Between her thighs

Between her thighs

She told me she loved me and at that moment I was trapped because I was only interested in what was between her thighs. I felt it was a premeditated move consciously executed to land her man. She is vindictive and this is a ploy to possess all of me like a prisoner, a slave. That is what love is all about, control over the other person. Love is strategic ploy to weaken and exploit. Love is a flanking maneuver that surprises and hurts the opposition. Love is tact to make somebody vulnerable, a blow that makes a soldier reeling and a poison that kills without medical assistance. Love is war, deadly and compromising. I resent the notion that we were made of gold and sunshine. That is not what a human being is at all because like Nietzsche once stated, even good actions are sublimated evil ones. She showed her hand too soon. It was rash, impulsive, expedient and unsedective. Still, I had to be careful because I knew where that blurt came from. It was truthful expression on her side, her shadow and it came from a fabricated reality. All of her life she has been chasing the idea of love. She loved the idea of somebody completing her. She loved the idea of somebody instinctively knowing her thoughts and how she felt. The culture of romanticism had consumed all of her being. She was impractical living in a world where she chased novelty after novelty. She had a low self-esteem and confidence. Maybe, it was because she had been hurt before. Maybe, it hurt her to the core that it dismantled her self-worth and identity. Maybe this is delicate and sensitive. It could be me, something about my childhood and how I was raised. It could be that I had a narcissistic mother who never gave me much attention and that I am scared of being abandoned and so I do it to others before they do it to me. Maybe I am a written-off vehicle, completely wrecked and damaged. Still, I had to answer or run the risk of dead air taking over. I responded “I love you squared.” It sounded vague and contained possibilities. It sounded like an illusion. It hinted at loving you more but meant nothing like that. It was an exceptional counter-attacking move, one with precision and amazing creativity. The answer had to be great too, if I had any chance of being between her thighs. See, it was a mission of mine, a dream – her thighs were like a gateway to heaven, to paradise. I felt like a jackhammer anticipating to be used. A bomb on countdown awaiting to explode, figuratively and literally in her. Her body excited my middleman and love had nothing to do with it. What I felt was merely physical. A longing to express my desires on her. She represented an object to gratify my sexual urges. Besides being an object, she meant nothing to me. I resent the fact that she would tell me that she loves me when I was trying to climb, to be the best. I am young, black, gifted and amazing and she is trying to cling on to me, to lay claim and preserve like vegetables in the refrigerator. I am not a possession, I am not a vegetable in someone’s refrigerator – I belong to the world and any woman who inquires. Am I a bad person? Sure, but she’s the hypocrite and the liar, camouflaging herself to the exterior of love when she doesn’t know my intrinsic value. How can you claim to love someone you barely know? This is just the duality of life, the realization that we mean different things to different people. The realization that we are a coin toss and fittingly, theres a third side to a coin, the side that gives the coin its duality. She is wrong for loving me so abruptly. After all, would she love me if the word “love” didn’t exist? Highly unlikely, she would have requested a signature to my death warrant. So yes, sure I am an exceptional human being. At least she knows what I want. There’s a big bullseye sign between her legs and I want to be the nail that gets hammered in repeatedly. I wish to penetrate through the curtains of life. I am interested in the energy force that propelled humanity forward in our long ancestry line. Her personality is of little relevance to me; I am only interested in what is between her thighs. Personality depends upon the environment and culture, it is not reliable to be considered as critera. I wish she could detach from her body, it would be ideal. But since that’s an impossibility, I have to be patient with her. By professing her love to me, in my hands I have her vanity and ego; I can make her do anything that I want. She is eager to impress. While I don’t consider her a serious project, I do see her as an adequate mistress, somebody there when called upon to gratify my urges. Alternatively, we could fuck just one more time then she’ll be somebody that I used to know. But why limit yourself?

