I am a cool guy, I ain’t got beef with anyone. I serve up what you give out. If you treat me good and with respect you’ll receive that a thousand fold, but if you an asshole I am happy to dish out shit. No excuses, no privileges, control yourself. I am a pro at your passive aggressive antics – what? Did you honestly think that you were smarter than everybody else? Funny guy, out of sync, you ain’t shit. I see through disguises too, masks can’t fool real eyes. If you want beef I am happy to serve it on a platter. If you organizing a hit, make sure it sticks cause if you botch it, I am coming for your soul. I am tired of being humble, I am the greatest of all time, come close and I’ll show you, anytime, any place. Receipts, receipts, receipts I am happy to reflect your tastes. If you want a battle, I am happy to oppose you. Words don’t count, it’s your actions that are gold. I am a fucked up person too and I am ready to exercise my repressions. Receipts, apologies don’t mean much prepare yourself for my comeback. I hold grudges, I never forget and I am coming for your ass. Receipts, don’t start wars you can’t finish. No negotiations, no treaties, everything will end up in fire and smoke. Cause I don’t give a shit, I am narcissistic, grandiose, egotistic, irrational and envious, so please give me an opportunity to exercise my nature. Receipts, cross the line please, I am begging you! Disrespect me, slander me, make me the scapegoat and I’ll show you why I am the goat. Receipts, receipts, receipts you on an imaginary pedestal, time to take you down and humble ya. Receipts, cause I also don’t care, I am after power, I am merely a reflection of you.
I had a date with destiny. She was everything I thought I wanted. She was prosperous and promised to share her riches with me. She was gorgeous with her make-up on and towering heels. She resembled a Mac advertisement like Pearl Thusi. Damn! I was star struck, lights were flickering all about, it was like a dream and I was unconscious, locked in a trance of Gucci patterns and colors. She was glorious. I was impressed but that was not enough for her. To grant my hearts desires I had to give her my soul. To relinquish control of my core beliefs and values. She wanted my blood on the contract. It was a big test for me. Do I give in and get lost in the magic maze? Or do I stay put and believe in my process and believe that time will prove me right? I’ve been hungry all my life, starved to the bone, dreaming, contemplating about forever and her role in my life. I come from a place of broken dreams, Alex, the hood, a place where dreams die. There’s a reason it’s called Gomorrah, it’s biblical, because it can be hell. Will Sandton City save me with her designer dress and Louis Vuitton handbag? Am I willing to recede into the darkness with her? I have been broke for so long that I feel like a virgin. Do I trust her? She wants too much, I can’t. I will not bend to her rules, her conventions of passivity. She wants to dominate and make all the decisions for me. While life is a stage, I am not a puppet stringed along by a puppeteer. Unfortunately, this is not a Charlie Kaufman movie, this is my life and I am the lead, the star. Maybe if she encouraged growth and freewill. For goodness sakes I am life, a miracle; I sometimes wonder how am I conscious, who are you to want to control that? God? I wish she loved me for who I am. That’s a big frailty in the psychology of man, the tendency to want to be loved and accepted for our intrinsic qualities even though life is subjective and relative. The nerve, we truly are narcissistic creatures. Still, I thought you’d be the one to stroke my ego. It’s a tragedy that life never unfolds the way we want it to. I couldn’t take your offer I am sorry. I am better than this. I am not someone you can ground. I vibrate on a higher frequency. I am too opinionated and yes, I am a “Mr. Know it all” who thinks he knows it all. I won’t apologize for being an individual. I won’t apologize for thinking for myself. I see the world through my lens and don’t seek confirmation from anyone. Do I have a problem with authority? Yes, and I am an egotistical narcissist who has grand visions about his future. That I say with pride. And maybe I am deluded but you can’t bring me down with your domineering and condescending words. You cannot validate who I am, that’s my job. I am too dimensional. I am too great. I emit an energy that’s commanding and my presence is felt like acid to the burning flesh. I am fire, a phenomenon you can’t keep your eyes off. I am exciting like the first day of the new year, I represent great prospects. I am overwhelming like running water in a glass. I am the best. Keep your promises of grandeur, I don’t worship false prophets. I create my own destiny, play the cards that I deal and dominate the world I walk on. While it’s true that I am too hungry, I won’t just eat anything. I am too finicky like a rich housewife better yet a Duchess, a Princess in the upper echelon of the aristocratic circle and so, I never settle. I know my worth. I know where I want to be. It will only take a moment for everything to change. I want it, the winning shot, the headlines, my name in lights, the glory! I will wait for my break, it’s coming.
