Late last year I met a girl that I used to know in my teenage years at a social event. Growing up we had a thing. We shared a mutual attraction towards one another. We hadn’t seen each other for a while. She was hot. The term “beautiful” refers to facial features. For society beauty is symmetrical features in the right proportion. For example, your eyes need to be at the right place and must have the right size. This goes for your mouth, ears and forehead too. If any of these things are disproportionate or asymmetrical, you run the risk of being “ugly” in the eyes of the world. Skin color, or scars or birth marks don’t really matter. Symmetrical features at the right proportion is all that beauty is. The term “hot” talks about attributes from the neck down. Like a great ass and boobs. Also a good physiue. Hot is just contemporary jargon for “fuckable”. Now, this girl was beautiful and hot. She had everything, she was everything. She has a ass that is just out of this world. It’s not fake ass too, it’s natural, God given; has the right ass to thigh ratio. Oh, you just have to believe me, it’s the greatest ass in the world! This girl is hot like Mercury, the first planet from the sun. She’s easily in my top 5. Now at this social event, I saw here and I didn’t immediately acknowledge her, I took my time, ignored her, I was aloof. She was at her best in terms of apperel and make-up. Every guy in the room wanted her. You could taste the thirst. I had to be intelligent, indirection was my best shot. I moved a couple of chess pieces and later on, I had won. She was talking to me, her focus was on me. I had the envy of guys in that social gathering. Some guys never stopped trying, a trait I admired. I would give the gents space so they tried out their magic but she recoiled and jump straight at me. It was unbelievable! I always approach my day with the assumption that I am going to win. But not like this. Today’s win was like Liverpool winning the league. She wanted to go home with me but I had to cool things down a bit. I told her “Let’s enjoy this moment, let’s enjoy today. Tomorrow is another day.” She agreed and the rest of the night was filled with kisses and caresses. She was so into me, it was like she had taken love heroine and to be fair I was too. However, there was only one problem, I was broke. I couldn’t let her see that. And so at the end of the night I took her number and never called her again. It was better that way. Today after months, I saw her and immediately thought about the skits on Kanye Wests “Late Registration”. “We, broke, broke, broke, broke, flat broke.” I thought about that skit before “Drive Slow” and it said something like we will leave the girl to go with the guy who has a car, because we can’t afford gas, hoes or anything for that matter. Ah Kanye, you captured something so real in those skits, that album. You have always been in my life Kanye, thank you. Yes, I will cry myself to sleep today but I believe I made the right decision. The most important thing is that I keep growing. Kanye West also suffered the pain of not getting hoes in his 20’s and today his a Billionaire, I am in great company. Sure, I am consoling myself but the decision to not be in contact with her was a conscious one. I will get my chance, I know it. The world is mine for the taking, what is needed is just time and patience. Time will prove me right.
On the epic song by Jay-Z and Kanye West “No Church in the world”, Kanye West points out that love is ruined by monogamy. This is an interesting sentiment, one that disputes the validity of a marriage institute. Marriage is an institution created by the church to unite people who love each other romantically. It wasn’t always like this, to get married because of emotions and feelings would be considered an obscenity in the good old days of the past. People got married for reasons that were practical economically, they joined to unite fortunes and establish a powerbase. Marriage was a legal binding entity used to preserve wealth among families. It was not a measure of one’s love and dedication. However, going forward things changed with the entrance of the romantics. They affected and changed culture in a big way. Writers and poets started making an art form of this phenomena known as love. It was contagious and spread all over the world. De Beers located a diamond mine in South Africa but since diamonds had no value, they created value through the visuals of Hollywood movies and ads on billboards and newspapers – it was a frenzy, diamonds were everywhere, on printed media, billboards, television, in music and referenced by poets. Diamonds were made desirable. They were made valuable. They now demonstrated the love you had for your partner. Culture derived, formulated and concluded that your engagement ring should be worth at least 3 months of your paycheck. It was a madhouse and everyone was in the delirium. For their efforts, De Beers made riches and they continue to own the diamond market in the world. Their success is attributed to the romantic age. The romantic age contained an impractical people. Indoctrinated in the constitution of the church, they believed in monogamy that is one partner for one man. The Romantics added to that and proclaimed that this partner should complete and fulfill you. The romantics United love and sex. The romantics were irrational, deluded and impractical. An institution that unites love and sex is flawed simply because sex is a form of expression. Sex is gratifying a desire. Sex is individuality. Sex procreates. It is possible to love you and not be sexually attracted to you. In the same way that I can have a mistress that I have sexual relations with and not love. In fact, it is the norm in our culture. We see this on books like “The Great Gatsby” with the characters of Tom Buchanan, Daisy, Tom’s mistress and Gatsby. Dispite his known infidelity, Tom goes back home to Daisy. We see this with Daisy too, she has an affair with Gatsby and later goes back to Tom. For Tom, Daisy represents stability, his heart and it is the same with Daisy. Their infidelities don’t mean that they don’t love each other. This is also exhibited on the 1974 movie “Emmanuelle”, where Emmanuelle’s partner doesn’t marry her for mere possession, he marries her because he loves her. He encourages her to explore her sexual desires and fantasies with other people besides him, citing “You not my beauty, not my property”. All that he asks for in the relationship is transparency and honesty. For them communication and trust is vitally important. They understand that love and sex can be separate. This makes the bond they have for one another strong. For love is patient and understanding. Love is practicality and reason. Love is not vain and shallow. It is not narcissistic entitlements and pride. Love operates at a positive wavelength. It calibrates at a high conscious level. Love is the default language of the world. Love is life.
