wanted to be a counselor and my chances were so good, it was basically guaranteed that I’d be one had I been a senior, but I left. I chased the feeling of wanting to be the new kid in a different environment, it excited me, it was my decision, I wanted a change. The new school was formal, we had a demerit system, that was new to me, I mean the idea of transgressions? It basically stated what learners could and could not do, like a free pass, the whole system perpetuated behavior it seeked to avoid because now technically I can get away with murder and have a few points docked. We never had that in my previous school and you never would have gotten away with murder! Not surprisingly, the kids in my new school were quite liberated, there was an entitlement about them, they were smug, they knew they had rights and they were arrogant. For me it was a big shift in culture but it was cool, small stuff, I could handle it.

For the first few days, I was under the radar, I moved in stealth and acquainted myself with the new environment. On breaks I sat alone and listened to music on my cellphone, something that suited me because I am introverted, I was happy but I got friends fairly quickly and by the third day I was chilling with some kid on breaks. His name was Tefu, strange kid, tall and lanky, looked way bigger for his age, was a year or two bigger than me but I liked him. Months elapsed and I made new friends, Tefu and I were not that close anymore. One of my new friends Mondli also a relatively new kid was a hip-hop head and an aspiring cool kid. Mondli loved the ladies. Our class had the most beautiful girls in the school, no lie, I counted at least 3 girls that I liked. I still remember their names, Leala, Mbalenhle and Amelia. My first preference was Leala but the other two were cute. Luckily I sat next to Leala because her surname starts with a “P” and mine with an “S”, so we sat towards the end. If we sat in pairs, I sat with Leala. She was brilliant, smart, beautiful and creative. She had a personality that was made of gold, Leala was cool, her energy was calm. We connected, we used to talk all the time, I knew her, she became my friend. I even knew who she had a crush on, it was this white kid named “Chad” and you could see the dreamy eyes on Leala’s face whenever she was around Chad. Her body language was different, she was flirty, she wanted Chad to see her. Chad changed schools in the 3rd week but I knew Leala’s Kyrptonite. One day I blurted out that she liked Chad and she transformed, something in her changed, it was as if she were possessed by demons, she made a scene in front of the whole class and told me off, she dismissed me like a naughty child that needed discipline, everyone’s attention was cast on me and I became the butt of the joke so everyone laughed. Right there I knew that Chad was a sensitive issue, never mess with a young girls feelings but her reaction confirmed my suspicions, I touched a nerve, I was right and she knew it. Later because me and her were so tight she confirmed that I was right.

Leala was my closest friend, we didn’t chill together on breaks or anything like that but in class we talked a lot and our conversations were fire! We liked each other’s company, we laughed a lot, we were comfortable with one another, she was my friend. Still, outside the classroom I needed to fit in or risk being ostracized by my peers. I invested my time with Mondli. He had the biggest crush on Mbalenhle and it was warranted, Mbali was beautiful! She was the most beautiful girl in school hands down! He told me about her and made advances on her. All day, every day, he used to talk about Mbali and he transferred the fever on to me. I started noticing her more and more till finally, I fell in love with her. She haunted my conscious reality, all I thought about was her. So I decided to do something, through some clever maneuvering, I managed to get her numbers, fine I got them from Mondli but I was in stealth mode, I stole them, he didn’t know I had them. After getting the numbers, I sent her an SMS professing my love for her. It was such a cowardly SMS, my feelings were all over the place, it’s so embarrassing. It had a lot of anonymity, I didn’t want her to know who it was from, it was just about getting it out of myself. Like “Eish Mbali you are the most beautiful girl in the world and I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t believe I am saying this but I love you”, you know some simp stuff, I can’t quote it word for word because I don’t remember it but it was something along those lines. The next day, everybody in the class knew about the SMS, the horror, luckily I didn’t sign my name. She knew it was not from Mondli because she had his number and they were chatting on mxit. She asked me straight up if it was from me, I denied it. Like “Me? Never! I don’t even have your number”. It was a sneaky little SMS, I used a different number and I later disposed of the sim card. It was better that way. I mean why did the whole class know about the SMS? Although I wanted her to know that I loved her, taking ownership of the SMS was suicide, I avoided it but she knew it was from me, you could see it in her eyes, she was certain, there was no one else, but she didn’t probe further, she let things be.

