Superstar 🌟
A million views but you had to get naked in front of a camera.
Prostitution,
the world’s oldest profession.
How much for your soul?
Attention in the 21st century is the hottest commodity.
Eyeballs validate and give you an evaluation.
A million views – WOW!
You are a superstar!
Prostitution,
still the world’s oldest and most lucrative profession.
Now everybody is doing it.
Breakfast with Mugabe
At the Market Theatre for the opening of “Breakfast with Mugabe, Standard Bank had an influence, drinks, soup, bread and general snacks on the house. Posed for pictures with distinguished people, met the director Calvin Ratladi.
Written by Fraser Grace, ‘Breakfast with Mugabe’ stars Themba Ndaba portraying Mugabe and Gontse Ntshegang as his wife, Grace. Craig Jackson plays Mugabe’s psychiatrist, Dr Peric, while Zimbabwean actor Farai Chigudu takes on the role of Mugabe’s bodyguard. The play is about Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe’s fictional imagining of conversations with white psychiatrist Dr Peric. Initially, Mugabe is avoidant, he misses appointments and comes late. They go deep delving into Mugabe’s psyche, the struggle is unearthed, bombings comes to the surface and love of country is elevated. The characters speak in Shona for realism, the play is in English. Exploitation happens, the white farmer loses his farm. The play explores grief, healing, faith, nationalism and legacy.
The set is in Zimbabwe’s head of state, coat of arms on the wall and a portrait of a painting on the other side of the wall. Elevated slightly by a stage in the middle is a trio of chairs and a table for juice. On the ground is soil, it features at the start and the end of the play. Themba Ndaba is brilliant as Robert Mugabe, he embodies his mannerisms, the restless energy, panting, speech and demeanor. I loved Gontse Ntshegang, she is so beautiful and amazing, she stole the show as Grace. She is after your farm white man. Craig Jackson as Dr Peric is a psychiatrist whose about learn what it means to be a white farmer in Zimbabwe, he learns the hard way, he loses. Farai Chigudu as the bodyguard beats up the white psychiatrist.
Thought-provoking piece of theatre that delves into the intricacies of human nature. I know I missed so much, it’s not something you watch once. You need multiple viewings to scratch the surface. It can completely go over your head, it needs meditation and contemplation. This is undoubtedly a masterpiece.
Congratulations Calvin Ratladi and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.
📷: SamSays
Master Harold… and the boys
On the square for the opening of “Master Harold… ” and the Boys. Filled to the brim, no space. Celebrities, celebrities, swimming all around, it’s a serious day for theatre, three performers at the top of their game delivering a Athol Fugard classic, RIP.
The story started off light with a comedic tone, with Willie and Sam conversing about the upcoming ballroom competition. Willie has high hopes of winning but he doesn’t have a partner. He beats his beloved Hilda, too much and too hard. Sam comes off as an expert. He teaches Willie a couple of moves. Hally, a white 17 year old, comes in and the atmosphere and relationship dynamic changes. Willie positions himself in the background, cleaning, keeping things moving. He calls Hally master. Hally even admonishes him and beats him with his ruler. Sam is more liberated, they talk about Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace, Charles Darwin, Kites, and Dostoevsky. They seem familiar, they are in sync, there’s an understanding and then everything switches. Racism, hate, apartheid, I am better than you Kaffer, spilling this bottle of alcohol on the floor because I can, clean it up! Also you gonna have to start calling me master Harold, Kaffer. All bridges get burned when Hally does the unthinkable and spits on Sam’s face. Everything shatters, there’s no going back, what’s done is done. The play takes place in a small tea shop on a rainy afternoon. You hear the raindrops and we have the added sensation of seeing the rain. The rain sets the mood, it’s depressing, they do their best to amuse themselves, they are trapped in one room, Hally’s father is a cripple and his mother currently at the hospital, the mask peels off.
Sello Maake ka-Ncube plays Sam, a waiter at the coffee shop.
Daniel Anderson is “Hally”, oh sorry, master Harold.
Lebohang Motaung is “Willie”, the other waiter/cleaner.
