Memento Mori

Memento Mori II

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Memento Mori II

Remember that you are going to die. It’s inescapable, everyday you are nearing the end. The good time, the bitches, the alcohol it’s all temporary. What isn’t temporary is your legacy, what have you done for the next generation? Your kids, did you do all that you can to ensure they have a better life? Are you proud of the life you have led? Is life better because you existed? Forget about friends, they don’t have your best interests at heart. They will leave you, it’s all a matter of time. To tell you the truth, they don’t care all that much about you, they are living their own lives and running their own race. What have you done for yourself? You came into this world alone and you are going to exit alone, consider that. No one really cares about you. You have to do that for yourself, maintain your composure, take one step at a time and head for your dreams, accomplish your goals, believe in the magic that’s you and never give up. What people say or think about you doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is your opinion about yourself. Have good thoughts about yourself, don’t say things that make you weak, empower yourself, have pride, be confident. Wake up, wake up, wake up! Fight for freedom, for truth and keep going because winners don’t quit on themselves. You can accomplish it, your wildest dreams, stay concentrated, keep moving and have patience. Make the right choices, adopt the right habits, habits are destiny. Remember that you are going to die, life is impermanence, elevate your perspective to have a broader view of life, refrain from acting in the moment, consider the cosmic events of things – everything is cause and effect, show love and it will come back to you. Do things today that will serve you tomorrow. Embrace positivity and you will lead a positive life. Stick with things that enable you to grow, be with the people who want the best for you and let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. Every step, moment, counts, stand for something, be brave, walk alone, risk ridicule, never be afraid of being who you truly are. Everything dissipates, the stars lose their shine, day becomes night and the youth lose their enthusiasm. In the end we all perish, we become dust and our memory is forgotten. You are going to die, it’s a certainty, heaven can’t save you and God approves of it. Enjoy today, be in the moment, be like a child, see the wonder in everything, do everything that you can, today might be your last day on earth. Remember you are going to die, stop postponing what you can do now, today. Have urgency, move with purpose, time is not on your side, everyday you are close to death. Relegate fear to the side, it’s not life-affirming, it won’t save you, it’s useless. Instead be fearless, live like today might be your last day because it might. Do everything that you have ever wanted because life is brief. There is no tomorrow only the the eternal now. Memento Mori my friend, stop wasting time, everything that you need is already within, the outside world can’t offer you anything. Stand grounded, keep your head down, keep moving, be humble, be grateful for the magnificence of life, love and you will attract beautiful things in your map of experience. Memento Mori my friend, remember that you are going to die, do all that you can with the time that you have.

Retshi

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Retshi

I want an amazing life, no compromises because when Retshi died I promised things to myself and my life. Yea, I know what they say about promises and how keeping them is difficult but this was more of a vision of my life. It was subjective and heartfelt; I promised to be the best I could for him. I am more afraid of not living than dying, to be a carbon copy of everyone else and not understand what constitutes my essence, to be a slave of my impulses and not being able to regulate my emotions, to stand idle while my dreams disappear in the distance, to lose myself, to get swayed by novelty and not have an anchor that grounds me – that scares me, dying is easy and quicker. He lived a short life, he deserved more, his passing was tragic, he was a junior and he beamed with excitement at the prospect of being a senior, life had other plans and his life disappeared like an illusion, like mirrors, like it never happened. One moment he was there and the next he was gone like evaporation. Such is life, it’s all this big theatricality that disappears right before your eyes and metastasizes as something else if reincarnation is the correct hypothesis. The pictures he left behind became myths and his whole life mythological but at least he left a legend. Do his past friends and family members still remember him? Who cares? It’s like the past swallowed him into oblivion and irrelevance but I remember, I can’t quite forget about him like the feeling of nostalgia, he takes me back to simpler times. His death was honorable and respectful, he was loved, he metastasized into a hero, a noble soul and an inspiration to all, like Batman he became a symbol that transcended everyday living. You need to be deadman to be a hero and the successor to your deed needs to be alive, if both of you are still living then that’s just normal everyday living but you do have heroic characteristics. If everyone is dead, it becomes a massacre or to avoid hyperbole a draw. He fits the description of what it is to be a hero.

