Insignificant

Insignificant

I know I am insignificant, scum, a cockroach, unworthy, tainted, contaminated and rotten to the core. I am a virus that spreads like a cancerous cell to devour the very essence of your existence. I live to consume and leave nothing of substance.  I am a plague that wipes out life. I add nothing, I contribute suffering, I am nothing. I am a bad man, I would decapitate your head from your shoulders if I had the chance, for the fun of it, just because I would, because I was bored, because of the power I have over you. I find it difficult to condemn slavery because I have inhibitions to own and control you. If you were my slave, I’d have my way with you, I’d humiliate you, work you, break you, rape you, cut off your tougue to silence you and when I am done with you, just throw you in the nigger box. How’s God going to save you when his on my side? I am coming for the kikes and the kaffers too. If my bloodline was Aryan, I’d be your chief tormentor. More shots to the head and bigger gas chambers to accommodate you. Who’s going to stop me when I am God? Apartheid and segregation is justified, the kaffers will only taint our snow white skin. They are dangerous and as the chosen race, we must work to put them in their place. I understand the hate because I am a hateful person too. Why do good? How’s that going to benefit me? Don’t tell me about God. Don’t be naive. Where’s your proof? God is the last refuge of a man who doesn’t have any answers. If he exists, how do you justify the suffering? Why am I a pawn in this chess game? Why doesn’t God care about my dignity and pride? Why the humiliation and subjegation to unjustified violence? What about my honor and my humanity? Does this sound like divine providence to you? Maybe I am an animal and it’s time I played my role, killing all these white folks would make my life better. At least my family would be safe and live their lives without bondage. God is dead, his not coming out to save us. I must do this for us, for our survival, for the continuation and progression of our species. God doesn’t care about us and it should liberate us, all is permitted, there are no rules, it’s survival of the fittest. Kill everything in your way even if it’s lord Buddha or Jesus Christ himself. We are all insignificant. Time will bury us in history and we will all be forgotten. Being a humanitarian is a PR stunt, an attempt to control public perception, to deceive, to play God. All of life is a power struggle.

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I could be Hitler II

I could be Hitler II

I could be Hitler. I just can’t help but to connect with him. I think Reading “Mein Kampf” has turned me into a Nazi, I partly agree with his observations and I like some of his ideas. He was idealistic and big picture oriented. The Halocaust was horrible and nothing like that should ever happen again but the Jews do control all the banks, major media companies and just about everything else. Yes, he is biased and hateful but his comments were not slanderous, instead they reflected reality – still do. Does that justify the Halocaust? No, but I understand. Granted if I were born in that era, I wouldn’t have a chance because I would be a “Negro” or “Kafir” to use his term and I would be cast in the same box as the Jew if not lower but what if I were a pure Aryan German? What if I were favored by Hitler and natural selection? What if I were chosen by the Fatherland? What if I were worthy? I imagine it would validate my whole existence.

Chances are I would have been a Nazi, I would have done it for Hitler, he had a magnetic personality and he was charismatic. He was supremely intelligent, passionate, creative and he had a lot of enthusiasm. The story of the growth of the party is amazing, how meticulous he was with the planning, the red color of the posters, the Swastika, the flags, the showmanship, holding meetings at night to lower resistance, deliberate flooding of the streets with blood red posters, the propaganda campaigns and getting the best speakers for the program. He started speaking to a crowd of less than 20 people and through relentless campaigning and hard work moved to venues that could accommodate thousands of people. It wasn’t like the party had ample capital, the party had no financial backing whatsoever, all the money for the posters came from the ticket sales they charged for the entrance. Hitlers magnetic personality attracted people to his ideas, he had a magnificent talent in public speaking and was the head of propaganda for his party. He saw things in colors, symbols, words, visuals and sound. He was sensitive and intuitive. He possessed great taste in all things culture. He was a great leader. I can’t help but to be drawn to Hitler, even before I read the book I was intrigued by him because I’ve always appreciated those creative qualities. I see myself in his ideas and so I can’t rule out genocide. So maybe I am a bad person. I also have evil intentions. I also want world domination and my driving motivation is to be the best. Through that motivation lines might be blurred and I might end up serving my ego leading to narcissistic tendencies. I might be insecure and want to assert my will on a unsuspecting host. I might instigate violence to further my course. I might engage in malevolent acts to prove a point. I don’t think I am better than Hitler, I could be Hitler – everything he possessed, I possess.

So maybe reading “Mein Kampf” is not such a good idea, it might turn you into a Nazi and you don’t want that! Nazis are ostracized by society. Still, I could be Hitler.

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I could be Hitler

I could be Hitler.