Set designer by Wilhelm Disbergen, an awesome set that evoked the 1950s.
This is such a powerful show. Hats off to Daphne Kuhn and Theatre on the square for yet another banger! It starts off nice and slow and then it hits you with a vice grip. You can’t go anymore, you are trapped, there is nowhere to go. It’s triggering. An outstanding performance from the performers who told the story masterfully. Daniel Anderson shocked me to my core today.
Congratulations to Warona Seane and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.
Peacock
I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. I am flattered, but not in this life. You need to stop masquerading as my wife. Move along and find someone who will take you as a wife. You deterring the ladies who have a chance, so slanderous your stories and they starting to spread rife. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you ain’t my type. Maybe the blade is in too deep but it’s only because it’s a knife. You don’t get this enough but I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. I am a popular guy and I have some options, you’re the kid in the corner who never gets adopted. You’re a special kid but this ain’t a contest. You just don’t fit the requirements to take the test. What can I say? Okay fine, I’ll hear you out, give you the chance to work your magic, run the catwalk, the expedition don’t need to be tragic. But at the end of the day I have to be honest, I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. You’re a good kid, pretty smile, find you a good guy who won’t mind walking the extra mile. I am looking the other way, it’s a bye. I’ve never been the guy to sustain a lie. You’re too mellow and yellow, can’t reach my level so a collaboration is a hello no! Good presentation, a wonderful try but I have to be honest, I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. I walk naked in the gyms locker room to intimidate other guys with my massive cock, not just another Peacock. One night with me would surely rock, but you a nerd and I am a jock. Move over for the ladies who actually have a chance, I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life.
Graveland
At the Market Theatre to watch “Graveland”. Social commentary, reflecting life back at us. Heartfeltingly moving, poignant, tragic. A story of love, hate, injustices, grudges that never get mended, characters who are bitter and unjustlyingly so. Two stories, two perspectives, you can emphatize with both scenarios, unhealed trauma, life goes on.
A story of a foreign national who one day gets a promotion at work. The natives are jealous, angry and offended. They won’t take orders from “ikwerekwere”. The disrespect is evident, so the foreign manager gets the natives axed from work and hires a brother. Chaos ensures, they stone his brother to death and made him watch, he begged, he pleaded, he was at their mercy, the damned South Africans didn’t care, they wrapped a tyre around his torso and set it alight. He burned to ashes. The broken man returned home with his dead brother for ashes, contained in a cup that looks like a flusk, it’s not even a proper urn. The family are heartbroken, they plan an excursion to get back their lost ones soul in South Africa.
In South Africa, Mahikeng, they encounter a disagreeable, xenophobic cop who arrests them. He demands R8000 for ‘tjo tjo” bribe money, R2000 per person. The foreign nationals can’t do anything, worse is that one of them left a pregnant wife at home. The Cops hate comes from his experiences as an officer of the law. He is pro South African, that’s who he regards, he calls foreign nationals cocroaches. Hillbrow Central, his sister was killed by a foreign national. She was used, she was abused and she died. His brother, the cop, couldn’t do anything, investigations with dead-ends. He hates foreign nationals, very stereotypical, the jobs, women, drugs, we suffering too, stay in your own country, solve your own problems, we suffering too. Towards the conclusion, he shoots a man wanting to go home to his wife and kid. Another African child will grow up without a father.
The show stars
Allen Cebekulu, Diane Maseko, Abongile Maurice, Dineo Sello, Thabiso Rammala, Confidence “Mamzo” Lokhele, Thokozani “zits” Maseko, Sinenhlanhla Mbeyi & Lunga Khuhlane.
Produced by: Relebohile Mabunda
Written & Directed by: Thembeni Joni & Lunga Khuhlane
Movement by: Sinenhlanhla Mgeyi
Production Designer: Sinenhlanhla Q. Zwane
Percussionist: Mongezi Yamba
Congratulations Lule Productions and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.
