Manchester United | antakalipa

Stumza – Fifa King.

The gents were having a Fifa tournament, Lloyd was hosting and in attendance was Thulani, X and Stumza. I was excited, it had been a while since I had played. Everyone in attendance was a good player. I was shocked when Thulani scored a penalty when he played X, I still don’t know how to score a penalty. In fact, you will never concede a set-piece goal against me. On this day we decided to create a tournament set in England. I picked Manchester United, Stumza selected City, X picked Liverpool, Lloyd picked Spurs and Thulani picked Arsenal.

One thing to know about me is that I win at everything, no seriously, I am the best in everything I engage in. If you beat me at anything, well done, you showed excellence, you deserve it, you are the best, no excuses and I will acknowledge that. True to my professional prescription, I beat everyone. Well, almost everyone. Stumza was the dent in my almost perfect record. The gents couldn’t handle Bruno Fernandes, he scored and assisted in every game. My game against Stumza was a hot game, Manchester derby. I scored first and he equalized before half-time. Then at the start of the second half, I regained my lead only for him to equalize and then I don’t know what happened. He scored 2 more goals out of nowhere! There was nothing I could do about the goals, I didn’t make a mistake, he just simply scored. The thing about Stumza is that a shot is a goal. He scores because he wants to, just because he can. The goalkeeper won’t save it because he can’t. All of Stumza’s goals are pure strikes – top corner. He will never score a scrappy goal like a rebound or tap-in. He just scores and there’s nothing you can do about it. After he scored the 4th goal, I realized what I was up against and I changed my strategy. Not that I quit but winning this game was a long shot. I decided to rest Paul Pogba and give Mctominay gametime. It was a defensive approach, the game plan was now don’t concede a 5th goal. Fred was still fresh and he worked exceptionally well with Mctominay at keeping Stumza at bay. I also had a couple of chances but they weren’t clear cut. With the 90 minutes over, the referee added 3 minutes of stoppage time. Stumza scored the 5th goal on 3:23, once again there was nothing I could do about the goal. I wasn’t disheartened or disappointed, I merely congratulated him and told him to his face that his the best. It wasn’t as if the level was “semi-pro”, it was “ultimate” but he scores like it’s “semi-pro”, it’s bullshit really just bullshit. The 5-2 Manchester derby defeat wasn’t a fluke. In a completely different tournament he beat me 5-2 again. This time we had a country tournament. I picked Portugal, I had Bruno Fernandes and Ronaldo. The gents picked Ivory Coast for Stumza because we wanted to weaken him. It didn’t work. Thank God Neo came in and void the tournament. He picked a team and disappeared while the tournament was in progress. We used “quick sim” and Stumza lost. Technically, Neo is the only person who beat Stumza that day.

Still I had a good tournament. Bruno Fernandes was the top assist guy and among the goals. De Gea was the goalkeeper with the most clean sheets and I had 6 players in the team of the tournament! Sure, I was second on the log to Stumza but I was first everywhere else. I won with Stumza!

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Beef with Chelsea

Chelsea will always be the club that I dispise. From my roots in England, Manchester United, you have always given me a tough time. Thank God for Cristiano Ronaldo, he is our “Magnifico” like Bruno Fernandes. He won us UEFA with his towering header. Sure Lampard equalized and sent the game to extra-time but we landed the first blow. It showed intent. Sir Alex Ferguson our leader. He gave us great moments, season after season, we won the trophies. Our worst seasons were always the seasons we finished 2nd, worse case scenario 3rd, so okay, that’s fine, we’ll go at it again the next season. That’s the lose I want in my life, Fergusons’ lose.

My story doesn’t only come from Manchester, my Chelsea story has its roots in Barcelona. From the Champions league 2009 semi-final in Samford Bridge, thank God for Iniesta, he won us the whole tournament. The semi-final was hard but we just needed 1 goal because the game ended scoreless at the Camp Nou. We got it in the 94th minute, with virtually the last kick of the game, I will never forget that day. Iniesta saved my life. Assist from Messi, who else? We won all 6 trophies, well done to Pep Guardiola for achieving that impossible feat. Puyol as our leader, the last pure defender. I will never forgive Chelsea for what happened in 2012 though. Such negative tactics at the Camp Nou. If we had scored that penalty, we would have been free. How can you miss that penalty Messi? But okay, it wasn’t our day. The last memory I have of that game is Fernando Torres rounding off Victor Valdes. It breaks my heart, I wish I could change it. We deserved so much better. We were by far better than Chelsea. We had the best chances but somehow they won. I knew Chelsea would win the Champions league that year even against the Germans in their stadium, the Allianz Areana. I mean Arjen Robben got his penalty saved by Peter Ceche. A whole great Arjen Robben, before that in the semi-finals Messi missed. This was Chelsea’s competition to lose and they didnt. I will always hate Chelsea for winning that tournament that year because they deployed negative tactics. They parked the bus and we couldn’t get through. We tried everything. We had Cristian Tello, Isaac Cuenca, Messi, Xavi, Iniesta and Cesc Fabregas and we couldn’t get that illusive third goal, we almost did, but we couldn’t. The Germans also didn’t have an answer for Chelsea’s negative bus parking tactics and worse they played that final in their own Stadium. Chelsea not only frustrated the Bayern Munich team, they frustrated the fans in the stadium and everyone watching around the world. Pep Guardiola announced that he was leaving Barcelona that week after the defeat. It was the worst week of my life and I credit Chelsea Football Club.

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