Mr. Center of attention, loud and space consumer, grounding other people’s participation like detention. Miss “its not my fault you’re so sensitive”. Like “I’m sorry, if you’re offended”. Keep your half baked apologies that are conditional like the weather. You ain’t never gonna change. You think you’re the axis and the world revolves around you. Mr. Monotonising the focus, expert manipulator stringing peoples emotions like Geppetto. You’re not the only real boy in this tale. Miss tantrums and ego trips, oblivious to how you make others feel. Flossing and bragging like you’re on MTV cribs. Mr. starting fights in the clubs and bruising ribs, spoiling the fun for everyone like a canceled trip. Mr ultrasensitive, Mr. know it all, volitile temper, everyone is always wrong and you’re the victim. The victim of circumstance, victim of ill treatment, victim of past experiences, victim of life, everyone hates you and you never asked for all of this – please, no one cares. Miss “I am prettier than her, I’d never wear that, and I only eat gourmet”. We see through your pretentious persona like transparent glass, disguised by your make-up and costumes like Kayfabe, life is not WWE or Keeping up with the Kardashians. Mr. Hogging all the spotlight like “Imma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the greatest videos of all time”. Miss always talking and never listens to anybody; so much for the two ears and one mouth. Mr. Maui, Demi-God of wind and sea, shape-shifting your way out of responsibility with your crooked hook; “what can I say, you’re welcome”. Miss big personality, Queen Bee, imposing your will on your workforce with an iron fist. Mr fabricator of stories that conveniently suit your narrative and expands your inflated ego. Miss control freak dictating everything like a beast. Mr. take credit for your ideas and work. Miss show off with no substance, empty as a tin can. Mr. Blame everyone else and point fingers only to disregard the 3 pointing back. Miss destroy your confidence and frame to gain advantage over your mind. Mr. & Miss deep rooted insecurities, chronic bullies, passive aggressive energy, no self-awareness, self absorbed, so whack.
She told me she loved me and at that moment I was trapped because I was only interested in what was between her thighs. I felt it was a premeditated move consciously executed to land her man. She is vindictive and this is a ploy to possess all of me like a prisoner, a slave. That is what love is all about, control over the other person. Love is strategic ploy to weaken and exploit. Love is a flanking maneuver that surprises and hurts the opposition. Love is tact to make somebody vulnerable, a blow that makes a soldier reeling and a poison that kills without medical assistance. Love is war, deadly and compromising. I resent the notion that we were made of gold and sunshine. That is not what a human being is at all because like Nietzsche once stated, even good actions are sublimated evil ones. She showed her hand too soon. It was rash, impulsive, expedient and unsedective. Still, I had to be careful because I knew where that blurt came from. It was truthful expression on her side, her shadow and it came from a fabricated reality. All of her life she has been chasing the idea of love. She loved the idea of somebody completing her. She loved the idea of somebody instinctively knowing her thoughts and how she felt. The culture of romanticism had consumed all of her being. She was impractical living in a world where she chased novelty after novelty. She had a low self-esteem and confidence. Maybe, it was because she had been hurt before. Maybe, it hurt her to the core that it dismantled her self-worth and identity. Maybe this is delicate and sensitive. It could be me, something about my childhood and how I was raised. It could be that I had a narcissistic mother who never gave me much attention and that I am scared of being abandoned and so I do it to others before they do it to me. Maybe I am a written-off vehicle, completely wrecked and damaged. Still, I had to answer or run the risk of dead air taking over. I responded “I love you squared.” It sounded vague and contained possibilities. It sounded like an illusion. It hinted at loving you more but meant nothing like that. It was an exceptional counter-attacking move, one with precision and amazing creativity. The answer had to be great too, if I had any chance of being between her thighs. See, it was a mission of mine, a dream – her thighs were like a gateway to heaven, to paradise. I felt like a jackhammer anticipating to be used. A bomb on countdown awaiting to explode, figuratively and literally in her. Her body excited my middleman and love had nothing to do with it. What I felt was merely physical. A longing to express my desires on her. She represented an object to gratify my sexual urges. Besides being an object, she meant nothing to me. I resent the fact that she would tell me that she loves me when I was trying to climb, to be the best. I am young, black, gifted and amazing and she is trying to cling on to me, to lay claim and preserve like vegetables in the refrigerator. I am not a possession, I am not a vegetable in someone’s refrigerator – I belong to the world and any woman who inquires. Am I a bad person? Sure, but she’s