Spite beer
I am tired of feeding other men’s habits, week in, week out, I am the one buying beer. These motherfuckers, bloodsuckers, they are sucking me dry, like mosquitos, buzzing, irritating, never contributing anything to the group. How can you come to people with nothing? You wanna drink other men? I am tired of thinking for people who don’t think for me. They never buy me beer but I buy for them every time, round after round. I don’t need this, I have a girlfriend. They are using me, masquerading as my friends, using me to further their gains, they think I don’t see. I am cool guy but I can’t be helping niggas all the time, what do they do for me? My compassion is my weakness, I need to get my house in order, I can’t be saving other people. 24 Corona is not enough, less than an hour and nothing, I only had two beers, they are working against time, where did the other 22 go? They not using beer as an agent to enhance the experience, instead they using it as a storage tank, gulping the beer not thinking it runs out, now who needs to buy another 24? So I’ll get spite beer, something that will deter them, repel them like Peaceful sleep, fucking mosquitoes, a drink that will shrivel their faces like sour grapes. Spite beer is the only solution, I will retain more units of beer while saving up on buying more. Spite beer, now to want beer is to want the spite beer! Spite beer because I need to control my paradigm. Spite beer because I don’t need anymore friends. Spite beer because it’s more progressive.
Pieces of me
I was at the Market Theatre for the opening of “Pieces of me” by Bo Petersen. A poignant play about family, belonging, race and identity. Set in the era of apartheid, the story world is plagued by inequality, segregation and racism. A time of the bompass, when you had to carry your identification documents at all times to gain access to parts of the country. This law severely limited the movements of black South Africans and was viciously enforced by the police with violence and jail time being norm for perpetrators who didn’t have their identification documents at hand. A time of Prohibition of mixed marriages act, an act that made it illegal for a white person to marry any other race, the immortality act, an act that barred sexual relations between whites and non-whites, transgressors could face up to 7 years in prison and the infamous Group Areas act that designated certain areas for certain races among other stringent, harsh and unfair acts.
Pieces of me explores Bo’s life, about how her father classified as “colored” marries her mother classified as “white” and the emotional toll of having to live in secrecy because of the laws imposed on them. After falling in love and having having 5 children together, her father passes off as white, a lie if discovered could send him to prison for 10 years and destroy the family.
Bo Petersen tells the story from different perspectives, her father’s, aunts and grandmother, breaking the fourth wall at times to talk to the audience to make them feel what she felt. The message is powerful and emotive. The acting unbelievable! She also enacts the roles of her aunt, father and grandmother. She is a great storyteller and inhabits all the stage. She is expressive with her body, language and overall demeanor. The set although minimalistic is effective. The hanging suit serves as a homage to her father, it has a presence, a spirit of its own and Bo interacts with it. The lighting nuanced and intimate. Christopher Petersen plays the keyboard and he sets the tone for the play, working alongside Bo to curate the story throughout.
Powerful story.
Powerful performer.
Congratulations Royston Stoffels for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.
GANGSTER
We all try. I think that human beings are inherently good but our circumstances and environment dictate our destiny. How can I be like the picture perfect people on my screens when I am primed to be incarcerated. Surrounded by drugs, violence, guns, death and sex. I am hungry, I want to get to the top and there’s no telling what I might do to get there, pushing you under the bus is a small price to pay for the rest of my life. If you stand in between me and my meal ticket, I won’t hesitate smashing you with a bat behind your head leading to your eye popping out the socket onto the floor. I like gangster shit, that’s how you get things done. If they won’t give me what I want then I’ll take it by force with the help of Mr. 9 mm and if you want war, his cousin AK-47 is keeping watch and ready to unload a hail of bullets on your unconscious, lifeless body. There’s an attraction to being a gangster, who wouldn’t want the autonomy of doing what they wanted, to be feared, respected and idolized. Cause gangsters can do anything they want, they can fuck any girl they want, they have all the money, the get preferential treatment, they drive the latest cars, they kill at will and government officials are in their pockets. Gangsters just don’t give a fuck, honorable mention ‘Crazy’ Joe Gallo, he did anything he wanted like kidnapping his bosses without the threat of any repercussion, he just didn’t give a shit, he lived on the darkside, it engulfed his actions, he loved the chaos, he loved being a gangster! Stealing from you is my pleasure and if you make trouble for me I’ll beat you up so bad you’ll start feeding from a straw, that’s if I don’t kill you and your whole offspring. Also, you need to start paying me for protection or your business is going under. I am not interested in the soldiers on the ground, they are disposable and will rat on you to get immunity, I am more interested in high ranking officials of Cosa Nostra like Michael Corloene or being the Capo like Anthony Soprano. They have a code of ethics and values they live by and they won’t hesitate to splatter your brains like tomato juice if you cross the line. Fredo was a stupid and careless Underboss who compromised the future of the family and had to die, he broke a simple code, a simple law known Universally, “the boss is the boss, never outshine the master”.