One nightmarish day, he jumped into the river in attempts to rescue a boy who was swallowed in the deep end, drowning, gasping for air with water flooding his body and his senses failing him. The little boy was doomed with no saviors to watch you from the bay, no Pamela Anderson with her volaptious titties to save the day, it was a swim in the river the little boy would dread. He must have saw the white light and angels singing choruses. Out of nowhere, like he was Godsent, Retshi jumped in and saved a drowning soul on the steps of heaven from perishing but he drowned and died instead. The biggest sacrifice one can make. “Damn! Just like that? He lives, and he dies? That’s not fair!” I realize my protests are futile, I just wish he didn’t jump in because then we’d still have him. I know my reasoning is selfish, spiteful, arrogant and doesn’t take into consideration the person he was even at a young age, but morality is suspended from my reasoning and discourse, I am not perfect, I am flawed, unworthy, a sinner and maybe I hate him for being the reason that my friend is gone. Yes of course, I know, Retshi is going to save some drowning kid his never met before because he was considered a good swimmer, he was tall, had a good heart and empathy of the highest order. There’s solace in that his death was ordained by the God’s, he did what came naturally to him, he didn’t have to think twice and today someone reaps the fruits of that decision. There’s also the fact that he loved swimming and so he was killed with his own dagger, the irony, poetic justice. I can’t blame him or be rueful of the past because I too appreciated the qualities he had as a human being. He had a pure soul, he loved to help, was empathic, a good listener, calm and just chilled – he was my best friend. Although I wish he hadn’t acted, I understand and I respect him even more.

When he died, I cried and mourned his life. Before his death, we had a fight and didn’t talk to each other for a week and now he was gone. It was a stupid fight that holds no weight but pride prevented us from squashing the beef and now that fight is the last memory I have of him. Just like that my friend of many years, who lived on the same street died, it was serious, it was fatal and nobody could ressurect him. It was over and I was never going to see him again, it crushed my spirit and heaven couldn’t provide consolations. When he died, I wanted to achieve great things for him, to let the world know that he was still here operating in the spirit with us. I asked his spirit to be with me, to inhabit me, that we would share this meaty body in the three dimensional world. He has always been with me and motivated my decisions for the future. Having and knowing him changed my life, he made a mark and I am constantly haunted by my mortality, I am aware that things might switch up at any moment, that I mustn’t take life for granted, that everyday is a blessing and an opportunity to live out your best life. I am still fighting for an amazing life not just for me but for my friend who never got his chance. An amazing life for me is one with excess capital to create, make my dreams come true, to love and help as many people as I can. I want to make a contribution that is everlasting for humanity, but maybe none of that matters, the universe is in a constant flux and everything perishes. The ego is an illusion, no one will remember me, no one really cares and nothing matters in any case.

This is dedicated to my friend who died saving someone else, thank you for the lessons, memories and absolutely everything, as long as I am alive, you are alive – forever alive in our memories.

RETSHI – he had Respect, Empathy, stood Tall, was Special, was Hercules amongst us, let him always be our Inspiration.

