Superstar II 🌟: OnlyFans

Superstar II 🌟: OnlyFans

This was never my dream nor the plan. I have a degree, I was a teacher, I had purpose. Nowadays, not so much. It’s difficult to love myself but I do my best. I have to concede, I miss it, teaching, having a purpose, contributing something of substance to humanity. I miss being around students and how their eyes would light up after achieving a milestone. I am swerving off the road but I remember when a student of mine got his drivers license, the next day he came up to me and he shared his news, his eyes beamed with excitement, satistifation and pride, possibilities opened up for him and he couldn’t wait for the future. That’s what I miss the most, youthful exuberance. I miss teaching Shakespeare, I love Shakespeare, Othello, Macbeth, Hamlet. This was never the plan, I loved my job, I had purpose, I come from a religious background, I grew up a devot Christian, I never wanted to dance nude on camera for the internet. But life did it’s thing, I was drowning in student loans and credit card debts. The cost of living is too high and inflation a bitch, consumer products keep rising, meanwhile my salary is stagnant. I can’t do anything, I am trapped in a loop and I am also 3 months from being homeless. This was not the plan, dancing and posing on camera for the internet but I had to do it, for the money, the validation and a better life. OnlyFans was my only salvation, at first I hid my face, I tried to be anonymous but somehow it leaked on Twitter. I am guessing someone was looking me up and somehow put 2 and 2 together because next thing I knew, I was trending, I live in a small town, everybody knew. I was suspended and later fired from work, OnlyFans became the center of my universe. Digital prostitution, I am one of the lucky ones, a lot of girls are lured into this life and don’t make much money. Some of these girls end their lives after they realize it’s not as glamorous as advertised. Cause you selling your ass on the internet and sometimes you just don’t move any units but the cost of production haunts you for the rest of your life. Last year I made a cool 2 million. Maybe luck is the wrong word, you gotta invest in the platform, market yourself, produce quality content, you can’t do much with 12 pictures and 3 videos, men are visual creatures, you have to stimulate their imagination, give them something they don’t get from other creators, set yourself a part, keep them coming to see your content. Pornography is free and rife on the internet, how are you going to distinguish yourself? Just some advice, more than 200 pictures and 60 videos is good when you are starting out. Bikini shots and nudes but you have to pick your platforms, for example, you can’t post naked pictures on Instagram, that will get your account removed but you can get away with it on Twitter. Do what you can, fuck who you need to fuck, get your money and reinvest in another area. That’s what I did, I went into Real Estate and bought a farm. It’s futile to delete your account because the internet is forever so I keep it active. If simps want to give me their money, who am I to say no? I get private requests and I execute if the money is right. I never understood the pissing and shitting stuff, still don’t, but I do have the content. I do have boundaries though, like one time some sick weirdo wanted me to fuck a dog. I told him no, I don’t go out of my species. I do this for money and a bit of validation. I love it when men call me a Goddess. I remember when my mother said “it’s a good thing you have a good personality because you are not attractive”, what a horrible thing to say to your daughter. That stayed with me for life. On my OnlyFans, the men think I am attractive and they pay me a premium for proof, that’s good enough for me. I don’t have regrets, I had to and my life is better financially. As long as men keep paying me to see me naked, I am happy to keep dancing and posing for them on camera. Yes, I don’t have friends and my family disowned me but my money keeps me company. We take sex too seriously, like it’s a taboo but it isn’t because we all do it. Does it matter that you do it behind doors and me publicly for everyone in the world to see? I don’t need them in any case, they are hypocrites. I know that my pictures will be on the internet for all of humanity to jerk off to, I know that I have a lot to explain to my daughter who is currently 3 years old but the world is changing, the money is good and I am one of the lucky ones. I am up to it even though it will follow me for a lifetime. This was never my dream nor the plan. I have a degree, I was a teacher, I had purpose.

antakalipa – Superstar II 🌟: OnlyFans

Expelled II

Expelled II

Charmaine Weir-Smith stopped being my friend on Instagram. Goddammit! My life was perfect just a week ago and I had to involve Mia Khalifa! A woman who was disowned by her parents and her home country of Lebanon for her despicable acts in pornography. I should have never posted those videos, I think it’s the “XXX” video that did it, could have been the “Strap-on”, it’s far too explicit, but it’s just words and it’s meant to be humorous. Sigh. But I understand, I deserve the expulsion, it’s warranted, the shock value is too high and it’s far too dirty. It’s ironic how I elevated myself above the boy in her play who got expelled for simulating rape in a video that went viral. I sat in my seat while watching the stage and called him an idiot. I even celebrated while his life was crumbling as he lost his beautiful girlfriend. I didn’t empathize with him, I felt what was happening to him was justified. Funny how life works because now I am that idiot son on the stage. That’s how you know the story on the stage was a good one because it mirrors life. Social media is the Devils playground.

Goddammit Mia Khalifa! My life was perfect just a week ago, I had my favorite actress following me on Instagram and now I am expelled like the idiot son in her play! Oh well, life goes on for the “Consciousness of culture”. These are the stories I want to tell. “Expelled” was a classic. Charmaine could never totally expel me because we are forever linked but sure, I’ll give her her space. I still love her and her work. This is the sequel to “Expelled” and I play the idiot son!

Nietzsche

Nietzsche

Nietzsche’s philosophy was grounded in psychology and human nature, he was a master of human nature. He was a big fan of Arthur Schopenhauer but didn’t agree with the tone of his work because it centered around persimism and nihilism, the idea of why bother since life is meaningless. Nietzsche’s work is an answer to Schopenhauer’s work, it is positive, practical and leads to a life of self-actualization. He was a genius, a man ahead of his time. He correctly predicted the 21st century, this is incredible for a man who was born in the 19th century. I see his observations playing out in life. He saw that the human spirit/soul would be under threat. He saw the decline of Christianity and the rise of nihilism. He saw the reliance of pills, the Soma that Huxley referred to on Brave New World. He saw the depression and society anxiety sweeping the West. He saw the loss of morals, ethics and meaning. He saw that man would be passive and moved by novelty after novelty. We see it today, man would rather sit on the couch, eat potato chips, consume pornography, order fast food that will be delivered to him at his convenience, be entertained by Netflix and repeat next day. Man doesn’t work on himself anymore, he is comfortable and doesn’t feel the need to act on his dreams.

Man is controlled by pleasure, by the dopamine inducing likes on social media, views, sex and everything you can get by pushing a button. There is no process anymore, everything is expedient or prepared in the microwave. Still, Nietzsche has solutions for the modern man. He preaches a life of self-realization and being the best that you can be. He preaches gratitude for life, he preaches life-affirming prescriptions. I understand why the Nazi’s adopted his work and made it theirs. Nietzsche’s work was powerful and centered on the individual being the best. Hitler wanted Germany to be the best in the world. However, Nietzsche’s work didn’t agree with Nazi ideology and we shouldn’t affiliate the two together. Nietzsche’s sisters are the guilty party in this dynamic but that’s a topic for another day.

Nietzsche’s works were inspiring for the individual, statements like “Amo Fati” direct translation, the love of fate – Love everything about your life and be grateful for the gift of life. Don’t wish you were somebody else, be content with your life. Be present and don’t worry about things you cannot control, leave that to God and the Universe. He also preached being the “Ubermench” which translates to Superman or Overman – work on yourself constantly and strive to be better everyday. Progress, show up, make the best of every moment and be the best that you can be. Be better than a consumer, create and build things and never let novelty sway you. His most famous quote, “God is dead” which can be interpreted as be accountable for your own life, be responsible, no excuses, do what you can, no one is coming out to save you.

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