After the SMS, things changed for her, despite my awkward and nervous energy, she grew fonder of me, it was in the way she looked at me, her gaze was intense and focused, she didn’t shy away from letting me know that she was staring, she had pet names for me, when my friends were teasing me in class she defended me, she blew me kisses, I freaked out! I have never had a girlfriend before, I don’t know what to do! YES SURE, I am in love with her but I don’t know what to do! I was just an artsy, awkward kid so I didn’t do anything. I followed my purpose, wrote poetry and dominated the district instead. On the last day of school, she wrote her numbers on my shirt, she stopped being subtle, she wanted me to call her, I never did. I wish I did something with Mbalenhle but I was a coward that’s why I am writing this instead.

UNDISPUTED

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UNDISPUTED

I am undisputed, champion of the world, greatness is constituted by God and the style prostituted by pussy ass niggas who attempt to fuck up the world with what I initiated but you lack charisma and you just hated. You can never climax at the top even if you masterbated while I come all night, all day, implanting seeds in your mind to make you grow and make this dough. I am undisputed, on top of mount everest, beating everybody to prove I am the best, pull the plug on your ass to give you permanent rest, why because I can, prohibited like a ban, flow crazy deserves to be in the can, Mr. Steal your girl and defeat your man. Damn! I’ve been winning ever since, where yall niggas, making light work on you like mince, secretive like a sphinx, I’ve been winning ever since, where yall niggas? Who wants to challenge me niggas? I am undisputed, sitting on a Throne that I looted, took it from a weakling king that I booted, banished him from his castle and he left muted. I am the one, I wear the crown and I am far from done, illuminate the town like the sun, head down to penetrate the cunt, sorry, I’m obscene, sometimes I paint pictures with my words to create a scene, if this were a horror movie, you would scream cause I devour punani like cream! I am undisputed, everything you see is mine, look at the signs, obey and we will be fine, wanna be a hero and we will take it aside, turn you into a sweater and make your insides your outside.

Movie love affair (Kings Cinema)

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Movie love affair (King’s Cinema)

I have loved movies my whole life. I remember when I was a kid aged about 8, I used to go to Kings Cinema located on 2nd Avenue, in Alexandra Township every week! Kings was the greatest place in the world and I am not even exaggerating, it was better than heaven, it was bliss! I don’t think I’d like heaven all that much, the thought of church all day, singing and worshipping for all eternity doesn’t appeal to me. Look thank you for saving me God, I appreciate it but could I checkout the service once in a while? I mean it’s heaven, give me a break. While heaven doesn’t appeal to me all that much, I wouldn’t mind being locked in King’s Cinema for all eternity! They played great stuff! For just R5 for kids and R7, later R10 for adults you got to watch TWO movies! One Kung Fu and the other one a Hollywood movie. The Kung Fu movies were the best! We were always so entertained, the crowd loved them! I am talking about Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and all those other Chinese guys who kicked ass. It was always an experience, the movies were funny, they were always about revenge and honor, that’s when I fell in love with Cinema, I credit Kung Fu movies. I think that’s why I loved Kill Bill so much, it felt familiar like nostalgia, I even dreamed about it, I could not get the bride out of my psyche and she stayed with me until my late teenage years. I still can’t get over Kill Bill, it’s a masterpiece. I remember watching Shaolin Soccer and cracking up real good, the audience loved it. Shaolin Soccer was a King’s special, the posters inside the cinema were never removed, I remember it had a frame. All the other posters were changed and removed every week to advertise what was showing next week or in the foreseeable future except the Shaolin Soccer poster. It had that aesthetic, that feel, it described what King’s Cinema was all about. There was a program and when you purchased your ticket you basically agreed to spend your whole day at the Cinema. The box office opened at 12:30 pm and would sell tickets until 13:00 – 13:30 pm. After 13:30, the gates are closed and no one comes in the theatre. Once seated the first movie comes on, usually a Kung Fu movie that plays for 2 hours or so and then there is a recess, a little intermission so you can buy your Popcorn and snacks for the second movie – the main movie, what you came to the cinema to see, the big box office movies like Mission Impossible, Spiderman and Rambo. Hardly no one bought popcorn and snacks for the first movie but the stand was still open nonetheless. The Kung Fu movies were like preparation for the second movie but we loved them anyways, to tell you the truth, sometimes they were better than the big  Hollywood movies. The second movie would play until like 17:30 to 18:00. So you would be in the cinema from 13:00 to 18:00 but it didn’t feel that way because time flew!