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Porn Star

Porn Star

Would you date a porn star? You know the woman whose taken cream to the face from multiple dicks. Dicks in the ass and piss dwindling from the throat making its way inside intestines. Oh, you a nasty bitch aren’t you? Pop that for big daddy! Would you be with a Porn star? A woman who has a body count carrying the essence of the phallus ancestry line. You thought you had Penis envy but now you have a woman who’s seen it all. Like “average penis fits in most pussies, big dicks are the real problem”. Oh really? Tell me more. Would you be with a porn star? Someone who has been choked into unconsciousness and passed around like a joint, smoking the character out of her soul and watching it dissipate like smoke. Daddy issues and expedient, victim-mentality and no self worth. Don’t fool yourself, it’s not in the past, the internet is forever and humanity is going to be jerking off to your girl till infinity and beyond. Would you be with a Porn star, someone to fulfill your wildest erotic fantasies? Someone to busk in your fetishes like an enthusiast. Someone who blows like a dryer. Someone to partake in your butt games. Would you be with a Porn star, a sex object for the gratification of your desires, a woman who belongs to all. Gangbang not a problem, as long as you let her call a friend. Would you be with a porn star, a woman whose attained mastery in all the positions, spreading it like butter so you can insert the ham. Moaning hard as a motherfucker so you are viewed as the man.

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Porn Star III: 9 to 5

Porn Star III: 9 to 5

I love sex, I worship sex. It’s how I make my living, ass up face down, I am a sexual athlete. People outside of porn talk a lot about degradation but it’s all relative. Pornography is sexual creativity, it’s dirty, taboo and appeals to your wildest erotic fantasies. Porn is not the same as making love to your girl, like “don’t kiss me, just fuck me and cum on my damn face”. Still I understand with all the spitting, strangling, punching and fisting. No one cares if it hurts or if that big dick tears up your asshole. Sometimes it gets dark and difficult thats why you need to know why you are doing this. You might get booked for an anal scene with 3 guys despite the fact that you don’t do anal. The money is good and you need to get your career off the ground, so you clean your ass and prepare yourself for your first anal experience. A lot of pornstars go into the business with the objective of being famous, that it can somehow be a backdoor to Hollywood but it never works out like that. Meryl Streep never took two dicks in her ass on camera but you can get famous and have the adoration of the world. Only if you do your job and be professional. Being on time and being professional will get you far in this industry. This is because bookings are not reliable, so when you take the initiative and come early for your scheduled bookings you are seen and acknowledged and that leads to more jobs. The girls who are after fame never last in this business. It’s the girls who lead normal lives outside porn who do, they never associate with other porn people, they simply do their jobs, clock out, get paid and return home to their families. I know of famous pornstars who can’t pay their rent. The lifespan of a pornstar is brief, one day you wake up and the industry decides that you are overshot, a dinosaur, a fossil and so you need to be wise and save money. You need to know why you are doing this. Is it for the money, the fame or are you addicted to sex? There’s also the case of younger and tighter pussy taking you out the game. Doing 5 guys has its repercussions, especially if it’s black guys. Despite the negative press, we are entertainment, this is show business and porn is mainstream bigger than the music industry. Granted no one will admit to consuming porn but everyone does and we do all this for you – the fans. We do this to entertain you and I can’t lie for the money, I make more money than a brain surgeon. When I was a dancer I didn’t make much money because I didn’t fuck my clients. I learned the hard way that you need to suck dick to get to the top. You might as well do it with a professional who knows what they are doing and who has been screened and declared healthy by a doctor. Porn made things better as I don’t have to worry about STD’s and HIV. Sure porn is fantasy but the diseases are not. I am happy even though I don’t have friends and family. Besides, I am always working and I have pet dog who loves me to death and keeps me company. I have a lot of fans. I am happy. I lost my virginity when I was 13 and by 18, I had already had sex with 98 people. One might say I was primed to be a pornstar from a young age. I love what I do and the attention it grants me, I feel validated and seen. People outside of porn are more perverse and dirty than the people inside the industry because they consume and demand the product. All the anal scenes, weird hedonistic and pervasive fetishes all shot to quench your thirst and bring fantasy to your ritualistic insipid lives. The more crazy and outlandish, the better. Doing anal will get you the best gigs with the biggest studios who have the best locations, best sets, best lighting and make-up. The big studios are more professional and they actually treat you like a human being. They show you care and love. I love shooting with them. I love what I do and I plan on doing it until my time sets down or when it stops being fun and exciting. Yes there are negatives working in this industry like crazed out, obsessive fans who lack proportion and can’t keep boundaries, a smelly vagina, exposure to sicknesses and diseases but the positives outweigh all the negatives. It’s just like any other job with its negatives and positives.