Maybe there’s wisdom in monogamy for it creates a world of order in your life. Monogamy is stable and often reliable. It fosters closer relations in the family. Monogamy is warm, stable and secure. It makes life meaningful for we can raise our children and our grandchildren and die gracefully. Monogamy is consistent and always there for you. At least that’s what it promises on paper. The salesman who’s selling us on the idea of marriage is a great one because we still go into marriage head first dispite the staggering divorce rates. The odds of a divorce are 1 in 2, that’s 50% – that means either you or a friend is getting a divorce. This is because of the unrealistic promises of romanticism. I can’t be your everything. I can’t fill the void in your heart or complete you. I am not your savior. We can’t unite love and animal sex in our relationship, we can do it for a while but don’t expect it to last forever. Reason being is that I am flawed. I am a human being and I have my days were I am not at my best. Sometimes my actions are repulsive, bad natured and suspect. I have deep rooted insecurities. I am a horrible person but I try my best to be presentable. I am repressed and I will exhibit undesirable behavior. I am a mess and untidy. Sometimes I will get defensive and angry. I am narcissistic. I have a big ego. I am imperfect. I am a born sinner. With that said, let’s create a love that will be accomodative and sustaining for someone like me. I don’t believe in forever because I live in a vacuum of time and space. So let’s create something practical and usable. What is the reason of our union? Is it for protection and wealth, is it for a partnership, is it for cohabitation, is it to start and raise a family, is it the sex, is it because you love me and want to be with me forever and ever? Let’s discuss this and put it in the world. Let’s discuss how we can make provisions for our inadequacies. Let’s come to an agreement that will suit me and you. Let’s make our love objective and with a criteria, it will help regulate our actions and we will never take each other for granted.
In his comedy special, comedian Kevin Hart explores the difference between new relationships and relationships that have gone the long mile. He explains that he hates new relationships because everything is fake and we are in a continual process to impress our partner. He states that we are willing to do anything to prove we are the right person, that we regulate our impulses and emotions, that we are overly generous with everything including sharing food off our plates on our dates – despite the fact that we don’t like sharing food. He contrasts this with old relationships, where the couple are highly familiar with each other. He makes a joke stating that if that couple went inside a shop and the one person came out with snacks and the other one came out with Juice and the one with the snacks asked the one with the juice for a sip, the person with the juice would be outraged. That he wouldn’t share his juice and it would be the topic of the whole day. Mileage on relationships reveals people’s true nature and character is the aim of this joke. Urban Poet Kanye West, explores this on songs “Paranoid” and “RoboCop” in the awesome 2008 album “808’s and Heartbreaks”. Kanye talks about a girl who completely changes on her, she’s irrational, lacks trust and overly paranoid. This paranoia creates in her a RoboCop, whose constantly surveiling Kanye hoping to get evidence. The idea here is that the romantics version of love can make you crazy. Simply because it’s built on possession, ownership and entitlement to a person. The romantics love is the same as slave trading. It is a demon that needs to be exorcised from culture. We need a new kind of love. One that is intelligent, practical, reasonable and life affirming. Generally, there are 3 stages of love. First is the infatuation stage, where everything about our love object is perfect. We just can’t get enough of that person. The relationship is new and burning with desire. Sex is a constant and we just can’t keep our hands of each other. The duration of this stage is anywhere between a year to 3 years. Then we have the second stage. In this phase, the couple start the process of knowing each other. This stage is the fruit of the infatuation phase.
It is the most rewarding phase as it fosters closer relations. It fosters intimacy and spirituality. It is liberating. It is fulfilling. The 3rd stage is the accumulation of the 1st and 2nd phases. It is the limit. A place where everything dies. This is because everything has been established. Behaviors are now habits and novelty ceases to exist. You know everything about your partner and she knows everything about you. It can even be said that she knows you better than you know yourself. This is the natural order of all relationships. Unless, you can bring it back to the first step (infatuation phase) it will die. Hence, redefining yourself and creating relationship goals is key. It will keep the fire burning and enhance new qualities you didn’t know existed in you. It will generate a sense of wonder in the relationship. It will make your partner fall in love with you all over again. It will keep your relationship youthful and exciting. Relationship goals are key because at this point in the relationship you are one, a unit, a pair and as such a third entity has been created. This third entity is the love you have for each other and it has to grow, it has to self-realize. This third entity is a energy that needs to grow and expand. It needs fuel like how your body needs food. It needs love and support. It needs continual growth. Relationship goals or mutual goals are what will propel the relationship forward. It will refresh things in the relationship. It will refresh the stages or phases in the relationship. This is because goals require specialized focus and attention. It activates traits and talents you didn’t know existed in you. Goals are challenging and hard. Goals require a lot of work. This is what will keep your relationship flourishing.