the hypocrite and the liar, camouflaging herself to the exterior of love when she doesn’t know my intrinsic value. How can you claim to love someone you barely know? This is just the duality of life, the realization that we mean different things to different people. The realization that we are a coin toss and fittingly, theres a third side to a coin, the side that gives the coin its duality. She is wrong for loving me so abruptly. After all, would she love me if the word “love” didn’t exist? Highly unlikely, she would have requested a signature to my death warrant. So yes, sure I am an exceptional human being. At least she knows what I want. There’s a big bullseye sign between her legs and I want to be the nail that gets hammered in repeatedly. I wish to penetrate through the curtains of life. I am interested in the energy force that propelled humanity forward in our long ancestry line. Her personality is of little relevance to me; I am only interested in what is between her thighs. Personality depends upon the environment and culture, it is not reliable to be considered as critera. I wish she could detach from her body, it would be ideal. But since that’s an impossibility, I have to be patient with her. By professing her love to me, in my hands I have her vanity and ego; I can make her do anything that I want. She is eager to impress. While I don’t consider her a serious project, I do see her as an adequate mistress, somebody there when called upon to gratify my urges. Alternatively, we could fuck just one more time then she’ll be somebody that I used to know. But why limit yourself?
They are Barzinin’ you, watch out for the traitors! How do you know if you have good friends? That’s difficult considering the structure of reality. Defining reality is difficult and complicated because we reside in an ocean of phenomena that we don’t know nor understand. Like consciousness, we don’t know what it is, where it is located and how we can account for it. We also have cognitive biases that our minds can’t control. Which leads to the question. Are we in control of our actions or just a program dictated by socio-economic factors, peers and family? Are our thoughts, really our thoughts? Are we the autonomous creatures we would like to think of ourselves? The truth is that we are a byproduct of our ancestors, a continuation of the human thread, the progression of evolution. As such we have evolved to be in sync with our environment to survive. Being in sync with the environment and nature helped with food, this is important because food helps with the survival of a species. Being in sync with the environment helped us recognize patterns around all nature. It helped us create order in a world overwhelmed with chaos. It helped create structures. It helped create time, time is a man-made construction. It helped us predict cycles so we could perfect models like agriculture which was the heart of the industrial revolution. This evidence strongly suggests that we are a product of our environment. It does not only hold true for human beings, this is exhibited in all the ecosystems of the animal kingdom. Harsh conditions makes it impossible for life to flourish, it is for that reason that grass doesn’t grow in the dessert, however we do have life in the dessert. Life that flourishes in the dessert has adapted to the conditions and internalized its surroundings. For the evolution of the species, it was do or die, it is at the mercy of its environment to make it. This makes sense because if nuclear hits the planet, it would be difficult for any life to flourish. We are our environment, our socio-economic status, our friends and families. You can make the claim that even our ideas and thoughts are not our own. We are influenced by everything all around us, the books we read, the media, our peers, families and even our ancestors. Everything about us, we are taught by the culture all around us. Everything is stored by the subconscious mind and it further runs a program of our lives based on the data that it receives. The data, your thoughts become your reality. And so, it makes sense to be in an environment that is sustainable to your growth. It makes sense to be around people who are like-minded, that will help you reach your destination faster, it will help with the program of your life. It makes sense to be around good friends and family members. By nature man is gregarious, meaning that he has always relied on others to survive and thrive. The saying “no man is an Island” holds true because we need the assistance of others to progress in the hierarchical world, we need other people to assist in regards to finding a mate to construct a future with or at the bare minimal to reproduce to sustain the legacy, to sustain life. We can’t choose our family but at least we can choose our friends and mates. Choosing the right partner and friends is the most important decision of your life, it is literally the difference between a good life and a horrid existence – it has the power to define your whole life and the trajectory to which it moves. Life is characterized by the company we keep, our environment, dominant thoughts, the culture we were born into and our conceptions about the structure of reality. With that said, how do you know if you have a good friend?
