I had a date with destiny. She was everything I thought I wanted. She was prosperous and promised to share her riches with me. She was gorgeous with her make-up on and towering heels. She resembled a Mac advertisement like Pearl Thusi. Damn! I was star struck, lights were flickering all about, it was like a dream and I was unconscious, locked in a trance of Gucci patterns and colors. She was glorious. I was impressed but that was not enough for her. To grant my hearts desires I had to give her my soul. To relinquish control of my core beliefs and values. She wanted my blood on the contract. It was a big test for me. Do I give in and get lost in the magic maze? Or do I stay put and believe in my process and believe that time will prove me right? I’ve been hungry all my life, starved to the bone, dreaming, contemplating about forever and her role in my life. I come from a place of broken dreams, Alex, the hood, a place where dreams die. There’s a reason it’s called Gomorrah, it’s biblical, because it can be hell. Will Sandton City save me with her designer dress and Louis Vuitton handbag? Am I willing to recede into the darkness with her? I have been broke for so long that I feel like a virgin. Do I trust her? She wants too much, I can’t. I will not bend to her rules, her conventions of passivity. She wants to dominate and make all the decisions for me. While life is a stage, I am not a puppet stringed along by a puppeteer. Unfortunately, this is not a Charlie Kaufman movie, this is my life and I am the lead, the star. Maybe if she encouraged growth and freewill. For goodness sakes I am life, a miracle; I sometimes wonder how am I conscious, who are you to want to control that? God? I wish she loved me for who I am. That’s a big frailty in the psychology of man, the tendency to want to be loved and accepted for our intrinsic qualities even though life is subjective and relative. The nerve, we truly are narcissistic creatures. Still, I thought you’d be the one to stroke my ego. It’s a tragedy that life never unfolds the way we want it to. I couldn’t take your offer I am sorry. I am better than this. I am not someone you can ground. I vibrate on a higher frequency. I am too opinionated and yes, I am a “Mr. Know it all” who thinks he knows it all. I won’t apologize for being an individual. I won’t apologize for thinking for myself. I see the world through my lens and don’t seek confirmation from anyone. Do I have a problem with authority? Yes, and I am an egotistical narcissist who has grand visions about his future. That I say with pride. And maybe I am deluded but you can’t bring me down with your domineering and condescending words. You cannot validate who I am, that’s my job. I am too dimensional. I am too great. I emit an energy that’s commanding and my presence is felt like acid to the burning flesh. I am fire, a phenomenon you can’t keep your eyes off. I am exciting like the first day of the new year, I represent great prospects. I am overwhelming like running water in a glass. I am the best. Keep your promises of grandeur, I don’t worship false prophets. I create my own destiny, play the cards that I deal and dominate the world I walk on. While it’s true that I am too hungry, I won’t just eat anything. I am too finicky like a rich housewife better yet a Duchess, a Princess in the upper echelon of the aristocratic circle and so, I never settle. I know my worth. I know where I want to be. It will only take a moment for everything to change. I want it, the winning shot, the headlines, my name in lights, the glory! I will wait for my break, it’s coming.
