The Gulag Archiepelago IV: Fatigued

The Gulag Archiepelago IV: Fatigued

I am tired, tired of complaining about the daily injustices of the Archiepelago, tired of not having a voice, they stripped us off our names and gave us numbers so we ceased to exist as human beings but as livestock. The message is simple; “You are now the property of the State, we own You”. I am tired of working for 9 straight hours. You can’t even finish your task quickly with the intent of rest because if you do, you’ll be given more work and if you refuse punishment awaits, work loves fools, a zealous horse doesn’t live long. I am tired of the insults and negative energy that suppresses confidence like a compressor, if you call a man a “pig” for 7 years, he’ll end up grunting. I am tired of not seeing my family. I forgot what they look like and my memory is failing, I don’t have pictures and I didn’t get the chance to tell them how much I love them. That’ll haunt me until my last breath. I am tired of living this comedy of an existence that lacks a punchline. Maybe I am the punchline, it would certainly explain the multiple bruises throughout my body and my soul crushed like garlic, maybe the joke is on me. Why would God play such a demented joke on me? Doesn’t he love me? Is it a test? Can’t he hear my sobs of pain and great distress? Maybe he just doesn’t care. Just the other day a woman was sentenced to 25 years for allegedly praying for the death of Stalin because not even our thoughts and prayers are our own. I am tired of not owning my will. God government does what he wants with my life. We got second sentences, we were just informed to sign, no trial, just an additional 10 years and if you didn’t sign they put you in punishment centers were they would torture you until you gave in like penetration, in other words, you screwed up either ways. I am tired of the humiliations and mistreatments, they put me in a cold cell below 0 in just my underwear, they spit on my face, how am I going to cope with another 10 years? Whom did hard labor ever correct? I am tired of the numbing cold, there’s 12 months of winter and the rest is summer. They give us 2 letters a year and most don’t reach their destination because they are simply burned – the Post Office can just be blamed. I am tired of the kids in this place with flawed morality. They steal, rob, rape and kill. Being a great thief is their only ambition because “to live a straight life at the Archiepelago is stupid”. Stealing and a life of crime is better in a world of hell because at least you benefit. The  kids only respect the thiefs and disrespect everyone else; the thiefs are their role models and so the cycle perpetuates. I am tired of the Police dogs being better fed than humans. I am tired of suffering. I am tired of life and death in it’s negative polarity because who say’s its better?

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The Gulag Archiepelago III: Labor camps

The Gulag Archiepelago III: Labor camps

August 1918, the term “concentration camp” was coined for the first time by the Soviets to refer to their own people who were imprisoned in their camps.

Before we go any further, I want you to register the words and internalize them. You are worthless, your life is meaningless, no one cares about you, your self-importance is an illusion, you are a cochroch, you have no rights, unfit to be treated like a dog, you are useless, you are a stupid shit head, you are insignificant and no one would care about you if you dropped dead right now.

That was the reality for people in labor camps in the Archiepelago. The labor camps were made for destruction, to break the human spirit and the human body. It was meant to cripple and decapitate any prospects you had for the future. You were meant to break down and crack, to be irrevocably shattered like a broken mirror. It meant to shatter your reflection, reducing you to a state of helplessness. Prisoners worked on digging canals until their backs snapped like a twig. Some prisoners worked for 14 hours straight in the icy-hell. There was no way to escape too, how can you when you were surrounded by water. Those who did the impossible task of escaping drowned instead. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t. The working hours in most prisons were 8 hours non-stop everyday. No break, no lunch. If you stopped for some reason you were punished. As a punishment prisoners where dragged on horses by their legs until they stopped making a sound. They were stripped off their clothes and their hands were tied on a pole and a net of mosquitoes was released for them to feast on. They were beaten with clubs and torn a part by dogs like a Tarantino film. Sometimes prisoners were left outside in the snow to freeze to death. While other prisoners were burned to death. There were not enough clothes and some prisoners were forced to work naked in temperatures below 0, – 36F and – 70F. There were diseases and epidemics spreading in camps and because the interrogaters didn’t know how to treat pupils who contracted these sicknesses, they were simply isolated in cells and they lived there until they died. A lot of prisoners died of hunger. Others rot to death. They witnessed their bodies fail and decay, they witnessed their skins peeling of like a potato, they witnessed their teeth falling down on the ground. Hunger, a process that breaks down your cognitive abilities. A process that makes every other thing irrelevant. When you are hungry, you think of nothing else but the hunger. Nothing exists besides that hunger. You even dream about it. Hunger breaks you down slowly. It makes you weak, devours your muscles, decimates your immune system, kills off your will to live before you die and then kills you. Hunger was so dire in the Archiepelago that prisoners ate a corspe of a horse that was dead for 2 days, it smelled and had maggots. Prisoners made themselves invalids to get better jobs or to be released early for health purposes. At first some succeeded and got pardoned. They broke their legs. They damaged their lungs by smoking tea bags. They swallowed aluminum spoons so they can be sent to hospitals to have the stomachs open. They did everything imaginable to inflict pain on themselves and cause irrevocable damage to their health. Soon, the jailers caught on to the trend and extended the sentences of those who committed such acts, a lot were just shot.