This is difficult to assess because by nature human beings are very deceptive creatures, we lie, get jealous, kill and camouflage ourselves to be well-liked or gain positions of power. True power is not rising to the top with an iron fist, or deceit or propaganda, its truthful collaboration with others with the intent of finding a common ground. This is the essence of sales, this is the fundamental law of the business of life. Of course, that’s not how things operate because all of life is full of deception. Lions hide in the grass to get to their preys. Human beings are consummate actors and wear masks to conceal their intentions. These masks form what is called a “persona” and these personas and masks change depending on the people we meet. Human beings are not linear creatures, they are unpredictable and highly volatile. Human beings are not constant and can change at the snap of the finger. This is an evolutionary trait, the ability to adapt to different environments and survive. Be wary of anything a human being says because 9/10 times, it’s an attempt to deceive you. Never take anything that a human being says to you at face value to be accurate, in fact, what another human being says to you is irrelevant, it doesn’t mean anything – look at the actions and you’ll have your answers. Human beings are liars. It is engrained in their DNA. It is nature. From as early as 3 months an infant will fake a cry to get the attention of his/her caregiver. Beware of the false prophet who professes to have all the answers. All is fair in love and war. Words are super strength power for Superman like they are for a human being. Words are a superpower. Words mask true intentions. They deceive. They lead astray. They are poison. They make you yield. They manipulate and control. Someone professing to love you doesn’t mean anything and anybody saying his a friend is not necessarily a friend. It’s doublespeak, an attempt to lower your guard. This evidence suggests that deceit works and hence, we do it unconsciously. Deceit gives you momentary momentum and short consistent strides can elevate you to the top of the hierarchy. This is what life is all about, who has the better hand? All of life is a game, guard your winning cards and strategize your moves for maximum output. You best attack is defense, understand words don’t mean anything and they can never get to you. Action is the true language of the Universe.
Luckily we have ways to spot a good friend. A true friend is one who acts more than he talks. A true friend always shows his values. A true friend is someone who wants the best for you. It’s someone who recognizes you as his brother or sister. A true friend will never let somebody talk ill of you in his presence. A true friend is not a gossip. A true friend has a growth-mentality. A true friend is one who motivates you to being the best that you can be. A true friend understands that if you do great, then the whole of humanity benefits. A true friend is someone who celebrates your great news like they were his. A true friend is someone who is emphatic and assists at times of great distress. A true friend is someone who listens to your boring long story and stays engaged with it. If you tell your friend something and they start making the conversation about them, switching it up, telling you about some grander thing that happened to them, then sorry, you do not have a friend. A true friend cares about what you have to say because it pertains to your well-being. A true friend would never break your frame. Besides, this is about reciprocity, one day they will do the same for you; would you appreciate it if your friend took the spotlight off you? A true friend doesn’t change because the love is organic and has compounded over the years, it serves as the permanent persona in his structure of being. A true friend treats you like how he treats himself. A true friend talks positively about you because he sees himself/herself in you and is grateful to be acquainted with you. A true friend is someone who wants you to grow because selfishly, it will make him/her better. A true friend will always be on your side and advise you of your shortcomings. A true friend makes the initiative. A true friend loves being in your company. A true friend makes you feel good about yourself. A true friend helps you crystalize your thoughts so they are at least clear to you. You cannot be afraid of telling your friend how you feel or your good news. If your friend doesn’t know anything real about you, then they are not a friend. A true friend is a crutch, something that will help you to stand up when your legs give up on you. It is difficult to find a true friend because a true friend is somebody who loves you and to have that mutual connection is WOW; this is because life is difficult and we live in a capitalistic system that says to survive, you have to discredit and kill another. It is a system fostered on greed and monopolistic power and control. This means sooner rather than later, egos clash and the end result is a massacre. When you have a true friend, egos take the back seat because you both understand that it’s not real. Friendship is a mutual contract of love, collaboration and understanding.
