Where do I even start? How do I begin to express myself? What do I even say? I don’t think words alone are sufficient for me attain your numbers four you are 1 in 500 000.
I am sorry, I don’t mean to be cheesy and I am not using Cheddar to try and lure you in a trap for I am well aware you run the streets and the underground.
The beautiful thing about the bottom is the sky is what you taught me, you believe in love, happiness and you just make my heart beat. Faster is an adjective to describe how time moves when I am with you. A lapse in time is an eternity in rue.
My beautiful 100 hectares our souls are intertwined, bonded by something more than science. Every time I try and leave my heart screams out in defiance. Or is it just psychological warfare?
My mind is fountained by thoughts of you and the memories we shared. You are the cannonball splash that makes every woman and man wet. Dripping with authenticity, sparkling like wine, your volatile personality erupts like oil in a mine.
My beautiful 100 hectares, you hold the route to my soul. Our minds like clay can be moulded and created by the artist. Modify me to a plane so I can soar above you, to see the world, explore and make my way like a monarch butterfly.
My beautiful 100 hectares contain me in a bigger box, with space to move around and windows without bars. Bar me from suffering so I can make the world a better place. The world can be our oyster- the world can be our plate. All I need is a reservation and I promise I won’t be late.
Magnificent Goddess I am sorry, I apologize. I am not usually like this. It’s just that, I have always believed in following what shines brightest to you. But that never works in real life. I take everything back. For insinuating you whack could forcefully put me to the sack. For you are the Jack of all trades, the enforcer of every raid and up there with the greats.
My beautiful 100 hectares walk tall, with stiletto heels that were custom made for your feet. You are the authoritative figure, illuminate us with your beauty like a street light. For you are more exhilarating than a street fight, a sight more breath-taking than the eclipse at night.
My beautiful 100 hectares, you created matrixes’- worlds, in which we could create characters for ourselves. On Friday, I am Zlatan, on Saturday Messi and success is determined by the number of times I put the ball between legs. The dangers and repercussions usually nutmeg our untrained clay minds but it’s worth it. For in the weekend, I am free.
My beautiful 100 hectares, I think I have the formula for life. It was blurry at first but I got better lenses and changed the orientation of the page. My hope often withers like autumn and in that moment it’s cold and windy. But I am comforted by the fact that I come home to you. For you are warm, funny, carefree and happy.
The world is already this big matrix that I will never explore. My life is already on auto-pilot Just as long as, I have my Television set, my smartphone and my weekends, I will be okay.
My first day in a new school Grade 7 Edleen Primary, I met this other kid who was also new. His name Mondli, we seemed to get along quite good. We were paired in the same class and we formed a friendship. Mondli was a great guy, genuine guy, he was into hip-hop and he could Krump! That was so HUGE back then! Although new, his Krumping made him popular in the school. Plus he was from Tembisa so he was relatively known. No one fucked with Mondli because he won’t hesitate to fuck you up! Trust me, he wasn’t no bitch. He was a new kid but only on paper, everybody knew who he was. My ties were all new. I was in uncharted territory, one could even say a foreigner. Me and Mondli became good friends. I liked him, he was always so good to me and he was talented. He was my link to how the kids in a new territory operated. I learned early on that I shouldn’t be timid or these new kids would take advantage of me. People needed to know that I wasn’t no pussy and that I could hold my own. So early in the first term, I fucked up some kid named Kleinboy who tested my frame. It wasn’t my intention to beat up the kid but he initiated everything and worse there were eyes looking. If I back down, I am doomed forever! I had to get my hands dirty. I fucked him up, perfect. You see he didn’t know I had ties in Gomora and I could fight, he thought I was some cheeseboy – big mistake Kleinboy. Poor kid, after I fucked him up he was sent to the principal’s office for initiating the fight. My stock grew after that fight and no one fucked with me again. I was worthy of chilling with Mondli.