Alternatively, we could just have a 5 year lease on love and marriage. Nothing in life is certain, especially the union of two individuals. This is because of cultural differences and our perceptions of the world. Our history and past makes us distinct from one another. We have different intentions and plans. Life is a process that keeps unfolding and developing. Evolution is constantly evolving and expanding. Change is eminent. Marriage as forever is a hoax like the moonlandings. We need to be able to adapt to new environments and ultimately conquer only to move on to newer pastures. A 5 year lease on marriage is active, it is progressive and will provide different perspectives. A 5 year lease on relationships and marriage provides us with freedom to live life on our terms. We will never take our partners for granted. Our lives will be filled with novelty and we will grow and become all that we can be. But maybe the state won’t allow that, to that I propose empathy and understanding for our partners. I propose patience and a light view of the world. I propose we treat our partners like we do our children. This is because, we are all children at heart. Maybe we forgot that we are children because the world is so harsh and doesn’t condone childish behaviors. The word “childish” has become an insult, a smear campaign on one’s character and conduct, a terrible disaster. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Consider for a minute how we treat our children. We are more emphatic, we are understanding and we are patient with them. This comes from the fact they are young, small, vulnerable and don’t know any better. We think it’s cute when they make blunders and we laugh. We are gentle. We are considerate and love them unconditionally. That is something we must adopt in our relationships. We should treat our partners like children. They are children at heart and also don’t know any better, in fact no one does. We are all lost in need of guidance, love and assurance. We should adopt the the action of giving and not expecting anything from our partners. Give with a pure heart. Give everything you have. This action will give longevity in the relationships in your life. You will be a better human being because you will be more empathic. People will seek refuge in your hands. If you treat your partner and the people all around you like children, you will see the light side of life and will laugh when life issues you a challenge. You will love yourself more. You will be strong and affirmed.
In 1998, critically acclaimed artist, the queen Lauryn Hill released an album titled “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”, it was lauded by critics and won Album of the year at the grammys. The album explores the subject of love. It is the most important music album ever created and is what love sounds likes. It covers, self-love, self-worth, self-identity, romantic love, family love, destiny, law of attraction, self-actualization, self-realization, ambition, Taoism, the human spirit or soul and happiness. It is an amazing album, unrivaled in any genre of music. The album is enlightened. It is an album that has the capability of changing your life in just one listen. It is an album that calibrated at an high energy level. It is natural and free. To add to the texture of the album, Lauryn Hill got kids to talk and discuss the subject of love. These kids give their insights on what they think love is – on what love means to them. That makes the album sound so special. It is heart-warming. You will never find a better album on love than this one, I promise you – it’s impossible. I encourage you to take a listen.
“I bet if I give all my love, then nothing is gonna tear us apart”. That line marked the peak of romanticism and its entrance into hip-hop. It’s a very naïve statement, one that is subjective, hopeful and detached from reality. It is as if Drake has taken love heroine; it is impulsive and desperate – it drips of anxiety and wishful thinking. In an age of romanticism, it is beautiful hence its success on the billboard charts, it peaked at number 1. This song comes off Drakes debut album “Thank Me Later” and the title of the song is “Find Your Love” written and produced by Kanye West. Kanye West is an amazing artist. He ushered in this new sound and made hip-hop lyrics more descriptive, more abstract. Sure, we had artists like Common who could paint pictures with their words and use words to evoke feelings but Kanye went a step further – he could do it with beats to create a mood, an atmosphere. He brought something new to hip-hop, something fresh. He was so innovative. He is the greatest creative of our time.
In 2008, he released his fourth album 808’s and Heartbreaks. It was completely new from anything he had ever done before. It was risky. However, romanticism had been at its peak. We had songs on the radio about love dominating. The Romantic Comedy genre was booming and Hollywood was hard at work. Love and romanticism was popular culture. This was reflected when Jay –Z, hip-hops biggest and greatest star released a song titled “03 Bonnie and Clyde” in which he proclaimed “All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend”. Tabloids and magazines went crazy with the idea, Jay –Z had proclaimed to the world that Beyoncé was his girlfriend – it was amazing, mystical and majestic! Once again, Kanye West was at the heart of it all – it was he who produced “03’ Bonnie and Clyde”. So there was a destiny to the release of “808’s and Heartbreaks”. Being Kanye, the album had to be different and fresh – a sound no one has ever heard before. To do this, he had to deconstruct the Rap genre only to reconstruct it again. For this album he would use all sort of drums, melodies, auto-tune, deep, heavy strings, keyboards and pianos. His lyrics were melancholic, desperate, full of loneliness, dread, rue, resentment, sometimes hopeful and optimistic but detached from reality. It was such a grand idea – mind blowing concept but only execution mattered, he was in unchartered territory and only excellence would do and it did!
The first track of the album takes off from “Find Your Love” in the sense that he gives everything to this girl. Instead of reciprocating she’s distant and makes half-baked promises. You see this girl doesn’t really love Kanye and eventually he sees this and breaks up with her. “Say You Will” is about Kanye venting out his troubles and anxieties. Kanye is caught up and in a world of his own. He is sad and wishes things were different. Kanye wishes that this girl loved her, this is reflected in the lyrics “I admit that I, still fantasize about you”. The chorus “Hey, hey, hey don’t say you will, unless you will” protests and confronts but he does this subjectively in his mind because his alone and contemplative. The looped beat is symbolic of how pathological promises are and it communicates that Kanye West is locked in trance – a world of his own. Further, it sets the mood of the album and preheats the listener to the sound of the album namely that it will be rich in melodies, drums and sorrowful lyrics and venting.