Mr. Center of attention, loud and space consumer, grounding other people’s participation like detention. Miss “its not my fault you’re so sensitive”. Like “I’m sorry, if you’re offended”. Keep your half baked apologies that are conditional like the weather. You ain’t never gonna change. You think you’re the axis and the world revolves around you. Mr. Monotonising the focus, expert manipulator stringing peoples emotions like Geppetto. You’re not the only real boy in this tale. Miss tantrums and ego trips, oblivious to how you make others feel. Flossing and bragging like you’re on MTV cribs. Mr. starting fights in the clubs and bruising ribs, spoiling the fun for everyone like a canceled trip. Mr ultrasensitive, Mr. know it all, volitile temper, everyone is always wrong and you’re the victim. The victim of circumstance, victim of ill treatment, victim of past experiences, victim of life, everyone hates you and you never asked for all of this – please, no one cares. Miss “I am prettier than her, I’d never wear that, and I only eat gourmet”. We see through your pretentious persona like transparent glass, disguised by your make-up and costumes like Kayfabe, life is not WWE or Keeping up with the Kardashians. Mr. Hogging all the spotlight like “Imma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the greatest videos of all time”. Miss always talking and never listens to anybody; so much for the two ears and one mouth. Mr. Maui, Demi-God of wind and sea, shape-shifting your way out of responsibility with your crooked hook; “what can I say, you’re welcome”. Miss big personality, Queen Bee, imposing your will on your workforce with an iron fist. Mr fabricator of stories that conveniently suit your narrative and expands your inflated ego. Miss control freak dictating everything like a beast. Mr. take credit for your ideas and work. Miss show off with no substance, empty as a tin can. Mr. Blame everyone else and point fingers only to disregard the 3 pointing back. Miss destroy your confidence and frame to gain advantage over your mind. Mr. & Miss deep rooted insecurities, chronic bullies, passive aggressive energy, no self-awareness, self absorbed, so whack.
I had a foe disguised as a friend who spread rumors about me and I happened to be in attendance when his life crumbled and so I smiled at his misfortunes, it was a case of schadenfreude and I reveled in his suffering. He deserved it, two timing son of a bitch, why would I feel sorry for a monster? Crocodile tears don’t work on a porn star. I know I am evil but it’s a property and not a character like how De Niro paints houses and does his own carpentry. Let him suffer, that’s my official commentry. Body and bones decomposing in the cemetery. I have love but I can also practice hate, pulling heads out like masturbate. I have dark and impure thoughts. I hear voices in my head to push buttons and pull triggers. Killing in cold blood doesn’t lurk in my shadows, it’s illuminated by the sun. I am not a psychopath and indifferent to people’s suffering, but my schadenfreude episode felt good. I am emphatic but don’t piss me off for I can switch like a light, illuminating your ignorance and dimming out your sight. The smile is a facade and the silence a warning, you don’t know me. I am the offspring of Adam and Eve, directly related to Cain and Able, dangerous like a distorted label. I know I am evil, I am disturbed, I fantasize about murder and splattered brains. I pump out ice-cold blood in my vains. I am cold blooded and calculating, my brothers Cain. I might torture you and discard your pain.
Whose got your best interests at heart? Just because we grew up together don’t mean anything. We could be just a fad or a very long one night stand. We could be a product of peer pressure or maybe adolescence. The longing to fit in a social dynamic, a psychological phenema that defines the human condition. Who did you take your first sip of beer with? That shared experience bonds us like fetus with its mother, it is primal like your family tree, it binds like an imprint. Do we have shared beliefs or using each other to reaffirm the suffering that’s prevalent in our lives. Are we codependent narcissists reflecting our biases like a mirror? Who holds the frame in our relationship? Did we out grow our adolescence years or still stuck in the rut fighting for our independence and carving out a self-identity? Is it a power-strugle or someone is passive? Is our mutual undertaking enhancing the quality of our lives? Are we vibrating to the betterment of humankind? Or is it just peer pressure, the opportunity to try out the drug, be well-liked and fuck bitches? Do l have a void that’s being exploited like a flank that keeps me from being the best that I can be? Do I have childhood repressions that enable me to commit the same mistakes? Do I subconsciously hate and sabotage myself? Am I being manipulated by external factors? Are you using me? Can I trust someone outside of myself? Do I have friends? I don’t trust anyone proclaiming to the world that we friends because that’s usually followed by a stab in the back. You? Best friends with who? Why do you feel the need to tie me down in front of an audience? What are you hiding? What are your intentions? Why do you need to make a show of it? Don’t I know that you are a friend? Are you really a friend or a foe? Do I still need you in my life?
