Insignificant

Insignificant

I know I am insignificant, scum, a cockroach, unworthy, tainted, contaminated and rotten to the core. I am a virus that spreads like a cancerous cell to devour the very essence of your existence. I live to consume and leave nothing of substance.  I am a plague that wipes out life. I add nothing, I contribute suffering, I am nothing. I am a bad man, I would decapitate your head from your shoulders if I had the chance, for the fun of it, just because I would, because I was bored, because of the power I have over you. I find it difficult to condemn slavery because I have inhibitions to own and control you. If you were my slave, I’d have my way with you, I’d humiliate you, work you, break you, rape you, cut off your tougue to silence you and when I am done with you, just throw you in the nigger box. How’s God going to save you when his on my side? I am coming for the kikes and the kaffers too. If my bloodline was Aryan, I’d be your chief tormentor. More shots to the head and bigger gas chambers to accommodate you. Who’s going to stop me when I am God? Apartheid and segregation is justified, the kaffers will only taint our snow white skin. They are dangerous and as the chosen race, we must work to put them in their place. I understand the hate because I am a hateful person too. Why do good? How’s that going to benefit me? Don’t tell me about God. Don’t be naive. Where’s your proof? God is the last refuge of a man who doesn’t have any answers. If he exists, how do you justify the suffering? Why am I a pawn in this chess game? Why doesn’t God care about my dignity and pride? Why the humiliation and subjegation to unjustified violence? What about my honor and my humanity? Does this sound like divine providence to you? Maybe I am an animal and it’s time I played my role, killing all these white folks would make my life better. At least my family would be safe and live their lives without bondage. God is dead, his not coming out to save us. I must do this for us, for our survival, for the continuation and progression of our species. God doesn’t care about us and it should liberate us, all is permitted, there are no rules, it’s survival of the fittest. Kill everything in your way even if it’s lord Buddha or Jesus Christ himself. We are all insignificant. Time will bury us in history and we will all be forgotten. Being a humanitarian is a PR stunt, an attempt to control public perception, to deceive, to play God. All of life is a power struggle.

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Little Township Boy

Little Township Boy

Your dreams are too impractical. You can’t be a pilot, dear boy that’s not how the world works. Choose something else, something in line with your reality, something in line with your environment. How about an Uber driver? No, that’s too steep. Let’s try a taxi driver operating somebody’s 16 seater. You have to remember that you have owners. You are not free, no one is free, in fact dear boy, there is no such thing as freedom. It’s all made up like your dreams of flying airplanes. Someone needs to bring you down to earth, having your head above the clouds is only metaphoric like shooting stars in the sky. And well, you are no star. The truth is that you are limited like prepaid data. The truth is that you’ll never amount to much. The truth is that your are doomed like insects in a corner. There is no way of maneuvering this, you are playing a rigged game and the cards have been dealt to you since your inception. There is no way to change hands just play the cards you have been dealt as best as you can. Don’t mess up the order of the world, don’t anger your owners, just do as you are told and don’t be a hero. Lower your expectations dear boy you are nothing but a pawn in this chess game called life. No one cares about you or your dreams. But that’s not such a bad thing, strive to make your owners rich and you’ll do better than most people. Dear boy, just stay in your lane and you’ll be alright.