The album commences with the second track “Welcome to Heartbreak”. The song starts off with heavy strings that communicates anxiety and distress. The lyrics are full of disappointment and the notion that everything always goes wrong. The song features Kid Cudi who is known for moaning and groaning in his songs. He gives the song edge and his tone compliments the song’s texture and sorrowful melodies. The song is the equivalence of “why always me”? The song that follows is “Heartless”, it tells the tale of how Kanye West met a girl who changed his life. A girl who showed him human nature. He describes her as cold and devoid of a heart. The beat is up-tempo, repetitive and easy on the ear. This is a dramatic turn from “Welcome to Heartbreak” and it sets the mood for the upcoming songs. We can assume that the girl he is referring to on Heartless is the same girl on “Say You Will” because not delivering a promise has legitimate grounds to being heartless especially in the context of something so complicated as love. Again, the song is in the first person indicating that Kanye felt a direct injustice – something covered on “Say You Will”.
The fourth track “Amazing” takes off from the upbeat and up-tempo “Heartless”. It is endorsed by powerful kick drums and complimented with soulful melodic keys. It is your typical Kanye West song. It is strong, affirmed, assured and a confidence booster. The song is egotistical and narcissistic. He prides himself to being a great prize. The use of “amazing” as an adjective communicates superiority and being number one. It is an infectious statement and one he says no one will ever take away from him. It is the rare moment in the album where he is upbeat and confident of himself. The next track “Love lockdown” is about the glory of falling in love. How it can hypnotize and keep you in a trance. The song is up-beat, rich with multiple drums and complimented with piercing keys. It is musical, cohesive and concise. It sounds like the best day ever! It is an iconic song, the first single of the album.
The next song “Paranoid” is a tale of the common ground most relationships reach in this era of romanticism. Namely, that everything is great at first and you are in love as exhibited on “Love Lockdown” but as time goes on you get fed up with one another, you fight, get irritated by one another and ultimately hate one another. Kanye West explores the obsessive nature of relationships in this phase – it is only natural in this era of romanticism that when you love someone, you want to possess him/her and know everything about that particular person. Spying and surveillance becomes the norm. At this stage of the album Kanye West is rational stating “You worry about the wrong things, the wrong things, you worry about the wrong things.” Once again, his contemplative.
He continues contemplating on “Robocop” and tables a “pros and cons” list. He discovers a lot of bad than good. Kanye feels confined, restricted cooped up in her little cell. He describes her as a “drama-queen” and questions why she is always surveilling him and checking everything! Kanye West at this point is fed up because she never stops – she likens her to a Robocop an entity that’s suffocating and challenging his freedom with no recess. He states that she is crazy, but he loves that about her, however it’s not enough. He makes a decision to leave her and cites the reason as her being a “Spoiled little LA girl.”
Now single on “Streetlights” he is optimistic about life again. He feels liberated. It is as if for the first time in his life, his alive and it excites him. He realizes for the first time that everything in the world ultimately fades and he wants to experience life. As an individual, he has goals and destinations that he has to go to and his hoping the streetlights will illuminate the path for him. The song is optimistic and has a good feeling about it. A departure from the earlier songs in the album. The beat is energizing and forward-going. The melodies are more golden and spirited with plenty of life. The song is soothing, motivated and beautiful. At least that’s what it sounds like, despite the optimism of the beat, the golden and rich melodies, the song has a terrible and dark anti-climax. There is an internal confliction – the beat and the melodies are a deception. While Kanye feels like he has done everything he could to get to his destination, he remains stagnant and he is left a frustrated figure. Ultimately confessing that life is not fair. The realization that maybe the streetlights lead nowhere. He questions his life – he questions his destiny.
Kanye once again drifts off into melancholy on “Bad News”. He once again contemplates about the girl on “Say You Will” and thinks about her betrayal. The fact that he loved her and she wasn’t emotionally there for him instead she had somebody on the side. Kanye West sees everything in blue and this is reflected with the violins and other strings in this song. They emphasize Kanye’s sadness and paint a picture of rue and heartbreak. He just can’t stop thinking about her. The power of melancholy is that it enables you to reflect, it slows you down and takes the will of life out of you, leaving you in shambles and tatters. At this point of the album Kanye West feels broken.
On the next song “See You in My Nightmares” we see a different Kanye. He is resentful and angry. The anger in the song makes him passionate and forceful. Anger is the next stage from melancholy because it enables you to act. He takes out all the hurt and confusion of the album in this song. The song is grand and bold. It has synthesizers that echo and robust hip-hop beats with additional vocals from Lil Wayne. It is a therapeutic song for Kanye West in the context of the album. This song will help him move on. On the last track of the album “Coldest Winter” he makes peace with everything and falls in the background of the hard, hitting drums. On “Coldest Winter” he bids goodbye to the girl in the intro whom he loved. However, a powerful realization just came to me, he could be bidding goodbye to his mother who died round about the same time he created “808’s and Heartbreaks”. He states “Good bye my friend, I won’t ever love again. Never again” – that’s powerful and it sheds important insight to his frame of mind. Of course, Kanye can “love” again via romantic relationship and he has done with Kim Kardashian – but when your mother dies, that’s it you can make that powerful declaration of not loving ever again. No one is like your mother. A masterful creative project from Kanye West! So emotionally charged and beautiful in a tragic way. One of his best albums. People 50 years from now will listen to it and think “WOW”!