There we go again, trying to explain what just is. Words give us comfort because they attempt to create meaning in an otherwise meaningless world. Everything is a fabrication of the mind and we control nothing outside of ourselves. Everything is an illusion and you are hallucinating reality. What you call friends is YOU reflected back, your values, your character and your beliefs about yourself. The universe just is and you only attract the things that are true for you. You are energy, a spirit, having a human experience. Everything starts with you, all is mind and you have all the power. Peer pressure exists because you haven’t mastered yourself and are still operating under somebody’s frame. If you love yourself, love will gravitate around you and you will have what people in this dimension call “good friends” who love you and will aid you in times of distress. That’s how Nelson Mandela defeated apartheid, with the irrefutable truth of the injustices of the system, it defined him, he was immovable and he attracted friends from all around the world who aided him in defeating the unjust oppressors of the crooked system. Friends like life are impermanent, they are aids who assist as you progress through the evolution of life. Friends are a timeline of life and current mindset as you progress through it. Friends are a direct reflection of you, If you have suspect friends than you have a suspect character. We progress in the direction of our 5 closest friends. We are all judged by the company we keep. Guard who and what you welcome in your life, be mindful when you are flirting with the devil.
Urban poet Kanye West once stated “They say people in your life are seasons and anything that happens is for a reason”, that summarizes this post in a couple of lines. Who are you currently “vibing” with? Vibing of course is colloquial for vibration. The people you are vibing with currently reveal your tastes, your beliefs, your character, your social status and position, your dreams, your destiny. The people who you are vibing with are a direct reflection of who you are. In essence, they are your friends and you are your friends. Everybody has friends, who are yours? My past friends were backstabbers infested with jealousy so I stopped associating with them because they reflected something I was not. I am not a fan of fake smiles and poisonous praise. Deception leaks like a faltering pipe. I always look for the best in people but I expect the worst to balance out the equation. Time and time again I am disappointed with human nature but the effect has lost its potency so I am more understanding of narcissistic tendencies and irrationalities, I know what to expect, I know when to exit like a trader scalping the market. Friends are supposed to change because you are constantly evolving. Anything that isn’t growing or evolving is dying. If we are evolving together then that’s special, for you are the source of my growth, you help me get better, you inspire me, you care about me, you see yourself in my image, you are my friend for a lifetime and I appreciate you and the value you bring to my life. Adolescence is just a phase and peer pressure is just two words lined up next to each other, an excuse to shift responsibilities, the truth is that you want it like an addict whether you consciously acknowledge it or not.
They are Barzinin’ you, watch out for the traitors! How do you know if you have good friends? That’s difficult considering the structure of reality. Defining reality is difficult and complicated because we reside in an ocean of phenomena that we don’t know nor understand. Like consciousness, we don’t know what it is, where it is located and how we can account for it. We also have cognitive biases that our minds can’t control. Which leads to the question. Are we in control of our actions or just a program dictated by socio-economic factors, peers and family? Are our thoughts, really our thoughts? Are we the autonomous creatures we would like to think of ourselves? The truth is that we are a byproduct of our ancestors, a continuation of the human thread, the progression of evolution. As such we have evolved to be in sync with our environment to survive. Being in sync with the environment and nature helped with food, this is important because food helps with the survival of a species. Being in sync with the environment helped us recognize patterns around all nature. It helped us create order in a world overwhelmed with chaos. It helped create structures. It helped create time, time is a man-made construction. It helped us predict cycles so we could perfect models like agriculture which was the heart of the industrial revolution. This evidence strongly suggests that we are a product of our environment. It does not only hold true for human beings, this is exhibited in all the ecosystems of the animal kingdom. Harsh conditions makes it impossible for life to flourish, it is for that reason that grass doesn’t grow in the dessert, however we do have life in the dessert. Life that flourishes in the dessert has adapted to the conditions and internalized its surroundings. For the evolution of the species, it was do or die, it is at the mercy of its environment to make it. This makes sense because if nuclear hits the planet, it would be difficult for any life to flourish. We are our environment, our socio-economic status, our friends and families. You can make the claim that even our ideas and thoughts are not our own. We are influenced by everything all around us, the books we read, the media, our peers, families and even our ancestors. Everything about us, we are taught by the culture all around us. Everything is stored by the subconscious mind and it further runs a program of our lives based on the data that it receives. The data, your thoughts become your reality. And so, it makes sense to be in an environment that is sustainable to your growth. It makes sense to be around people who are like-minded, that will help you reach your destination faster, it will help with the program of your life. It makes sense to be around good friends and family members. By nature man is gregarious, meaning that he has always relied on others to survive and thrive. The saying “no man is an Island” holds true because we need the assistance of others to progress in the hierarchical world, we need other people to assist in regards to finding a mate to construct a future with or at the bare minimal to reproduce to sustain the legacy, to sustain life. We can’t choose our family but at least we can choose our friends and mates. Choosing the right partner and friends is the most important decision of your life, it is literally the difference between a good life and a horrid existence – it has the power to define your whole life and the trajectory to which it moves. Life is characterized by the company we keep, our environment, dominant thoughts, the culture we were born into and our conceptions about the structure of reality. With that said, how do you know if you have a good friend?
