God ain’t never done nothing for me, every day I wake up I am in the same hell. Surrounded by soul sucking demons that drain me off my energy. The same cheographed movement lacking any synergy. Always on my knees praying for things to get better, the silence is deafening it’s like I don’t matter. The resurrection of christ, please, next time he come around I am gonna kick him in the balls! Busy walking on water but he never answers my calls. Don’t be so appalled, what did he ever do for you? How you feature in a program when you have been blackballed. God doesn’t care about me. Every day is the same suffering. Living in a world that’s ruled by tyrants and my significance is interchangeable like another bitch with a wedding ring. Nothing matters, consciousness persistent, we all die, the one thing that’s consistent. God has better things to do, so your life sucks, what’s a God gotta do? He gave you life, don’t be so ungrateful, show some strife. Nietzsche hypothesized God is dead and it has become rife. What are you going to do with your miserable life? We have killed him with our greed and selfishness, now what remains is a society that’s Godless. Maybe he was just a fabrication of the mind, a way to shield ourselves from the horrors that happen outside. We are a horrible race, he could never be on our side. We in this thing together and yet we still picking sides. What kind of sick God would permit this to happen? The widespread hunger and the molestation of our children. The wars in the west and children baring children. God was never alive, Earth is a Godless state. All is permitted, you can get away with it if you have power, the head of state is the one who towers, above everything, in all hours. That’s who created God and made him ours. God helped us shape our preconceived narratives, when the truth is much simpler, nothingless, decay, entropy, destruction.
I am convinced that God is a comedian. Life was never meant to be serious. We humans complicate the process. We desire, we envy and postpone the present for an hypothetical future. We suffer more in imagination than reality. We love the illusion of control, we insist on micromanagement, we hold tight and firm to our preconceived notions, we want things to happen our way. God laughs because much of what happens is spontaneous. No one knows anything real about life. Even the term “real” attempts to make sense of what just is, an impossibility, that’s like biting your own teeth. Life is obsurd, no one has the answers, if someone had a cheat code then the game wouldn’t be worth playing anymore. How can you take serious what dissappears right before your eyes. I once had a girl who professed feelings of love towards me. I asked her are you serious or are you playing with me? She said she was serious and I was disappointed because I wanted her to play with me. Who wants a serious girlfriend? She be clinging on to me, suffocating my space, preserving me out of insecurity and controlling my perception of reality. Nah babygirl relax, calm down, it’s not my responsibility to make you happy, you must do that for yourself and then we will be happy together. I am not your world, get the fuck outta here! I am amazed with the mind games that people play on a daily, the sly manipulations and gaslighting to get you to do their bidding for them. Don’t get me wrong, I know that people control and manipulate me everyday, some tactics I see like the marketing and advertising that’s prevalent around me, some manipulations are paternal, they have been happening ever since I was born, some manipulations are to control frames to make sense of our interactions in the world cause somebody has to be passive and compliant to have a successful interaction, two alpha wannabes interacting won’t get you far. I love when women attempt to manipulate, the crocodile tears and the victim mentality, I always laugh, oh you a good actress but overt manipulations don’t work on me. Life is funny, it’s play. It’s not a coincidence that people who are successful in life do what they love, it’s not work for them, it’s play, they get to do what they love everyday and there is a glow about them, they are shining stars, they are fulfilled, they are happy. It’s play, they dance for the sake of dancing. The musicians, they play music. To play with no end game in mind, that’s the purpose of life. There’s a contrast in people who work and not play in their professions, they can’t wait for the day to be over, they are absent-minded, they postpone their happiness, they live in the future, their present sucks. You see it with all the serious professions like defence, your soldiers, crippled by PTSD and living life with paranoia. The need to be serious all the time, they are not happy. Why would you want to be serious all the time? That’s not life. It’s so unfortunate because the present is all we ever have, to deny it, is to deny your life.
