Cognitive Dissonance

I remember when a friend of mine had some news he wanted to tell his inner circle. He decided to start a business and the responses were overwhelmingly positive except for one comment. It wasn’t that bad but it was disguised, sly, hidden and subtle. The comment was “Well done, hopefully you’ll make some money”. I felt it was in bad taste because he implied that he was doing this for the money. He shifted the focus of the news of starting the business to making money.

The comment was passive aggressive. That is what cognitive dissonance is about. Saying one thing and doing another. It is poisonous praise. It is being conflicted, it is being split into two, it is confusing, it is inconsistent. Like God loving us and sending us to hell. What a suspect anology Christianity.

I think that passive aggressive language and behavior works so much because it is indirect and leaves much to the imagination. Being passive aggressive is popular today. Like that one person who always comes late for meetings and always apologizes, like “alright man we get it, you superior to all of us”. Or that one guy who takes an eternity to respond to your texts despite the fact that his been online all day, we see the power play my man.

Deep narcissists are masters of passive aggressive behavior. They want to keep you dependent on them. They are deluded because we always see what they are doing. They think they are clever and slick but we see. Everyone knows a deep narcissist.

Carl Jung has taught me to accept people as they are, accept them as facts, don’t take things personally because we are all repressed and we tend to project on to people a lot. We also have shadows and biases. Being a human being is hard work.

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