Everyone rats, police can flip anyone with the promise of immunity and witness protection programs, we saw this on Goodfellas with Henry Hill ratting on all his friends. The look on Jimmy Conway’s face when Henry pointed at him from the stand was one of betrayal but he knows the game, survival triumphs everything. Would you rather serve a 100 years in prison instead? The Godfather and The Sopranos were no different, it seems that the only people who can’t rat on you are the dead ones. The decision to fly in Frank Pentangeli’s brother for the deposition was a masterstroke from Michael Corloene and once again, he saved the family. Pentangeli nearly fucked things for the Corleone family as multiple counts of perjury faced Michael. And despite being Tony’s best friend for a lifetime, Pussy took a deal and conspired to bring Tony Soprano down. He wore wires, leaked information to the authorities and compromised the whole organization. Luckily Tony got to the bottom of it and along with the crew ended Pussy’s life with a hail of bullets. Your best friend of many decades, your family, they will rat on you if it serves their best interests! Being a gangster is all about self-preservation. To be in the game is to understand the stakes, death is on the corner and can happen anytime. You won’t see it too, if you are in a crew nobody’s going to tell you that you are going to get whacked, it just happens. In a world of deceit and ruthlessness paranoia triumphs and it’s easier to take everyone out like on Casino, cause a dead witness can’t say anything. Strictly business, nothing personal. I could be a gangster cause morality doesn’t matter in a Universe where everything ultimately perishes. At least now I benefit, I get the the drugs, fuck bitches, wear quality clothes, drive expensive cars and live in Mansions as big as Tony Montanas. I could paint houses for Russell Buffalino and Jimmy Hoffa following instructions to the smallest detail. I could be a gangster, I am not a 9 to 5 guy, the money is too slow and the hours too long. I’d rather pull the trigger to end your life in a second and make a fortune. I could be a gangster because life is already a game of self-preservation and power struggles, why not play on a professional level? I could be a gangster cause I was born in the hood, I know what happens in the hood, I understand people and what motivates them and I can dominate the hood. I could be a gangster, maybe not a Mob boss or the head of my own Capo but I’ll be the best damn soldier on the ground. I could be a gangster cause Machiavelli taught me its better to be feared than loved and I think he is right. I could be a gangster, I am reasonable, ambitious and a strategist like Vito Corleone, I have it in me to build an empire from the ground up. Killing in cold blood? That’s a small prize to pay for greatness, a war needs casualties and I’d be prepared to make that sacrifice. After all, everybody dies and the deaths would be justified, I am an honorable and fair man. Threats, intimidation and extortion I could be a gangster, my objective is power and the fear from your eyes gives me a rush. I could be a gangster cause they don’t want to give me what’s due to me so I’ll take it! I could be a gangster, cause we all try.
“Wait! Don’t shoot Gangster! I am you and you are me”.