Reading Mein Kampf and thinking “Adolf Hitler was not such a bad guy”, because now I hear his voice and his narrative. His interesting. Fine he is petty, small, hateful and has a distain for the Jews. I admit the hate propagated against the Jew is extraordinary. Still I understand. I am not making an excuse for what the Nazis did, the Halocaust was horrible! It is by far the greatest crime to humanity. But I could be Adolf Hitler, I am not better than Adolf Hitler. What if I was born into that time and surrounded by that culture. What if War was a reality and death around the corner? What if I served for my country and watched us sacumb on the final hurdle? What if we were humiliated by the allies and our comrades died for nothing? What if death and freedom weren’t intellectual concepts? I connect with Hitlers speech and tone throughout the first volume, he has a enthusiasm that is boundless and a attitude that is energetic. He is hopeful throughout the struggles, poverty, hunger, troubles, pains and uncertainty of the future, it is like he is chasing destiny. He is driven, he is passionate. He doesn’t have a victim-mentality. He is the change he wants to see. In his eyes, he serves something that is bigger than him – God. This makes him strong and durable, it makes him unstoppable! In the first War he gets blinded by tear gas and asks God to restore his eyesight so he can continue serving his will. When his eyesight is restored, he takes that as a sign, maybe he is the one. Let’s not forget that he served on the first guard, witnessing his fellow comrades die was the norm, he enlisted with a lot of men who never lived to tell their story. He escaped bullets and death daily fighting for his love – the Fatherland, you cannot deny his love for Germany.

I could be Hitler, he was open-minded, artistic and creative. The Swastika was his idea, the graphics, the color, what it mean’t and what it stood for. He loved art and he was a painter. Architecture was his passion and he had a talent in public speaking. Everything about that connects to me, I feel it, I understand, I am all of that! I could be Hitler, I want power, I want to be worshipped, I want control, I want to dominate people’s will, it would validate my existence and make me feel good. I know I am narcissistic, name one person who isn’t. The content he has brought in the world by being Adolf Hitler is amazing, his life was meaningful. History is fed with Hitler stories and all the lessons, history will forever remember Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler was all of humanity’s shadow manifested on a grand stage with high stakes. He was right, he was the chosen one and God’s hand was active. Even the malevolence, death and destruction was a part of the grand plan for humanity like Noah with his ark. Hitler is Jesus with flawed morality and deadly biases. Still, I could be Hitler, I have a lot of ideas on how we can create the perfect German whose athletic and has blue eyes. I have ideas on how we can create the perfect propaganda campaign and my Gas Chambers would fit in more Jews. I too could easily put to sleep permanently the disabled – they serve no utility to Germany. Germany loves Hitler, they are proud of him to this day, he is their icon like Nelson Mandela, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. I could be Hitler, I am not pure. I am dangerous, unpredictable and have what it takes to kill in cold blood. I can distance myself from situations and so genocide wouldn’t give me sleepless nights. I am a human being and I am heavily flawed, I am grandiose, egotistical, repressed, I don’t trust easily, I get jealous, I get insecure, I feel hate and anger – who knows what might happen?

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Everyone thinks they’re right

Everyone thinks they’re right

Everyone thinks they’re right and in the process we lose our humanity and further surpress our mortality. We forget to love one another and act justly. Even Adolf Hitler thought he was right and he thought that he was going to live forever. He justified the atrocities that transpired in the 20th century to God. He vilified the Jews so much and propagated hate that everything he said made sense. He got supporters. The world fell under his hypnotic frame and genocide became accepted. It’s the same thing with white supremist groups like the KKK and slavery, everyone thinks they’re right and it also makes sense too. In elevating our status we demean the statuses of others and come to see them as weak, we believe we are superior, better, chosen and that we are going to live forever. The hate becomes our refuge and it protects us from the injustices of the world namely that life is suffering and there is no apparent reason for this suffering, so we commit more suffering since that creates some sort of meaning and justifies our existence. The thought that perhaps God doesn’t care about us is unbearable but we entertain it since if God doesn’t exist then all is permitted. Everyone thinks they’re right and there’s always a feedback loop that justifies their findings. Kaffers are dangerous and apartheid fair, while the negro is genetically built to serve his master, the white slaver. Jews are corrupt to the core and spread this plague like a virus throughout the world. Everyone thinks they’re are right and God is always on their side. I learned it’s not important to be right, in fact I don’t want to be right. I’d much rather be wrong and make my way up, as long as there’s breath in my lungs I have a chance to be less wrong. I want to be a good man and have love in my heart. My time is limited and so I meditate on that so I can practice my humanity and make the world a bit better than I found it. My mortality haunts me but it motivates me to be kind, loving and a good person. I don’t want to be right, I want to be just.

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