I loved how economic King’s was. For the day I needed just R12. That would be enough for the entrance, popcorn, juice and sweets (smarties). I would go there Saturday and Sunday and R24 would suffice, sometimes R20 for two days would do. But when I went with a grown-up I would get everything! I’d get Popcorn, Coca-Cola not Juice, a hot pie and sweets! Every time I had a hot pie and Coke was a great day! I remember the days like it was yesterday, the first time I went with my cousin and we watched Spiderman. The next time was with my mother and we watched X-men 2. Pie was expensive, it cost R7 and Coke was R5! My mother would give me the R12 to get me off her hair, she never complained. I loved the cinema, I’d go with my friends most Saturday’s, and on Sunday when they went to church, I’d go again on my own. I remember watching “Gladiator”, oh my lord, it was so epic! Like “Are you not entertained? Isn’t this what you came for? Spaniard! Spaniard! Spaniard!”. The audience in the cinema went crazy! Spaniard was our hero, when he died at the end, we felt an injustice like something was amiss, we hated the fact that Spaniard died but we understood, everything was stacked up against him and at least he killed the villian and restored order in the kingdom, it was a bittersweet ending. We loved movies with action, fighting and violence! The whistles would reverberate in the theatre and we actively cheered for the hero! Love scenes in the cinema were also cool but sometimes awkward and uncomfortable, most of the time you’d hear wooing. When the hero kissed the girl there was always an applause and whistles, we loved it! I also remember watching Troy, ah! It was such an awesome movie and the audience loved it. To tell you the truth, I’ve only watched the movie once, I forgot the plot but I remember the name of the movie and Brad Pitt was awesome! I watched a couple of Harry Potter movies at Kings but not “The Goblet of fire”, that installment I watched in the cinema at Sandton. When we watched “Passion of the Christ” everybody was emotional, the mood was tense and serious. You could hear sobs everywhere in the cinema. Even my friends didn’t talk to me, their gaze was fixed on the screen and they totally ignored my attempts to disturb them. It was strange and uncomfortable, even my friends cried for Jesus. I didn’t like “Passion of the Christ”, it had a lot of subtitles and I got bored following through the story, I didn’t understand what it was about. Still I remember that day vividly because everyone in the cinema was crying for Jesus and I felt guilty because I didn’t cry. I finished the day thinking I was going to hell, thank you for the feelings of guilt and shame Mel Gibson, fucken asshole. Mission Impossible 3 was awesome, that’s your definitive King’s movie in terms of engagement with the crowd, it had the audience going crazy in a lot of scenes! Tom Cruise didn’t disappoint, he did the impossible. I have two movies that could rival Mission Impossible 3, that’s “Cradle to the grave” and “Romeo Must Die”, reason being Jet Li, the hood loved Jet Li! His movies always filled up the cinema, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Jet Li was the ultimate hero and he would beat the bad guys clean, everyone in the cinema cheered and whistled him on. He had a strong crowd. Kings was an experience, for me it was a place where I went to be myself. I relaxed, I laughed, I cheered, I rested my feet on seats, I interacted with the stories, I fell in love with cinema, it is my whole childhood. I spent a lot of my life in that cinema and I watched a lot of movies. Thank you King’s for everything!