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Underground Railroad

Underground Railroad

The Underground Railroad series by Barry Jenkins is a masterpiece. It is uncomfortable, disturbing, difficult and painful. The depiction of slavery is earth shattering! Its so raw, exposed and unapologetic. The imagery evokes the feeling of dread and fear. The oppression is heavy as a 10 ton truck and the situation is just hopeless – it is what it is. Slavery is the most horrific event that has ever occurred in our history. It’s so barbaric and lacks any conscience. Our ancestors had it bad. It was brutal. From the whips that devour your bloody mince meat back. To the fires that consume the body turning it to a coal. The total disregard for human life is heartbreaking. How are you better than me as a human being because your hue is diluted? Why are you offended by my melanin tone? Why do you have to humiliate me and disregard my right to life? Why is your God prejudice and so selective? We see characters lose hope – it’s difficult not to lose hope, optimism is like aircon in hell. We witness suicide, we see hunger devouring the very essence of a man leading him to his death. Cause what’s the use? Why eat? For what? For who? I am tired of laboring in the name of slavery. I have made my peace with the Lord, they can’t do anything to my soul no more. They don’t care about you, you just a nigger, an animal with no reasoning faculties, genetically built to serve the white man. You just mere property like tools and we need you to procreate so we can sell your children to turn a profit. Don’t tell me about love, niggers don’t have that capacity, this is strictly mechanical and a white man will be present watching you as you lay pipe. You can’t even run away, they chase after you and once caught punishment in the form of flesh eating whips awaits. Suicide is difficult, you are always monitored, all they want is a daily dose of your spirit like concentrated syrup until it runs out. The hangings, the violence, the killings, the hate, the ignorance, the fear, the horror, the suffering, oh the suffering, each scene was like a dagger to my soul. It never got better too, the good hearted characters who assisted the protagonist on her journey always died horrific deaths because slave owners always win and slavery is justified. The good and heartwarming scenes never last, there’s always a shadow that ultimately engulfs the protagonists present turning her world into disarray and scrambling for survival.

I was relieved when Cora shot dead Ridgeway, he was a bad man and I hated him like a recurring nightmare. I don’t understand the hate in his heart, his father did his best to show him the way. We are all one, we are one spirit, try to see yourself in another person. Yes, there is a order and everybody has a role but what about your humanity? Why do you have to conform to the norm when you are haunted by it’s conditions? Maybe I will never understand, maybe he had a slave catcher mentality and being an observer of the series, I will never quite understand that psychology. I would have shot Homer dead too. To many times in the story he has been the difference. He is a loose end, he knows too much. Granted he was under Ridgeway’s frame and had to serve him but he was complicit, he knew what he was doing. He even committed murder to save Ridgeway. Still I understand the decision to spare his life, Cora didn’t have any beef with him and if she killed him she would be hanged and this time around the killing wouldn’t be justified. I feel sorry for Homer now that Ridgeway is dead cause what’s he going to do now? He is just a nigger kid, how’s he going to survive? He was dependent on Ridgeway in more ways than one. He was like a father to him. How’s he going to navigate the world alone? He is going to have to regress to a slave to make it through, now isn’t that poetic justice? Isn’t killing Homer mercy? Maybe not, we all deserve a chance at life and he is resourceful, just maybe he’ll be okay. Cora has showed us its possible time and time again.

I salute the makers of the craft, Barry Jenkins and his team delivered an absolute masterclass. I imagine it was difficult creating that, the mental strength required to play the role of Cora cannot be underestimated. Full credit to Thuso Mbedu for delivering perfection. I am pretty sure she had support, a psychiatrist, psychologist or some sort of professional had to be on site at all times. Playing a character with so much depth can be scaring and psychologically distressing. Who knows what’s hidden in the deep recesses of your subconscious. She had to go to dark places and inhabit them. She had to disconfigure herself and willingly go under the sword. She had to combat the shadows that were well hidden by time. She faced the monsters in her closet. She captured the essence of being a slave. She was a slave. She is just an amazing artist. But it’s not just her, everyone performed at such a high level. Unbelievably there was no weak link, everyone was a solid 10. The visuals, the pictures, the camera work, the slow motion takes, the deliberate use of silence, the costumes, the score, music and soundtracks, the fire, the singing, the slaves, the sets, the characters, the actors, the brutality, the violence, the beats, the dialogue, the sequences and the overall story – it is content on another level. The genocide scene at Indiana was hard but expected now that we were so late into the story, you can never really trust these white folks, they have never been friends, I was disgusted but not surprised by their actions, nothing they did surprised me anymore. Watching the show I became pessimistic and cynical, I learned true human nature. It was a difficult story to tell and execute and they excelled with flying colors.

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