This is difficult to assess because by nature human beings are very deceptive creatures, we lie, get jealous, kill and camouflage ourselves to be well-liked or gain positions of power. True power is not rising to the top with an iron fist, or deceit or propaganda, its truthful collaboration with others with the intent of finding a common ground. This is the essence of sales, this is the fundamental law of the business of life. Of course, that’s not how things operate because all of life is full of deception. Lions hide in the grass to get to their preys. Human beings are consummate actors and wear masks to conceal their intentions. These masks form what is called a “persona” and these personas and masks change depending on the people we meet. Human beings are not linear creatures, they are unpredictable and highly volatile. Human beings are not constant and can change at the snap of the finger. This is an evolutionary trait, the ability to adapt to different environments and survive. Be wary of anything a human being says because 9/10 times, it’s an attempt to deceive you. Never take anything that a human being says to you at face value to be accurate, in fact, what another human being says to you is irrelevant, it doesn’t mean anything – look at the actions and you’ll have your answers. Human beings are liars. It is engrained in their DNA. It is nature. From as early as 3 months an infant will fake a cry to get the attention of his/her caregiver. Beware of the false prophet who professes to have all the answers. All is fair in love and war. Words are super strength power for Superman like they are for a human being. Words are a superpower. Words mask true intentions. They deceive. They lead astray. They are poison. They make you yield. They manipulate and control. Someone professing to love you doesn’t mean anything and anybody saying his a friend is not necessarily a friend. It’s doublespeak, an attempt to lower your guard. This evidence suggests that deceit works and hence, we do it unconsciously. Deceit gives you momentary momentum and short consistent strides can elevate you to the top of the hierarchy. This is what life is all about, who has the better hand? All of life is a game, guard your winning cards and strategize your moves for maximum output. You best attack is defense, understand words don’t mean anything and they can never get to you. Action is the true language of the Universe.
Luckily we have ways to spot a good friend. A true friend is one who acts more than he talks. A true friend always shows his values. A true friend is someone who wants the best for you. It’s someone who recognizes you as his brother or sister. A true friend will never let somebody talk ill of you in his presence. A true friend is not a gossip. A true friend has a growth-mentality. A true friend is one who motivates you to being the best that you can be. A true friend understands that if you do great, then the whole of humanity benefits. A true friend is someone who celebrates your great news like they were his. A true friend is someone who is emphatic and assists at times of great distress. A true friend is someone who listens to your boring long story and stays engaged with it. If you tell your friend something and they start making the conversation about them, switching it up, telling you about some grander thing that happened to them, then sorry, you do not have a friend. A true friend cares about what you have to say because it pertains to your well-being. A true friend would never break your frame. Besides, this is about reciprocity, one day they will do the same for you; would you appreciate it if your friend took the spotlight off you? A true friend doesn’t change because the love is organic and has compounded over the years, it serves as the permanent persona in his structure of being. A true friend treats you like how he treats himself. A true friend talks positively about you because he sees himself/herself in you and is grateful to be acquainted with you. A true friend is someone who wants you to grow because selfishly, it will make him/her better. A true friend will always be on your side and advise you of your shortcomings. A true friend makes the initiative. A true friend loves being in your company. A true friend makes you feel good about yourself. A true friend helps you crystalize your thoughts so they are at least clear to you. You cannot be afraid of telling your friend how you feel or your good news. If your friend doesn’t know anything real about you, then they are not a friend. A true friend is a crutch, something that will help you to stand up when your legs give up on you. It is difficult to find a true friend because a true friend is somebody who loves you and to have that mutual connection is WOW; this is because life is difficult and we live in a capitalistic system that says to survive, you have to discredit and kill another. It is a system fostered on greed and monopolistic power and control. This means sooner rather than later, egos clash and the end result is a massacre. When you have a true friend, egos take the back seat because you both understand that it’s not real. Friendship is a mutual contract of love, collaboration and understanding.