Be with people who want the best for you. This shapes your reality and dictates what is projected onto the objective world. People who want the best for you want you to progress. They are a nurturing place for dreams. They help you move forward in the world. They have a herd mentality that is infectious and is dictated by the unconscious force of winning. Birds of the same feathers flock together. Understand your environment. Understand the purpose of the people in your life. This is important because this will dictate your thoughts and thoughts are life energy. Understand what you want to achieve out of life and strive to get it with the aid of like-minded individuals. Like-minded individuals are friends because you all share the same goal. The goal of winning the soccer World Cup final. Weed out people who are not conducive to the way you want to live. Weed out people who have no utility in your life. Weed out people who make you drift. Weed out the people whose words are not in line with their actions. This will keep your mind clear and you’ll be able to make better informed decisions. Fake friends camouflage themselves in a crowd of people so they can take a shot. They do this maim you, to assassinate your character, to get you to lose confidence in yourself. They do this with passive aggressive language disguised as jokes or something to take lightly, and as we know, it’s not jokes and it’s not funny. Eliminate them swiftly and clear the room as soon as possible. This will give you room to see an attack when it’s coming. It will enable you to better prepare your tactics. There is nothing worse than being killed by a cowardice accident murderer. Someone who lurks in the dark like a thief in the night. No, when you kill a king it has to be in the presence of everyone. Get rid of the toxic influences in your life. Get rid of people who project negative things onto you; “you can’t do it, not me!” We all have insecurities that is not an excuse to break someone’s frame, in order to feel good about yourself. Stay away from angry people. Stay away from unlucky people. Being around fake friends is dangerous because they can make deals that spell out your demise. You’ll never see it coming too because of their fake genuine smiles. Do you know how they are going to get to you? Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. Be prepared. Keep your circle small and concentrate your forces, you can delegate and outsource everything else. Keep your mind clean because the Universe is mental. If you do not have a true friend, it’s fine, it’s better to navigate the world alone than to have pretenders by your side, it’s better to not delude yourself, it’s better to stand alone – you will stretch farther. You will lead a more fulfilled life, you will be strengthened by your truth and the gates of reality will open up more for you. You will attract genuine things, you will be happier.
I ran into an old friend I used to attend school with. He was good, in great spirits, looked healthy but he wasn’t happy with how I looked. He said, “You are so thin, is that you? You are finished.” I replied “Yea, it is me.” I replied to his sentiment disregarding the content obviously happy to see him. We engaged in a bit of small talk until he came back to his main point “You are so thin, you are finished my brother”, we exchanged pleasantries and drifted off in different directions but his comments stayed with me. It was as if he were looking down on me, it was pity, a side of schadenfreude, he was in disbelief, I felt like a disgraced fallen soildier. A couple of days before, a friend told me I had lost weight and I agreed to his observations but I didn’t think it was that bad. You mean I put on weight just to lose it again? Plausible, I was stressed and neglecting my eating schedule. Did you hear the whispers? They say I am on drugs, nyaope. Oh no! But you don’t treat me like an addict, my skin is still glowing and your girl is still on my dick! So it must be slander, yet another dirty trick from the devil. It feels like I have tumbled to the bottom and no one respects me anymore. The latest comments got to me because it was an echo, one that was rampant because it was true and I knew it. I did lose weight. Things were not that good for me. I was broke. I was not happy. I suffered. Fighting for what I believed in and my dreams of the future has been hard. Would you believe in what you believed in even if you were the only one? It has been cold and I get no love from my immediate surroundings, just disappointments. Pangs of torment piecing through my skin on a daily signaling electrical currents to my brain to induce trauma and pain. It’s a recurring occurrence, people think they are superior to me because I am struggling to feed myself, some think they own me. It doesn’t help that I am sensitive, an empath, a magnet for narcissists. Lately it seems like they have the upper hand. They keep making proclamations like:
You are mine and I own you. I bought everything you eat and you swallow my essence. I am the reason you living a good life, I own you. Your friends loves me, your whole family, they all love me, what are you going to do, they all love me, I own you, you are mine. I own everything you see here including you, you are mine. I am the pulse that gives you life and I can make you flatline if I wanted to, I own you. Your hands behind your back, you are in bondage, to my whims, my needs and everything I desire because remember, I own you. You are mine to do what I like with. You may think you have rights but you are mine and I own you. Everything you touch, your clothes, the hair, the shoes, your happiness, all mine, I own you. Get that into your mind, you are nothing without me, I own you, I can make you suffer, I can make you cry, you are mine, I own you.