The hidden track of the album “Pinocchio Story” is a very sophisticated song. It is very lively and intelligent. It covers the topic of existentialism – the meaning of life. Pinocchio is a wooden puppet who has a lot of questions about life. He lacks a self-campus and seeks to find self-worth from the outside world. His deep hatred of himself makes him want to be a “real boy”. Kanye West uses Pinocchio as a metaphor to communicate his worries and troubles – to make a connection between the “real” and the abstract. Kanye West questions the validity of life, its essence, its fabric and whether the life of fame is worth it. He looks at his own life and notes that it’s too material and those worldly assets are making him empty inside. He feels like a wooden object devoid of emotions like love – like Pinocchio. There’s this comical irony in this story; Pinocchio seeks a self-identity from the outside world and Kanye West finds nothing from the outside world instead, the outside world makes him empty and feeling worthless. Since Kanye West is already a “real boy”, he feels being alone with himself again will make him “real”. In the context of the song “real” is the ability to love. He doesn’t find answers in the song, his just being thoughtful and thinking out loud. His confused about life and the meaning of it and he consults with a wise man who advises him that one day he’ll find his way.
“Every twenty-nine years the planet returns to the same point in the sky that it occupied at the moment of our birth.” That is a Paulo Coelho quote, bestselling author who is known for producing works like “The Alchemist”. By “the planet”, he refers to Saturn and he states that at the moment we are born we have twenty-nine years of unlimited potential, in that time we can choose to become who and what we want to be. After the twenty-nine year cycle the world closes and we become our dominant actions and thoughts. He states that the second cycle comes when we are 56 years old and at that time we can reinvent ourselves again and become what we desire. Paulo Coelho states that after those 29 years in which Saturn has returned to the same point in the sky that it occupied at the moment of our birth, life becomes automated and passive. Life becomes the product of those twenty-nine years. It is a beautiful analogy, one that makes me take an interest in astronomy. Neuroscience seems to agree with this notion and our culture is articulate in expressing this phenomena. We see this on movies like “The Incredible 2”; Jack-Jack is a superhero baby who has unlimited powers. Edna, the artist who creates the heroes super-suits calls him “pure unlimited potential”. This of course is a metaphor because when babies are born, they are born with the capability of becoming anything they want. Babies are infinite. Babies are pure and their eyes are clean, yet to be indoctrinated by any external forces. Babies come from the world of Gods, completely untainted by the idea of mortality or fabrications of humanity. The statement that you can become whatever you like holds true for babies because they are yet to explore their maps. That is the idea for the character of Jack-Jack in the Incredibles franchise. We see a complete contrast of this idea when we pay attention to his father “Mr. Incredible”. Unlike Jack-Jack, Mr. Incredible is specialized. He has one superpower which is strength and he has made it into a skill to fight bad guys. Mr. Incredible knows his limitations and his strengths. Something that cannot hold true for Jack-Jack as he can do anything – including teleporting to an alternate dimension. There are neuroscience reasons for this phenomena, when we are young our neuro-links are liked to a lot of stuff in our minds. As we get older some of these things in our minds dissipate so we can specialize in certain tasks that are conducive and promote our way of life. This is the direction we must take to become competent adults in the world. We have to narrow down and specialize. This means getting a job and becoming responsible. This means instilling order in a chaotic world.
Specializing is the biggest thing that we do in life. Specializing means ignoring all the noise and listening to the music. It means concentrating on the things that give your life value. Specializing means being in sync with yourself. Specializing means intense focus on yourself. This is the reason why elite soccer stars like Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo play only football and nothing else. It also explains their troubles with the taxes and the law. Being an adult means letting go of all the things that could be to sustain what is. Hence, the Saturn analogy is a perfect one. After 29, you are the mass decisions of your life. After 29, your ways are set in stone and you have earned your strips. Donald Glover talks about this on his “Weirdo” comedy special when he states “If you’re a conservative when you’re 30, you’re going to be conservative for the rest of your life.” Pretty much by the time we turn 30, we are who we’ll be for the rest of our lives. We see an example of this from Billionaire Shawn Cater aka Jay –Z who upon getting his break in 1996 when he was 26 years old, never stopped working. He was relentless vigor. From 1996 to 2001, he released an album every year. Every album that he released was certified Platinum. First and foremost, he saw himself as a business, a brand and at age 31 in 2001 – he was already a great businessman and because the rules of Saturn are true, he became a Billionaire in less than 20 years. It’s fair to say that at age 29, in 1999 Jay –Z was already set in his ways. Everything after 1999 was automatic – he was an astute businessman for the rest of his life. On his critically acclaimed album “The Blueprint” on the track “Never Change”, he talks about consistency and being the same all his life. He hook of the song states: “I’m still fuckin’ with crime ’cause crime pays, I never change! Out hustlin’, same clothes for days, I never change! I’ll never change, I’m too stuck in my ways, I never change!” The rules of Saturn made his destiny concreate and for the rest of his life all he has to do is to show up. He has a chance to change when he turns 56 in 6 years’ time when the second cycle of Saturn will commence but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
The journey of Saturn starts when you are a little child and gains momentum when you are in your late-teens approaching twenties. This is because at that age, you need to be able to screen out the things that don’t matter to you and concentrate on the things that do. It is a very difficult thing to do and you can find yourself getting lost in a maze of peer-pressure and self-destructive behavior. It is also a time where the majority of people look outward instead of inward. It is a time when we are indoctrinated into society’s ideals and conventions. At this age, you are vulnerable because you lack an identity and society is more than willing to assign one to you. It is at this point where people are indoctrinated into mass thinking and lose synchrony with Saturn. Some find their way after exploring and unite with Saturn while others go completely off-track. The ones who return find their purpose and live fulfilling lives. They live with true freedom and value the experiences of life. 2 Pac talks about this phenomena on the awesome Kendrick Lamar album “To Pimp a Butterfly” on the track “Mortal Man” when he states: In this country, a black man only have like 5 years we can exhibit maximum strength. And that’s right now while you a teenager, while you still strong. While you still wanna lift weights, while you still wanna shoot back. ‘Cause once you turn 30 it’s like, they take the heart and soul out of a man.” MJ DeMarco continues with this idea on his bestselling business book “The Millionaire Fastlane” when he states: “When you are under 25 you have maximum horsepower and your choices discharge an incredible amount of horsepower. A simple choice I made more than 20 years ago is still felt today. That’s a lot of torque! If you reflect on your choices, you make them in an instant, yet their consequences transcend a lifetime, especially ones made in early in life.”