Life is play, everyday is an opportunity to do what you want, to engage in what you love, to be around people who enhance the quality of your life. There’s wisdom in “YOLO” which translates to you only life once. You have to take play seriously! That’s why we get together with the gents, buy 48 Corona, 2 bottles of Hennessey, smoke Chronic to set the mood and the whole day is on autopilot. We play, we have fun, we connect, we live in the moment that’s now. It’s counterproductive to be with people who don’t share your values, people who you don’t see eye to eye with, the playing experience won’t be optimal. It’s a waste of life. Why would you want to be with someone you don’t want to play with. The rules of play are governed by two simple rules, respect and reciprocity, it’s give and take, give pleasure to receive pleasure. Simple cause and effect, that’s how you know it’s truthful. Albert Camus once said the real question of life is to whether to commit suicide or not. Why would you want to play if the activity doesn’t give you pleasure? 9 to 5 working a job you hate for a boss who treats you like crap and doesn’t like you. The pay is horrible and you can’t even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore. Isn’t it wise to end the game? The location is already pre-determined, death. No one can escape it, everyday you move closer to it, it calls out your name and the sound rebounds like an echo until time. We take life way too seriously when it’s already determined, a formality. Why? What for? You won’t survive it, even if you live longer, you won’t survive it. Life is play, every day is play, you are the Universe experiencing itself, you are not separate from it, you are it like everything around you, you are just a different expression, live your life, you choose how to live it, play, be happy, don’t be too serious, life is not serious. Play, be in the process. Love the process. Do the things that you love and be with the people you love. Play, be like a child in the moment, be immersed in the present, block out the external world, people’s thoughts about you, they don’t matter, they never have, the only thing that matters is what you think about yourself, play, find flow, laugh, be silly, feel the wet grass from under your feet, run, explore, be yourself, find the expression that’s truest for you, embrace your individuality, play, be all that you can be.
It seems as though Science has proved the existence of God. A statement that Stephen Hawkins would disagree with however it’s in plain sight. I will explain. Existence came about a big bang that created space and time. Science explains that the big bang just happened – that it came out of nowhere. Okay, fair enough however that big bang created a vacuum and the existence of the universe and life is contained in that vacuum of space and time. What surrounds that vacuum of space and time is nothing. Pure nothingness. We cannot comprehend that “nothingness” because we are in this vacuum of space and time. Human beings cannot sit for an hour without being distracted by their smartphones; what is an hour to forever. It is clear an entity outside space and time created the universe. The bible states that God is abstract and all around. It states that God is formless and forever – that is to say exempted from time and space. There is no time outside the Universe, no space – it’s just nothing. Seems like a beautiful canvas for God to put his paint brush on don’t you think? Human beings we are terribly limited, we are not intelligent enough, we rely on our senses which are not reliable, we are vulnerable and we die. Is there an afterlife? Since I am propagating God’s existence, I will answer in the affirmative. My main argument being the transcendence of consciousness and near death experiences. I read studies by Dr. Jeffery Long who is an author and leading researcher on the subject of Near Death Experiences. He has devoted his life to the subject of NDE and has surveyed and interviewed thousands of participants who experienced NDE. What he concluded from these interviews and studies is that NDE patients usually experience a transcendence of consciousness meaning that they temporarily exit or harbor above their bodies and are able to see everything despite the fact that they are clinically dead. They also report that they feel peace and see a light that they enter into. Entrepreneur and Rapper, Curtis Jackson aka 50 Cent also encountered a Near Death Experience when he got shot 9 times. On the way to the hospital, 50 was clinically dead and interestingly enough he also reported that he was separated from his body and could see everything despite the fact that he was unconsciousness.
Our culture is proficient in articulating Near Death Experiences. You see this displayed on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows when “The Dark Lord” Voldemort kills Harry Potter with the Death Curse spell. At that moment, Harry Potter dies and separates from his body. He walks into a white light and everything crystalizes as he sees himself on a train station. He meets Dumbledore, a late friend and mentor and they converse for a while. Harry is made aware of his options. He can stay there with Dumbledore and experience peace forever or he can go back into the real world and defeat “The Dark Lord”. Harry chooses the latter and rejoins his body. Typically, it is the route of all patients who experience NDE. They walk into a light and experience peace and then they converse with a “Guardian Angel” who helps them find their way. The aftereffects of patients who have experienced NDE are groundbreaking, unbelievable – amazing! The aftereffects are met with a drastic change in personality and outlook on life. There is greater appreciation for life, a greater compassion for others, a heightened of purpose and self-understanding, a desire to learn more and an elevated spirituality – some might say that it is Gods touch. It is comically represented on the hit cartoon show “Regular Show” when Rigby’s body quits on him. Rigby eats so much junk food that his body can’t take it anymore – the body forcefully separates Rigby’s consciousness out of its constrains and runs away. When Rigby finally reunites with his body, he vows to never mistreat it again – this behavior is typical of a person who has experienced a Near Death Experience. NDE is a useful phenomenon as it suggests that the world is metaphysical as Plato and Socrates hypothesized. It validates God’s existence and makes a point for true world destinations – who knows maybe there is a heaven.