Winner

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Winner

I am a winner, I am competitive, I never stop. I create systems and follow through until I am on top. The pick of the crop, my reign showers fields to ensure supply never stops, I deliver and demand triumphs a cops. Most wanted, five star performance every time, rig the game to take your last dime. I am a winner, better than a sinner, focus intensified better than a fat man at dinner, come close and I’ll kill ya, leave you bloodied like an encounter with a spinner. I am simply better, leave your girl wetter, have the public write you off, we don’t need no letter. I am a winner, I am always number one, the spotlight is on me, you’ll get it when I am done, who can stand alongside me, the answer is none, nobody can fuck with me like a nun. I am the best, the leader of any conquest, I’ll give you preferential treatment cause you just a guest but if you get on my face I’ll doom your ass cause you’ll be a pest. I am a winner, I have all the trophies, the budget is high so we don’t tolerate no low fees, bro please, stand aside so I can teach you how to appease, I am the consciousness of culture, haters in circles over my body like a vulture but I’ve got reserves stacked up like vouchers. I go overtime, I kill to solve the crime, get dirty to remove the grime and stand on the Throne to show its mine. I am a winner, I’ve got the calves to prove it, I’ve got stamina. A marathon runner with the speed of a sprinter. Penetrate resistance like a splinter, go deep like coitus in winter. I am a winner and all I do is win, win, win no matter what, I am always the victor.

Royale with cheese

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Royale with cheese

Cheeseboy son look at the shoes, look at the watch, look at the car, this shirt costs more than you make in a month. I got the latest gadgets, ladies get wet when they see me, the style screams see me and I know you do. I could buy the whole shop and you know I do. Cheeseboy son, Royale with cheese, charisma scotching hot and the swag is a breeze. Kenny’s family is poor always begging please. I’ll give you a lease on the style so you won’t have to be parasitic like fleas, I take over any charges with interest and added fees cause the presence is huge and intimidating like a beast! Cheeseboy son, can’t tell me nothing, Royale with cheese. Don’t be mad cause I am doing me better than you doing you. Just give me an invoice and I’ll settle what’s due. Buy your love with alcohol and bounce that’s my queue. You can never compare to me that’s cute. Let’s laugh at Kenny, his family is poor. Cheeseboy son, lunch is on me. The bar is open and we can drink until three. No need to worry about the costs cause I got the keys, to unlock any woman with resistance, just say my name and they will cease to show all of this resistance. Cause the name is consistent, make it rain to make her dance like strippers who are persistent. Cheeseboy son, Royale with cheese, look at the pool, it’s heated. My stature is bigger than yours when I am seated. I got maids, I got cooks. I can get you laid, improve your looks. Cheeseboy son, Royale with cheese, I could change your life, only if you’re honest and loyal like a wife, the money could be rife. Cheeseboy son, just tell me what you want and I’ll deliver, you’ll be on your knees, I’ll make you a believer. I can move you up that list and get you that liver, only if you acknowledge your best position is silver.

Alcohol scars

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Alcohol scars

Alcohol scars, they surround my body like an island, I am doomed, I am trapped, I don’t know where I landed. I don’t know how I got the scars, it’s a blur, all I remember is last night’s slur and today I am sipping blood from my skin like a slurp. Scarface like Montana, they curl my body like bananas and I slip. Dozing off intoxicated, I trip. Falling like a missile like a punchline on a script. The scars aren’t hard to decrypt but why didn’t I feel pain, numb like anesthesia but what happened to the brain? I think I am going insane. When did this happen and this, suffering from memory loss that wipes off your first kiss. It’s never bliss cause the scars heal like a blitz leaving me confused like a kid in a quiz. Alcohol scars, I don’t remember what happened. I was happy on the day, that’s one thing that happened. Claims of pregnancy but did I really do that? Cause you ugly as fuck and I doubt I’d hit that. Alcohol, alcohol I am leaving you! You convince me that she’s cute and you never accept what’s due. Your suggestions leave me in sticky situations like glue, have me contemplating about suicide out of the blue. I am done, we through, even if you were a bolt, I wouldn’t screw. If I were a lawyer I’d sue, cause your claims are slanderous, outcomes deadly and dangerous. Alcohol you trick me and make me feel invincible, when the truth is lonely and sadly invisible. My fights are never sensible, offside to elude the goal and tomorrow the pain burns like a coal. Alcohol scars, I wish I was prepared cause then I’d have Plan B to show you that I cared. But you’d have to take it in front of me, just to be sure and let life be. No unintended seeds, they grow, lead lives filled with anger and cold like snow. All because I couldn’t say no, because I chose to elope, changing addresses to avoid envelopes. I don’t remember what happened and these scars are not mine, I was out of my mind, a product of wine. I didn’t do it, I went to bed at nine, even though the pain hurts and it’s not benign.