Be with people who want the best for you. This shapes your reality and dictates what is projected onto the objective world. People who want the best for you want you to progress. They are a nurturing place for dreams. They help you move forward in the world. They have a herd mentality that is infectious and is dictated by the unconscious force of winning. Birds of the same feathers flock together. Understand your environment. Understand the purpose of the people in your life. This is important because this will dictate your thoughts and thoughts are life energy. Understand what you want to achieve out of life and strive to get it with the aid of like-minded individuals. Like-minded individuals are friends because you all share the same goal. The goal of winning the soccer World Cup final. Weed out people who are not conducive to the way you want to live. Weed out people who have no utility in your life. Weed out people who make you drift. Weed out the people whose words are not in line with their actions. This will keep your mind clear and you’ll be able to make better informed decisions. Fake friends camouflage themselves in a crowd of people so they can take a shot. They do this maim you, to assassinate your character, to get you to lose confidence in yourself. They do this with passive aggressive language disguised as jokes or something to take lightly, and as we know, it’s not jokes and it’s not funny. Eliminate them swiftly and clear the room as soon as possible. This will give you room to see an attack when it’s coming. It will enable you to better prepare your tactics. There is nothing worse than being killed by a cowardice accident murderer. Someone who lurks in the dark like a thief in the night. No, when you kill a king it has to be in the presence of everyone. Get rid of the toxic influences in your life. Get rid of people who project negative things onto you; “you can’t do it, not me!” We all have insecurities that is not an excuse to break someone’s frame, in order to feel good about yourself. Stay away from angry people. Stay away from unlucky people. Being around fake friends is dangerous because they can make deals that spell out your demise. You’ll never see it coming too because of their fake genuine smiles. Do you know how they are going to get to you? Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. Be prepared. Keep your circle small and concentrate your forces, you can delegate and outsource everything else. Keep your mind clean because the Universe is mental. If you do not have a true friend, it’s fine, it’s better to navigate the world alone than to have pretenders by your side, it’s better to not delude yourself, it’s better to stand alone – you will stretch farther. You will lead a more fulfilled life, you will be strengthened by your truth and the gates of reality will open up more for you. You will attract genuine things, you will be happier.