24 HOUR WHORE

24 HOUR WHORE

I love money. It makes me happy, everything costs something and with money I can buy what I want. I can go shopping, I can spoil my loved ones, I can help out at home and I can buy food to survive. I am a fast money kinda girl and I prefer getting money on my own. I am young and I know how to make it, all I gotta do is watch out for the police. Why do I gotta hand my money to a pimp? Give a nigga a cut for all my hard work to support him and does he support me? Not a 100% cause he got more bitches. The emotions of other bitches, it’s stressful, there’s a lot of emotions and problems, it ain’t worth it, just headaches. You also can’t leave when you want to because the nigga own you and when you try to leave he’ll beat you to a pulp and take your your stuff leaving you in the numbing cold and where you gonna go? You don’t know anybody and you don’t have a place to go. Being with a Pimp, nah, it ain’t worth it. Although you still gotta know how to work a corner, it’s competitive and bitches are sometimes territorial, especially if you are pretty and young, you become a target but most of the time there’s a camaraderie and we stick together. I am happy doing this alone, I don’t need friends, I don’t trust anybody, I prefer to be myself and stick to getting this money. Any girl can do it, you don’t need special traits or a pleasing personality although the latter helps cause they all gullible. One time, a young white girl came up to me saying she hadn’t done this before, I told her to stick with me for the day and in two days she was working the streets on her own. Once is sufficient to have you coming back for more, I see it every time. Cause when you need money and someone give you a $100 note or $120 it feels like a jackpot, like free money because sometimes you ain’t gotta fuck. Some guys just want somebody to talk to so you just offer your ears and be a compassionate soul, some have foot fetishes and just want to suck your toes, like I said jackpot, free money. Still, I can suck your dick for $30.

I am 19 years old now but when I was younger, I would get an excess of $2000 per day. I started off when I was 15 but I was on and off. Being with other girls led me to this profession. I remember a time when I took showers to rush back to the streets. Yes I was a minor but they believed what I told them and best believe I told them I was 18, but it doesn’t matter, they don’t care in any case, they fucked me even though they suspected I was a minor. The guilt made them pay more, $400 or sometimes even more. Young pussy is tighter. Nowadays money gets slower by the day. If I work from 5am I can get $1200 – $1500 on a normal day, $1000 on a slow day. My clients are mostly regulars and they pay $200. I charge them $150 – $200 depending on the client to use my room. I also work the internet. You can get good tips but only if you are not arrogant, be sweet with them, don’t rush him to nut, it’s a process and everyone runs on different schedules. When you are sweet to them, they like you and might ask you for your numbers. I don’t do anything I am uncomfortable with like kissing, like why, you don’t know me, what if I have STD’s, what if you have STD’s? It’s risky, I don’t compromise my life in that manner. I am the sweetest person ever and I don’t do bad things to anyone, I just live my life. I smoke weed but that’s just about it. I come from a nice home, good mother, I have brothers and sisters, everything changed when my father went to jail. I’ve been to jail too for prostitution obviously and that’s where I gave birth to my child. My mother is raising her. They don’t like that I am operating the street but what can they do? I am grown, they couldn’t stop me even when I was a minor. I know what I do is risky and dangerous and that’s why I don’t recommend this to anyone, anything can happen and chaos ensues. These days more and more minors are doing this, I was a minor when I started this, a 24 hour whore doing it every day and at any hour and although I am not a minor anymore, I am still a 24 hour whore. I’ve have never been raped, held at gunpoint or anything like that. The worst thing that has ever happened was getting out of a moving car, it was an attempted kidnap. My skin was grated and I had to go to hospital for a few days but I am still alive. It’s a fucked up attitude that will attract life threatening situations like rape and being held at gunpoint. Also you gotta know how to detect bullshit, your life depends on it. I love myself, what I do doesn’t affect my self-esteem in the least, I love everything about myself, I know I am pretty, I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror, I love my body, my ass and everything about myself. I don’t need anyone else to love me. Cause what is love? How can you believe that  someone loves you? Show me you love me. Put me in a better position, buy me a big house, buy me a Rolce Rolls, do something. I don’t want love, I want money and yes, happiness too, because I do want to be happy, life is nothing without happiness. That’s why I don’t like friends, I don’t like associating with other girls because there’s too much drama, all they talk about is pimps, fucking pimps, smoking weed and other drugs but no money! When you are in this industry, you don’t need friends, money is the only thing that matters. I regret not finishing high school but I have it in me to get a degree. This is not going to be my lifestyle forever, when I am in my 20’s, 21 to be precise, I will be where I want to be and I’ll quit.