It seems as though the notion of being young forever is a myth, one that has to be shuttered. A life in your twenties chasing novelty after novelty has dire consequences. It has existentialist consequences for it strips away the identity of the person. It restricts potential and drowns in an ocean of mediocrity. A life in your twenties chasing novelty causes depression in your 30’s and depression at your 30’s is forever. Depression at your 30’s sets up nihilism and an unfulfilled life for all of your days. The problem of 30 is that we are supposed to have certain elements in our lives in order and under control, the problem arises when we don’t. It is a debilitating and paralyzing realization. One that questions your worth and purpose. One that fuels suicidal thoughts. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. The most important thing in life is self-awareness. If you have that, you can live the life of the hero – that is to turn unexplored territory into explored territory. The new things that you are doing in your life will make your legs lighter and new code will be generated in your neural circuitry causing pathways to be formed. With newly established pathways, you can push yourself and challenge yourself. You can demolish the preconceived notions that you had about yourself and create a new persona that the new constructed mind will be able coincide with. You can call upon Saturn to give you another change – your second cycle can commence immediately after the first one has elapsed! You can redeem yourself like a hero! Yes, a hero! But do I think that it’s possible to redeem yourself? Sadly, it was just banter and I don’t. Adopting the life of the hero after 29 is highly unrealistic.
I met her early this year when I was doing my hero things. Hero things is a code name for hustling. I wanted a bit of capital to start a project that I was ruminating about for sometime. The Universe responded by bringing this cool Russian guy in my life. He was upbeat and enthusiastic. He had a good energy, he was positive, optimistic. And so we talked, he had 3 shops in the Sandton mall and needed someone to push product for him. The profit margins were good and so I accepted. I figured a couple of weeks pushing product wouldn’t hurt. On his payroll, he had this hot girl who made time slow down. Naturally, I inquired about her from one of the managers in the shop. Just to go back in the story, this manager guy was a cool guy and in one of our conversations I remember telling him about my love for everything German. So when I asked about that girl, he was generous with the information. He said “Her name is Shira, she has been working with us for a while now. She is a senior here and one of our top performers. She easily makes 100K in a month. She was born in Germany and stayed there until her teens and then she moved up in Isreal.” I responded “Wow! Great, then maybe she can teach me German!” I saw a real opportunity with her. It would be difficult but not impossible. With a few co-ordinated moves I would draw in her attention. She was beautiful, dark brown eyes, full eyebrows and her hair was black and long. She was a mixture of more than two tribes. She was different. Not quite Caucasian, her skin color was in the minority like Spanish-latino. She was exotic. Man, I had never seen beauty like hers. Her accent was nothing I’ve ever heard before. Her height was average, not too tall and not too short. Make-up made her the best looking woman in the world. I was impressed. She was indifferent towards me, I remember when I was playing some Kanye West in the shop, in the morning while I was checking inventory, I was playing for me, the volume was low-pitched and she came in and told me to not play gangster music in the shop. I was perplexed. I mean “Late Registration” Kanye, gangster music? I chuckled because I had some Dr. Dre and Jay- Z on my phone. If she wanted gangster music, I could show her. But I listened to her plead and changed to Amy Winehouse. When I got home, I thought about that interaction. And yea, Kanye West “Late Registration” would sound like gangster music for a German-Israeli woman, especially considering the host who’s playing the music, I was too edgy and with spikes all over and she knew that I came from Alex, Gomora. Still, she didn’t project a lot of things. Unlike some other fool I was working with who was condescending, he was like “You are not what I expected” and I responded lightly and with curiosity: “Why, because I know words?” He laughed nervously and the realization came to his mind that I had put him in his place. Sometimes you need your ego to put fools in their place. Soon enough word got out that I had put the mighty Chase in his place. This was a big deal because he was one of the managers in the shops. He was feared and used a lot of intimidation techniques. I think it was an “Alpha” thing for him, he loved ruling with an iron fist. This made him feel strong and respected. He would take digs at your confidence and later assassinate your character. I knew his type the first day I cast eyes on him. He wouldn’t do such to me, his not my boss, in fact no one is. I am here because my skills benefit the company. No insecure man is going to project his feelings of insecurity on me. After the interaction, I was a magnat for the female employees. It was like I had slayed the big bad wolf. I was the hero! They loved being around me. I made them feel safe. It was an attraction thing, the sexual tension was high, it was hot, it was intoxicating, there was life in the place and that’s how I reeled Shira in.