I ran into an old friend I used to attend school with. He was good, in great spirits, looked healthy but he wasn’t happy with how I looked. He said, “You are so thin, is that you? You are finished.” I replied “Yea, it is me.” I replied to his sentiment disregarding the content obviously happy to see him. We engaged in a bit of small talk until he came back to his main point “You are so thin, you are finished my brother”, we exchanged pleasantries and drifted off in different directions but his comments stayed with me. It was as if he were looking down on me, it was pity, a side of schadenfreude, he was in disbelief, I felt like a disgraced fallen soildier. A couple of days before, a friend told me I had lost weight and I agreed to his observations but I didn’t think it was that bad. You mean I put on weight just to lose it again? Plausible, I was stressed and neglecting my eating schedule. Did you hear the whispers? They say I am on drugs, nyaope. Oh no! But you don’t treat me like an addict, my skin is still glowing and your girl is still on my dick! So it must be slander, yet another dirty trick from the devil. It feels like I have tumbled to the bottom and no one respects me anymore. The latest comments got to me because it was an echo, one that was rampant because it was true and I knew it. I did lose weight. Things were not that good for me. I was broke. I was not happy. I suffered. Fighting for what I believed in and my dreams of the future has been hard. Would you believe in what you believed in even if you were the only one? It has been cold and I get no love from my immediate surroundings, just disappointments. Pangs of torment piecing through my skin on a daily signaling electrical currents to my brain to induce trauma and pain. It’s a recurring occurrence, people think they are superior to me because I am struggling to feed myself, some think they own me. It doesn’t help that I am sensitive, an empath, a magnet for narcissists. Lately it seems like they have the upper hand. They keep making proclamations like:
You are mine and I own you. I bought everything you eat and you swallow my essence. I am the reason you living a good life, I own you. Your friends loves me, your whole family, they all love me, what are you going to do, they all love me, I own you, you are mine. I own everything you see here including you, you are mine. I am the pulse that gives you life and I can make you flatline if I wanted to, I own you. Your hands behind your back, you are in bondage, to my whims, my needs and everything I desire because remember, I own you. You are mine to do what I like with. You may think you have rights but you are mine and I own you. Everything you touch, your clothes, the hair, the shoes, your happiness, all mine, I own you. Get that into your mind, you are nothing without me, I own you, I can make you suffer, I can make you cry, you are mine, I own you.
Nothing worthwhile comes easy so I thank you, I learned to rely on my own wits and less upon other people. I am better. I am stronger. I will fight ahead and when I win its going to be on my terms.
I am still here, the vision is still intact, I will bulk up weight, I am stronger and I will rule. Your victory was a fleeting experience, the War is mine. I play the long game and I always win. You are wrong. I never wavered, my eyes are still on the prize, you don’t own me. All the petty humiliations were child’s play. I shrugged off your insults like dirt on my shoulders. I forecasted all your conditions like the weather and so I was prepared. You couldn’t play me even if I were a piano. I saw your power plays and opted to stand idle. I’d rather be a spectator watching you make a fool of yourself. Give them the rope, they all hang themselves if it’s got leeway. I am a sentient being and freedom is a given. I’d rather be hungry and thin than succumb to your views about my life. I never listen to anything you say. I belong to God and I have the faith of a mustard seed. You might have the cards now, but the game goes on and the deck has to be reshuffled. An early lead doesn’t guarantee you the marathon win. I am not a title deed, I have never been yours even for a second. Your perceived superiority is all in your head. The Gaslighting won’t work, I know all the facts. You can never break me even if we were playing pool. Your worst nightmare is coming to fruition, I am everything you deemed and I don’t need you. My dreams are finally gaining traction and your perceived power waning. I am coming for everything and you will acknowledge me!
I see all your pretensions and theatricalies, staged with meticulous acting and false modesty, masked in deceits that hide your true identity like a VPN. I know you’re a pretender. A bystander. I know you’re the one spreading rumors, tarnishing my name like a slander.
I know the humorous stories that you tell, Mr. Comedian, Kevin Hart, “Laugh at my pain”, I hear everyone is amused. Why wouldn’t I be happy for you, I am bemused.
My fingers are crossed like a Christian, I hope you make it. I love your crowd and how they reciprocating your energy, you’re in sync like a Mexican wave. Timid with your little skirts hiding in the cave. Bitches!
I know you are intimidated by my greatness and you pray for my downfall like a drought. The sky is clear and I am still reigning. I see your insincere smiles and back handed comments. Moving and inhabiting my space like a comet.
You tell on yourself like a mirror reflecting all your fears and insecurities. You lack an inner campus and that’s just one of your propensities. I know, I reside in your mind rent free like a landlord, struggling to straighten me out like a phone cord, listen, press record, spoiler alert, I win, you might as well be reborn. Bitches!
I know, I know, you worship the land I walk on. Imitate my style and would like my life for a mile.
I know, I am everything you yearn to be. I know I haunt your conscious reality. I know you wanna be me. Silence is not weakness, I see everything like big brother, trust me, I know.