3rd date

3rd date

Everybody knows on the third date we engage in coitus, it’s a concrete rule edged on the stone of life, it’s in the Bible, old testament. How you gon test a man? What do you mean you tired? What’s next, you gonna hit my hand? Unfortunately, the contract is signed and I’ve been hired. I listened to your boring stories and acted like I cared, so great my performance you think our experiences are shared. Oh hell no, the chance to elope was on the first date, the second date is a debate but the third date is the save the date! How you gon leave casually like nothing happened? I played my role what must happen? After all the money I spent on you? Champagne and wine ordered just for you. Lobster and prawns just to impress you. Your time is due, open up the gates cause I’ve been standing in queue. The time has come for me to validate you. Grab your bag, we going to sleep, I’ll get you a Red Bull, this problem ain’t steep. Don’t you know what grown folks do after dinner? I know you do cause you a sinner. I freaked you once when you were thinner and now you are matured and I can’t wait to pin ya. On the bed, on the floor, suck your tits, penetrate you to the core, I’ll french kiss your other tongue, I am better than ever before. Everybody knows on the third date we engage in coitus, what type of panties you wearing, it’s time to misbehave, I hope you all shaved, never mind that I like bush all the same, I’m vintage like I lived in caves.

Cookie Monster

Cookie Monster

I love cookies, num, num, num, num! I devour them to make you cum, cum, cum, cum! Oreos are my favorite, I like to lick what’s in between like a serpent to taste the air. Twist it into two to make it a pair, lick the white off to show some care and pound the black like you wouldn’t compare. I am a cookie connoisseur, I explore under hoods to locate the perfect spot, stick my tongue in to enter the lot, and abuse the inhabitant to send me to court. I am a master of the clit, they go bananas like split cause my tongue game is so lit. Cookies are my favorite, I am addicted, it’s like fame. Whether breakfast, lunch or dinner, it’s all the same. Sometimes I’ll eat them as a snack and hide the shame, different brands tend to cause pain, it’s viewed as infidelity and I am not vain. Truth be told, I can’t commit to one brand till I am old. Variety exists and different brands are sold, and so I am bold, eating all the cookies in my zone. Experimenting and licking everything like ice cream cones. Although I don’t want to be alone, I can’t let go of the different cones, they satisfy and give me pleasure, I won’t do it, they are apart of me like bones. I love different cookies, I spit on them before I eat them, to mark my territory so nobody else can eat them. Pink like strawberries, I taste all of my ladies. Kiss the lips to savior the taste, slow and smooth and never with haste. Make her ejaculate fluids like paste. Attention specialist, make her scream in overtime. Do it again the next time, spotless to remove the grime, just to prove this is my crime. I love cookies, num, num, num, num, I lick until you go numb, numb, numb, numb as long as your reciprocate and give me brain cause I’m so dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.