Memento Mori II

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Memento Mori II

Remember that you are going to die. It’s inescapable, everyday you are nearing the end. The good time, the bitches, the alcohol it’s all temporary. What isn’t temporary is your legacy, what have you done for the next generation? Your kids, did you do all that you can to ensure they have a better life? Are you proud of the life you have led? Is life better because you existed? Forget about friends, they don’t have your best interests at heart. They will leave you, it’s all a matter of time. To tell you the truth, they don’t care all that much about you, they are living their own lives and running their own race. What have you done for yourself? You came into this world alone and you are going to exit alone, consider that. No one really cares about you. You have to do that for yourself, maintain your composure, take one step at a time and head for your dreams, accomplish your goals, believe in the magic that’s you and never give up. What people say or think about you doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is your opinion about yourself. Have good thoughts about yourself, don’t say things that make you weak, empower yourself, have pride, be confident. Wake up, wake up, wake up! Fight for freedom, for truth and keep going because winners don’t quit on themselves. You can accomplish it, your wildest dreams, stay concentrated, keep moving and have patience. Make the right choices, adopt the right habits, habits are destiny. Remember that you are going to die, life is impermanence, elevate your perspective to have a broader view of life, refrain from acting in the moment, consider the cosmic events of things – everything is cause and effect, show love and it will come back to you. Do things today that will serve you tomorrow. Embrace positivity and you will lead a positive life. Stick with things that enable you to grow, be with the people who want the best for you and let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. Every step, moment, counts, stand for something, be brave, walk alone, risk ridicule, never be afraid of being who you truly are. Everything dissipates, the stars lose their shine, day becomes night and the youth lose their enthusiasm. In the end we all perish, we become dust and our memory is forgotten. You are going to die, it’s a certainty, heaven can’t save you and God approves of it. Enjoy today, be in the moment, be like a child, see the wonder in everything, do everything that you can, today might be your last day on earth. Remember you are going to die, stop postponing what you can do now, today. Have urgency, move with purpose, time is not on your side, everyday you are close to death. Relegate fear to the side, it’s not life-affirming, it won’t save you, it’s useless. Instead be fearless, live like today might be your last day because it might. Do everything that you have ever wanted because life is brief. There is no tomorrow only the the eternal now. Memento Mori my friend, stop wasting time, everything that you need is already within, the outside world can’t offer you anything. Stand grounded, keep your head down, keep moving, be humble, be grateful for the magnificence of life, love and you will attract beautiful things in your map of experience. Memento Mori my friend, remember that you are going to die, do all that you can with the time that you have.

Lost ones

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Lost ones

I have simulated losing everything in my mind. This is a stoic exercise that helps me conquer fear. Because if I am comfortable losing everything then I am free. Free to self-realize. Free to be what destiny intended. Free to be great. Life is broader than material things. Life is emotions, perceptions and sensations. Life is awareness. Life is presence. Life is precious. Life is a miracle. Life is a beautiful process that keeps on getting better. Life is evolution and progression. Life is freedom. Life is creation. Life is love. I realized a while back that earth was heaven. Heaven is not some utopia that you get to. Heaven is already within. Heaven is what you create and God gave us complete control of our minds to create. Expression is creation and mind is expression. This is it. It doesn’t get better than earth. It doesn’t get any better than this, this moment. It doesn’t get any better than what is within. You have the responsibility to create your own heaven, heaven is a state of mind. My heaven is one where I am a Billionaire. Being a Billionaire for me represents infinite creation. A chance to implement my dreams and to color in the world. It is a chance to help. I’ve got a big heart and at my core I am love and I want to give life to that expression. I’ve never really cared much for materials, I prefer creating experiences, they last longer. Still I’ve always loved money. Money is power. Money buys a priceless commodity, time. But it is also external, which makes it dangerous because it is out of your control. Because it is external, it can make you suffer because of the imprints you attach to it. Money can repossess your soul. The love and worship of money can make your heart leak like bullet holes. That’s if you identify with money. I just see it as a tool and I don’t want life to elude me because of a lack of it. That’s not what God intended for me, I live in complete abundance, everything I want is mine. So money can’t be a hindrance. From a very ripe age, my visions of the future would be of me working towards that ideal of attaining riches. I suspended everything for this vision and narrowed my focus and it created a fear that I’d be alone. It’s a fear that has manifested itself onto the world. I finally got a girl whose perfect in every sense. A girl who loved me before everything. She loves me and I love you. She is someone who can make me better, Lord knows I am flawed, messy and Imperfect. We can be better together. I need her. I don’t want to lose her. She takes care of me. Where else am I going to find this in this cold world where nobody really cares about me? Who has more value than her? I don’t know. Because of my flawed ambitions pertaining to money, I have to look ahead. Meanwhile time waits for no man. Paulo Coelho taught me that a woman can’t keep a man from achieving his personal legends and it makes sense for me. I am just ambitious that’s all there is to everything. Now that I am alone and have lost my best thing, now that the worst has already happened to me, I can labor on like a prisoner serving life in a concentration camp, with hope that everything will be better someday; Lost ones.