24 HOUR WHORE
I love money. It makes me happy, everything costs something and with money I can buy what I want. I can go shopping, I can spoil my loved ones, I can help out at home and I can buy food to survive. I am a fast money kinda girl and I prefer getting money on my own. I am young and I know how to make it, all I gotta do is watch out for the police. Why do I gotta hand my money to a pimp? Give a nigga a cut for all my hard work to support him and does he support me? Not a 100% cause he got more bitches. The emotions of other bitches, it’s stressful, there’s a lot of emotions and problems, it ain’t worth it, just headaches. You also can’t leave when you want to because the nigga own you and when you try to leave he’ll beat you to a pulp and take your your stuff leaving you in the numbing cold and where you gonna go? You don’t know anybody and you don’t have a place to go. Being with a Pimp, nah, it ain’t worth it. Although you still gotta know how to work a corner, it’s competitive and bitches are sometimes territorial, especially if you are pretty and young, you become a target but most of the time there’s a camaraderie and we stick together. I am happy doing this alone, I don’t need friends, I don’t trust anybody, I prefer to be myself and stick to getting this money. Any girl can do it, you don’t need special traits or a pleasing personality although the latter helps cause they all gullible. One time, a young white girl came up to me saying she hadn’t done this before, I told her to stick with me for the day and in two days she was working the streets on her own. Once is sufficient to have you coming back for more, I see it every time. Cause when you need money and someone give you a $100 note or $120 it feels like a jackpot, like free money because sometimes you ain’t gotta fuck. Some guys just want somebody to talk to so you just offer your ears and be a compassionate soul, some have foot fetishes and just want to suck your toes, like I said jackpot, free money. Still, I can suck your dick for $30.
I am 19 years old now but when I was younger, I would get an excess of $2000 per day. I started off when I was 15 but I was on and off. Being with other girls led me to this profession. I remember a time when I took showers to rush back to the streets. Yes I was a minor but they believed what I told them and best believe I told them I was 18, but it doesn’t matter, they don’t care in any case, they fucked me even though they suspected I was a minor. The guilt made them pay more, $400 or sometimes even more. Young pussy is tighter. Nowadays money gets slower by the day. If I work from 5am I can get $1200 – $1500 on a normal day, $1000 on a slow day. My clients are mostly regulars and they pay $200. I charge them $150 – $200 depending on the client to use my room. I also work the internet. You can get good tips but only if you are not arrogant, be sweet with them, don’t rush him to nut, it’s a process and everyone runs on different schedules. When you are sweet to them, they like you and might ask you for your numbers. I don’t do anything I am uncomfortable with like kissing, like why, you don’t know me, what if I have STD’s, what if you have STD’s? It’s risky, I don’t compromise my life in that manner. I am the sweetest person ever and I don’t do bad things to anyone, I just live my life. I smoke weed but that’s just about it. I come from a nice home, good mother, I have brothers and sisters, everything changed when my father went to jail. I’ve been to jail too for prostitution obviously and that’s where I gave birth to my child. My mother is raising her. They don’t like that I am operating the street but what can they do? I am grown, they couldn’t stop me even when I was a minor. I know what I do is risky and dangerous and that’s why I don’t recommend this to anyone, anything can happen and chaos ensues. These days more and more minors are doing this, I was a minor when I started this, a 24 hour whore doing it every day and at any hour and although I am not a minor anymore, I am still a 24 hour whore. I’ve have never been raped, held at gunpoint or anything like that. The worst thing that has ever happened was getting out of a moving car, it was an attempted kidnap. My skin was grated and I had to go to hospital for a few days but I am still alive. It’s a fucked up attitude that will attract life threatening situations like rape and being held at gunpoint. Also you gotta know how to detect bullshit, your life depends on it. I love myself, what I do doesn’t affect my self-esteem in the least, I love everything about myself, I know I am pretty, I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror, I love my body, my ass and everything about myself. I don’t need anyone else to love me. Cause what is love? How can you believe that someone loves you? Show me you love me. Put me in a better position, buy me a big house, buy me a Rolce Rolls, do something. I don’t want love, I want money and yes, happiness too, because I do want to be happy, life is nothing without happiness. That’s why I don’t like friends, I don’t like associating with other girls because there’s too much drama, all they talk about is pimps, fucking pimps, smoking weed and other drugs but no money! When you are in this industry, you don’t need friends, money is the only thing that matters. I regret not finishing high school but I have it in me to get a degree. This is not going to be my lifestyle forever, when I am in my 20’s, 21 to be precise, I will be where I want to be and I’ll quit.
HEELISH
HEELISH now available on Youtube:
The great man
ANTAKALIPA
antakalipa 