One day I was busy with in inventory and I was playing Ludovico Einaudi, a piano wizard and she was like you playing great stuff. And I was like yes, I got you now. In my head of course, because I understood that she was making the initiative and well, my moto in life is go with it. Let the stars lead you to where you are going. Go with the wind. Be like water my friend. I knew she was interested because was giving me nervous energy and it made her behave in a way that she couldn’t understand. She was ruled by the collective unconscious and she was possessed and locked in a paradigm that she couldn’t comprehend. She was in a spell. In fairyland. Far, far away. And so I understand baby girl be grumpy and act out. I know I am the one in your mind. Your subconscious, your reality you locked in your own time frame. In different frequencies, different vibrations your being tells you to take control of me. Let’s do this man, I will give you an audience. You pretty, I like you. Let’s see what happens. She took my phone, stating she wanted to see my music. She saw Mozart, she saw Beethhoven, Strauss, Vivaldi, Adele, Amy Winehouse, Moonchild, Pachelbel Cannon, Jay Z, J. Cole, Solange, Al Green, Alicia Keys, Wale, August Green, Jill Scott, Kendrick Lamar, Ludovico Enaudi, Kanye West, Ray Charles, Josiah Disciple, Nina Simone, Common, Charles Mingus, Lauryn Hill, Nora Jones, Lira, Roberta Flack, Dr. Dre, The Delfonics, Pharrell Williams. I felt it was a good list. It is diversified. She compliments me on a couple of albums. I respond, I am flattered, let’s see where this goes. She minimizes the screen and locates my digital library and she sees a lot of Classics and then she locates the one called the Kuma Sutra and her eyes lighted like Christmas day in the movie Home Alone. Oh, you have “Kuma Sutra, she says. I reply,” of course”. “Cool” she responds. She puts my phone down and leaves. I knew I would be hearing from her again. A couple of days later, I got a text “send me the Kuma Suthra”. I knew who it was from and I wasted no time and did what it instructed. I think I have a chance with this hot German lady. It was incredible. It was great. She was a bit older than me. She went to the Gym. She did Yoga. She was fit. Great natural breasts. Wonderful buckets of life. Juicy. Succulent. Sourcy. Delicious. I took kneed of the indicator and followed suite. I attacked like Manchester United in the champions league final in 1999 against Bayern Munich. Bring out Ole, let’s push and he got us that great goal. Ole, Ole, Ole! She started telling me about her fantasies. She started to get sexual. She stated that she wanted to sit on my face. I was perplexed. Like, I can suck on your pussy baby girl, it’s not a problem. I aim to please. But why sit on my face? I responded “I want to fuck those tities.” It was the only thing I could say that could rival her statement. The whole thing now had a life on its only.
After all the talking, flirtation and boastful claims the day happened. It was at her house in Sandton. I disputed restaurants, I thought they were impersonal. So, she made it her task to cook for me. It was good. What can I say? There was always food in the fridge. That’s important. It’s a great thing. Be consistent with matters of life. One thing led on another and we were kissing. It was mellow and grounded kissing. It was gradual, it was artistic, it was filled with desire, kissing filled with faint moans and grows, characterized with tougue service and the exchange of the saliva. Then she slowed down the process and said “let’s go into the bedroom”. And so we went. She told me to lie on the bed and get comfortable and she went to her bathroom. A couple of minutes later, she was in her bra and panties coming right straight at me. It was like a dream, a perfect moment in the scope of the Universe. She started kissing on me and laid me to the bed. At this point, she was the dominant party and I was just recrieprocating her energy. She kissed me on my mouth and my neck. It was slow, it was sensual.
She descented to the bottom and took my pants off. Before she gave me full attention, I took my shirt off. It was proper. It was thorough. Probably the best head I’ve ever had it my life. She gave it respect. She worship my cock, it was great to see. Then she came up when I was on and started kissing me. She took off her bra, while she was on top of me and started giving me handjobs. She was jerking, she was shaking and I was hearing music in my mind filled with melodies and angelic voices. She gave me heaven on earth. She then stopped, got off and took off her panties. She climbed on top of me and we grinded bodies. Her boobs firmly pressed to my chest and we were kissing. My arms covering all of her body like a blanket. It was intimate, it was warm. It was fulfilling and life defining. She then inserted my cock in her pussy and she rocked. Her boobs still to my chest, she used her lower body, bouncing that ass like a rubber ball. The reps started getting higher and higher and she shook like an earthquake, it was violent, it was shaky, it shattered my mind in a million pieces. After that she took a moment and relaxed. My cock still in her pussy. She took it off and kissed me. I was still at the bottom, and she was still on top like mighty Bayern Munich. Like Manuel Neuer, Mr. Sweeper Keeper, the captain. Before I knew it her pussy was in mouth. Goddammit! She sit on my face. Her desire had been fulfilled. If I could I would have avoided that but it was too late now. I had to work with what was on the table. I stuck out my toungue and started locating the clit. I was successful a couple of times and so I kept on going. I activated her like a charger to a dying phone. I was her savior. King serpent with the tongue that strings your pussy like a cello. After she fell on the bed, exhausted. Finally, it was my chance to be on top and I took it like a champ! I started kissing her. Kissed her on the lips. Kissed her on her neck. Descending to her breasts and started sucking, licking and nibbling. It was heaven on steroids with God at the club ordering free drinks to everyone. I descented to the bottom and started kissing the insides of her