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Memento Mori

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Memento Mori

Remember you are going to die. It’s inescapable. 500 Billion people died before you and you are next. We can make claims about the afterlife, heaven, reincarnation and 7 virgins but we don’t have proof. It’s all speculations like a day-trader. None of the people who died ever came back, including Jesus. We do know one thing though, that when you dead you stop existing, you become nothing. So how did you die? Did you live out your dreams or did you let the world change you and became bitter in the process? Who do you blame for your failures and own insufficiencies? Did you make the best out of the time you were given? Were you present and grateful in every moment? Were you aware of the magnificence of life? Were you loved? Would someone hide you if you were in trouble? Were you a blessing in somebody’s life? Did you leave your mark? Is the world slightly better because you existed? Did you treat people well? Were people and even animals happy to see you? Did you love enough? Memento Mori my friend, you are going to die. Be present and do all that you can while you can smell the flowers.

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Reposition

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Reposition

The Universe has been telling me to change my ways but I’ve been too steady and complacent. It’s my fault, I deserve the robbery. It was a typical Friday and I had on my SpongeBob shirt, my awesome silver Cassio watch, my neck beeds and my classic “Champion” jacket. In my pocket I had my keys and my Mint cellphone. It was a signature great day. I went to my friend’s which is a 18-24 minutes walk and we had a great time. At around 1 o’clock in the morning, I decided that I want to go home, I was tired. So I walked back home. I know it’s irresponsible to walk home so late especially in Alex, Gomora but I’ve been doing this for years. Plus I don’t think I would be robbed, hurt or killed. You see the most important thing is the walk, it is your posture, your steps, you have to project a confident aura and no one will fuck with you. Your shoulders must be broad and open, make that alpha walk an inherent part of you. Look like you might do shit! That’s what I learned and it has served me well thus far. Plus, I have Inside knowledge, I chill with niggas who rob and steal at the corners. The insight I’ve gained is that niggas are hungry, I can relate, they don’t want trouble, in fact they are good guys, they don’t want to hurt anybody, they just want your possessions so they can flip them. It’s that simple, they are professionals conducting a transaction, I can appreciate that, I understand. It is Darwins survival of the fittest, they don’t have much options, go for the weakest prey. I made myself a target. No one is born with hate in their hearts, the truth is that we all need to do what we can to make it through. This is true for everyone in the world and so everybody can relate. Besides if you are dumb enough to walk alone in the AMs of the morning, you probably deserve it. You are passive and comfortable. You think life is a given, the Universe needs to shake you up. That’s what happened to me.

For the record, I don’t think I’m passive and comfortable, I just feel that there’s nothing that I can’t do. I live life with no fear. I feel that there’s nothing I can’t handle and I do what I want. Besides niggas bleed just like you so I am not scared of anybody. If you are going to win, win because you have a better hand. They had a better hand. I was walking alone in the dark, the place was quiet as a graveyard. If you had dropped a pin the sound would be audible. My strides were long and fast paced. Then out of nowhere 3 guys appeared in front on me. One guy approached me and cocked his gun. The sound was cold and metallic. “cling-cling”. It was death appearing like a bad dream and I was lucid. I stopped but I was unfazed. I was trapped. I was under their control. I was calm, everything was just surreal. I knew what they wanted. I understood their mentality. I decided to cooperate and give them what they wanted, it wasn’t like I had a choice. The guy with the gun was like: “we got you now, you didn’t think this day was coming didn’t you, welcome to hell” but in vernacular. Another guy came up to me and started searching me to the third guys demands. I was still cool, undeterred, not bothered, I accepted the situation for what it was. To be honest, I knew that this day had to come sometime. I was relaxed, they got nothing of me in terms of emotions, I was blank as a canvas. They instructed me to keep walking forward while they searched me and so I did for a while. They took my phone, my keys and my watch and so I stopped walking. As if to signal, enough guys you have everything, now can I go back to my life? I was still in control, they can’t deny me of my will. As I stopped, they stopped, that’s when I realized my power and saw weakness on theirs. They were accident murderers, you know, shook one’s. I didn’t challenge them because they might hurt me to prove their dominance but I was superior. Niggas is reckless when they have power in their hands. One bad move or misplaced comment and ‘Bang Bang’. So relax. My control of the situation was subtle. Being passive and listening to their demands gave them the illusion of power. When I asserted myself, they didn’t know what to do because I had cooperated at first, plus they already had my phone, watch and keys so it wasn’t worth it. As I stopped walking and listening to their demands, they guy dictating the robbery said, “take that Champion jacket too.” I was shattered. They took it off me and all that mental superiority evaporated like steam. I felt helpless as a new born baby. After they took my jacket, I just left because I still had my pride. I didn’t let them dismiss me, I didn’t give them that power, they never had that power. All they had was a tool that helped facilitate the reposition process more effectively, that’s it. It was a professional encounter, they took my valuables, no one was hurt, the process was smooth and everybody was happy. I was happy too because I got to test myself in a high pressure situation and it didn’t get to me. It was like I was above the whole situation like Jesus when he walked on water. It was a stress test and I passed with flying colors. I was patient with them. I read the situation, their body language, their mannerisms and followed the cues. I learned that emotional intelligence is everything because we are all emotional creatures. Moreover for them because their lives are dictated by the amygdala, fear and survival makes up their reality. I learned that love triumphs fear. Have humility. Be soft, yield, be like water and move with the waves, anything other than that is counterproductive. Be present to people’s emotions and mannerisms so you can at least have a chance to guide the ship. I don’t blame them because they are my brothers and I love them, I understand. Life is difficult and on that day I was the sucker who made their excursion worth it. Overall it was a successful robbery like the last scene of “Pulp Fiction” and I am Samuel L. Jackson.