For women, prostitution was a means of surviving. It was a curse being beautiful as you were always propositioned by a crowd of men. It was better to choose a handful who could protect you. Gang rapes were prominent and vaginal diseases were the norm. In one prison, nearly 50% of the prisoners had them. Women ceased to be feminine. Hostility and violence was the only way to survive. On a positive note, in 1948, the prisons were split up for women and men and the prisons were surrounded by barbedwire. This made things better. Ordinarily “better” was not in the Archiepelago’s vocabulary. 30-50 prisoners were shot daily behind their ears or head. The NKVD (the jailers) would decide that prisoners needed to be reduced to accommodate new recruits and old prisoners were just shot. It was 2 people per casket, that’s if you were lucky to get buried. Other bodies were left outside until the bodies decomposed. In some prisons, it was 1 casket for 6 bodies and people were buried naked in order to not waste underwear. Cannibalism was prevalent, people were cut into meat, they were cooked and they were eaten. Committing suicide was not easy too, one lady tried committing suicide 3 times. She tried to hang herself, the rope was cut, she slit her wrists, the blood was stopped, she tried jumping off a ledge but the prisoner caught her dress. She was saved 3 times only to be shot behind her head. If you wanted to poison yourself, then go on with it, you making the jailers jobs easier and bullets will be spared.

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Resilience

Resilience

When I think of the word resilience, Nelson Mandela and his freedom fighters come to mind. They fought so hard against the “impossible” and they won. They achieved this feat because they cared more. It wasn’t easy too, 27 years in prison is an eternity. That is more than 10 000 days in prison – mastery!

Consider Nelson Mandela’s life for a moment. He and the other freedom fighters were banished to an Island were they would serve life for treason. They worked in labor camps all day every day, turning big rocks to small rocks. They were harassed, disrespected, abused and made to feel inferior throughout. They were treated like animals and not shown any humanity. The food was cold, rationed and not fit for a dog. The cells were cold and solitary confinement was a part of life because they were so vocal about their rights. Life carried on without them, family members died and they couldn’t attend funerals. They spent the best years of their lives, their youth, confined in a cell like animals. They couldn’t even communicate with the outside world because the letters were heavily censored. No newspapers to inform them of current events of the country and the world, all they knew were the four corners of Robben Island. There’s also the case that all of this could have been in vain. What if the people they were fighting for forgot. What If the unjust oppressive system of Apartheid won in suppressing peoples spirits and oppression was the norm? What if there was nothing that could be done?

Nelson Mandela and the other freedom fighters, endured a lot of suffering. They lost so much. It’s so easy to be hateful and angry but he Nelson Mandela preached peace and making the country a better place to live in when he was released. The future was all that mattered and creating one with equal opportunity and no oppressive legislature for people of color was paramount. He was driven by a new vision for South Africa, it defined him. He gave everything to his people. What a leader, what a great man. Nelson Mandela embodies what it is to be resilient. The action of getting up and fighting, even after a thorough beat down. He stands for doing what’s right and never giving up until the very end. He stands for victory under the most difficult circumstances. He is integrity, resolve, determination, resilience and greatness.

Thank you for everything Tata, this is dedicated to the freedom fighters who gave up their lives and freedom so I can be free. 

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