Nothing worthwhile comes easy so I thank you, I learned to rely on my own wits and less upon other people. I am better. I am stronger. I will fight ahead and when I win its going to be on my terms.
I am still here, the vision is still intact, I will bulk up weight, I am stronger and I will rule. Your victory was a fleeting experience, the War is mine. I play the long game and I always win. You are wrong. I never wavered, my eyes are still on the prize, you don’t own me. All the petty humiliations were child’s play. I shrugged off your insults like dirt on my shoulders. I forecasted all your conditions like the weather and so I was prepared. You couldn’t play me even if I were a piano. I saw your power plays and opted to stand idle. I’d rather be a spectator watching you make a fool of yourself. Give them the rope, they all hang themselves if it’s got leeway. I am a sentient being and freedom is a given. I’d rather be hungry and thin than succumb to your views about my life. I never listen to anything you say. I belong to God and I have the faith of a mustard seed. You might have the cards now, but the game goes on and the deck has to be reshuffled. An early lead doesn’t guarantee you the marathon win. I am not a title deed, I have never been yours even for a second. Your perceived superiority is all in your head. The Gaslighting won’t work, I know all the facts. You can never break me even if we were playing pool. Your worst nightmare is coming to fruition, I am everything you deemed and I don’t need you. My dreams are finally gaining traction and your perceived power waning. I am coming for everything and you will acknowledge me!
You are so great. You are so beautiful. You are the love of my life. I can’t live without you. You are my world. You are my everything. You are my rock. You are my champion. I am proud to have you as my man. You are handsome. You are the best lover I have ever had in my life. You are my first. I never want to experience life without you. You make me happy. You are a good person. I would die without you. You are once in a lifetime. I am nothing without you. You bring me peace. You have great charisma. You are my home. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You changed my life. You are so intelligent. I am grateful to have you in my life. I appreciate you. I worship you. You are charming. I love you so much. Being in your presence is an honor. No one is like you. You are the best. You are special. You are the greatest of all time. You have a great sense of humor. You are the sexiest woman alive. You have a banging body. Have you been working out? I love your abs and defined biceps. You are perfection personified. You deserve your wealth. Any woman is lucky to have you. You have a great ass. I love your fashion sense. You have a pleasing personality. You are successful. You have a great smile. You are the smartest person I know. You are my best friend. You have a pure heart. You saved me. You are full of passion. You are the perfect gentleman. You are the hardest working person in the room. You are a classy lady. You are kind and considerate. You bring joy to my life. You have a great entrepreneurial drive. You go all night. You make me orgasm. You are a sex God!
Steve Jobs once said “the customer doesn’t know what he wants until you show it to him”. His point was that you must create a need and simultaneously fill it. The sentiment that no one really knows anything has been around for millennia. Nassim Taleb explores thoroughly this on his book “The black swan”, which I highly recommend. The book explores unpredictability, once off events and biases. The internet for example is a black swan event because no one could have predicted it prior to the 20th century. The Covid pandemic is another black swan event, nothing like this has ever happened before, it literally stopped life! We didn’t know what to do or how to react. If you had asked people in Henry Fords time what they wanted, they would have replied a faster horse. How about a horse that won’t die if you don’t feed it or leave it out in the cold? This is the genius of the automobile. To know what people want is to know what you want. I want a great product or service that will serve my needs. I want great customer service. I want ease of use and I want convenience. I want service, care and respect. If you can fill those needs, I am a customer. A big innovation might make your offering popular but what I listed are the fundamentals. If you can do the fundamentals really well, you can attract a lot of customers. This doesn’t require market research. Of course, I am governed by biaes and they dictate my life but human nature still rules. If you can understand people’s motivations, that is, people are narcissists and think the world revolves around them, you will do well in business. Cater to the narcissist in the best way possible, this is a psychological urge everyone yearns for – “Just make me feel special, that’s all I want. Make me feel good!”, that is what people want.
antakalipa 