You are so great. You are so beautiful. You are the love of my life. I can’t live without you. You are my world. You are my everything. You are my rock. You are my champion. I am proud to have you as my man. You are handsome. You are the best lover I have ever had in my life. You are my first. I never want to experience life without you. You make me happy. You are a good person. I would die without you. You are once in a lifetime. I am nothing without you. You bring me peace. You have great charisma. You are my home. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You changed my life. You are so intelligent. I am grateful to have you in my life. I appreciate you. I worship you. You are charming. I love you so much. Being in your presence is an honor. No one is like you. You are the best. You are special. You are the greatest of all time. You have a great sense of humor. You are the sexiest woman alive. You have a banging body. Have you been working out? I love your abs and defined biceps. You are perfection personified. You deserve your wealth. Any woman is lucky to have you. You have a great ass. I love your fashion sense. You have a pleasing personality. You are successful. You have a great smile. You are the smartest person I know. You are my best friend. You have a pure heart. You saved me. You are full of passion. You are the perfect gentleman. You are the hardest working person in the room. You are a classy lady. You are kind and considerate. You bring joy to my life. You have a great entrepreneurial drive. You go all night. You make me orgasm. You are a sex God!
When we no longer fighting, woah that’s bad. It sends out the message that none of this is worth it anymore. It is to resign. It’s whatever. Like “I don’t wanna do this anymore, do what you want, whatever makes you sleep at night, it’s your life”. When we no longer fighting, we are final like death, we are no longer emotionally invested, we just don’t care anymore. To no longer fight is to accept defeat and all its conditions, to not have the will to carry on. It is to have all your enthusiasm suspended. It is to reserve your energy and voice, to be mute like a mime and cease to do anything like a statue. When we no longer fighting, woah that’s bad. Do something, hit me, curse me, cry, plot my murder, do something, anything! Don’t turn your back on me. Don’t walk away from me. Maybe I’ve taken you for granted, maybe your presence has spoiled me, maybe I am entitled but I love you, please don’t go, I need you in my life. Say something, sell me dreams, tell me another lie. The silent treatment is the worst kind of torture. It makes you doubt yourself and your worth. It makes you paranoid, it unmasks your insecurities, it sheds a light on childhood repressions. The silent treatment can make you go crazy! Let’s fight, get dressed in our ninja outfits and duel with our samari swords till dawn. You can verbally abuse me and unpack old baggage. Morality is out of the picture, you can fight dirty and collaborate with Hitler and Putin. You can rake eyes and deliver lowblows. Let’s fight, all is fair and whatever happens, happens. Let’s clear the air and prepare life insurance documents, just in case. Stonewalling each other is not healthy, I’d rather have a broken heart and shattered reality. Fighting is good, it leads to something, it’s progress, something we can build on. When we no longer fighting, woah that’s bad.
I remember when a friend of mine had some news he wanted to tell his inner circle. He decided to start a business and the responses were overwhelmingly positive except for one comment. It wasn’t that bad but it was disguised, sly, hidden and subtle. The comment was “Well done, hopefully you’ll make some money”. I felt it was in bad taste because he implied that he was doing this for the money. He shifted the focus of the news of starting the business to making money.
The comment was passive aggressive. That is what cognitive dissonance is about. Saying one thing and doing another. It is poisonous praise. It is being conflicted, it is being split into two, it is confusing, it is inconsistent. Like God loving us and sending us to hell. What a suspect anology Christianity.
I think that passive aggressive language and behavior works so much because it is indirect and leaves much to the imagination. Being passive aggressive is popular today. Like that one person who always comes late for meetings and always apologizes, like “alright man we get it, you superior to all of us”. Or that one guy who takes an eternity to respond to your texts despite the fact that his been online all day, we see the power play my man.
Deep narcissists are masters of passive aggressive behavior. They want to keep you dependent on them. They are deluded because we always see what they are doing. They think they are clever and slick but we see. Everyone knows a deep narcissist.
Carl Jung has taught me to accept people as they are, accept them as facts, don’t take things personally because we are all repressed and we tend to project on to people a lot. We also have shadows and biases. Being a human being is hard work.
antakalipa 