Fifa Retirement

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Fifa Retirement

As of immediately I retire from playing Fifa on any Playstation or Xbox consoles. I have beaten them all. There is no one left. No one wants to play with me anymore. They say I dominate them despite the fact that I give them a chance to score, I am not a bad guy. Yes, sometimes I’ll take a cleansheet victory but only if you pissed me off. Regardless I understand, I have become too great. Having dominated the game for decades, I leave on top untouched and invincible. I would like to take the opportunity to thank all my victims for graciously accepting that I am the better man and don’t worry I’ll beat you at something else.

Best Regards
The great man
ANTAKALIPA

I am not him

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I am not him

I am not him,
it’s wrong that you compare me to him.
It’s not fair,
you claim you over him
yet you connected like an active sim.

I won’t do it,
I just won’t do it,
I’d much rather let you walk away.
It’s going to tear me apart
but I won’t let you lead me astray.

I am not him,
you have history and he taught you everything you know.
Your love was pure and as white as snow.

I could never taint the canvas you created with my dirty brush.
You were his girl and you were my crush.
Every time we locked eyes,
I just blushed,
emotions spiked,
time moved faster
and I felt I was rushed.
I could never give you what he did,
I’d be flushed.

I am not him,
he was your first serious boyfriend
while I was just a boy-friend.
What he did with you fills the deep end,
while I am busking in the sun and walking on land.
We two different people and a compromise is quicksand.

I won’t do it,
his shoes are too big to fill.
You were a virgin before him
and he taught you how to feel.
I am not having it like a promiscuous girl on the pill
cause,
you still rave about him like his paying the bill.

Nope,
I am not him,
you’re not ready to move on.
You holding up progress and your tears are a turn off.

I am not him,
it’s wrong that you compare me to him.
Your constant on and off
Makes my heart go dim.

Cherry Wine

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Cherry Wine

One day I hope to have the right amount of sensitivity, experience, finesse and creativity to execute a song like Cherry Wine. I can safely say it’s my favorite song of all time by miles. It’s the song that made to go to the music store to purchase that “Life Is Good” album. Yes, the album was hyped up and I loved the two singles, “Daughters” produced by No I.D and Summer on Smash produced by Swizz Beats but I didn’t make the decision as of yet to purchase the album. Then one day, I came home from school and the music channel was debuting “Cherry Wine”, so I gazed onto the TV screen and was transported to pure music heaven, the song paralyzed me and I was in awe, “wow”, I thought. I knew that my life would be altered forever, I mean it was Nas and Amy Winehouse – Salaam Remi on the credits. To this day Amy Winehouse is still my favorite artist. I watched that “Cherry Wine” video and I fell in love. It’s so hypnotic and Nas is so thoughtful, expressive and articulate. He makes you reminisce about the past while being hopeful of the future, while Amy is dreaming out loud, her mind drifting on top of clouds and she’s yearning for this man who is just like her to come take her away, she feels alone, she feels vulnerable, it’s sad, it’s moving, it’s meaningful, it’s poetry, it’s life, it’s art. The beat, the horns, the verses and Amy’s vocals, it’s just a beautiful song – perfect! I was a bit sentimental because Amy Winehouse had past on a couple of months prior and “Cherry Wine” was her last song and it was with Nas! Nas is amazing! I wish I could write a song like that. After I watched that video, I downloaded the song and it was actually better than the video – the video was shortened but on the mp3 Amy goes on and makes the song her own. “Cherry Wine” changed things for me, I bought the “Life Is Good” album. The album is one of the best CDs I’ve ever bought. “Life is good” is a masterpiece, a certified Nas classic, I love it, one of my favorite hip-hop albums of all time. The first CD I have ever bought was “God’s Son” by Nas. Also a classic, had songs like “Get Down”, “I Can”, Dance” and “Heaven”, yea that was a great album. Illmatic is unbelievable! Still if I had just one wish, I’d wish to create a song like “Cherry Wine”. I want the mood, the aesthetics, the Jazz sound and melodies, the feel and an artist as talented as Amy Winehouse to take center stage. I would also talk about Love and what I want in a woman. Like Nas, I’d give Amy the space to make that song hers. I’d also name my song “Cherry Wine”, that’s my dream. I know creating content like “Cherry Wine” is difficult, Nas suffered through divorce to make it happen. That’s the beauty of “Life Is Good”, it’s so personal. I am open to endure suffering to create great art. One day when I have the resources and talent, I am going to create all of this and it’s going to be the most awesome thing ever!