It helps being minimalist because the things they took are not worth much in terms of monetary value but sentimentally they meant everything to me. I transferred a lot of emotions to my watch, jacket and cellphone. Kalushi gave me that Cassio watch with a lot of love. It represents friendship and our pure entrepreneurial drive when we started our farm with big plans and dreams in mind. He is a good friend and I feel they took his spirit away from me. My cellphone was 6 years old, KG, a legend, one of the best people I know recommended that I buy that cellphone back in 2015. It was such a deal! A steal really. It cost R100 and it had Bluetooth, radio, internet, mp3 and had a 4gb memory card. Back then a 4gb memory card alone cost R80! But for R100 I got a phone with all those features and a memory card. It makes sense that Kg was the one who spotted that deal because his a legend and that deal was so legendary. It feels like they took the wisdom of Kg away from me. And my “Champion” jacket was bought in the 1990’s in London. It belonged to my father. It was vintage and so cool, I loved it, it was my favorite jacket, it somehow toppled my leather jacket. They took a gift that was hereditary, something with value and substance. I am gutted but that’s life for you and as you grow up things get taken away from you. This forsters growth and the opportunity to evolve because change is the only permanent thing. I am grateful for the experience, I know it’s all God’s plan. This is to make me better. I am happy it happened because now I get to reflect and concoct a way forward. There’s a beauty in seeing life as a blessing, a gift.

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Role of the arts

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Role of the arts

I have a picture of Van Goahs artwork as my wallpaper. It is a picture of a skull on the table. I have it as a wallpaper to remind me of my imminent death. It gives me solace and helps me put things into proper perspectives. It reminds me to not be passive, it reminds me that my time is limited and that I must do everything I can to be the man I want to become. It keeps me grounded and reminds me to not take life for granted, to be grateful for everything that I have and get better where I can. It helps me treat people well, to be compassionate and understanding because we all share this common ground. We are all born into a world we don’t understand and we don’t know the rules, we all doing our best with what we were given. No one knows anything real about this world, the Billionaires don’t know, the scientists don’t know, the philosophers don’t know, everyone is just speculating and it’s scary.

Looking at this picture everyday gives me hope because I know I can be anything I set my mind to. There’s hope, provided I work to develop myself constantly. That’s the role of the arts, to inspire, to motivate and to give you solace and peace. Art can capture the moment in a way reality can’t because it’s always fleeting, reality is an illusion, it vanishes right before your eyes can catch it, while art is permanent, forever. Art has memories, it has sadness, happiness, laughter, excitement, horror, wonder and hope. Art is how we make sense of the world, art is everything – literally. We need music, paintings, poetry and drama as a means to imitate life so we can make sense of it. Art represents expression and creation. Art teaches how to see, it is culture, perception and reality.

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