Mondli being a cool kid and all contemplated of purchasing a new bag in the second-term. He wanted a Kerimore. Truthfully speaking, I don’t even know the bag hence my spelling is so off. He told me the bag cost R1200, I was appalled. However he was deadly serious. On the day he was supposed to purchase the bag, he couldn’t find it so he settled and bought a “Red Mountain” bag. I didn’t know what it was but it was a cool bag. I didn’t care much about bags but that “Red Mountain” bag was awesome – period! He was one of the few people in school at the time who had a “Red Mountain” and his peers were envious. Still, he expressed his disappointment to me for not getting the Kerimore bag, I still didn’t know what a Kerimore was. Then one day, we saw a kid from Sir Pierre High School with a Kerimore bag and he pointed it to me. I was confused. It looked like his “Red Mountain” bag exactly! I am not even exegerating – they looked the same! The only difference was the branding. That interaction seemed to only compound Mondli’s disappointment. So after two weeks of purchasing that “Red Mountain” bag, he decided he wanted another bag. He told me that he saw this cool “Nike” bag that cost R900 and that he would buy it. I thought he was kidding but the next week he bought it. That’s not all, he gave me his “Red Mountain” bag! It was basically new! He had only used that “Red Mountain” bag for 2-3 weeks! I couldn’t believe it, I was grateful and I thanked him. Before the “Red Mountain” bag, I had this huge bag that had wheels – yes, unfortunately I was that kid. But now I had a “Red Mountain” bag. In just one move, Mondli elevated my status to a cool kid. I will always love Mondli for that! That guy’s love for me was genuine. I used that “Red Mountain” bag until the 9th grade in high school. True, I used it sparingly in High school but it lasted that long – for 3 years! Mondli and I attended the same High School, I still had my “Red Mountain” bag while his Nike bag was a dinosaur. In fact he couldn’t even remember it anymore.
Mondli’s last contribution in my life was Senzile. In the 8th grade, he saw her and lost his mind! His the guy I am talking about on the “Senzile” post. Now do you understand Senzile’s significance in my life? Senzile is linked to Mondli Tshabalala and hence she will forever be perfect. Mondli Tshabalala was the best! Thank you God, Universe for that wonderful interaction. I am eternally grateful.
The Universe has been telling me to change my ways but I’ve been too steady and complacent. It’s my fault, I deserve the robbery. It was a typical Friday and I had on my SpongeBob shirt, my awesome silver Cassio watch, my neck beeds and my classic “Champion” jacket. In my pocket I had my keys and my Mint cellphone. It was a signature great day. I went to my friend’s which is a 18-24 minutes walk and we had a great time. At around 1 o’clock in the morning, I decided that I want to go home, I was tired. So I walked back home. I know it’s irresponsible to walk home so late especially in Alex, Gomora but I’ve been doing this for years. Plus I don’t think I would be robbed, hurt or killed. You see the most important thing is the walk, it is your posture, your steps, you have to project a confident aura and no one will fuck with you. Your shoulders must be broad and open, make that alpha walk an inherent part of you. Look like you might do shit! That’s what I learned and it has served me well thus far. Plus, I have Inside knowledge, I chill with niggas who rob and steal at the corners. The insight I’ve gained is that niggas are hungry, I can relate, they don’t want trouble, in fact they are good guys, they don’t want to hurt anybody, they just want your possessions so they can flip them. It’s that simple, they are professionals conducting a transaction, I can appreciate that, I understand. It is Darwins survival of the fittest, they don’t have much options, go for the weakest prey. I made myself a target. No one is born with hate in their hearts, the truth is that we all need to do what we can to make it through. This is true for everyone in the world and so everybody can relate. Besides if you are dumb enough to walk alone in the AMs of the morning, you probably deserve it. You are passive and comfortable. You think life is a given, the Universe needs to shake you up. That’s what happened to me.