Yea, Nas is my favorite rapper. He made things easy for me with King’s Disease, KD2, Magic and KD3. Shout-out to Hit-boy for producing all of those Classics. He is still Escobar, Nasty Nas, he hasn’t switched up, he is still Nas! His flow, rhymes, storytelling and word play is of the highest quality. The longevity under his belt unbelievable, 30 years at the top and he is still hungry for more. He is a living legend. He was never something he was not, he didn’t appease the culture, he never dumbed down, he was just Nas. I respect that, I admire that. He is a shinning light. He inspires me.

Receipts

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Receipts

I am on top, its not surprising. I’ve gained the weight I’ve lost to level the playing field. I am in great form, I’ve beaten them all, my competition in the rear end swallowing my dust, cause they always thought we were head to head but I was checking the rear ever since. I’ve beaten them all at their own game, I reflected back who they was. Cause it’s all about consciousness, no person will do you dirty without conscious intent. It’s done on purpose, to keep you dependent on them, to make you suffer, to humiliate you. It’s doublespeak, they say they love you but they don’t give a shit about you. This is about power plays, egos, control, respect and subtle dominance. If you let it go once, it’s going to happen again because it’s a learned response, that’s why you gotta double down or crush the behavior completely. They take advantage of your kindness, they don’t respect you, that’s why you gotta set an example. Strike the Shepard first and the lamb will disperse, make God bleed and everyone will perceive him to be mortal, my nigga, always send a receipt to someone who requires your services. A lot of people are repressed that’s why you gotta deliver that consciousness, a hot slap to the face with fingers imprinted usually solves the case. Nobody will ever mistaken you after that, both feet on the brakes before turning that corner cause people forget who they dealing with sometimes, “shut the fuck up and know your damn role”! Receipts, receipts, receipts, you gotta hand them out, some people think their shit don’t stink and you gotta bring out the air freshener to purify the air. How you gonna black ball me when my balls are black? How you gonna invoice me when I sent all your shit back? I’ve beaten all you niggas, I proved you not on my level, I’ll beat your ass again to echo that you are not on my level. Receipts, receipts, receipts, you gotta hand them out, no free lunch, deliver so it sticks, so no motherfucker takes advantage of you. If you swelling up, I’ve got the remedy to make you calm down, that’s fists, let’s go! If you can dish it up then you can take it, no exceptions Mr. Ultrasensitive and privileged. Receipts, if you can’t dish them up then don’t play the game because you’ll be a target and you won’t be able to pay up, rendering you useless and defaulted. Receipts, receipts, receipts, I’m narcissistic too, I also don’t care and we can leave it to die too. If you want beef, I’ll serve it on a platter, let’s go chief! Receipts, I bring it all day, all night, I reflect you like a mirror.