Ancient Mesopotamian religions take on the reality of things is interesting and I want to explore that. Before the world and universe existed; there existed, Gods Tiamat who is known as the Goddess of Chaos and Apsu the husband of Tiamat. They created a union, which was sexual (creative) and gave birth to the World of gods. Shortly after the creation of the World of gods. Apsu, the great king, the husband of Tiamat dies. He leaves Tiamat who is known as the goddess of chaos alone. Tiamat is feminine energy. She represents what is unknown – she represents chaos. Now that the great king of Order Apsu is dead, the cosmos is met with instability. The cosmos is now surrounded and run by chaos which is feminine energy. The World of Gods that was conceived by the great king Apsu and the Goddess of Chaos Tiamat is ran by their son – Marduk. As the son of Apsu, Marduk represents Order and he brings about order in his world. Seeing this order, Tiamat imposes herself and serves as a threat that wants to diminish this order. Marduk challenges Tiamat and defeats her – indoctrinating order and chaos in the world. To live in the world of the gods now meant that you were in point A, what is, the unbearable present and going to point B, what should be, the ideal future. To get to the ideal future, you have to go through chaos and triumph. It is the ideology of the hero. The hero makes himself out of the chaos. Chaos strengths him and keeps him focused. A hero explores unchartered territory which is chaotic and instills order. The hero conquers chaos to triumph.
This is seen every day in the world we inherited from the Gods. Rapper Jermaine Cole affectionately known as J. Cole is the perfect example of a hero conquering the unknown. As a young boy Jermaine always wanted to be a rapper. He envisioned himself as the greatest. However, his dreams didn’t align with his present. The present was hard and unbearable. He came from a small town that no one in the world knew existed. The town didn’t have notable heroes and crime was rife. To compound matters, he was raised by a single mother who had abusive partners – resulting in her mother resorting to drugs. Jermaine understood that his only chance was school and so he got good grades and was offered a scholarship to go study in New York. In New York, he endured a lot. He was alone and he was often broke. However, he survived and fought for his dream to be a Rapper. He forced things and by chance met his idol Jay – Z and asked him to listen to his mixtape. Jay –Z shunned the young Jermaine. That didn’t deter the young Jermaine Cole who kept on working hard on all fronts of his life. He was often in survival mode. Broke, studying, working piece jobs and at the same time actively pursuing his dream to be a Rapper. Two years later after he was shunned by Jay- Z, he received a call from the big man who was interested in signing him. Jermaine Cole had done it, he had conquered New York City. He had attained a degree and was signed to Jay –Z’s Rocnation. He had realized his dreams. He was fulfilled. He explored unchartered territory and made it familiar – he made it his own, he dominated it. He showed characteristics of the hero. He triumphed against chaos to get to his dreams. He had a great future. Interestingly, he often referred to himself as Simba in his songs. Simba is a fictional character in the story “The Lion King” who is the son of the great king Mufasa. After his father’s death, Scar the brother of Mufasa forces Simba to retreat so he can become king of Pride Rock. Scars inauguration signals chaos in the animal kingdom and puts an imbalance in the ecosystem of most life forms. After a hiatus, Simba comes back to defeat Scar and restores order to the animal king. Simba is the hero. He is the slayer of chaos. He is the archetypal son – like Marduk.
Another example of the archetypal son as the hero can be found in Egyptian mythology. In a battle for order (to be king) brothers Set and Osiris engaged in war. Set wins this battle and cuts his brother (Osiris) into multiple pieces before scattering these pieces underground. Set therefore wins the battle of order – he becomes the king. The underground which represents chaos is occupied by Isis. Isis recuperates the pieces of Osiris and assembles him again. Isis makes herself pregnant from the pieces of Osiris. From the pregnancy, Horus is born. Horus comes out from the underground to battle his uncle Set and wins. This made Horus the divine son of order and chaos. After the battle with Set, Horus went underground and devoured his father Osiris. He did this so they could be one, so he can restore order in the world with his father. Horus is the archetypal son, the hero, the restorer of order – the great god. This Egyptian tale is great for goal directed behavior. The notion that you can build yourself with pieces on the ground to create something greater. Isis reminds us that defeat is only temporarily, that if you can navigate your way through chaos you will be a king. Horus is Simba the archetypal son who saves the world from chaos. Horus is Jesus Christ, the hero of humankind.