For the record, I don’t think I’m passive and comfortable, I just feel that there’s nothing that I can’t do. I live life with no fear. I feel that there’s nothing I can’t handle and I do what I want. Besides niggas bleed just like you so I am not scared of anybody. If you are going to win, win because you have a better hand. They had a better hand. I was walking alone in the dark, the place was quiet as a graveyard. If you had dropped a pin the sound would be audible. My strides were long and fast paced. Then out of nowhere 3 guys appeared in front on me. One guy approached me and cocked his gun. The sound was cold and metallic. “cling-cling”. It was death appearing like a bad dream and I was lucid. I stopped but I was unfazed. I was trapped. I was under their control. I was calm, everything was just surreal. I knew what they wanted. I understood their mentality. I decided to cooperate and give them what they wanted, it wasn’t like I had a choice. The guy with the gun was like: “we got you now, you didn’t think this day was coming didn’t you, welcome to hell” but in vernacular. Another guy came up to me and started searching me to the third guys demands. I was still cool, undeterred, not bothered, I accepted the situation for what it was. To be honest, I knew that this day had to come sometime. I was relaxed, they got nothing of me in terms of emotions, I was blank as a canvas. They instructed me to keep walking forward while they searched me and so I did for a while. They took my phone, my keys and my watch and so I stopped walking. As if to signal, enough guys you have everything, now can I go back to my life? I was still in control, they can’t deny me of my will. As I stopped, they stopped, that’s when I realized my power and saw weakness on theirs. They were accident murderers, you know, shook one’s. I didn’t challenge them because they might hurt me to prove their dominance but I was superior. Niggas is reckless when they have power in their hands. One bad move or misplaced comment and ‘Bang Bang’. So relax. My control of the situation was subtle. Being passive and listening to their demands gave them the illusion of power. When I asserted myself, they didn’t know what to do because I had cooperated at first, plus they already had my phone, watch and keys so it wasn’t worth it. As I stopped walking and listening to their demands, they guy dictating the robbery said, “take that Champion jacket too.” I was shattered. They took it off me and all that mental superiority evaporated like steam. I felt helpless as a new born baby. After they took my jacket, I just left because I still had my pride. I didn’t let them dismiss me, I didn’t give them that power, they never had that power. All they had was a tool that helped facilitate the reposition process more effectively, that’s it. It was a professional encounter, they took my valuables, no one was hurt, the process was smooth and everybody was happy. I was happy too because I got to test myself in a high pressure situation and it didn’t get to me. It was like I was above the whole situation like Jesus when he walked on water. It was a stress test and I passed with flying colors. I was patient with them. I read the situation, their body language, their mannerisms and followed the cues. I learned that emotional intelligence is everything because we are all emotional creatures. Moreover for them because their lives are dictated by the amygdala, fear and survival makes up their reality. I learned that love triumphs fear. Have humility. Be soft, yield, be like water and move with the waves, anything other than that is counterproductive. Be present to people’s emotions and mannerisms so you can at least have a chance to guide the ship. I don’t blame them because they are my brothers and I love them, I understand. Life is difficult and on that day I was the sucker who made their excursion worth it. Overall it was a successful robbery like the last scene of “Pulp Fiction” and I am Samuel L. Jackson.
It helps being minimalist because the things they took are not worth much in terms of monetary value but sentimentally they meant everything to me. I transferred a lot of emotions to my watch, jacket and cellphone. Kalushi gave me that Cassio watch with a lot of love. It represents friendship and our pure entrepreneurial drive when we started our farm with big plans and dreams in mind. He is a good friend and I feel they took his spirit away from me. My cellphone was 6 years old, KG, a legend, one of the best people I know recommended that I buy that cellphone back in 2015. It was such a deal! A steal really. It cost R100 and it had Bluetooth, radio, internet, mp3 and had a 4gb memory card. Back then a 4gb memory card alone cost R80! But for R100 I got a phone with all those features and a memory card. It makes sense that Kg was the one who spotted that deal because his a legend and that deal was so legendary. It feels like they took the wisdom of Kg away from me. And my “Champion” jacket was bought in the 1990’s in London. It belonged to my father. It was vintage and so cool, I loved it, it was my favorite jacket, it somehow toppled my leather jacket. They took a gift that was hereditary, something with value and substance. I am gutted but that’s life for you and as you grow up things get taken away from you. This forsters growth and the opportunity to evolve because change is the only permanent thing. I am grateful for the experience, I know it’s all God’s plan. This is to make me better. I am happy it happened because now I get to reflect and concoct a way forward. There’s a beauty in seeing life as a blessing, a gift.
I was hungry. I sent some kid playing on the street to buy me a Kota, except that we don’t call it that here in Gomora, it’s “Sly wat-wat” but we just call it Sly. And it’s 2-3 slices of bread instead of the quarter bread. Inside the sandwich are your usual Kasi champions: Chips, Polony, Archar Special, Cheese, Vienna, Russian, Egg. I gave this kid R20 bucks. A couple of minutes later, he came back with my sly and change. I was worried, why did I have change? I requested him to stay a bit while I searched the contents of this Sly. As I feared no Chesse, no Egg and catastrophically no Russian. Just Chips, Polony, Special & Archar. I told him to keep it and gave him the R8 change as well. It’s your lucky day kid, enjoy! I can’t live life without no Cheese. That’s not what I see when I look in the mirror. At least have some Cheese nigga, damn, that’s the bare minimum. I went to 5th Avenue, Johnbrant, “Ko Chef”, I bought “Dj Black Coffee”. It had Chips, Polony, Special, Cheese, Archar, Russian & Egg. “That’s more like it”, I thought. You have to eat like a real man. Don’t settle for a meal with no cheese.
antakalipa 