thighs. I gave her clit a bit of attention and started penetrating. She blossomed like a flower, opening her legs like a gate and I went in missionary style. I started slow so she would get acquainted to the position. I started slow to make her comfortable. I increased the frequency and the reps started doubling and increasing. I was heading to the finish line when something stopped me. I removed my cock in her pussy and started kissing her. Slowly I moved my torso up her chest and put my cock between. She understood the process. She squeezed her tits together and started moving them up and down. She repeated this process and it was delightful. I felt something in me fused and I exploded like fireworks in the sky on the first day of the new year. The evidence lay on her breasts, it was sourcy, it was amazing! The miracle of life. It was a great session. It was a great day. I moved over and went over to her bathroom to take a shower. I took my boxers and headed for the fridge. I took out the orange juice and located a long glass. Poured the juice to the brim and heading to the balcony. With the wind blowing in my face, I congratulated myself, today was a successful day. Because Shira, gave me best pussy of my life. It was the way she opened her legs for me, they spread like a butterfly and I had the permission to do whatever I wanted to her body. It was exhilarating. It was exciting. At times she was submissive, passive and without control. I felt like Hitler with her body, a tyrant, inflicting my will onto her. It felt good, it was a release, it was liberating. It was life at its best moment. Finally I understood Chris Rocks sentiments on that Kanye West song “Blame Game”, she took the game up a whole another level! The fact that she was experienced helped. She wasn’t lazy and a slob. I hate inactivity and a unwillingness to step-up. She wanted to do this and it made things easy for me because all I had to do was step-up and show consistency in my actions. My aim is to get to 30 minutes, if I can do that, then the sky is the limit. However 30 minutes require a lot of practice and exercise, a luxury I don’t currently have. But I am optimistic, with time I will have plenty of practice. What now for the hero? I thought. The world. Business is strictly on my mind now or I will fail, drift off and stumble. While I might think I am autonomous and free, unrestricted and not barred, I was still in the claws of pussy. My perceived control was an illusion.
When Beyonce has you, you are not going anywhere. She has her claws deep in my spirit, she’s incredible, I love her. I was always a JAY-Z guy, sure Beyonce was there and doing great but I never really listened to her music. I am a boy and boys don’t listen to Beyonce, they listen to JAY-Z. I did listen to “Lemonade” when it was released though, I thought it was incredible, undoubtedly the best album when it came out. I loved it, it was raw, inspired, honest, revealing, vulnerable and emotional. It was a journey into Beyonces pysche, her soul was in it. It felt personal and heartfelt. I felt her personality, I felt the words and emotions, her content was grounded in reality. Still, I shyed away from it because I identified with JAY-Z. So when “4:44” dropped, I deleted “Lemonade” and went with JAY-Zs narrative. That “Lemonade” album is the most dangerous thing I have ever heard, worse than “Ether”, JAY-Z was in real danger, cheating on Beyonce is like cheating on the whole world. And so JAY-Z had to explain himself to the world and the album needed to be a classic. Going to No ID for the production of the album was a great idea. “4:44” diffused the situation, JAY-Z had to apologize, a lot could have gone wrong, he almost lost a great appreciating asset there, but praise God, he did the right thing, I was happy and satisfied with “4:44”. I always knew Beyonce was talented beyond words but I never really gave her an audience. This changed a couple of months ago when I finally got the “4” album. The “4” album had “Love on top” and I always loved that song but somehow I never got the album. I didn’t have the confidence to go the music store and purchase a Beyonce album. Years later I finally get the album and the first track of the album is “Love on top”, my brainwaves spiked, it was like I was overdosing on dopamine. The whole album was great and certainly worth the wait. I wanted some more so I got “Lemonade” again. Listening to “Lemonade” this time was like discovering Kanye West for the first time, in the sense that I fell in love again. I had this feeling that I couldn’t explain but I knew it was greatness. It was like a new reality was opening up to me. I felt renewed. My subconscious mind knew the lyrics to the songs so I was pretty much in free flow, I enjoyed my experience. After listening to “Lemonade” that day, I was pretty much hooked, I couldn’t believe a woman like Beyonce existed, I was smitten and hypnotized by her aura, artistry and energy. I got the self-titled album, also a classic, I’ve been in love and obsessed ever since. I love the subjects she covers in her songs, she is the embodiment of femininity, she empowers and she inspires. I saw the Super Bowl performance she did with Bruno Mars and Coldplay in 2016 and it’s the most epic performance ever. In the performance she battles Bruno Mars with the crowd cheering in the background. Bruno Mars is the only person in the world that could rival her greatness and he did it. She’s impossible to beat on an ordinary day with no stakes but this time around she had a point to prove, she was performing for her legacy. She had on an outfit that was inspired by Michael Jackson in the 1993 Super Bowl. While performing she misses a step and almost falls on her ass but she recovers so quickly that her mistake can’t even be seen and continues performing at a high level. The recovery is so quick that you can see it with the naked eye, but I saw it, and yet the narrative is that it was one of the greatest performances in Super Bowl history. She’s so professional and amazing. Damn, I was blown away by that performance, it was excellence, a master operating at the peak of her powers. Beyonce can make you go crazy.
antakalipa 