The world, reality is Ying Yang. It is order and chaos. We are always in a place of insufficiency aiming for better or the best. The world is explored territory and unexplored territory. It is the hero and the adversary. It is order and tyranny. It is destruction and creation. It is exploration and repression. The world is divided into two and it seems we have the luxury of choice. If you want a life of self-actualization and realization you need to identify with the hero. The life of the hero is the only way to live. It is specifically and custom made for you – the individual. It requires that you turn unexplored territory into explored. It requires that you step out of your comfort zone. It requires that you build yourself out of external forces to propel yourself into greatness. It requires a thirst for life. It requires fight. It requires you being uncomfortable. How do you live the life of the hero? By following the things that have meaning for you. By paying attention to the structure of your being. By following the things that manifest themselves as interesting to you. Egyptians worshipped the human eye because they understood that it was the thing that paid attention. There is a game in the Harry Potter franchise called Quidich and how you win that game is by following this golden snitch that beckons all around. The golden snitch is so fast in its movements that it is almost impossible to detect it with your eyes. The golden snitch requires special attention and a “seeker” from either team is assigned to retrieve it. The golden snitch requires someone of great focus, someone with great determination, someone who is creative and is willing to do anything to get it. The golden snitch represents chaos and the one who retrieves the snitch wins the match for his team because he has instilled order. The message of the game of Quidich is simple; follow what you are interested in, it will be difficult sure, it will hell of course, but it will make you a better person. A person with character and strength. A hardened, knowledgeable machine who is self-sufficient and confident. The life of the hero will make life bearable. The life of the hero will give you control. The life of the hero will make you great. God is alive and you honor him by being the best that you can be. You honor him by approaching great uncertainty and making it a certainty. You honor God by instilling order in your life.
Never be afraid, approach action with boldness, be comfortable in being uncomfortable, fight, discover uncharted territory, identity with the hero, bring order to chaos, be masculine energy to the feminine, bring light to the night, discover the unknown and conquer nihilism with your dreams and goals. Don’t let anyone deter you. God is on your side. God is being at peace with yourself. God is manifesting your talents. God is you. God is everything you touch and do. Identity with the archetypal son, be Horus, Jesus, Spiderman, be Neo on the matrix, the one – be yourself and explore!
Would I be an Adolf Hitler or a Josef Stalin or Mao? Would I be the person credited for almost ending the world if I had absolute power? Am I a good person or am I evil? Am I in control of my actions or just a puppet stringed along in this parody of a play called life? Is there such a thing called freewill? Is there such a thing called freedom? Am I really conscious? Do I really have thoughts or I am just deluded and everything I know comes from culture and mythology. Do I have it in me to kill in cold blood? To take away existence, confiscate the human soul out of its confines? Do I have faith? Do I believe in God, myself? Am I terrified of death? Can I put my trust in man? Do I have a hatred of life? Would torturing a human being bring me pleasure? Do I love myself? Am I happy? Would I kill my brother and rape my sister? Would I starve millions to make a point? Would I blame others for my inadequacies? Am I the image of God or extremely flawed? Is this all of life; the trees, mountains, seas and the sky? What is the end goal of life? Is it the continual suffering of mankind as stated in religion, mythology and philosophy? Is life worth it? Isn’t ending it mercy? After all consciousness is a disease one that will plague humankind till its doom.
I am intrigued with the subject of bad and evil – the subject of morality. For years religion has been the driver of instilling morality in society. It contrasted “good” with evil very vivid with the fabrication of heaven and hell. It is a very sophisticated analogy. Heaven is a utopia, a place where suffering is not permitted. While Hell is a place of torment and demons that eat you alive. Life is energy and religion teaches us to practice things that have a high positive energy level. Things that are good for the continual species of man. Religion teaches reason, regulation of impulses and emotions, self-actualization and most importantly love and peace. These ideas or topics calibrate at a high conscious level, they build the soul and make life bearable – they take you to heaven. On the other side of the coin, it depicts a picture of evil. On the tale of Cain and Able, the bible depicts evil as a cancer cell that starts slow and gradually, undetected it multiply like compound interest ultimately consuming all of your soul. Evil is bad. Evil is not conducive. It makes life wither. It operates at a negative energy life. It is hidden and life threatening like the thief in the night. The story of Cain and Able is a very interesting. Cain and Able are the first humans in the world; they come from Adam and Eve while Adam and Eve were created by God. It is because of that, that I can relate better with Cain and Able considering that I am also human. The story tells the tale of how Cain killed his brother Able, because he was favored by God. Cain killed Able to spite God, to hurt God, he killed everything he wanted to be (his brother) to spite the world and it was a conscious action. Rejected by God on a constant, Cain was hurt and he started being conscious of how he felt. Knowing how he felt was the realization and consciousness that he could hurt the world, God and he did it because evil had consumed his soul. Was he wrong to do it? What criteria are we using? Objectively sure because killing another human being is wrong. However, subjectively how can we be sure? Everyone has a little evil in his soul? Cain’s evil just grew. Everyone has the capacity to kill. Before we can give the verdict we need to understand Cain on a subjective level because often truth is subjective. Didn’t God let down Cain?
Morality like Justice is a hard thing to factor in. Simply because we are human beings, navigating this world and our nature is not known to us. We don’t know what consciousness is and we are always in auto-pilot. Yes, we can stop for a while and contemplate for a while about the world and the events transpiring all around us. However those are not our thoughts, they come from the world, they come from the books that we have read, the movies we have seen, the music we hear, from religion, from philosophy, from academic institutions, the tales our families tell us – in a nutshell culture, we have no original thoughts – everything in the world is always getting refreshed and rebooted to meet our current stance – that’s if you have the right frequency and energy needed to merge with what’s in the world. The world is feminine energy – chaotic! Hidden to us like the reproductive organs of a female and maybe that’s why need we objective criteria to serve as order. However, we are deluding ourselves. We are all hypocrites. After all, If I had absolute power in Germany with the backing of the SS, at the back of World War one when Germany suffered greatly, In a period where War and invading other countries was the norm and with my specific make-up and how I grew up; maybe I could have been Adolf Hitler. Instigating war and killing people to prove that I am the ultimate alpha. Torturing people and experimenting with them like Guinea pigs. Propagating Propaganda because of my denial of death and attempts at immortality. Maybe I could have been Hitler invading other countries and killing its people. Spreading tyranny and fear with terrorism and death. Imposing my ideas on the world and killing Jews for my entertainment. With absolute power, what would I not do? We all have a little Hitler in ourselves. Maybe I would have been Hitler had I been born in the age that he was born into, had I experienced everything that he experienced as a boy, maybe I would have been Hitler had I been in the Socialist party. I could have been Hitler, a bad man, an evil man in the objective criteria of the world. He is a bad man, an evil man because he violated people. He stripped people off their dignity, of their manhood. He experimented on people and tortured them while they were still alive. He killed people. The thing that makes you a good person is empathy and sympathy. Hitler did not have that and I can conclude that he was a bad man, an evil man.
The topic of good and bad is a difficult one because when is good bad or bad good? Is it definite like math or infinite like numbers? The beauty of the tales in the bible is that they can be interpreted in a million views. I don’t think Cain is bad or evil. He committed a bad and evil crime but considering he is human, he can be saved and redeemed. He killed Able because he operated on the lower levels of consciousness. Fortunately when you are down, the only way to go is up! With love, an energy force calibrating higher than everything he can be saved. He can find Peace and Joy and later attain Enlightenment. Cain can be the light of the world if we don’t lose faith in him.
In the Spiderman franchise Directed by Sam Raimi we see a drastic change in Spiderman’s character and demeanor. He goes from being bright and positive swinging from building to building to being dark, edgy and angry. This is reflected on the change of costumes from Red and Blue to completely Black. What we know about Spiderman from the first two installments of the movie is that he tries to use his powers for the benefit of humankind. He saves people from physical harm. He dedicates himself to the salvation of men. He is at the peril of men. Crime is very low in the busy city of New York City. He instills order in the chaotic city of New York. He is a hero. He is also morally aligned, he always does good things not necessarily for him but for everyone else. As Peter Parker he denies himself the pleasures of the world like being with the woman he loves Mary-Jane Watson because he is Spiderman. He is often broke, failing to pay rent in his little apartment room that is fit for a peasant. And because he is always out in about saving the world, he doesn’t have the time to do his assignments resulting in the accumulation of poor grades. His professor thinks he is brilliant though and doesn’t understand why Peter Parker just won’t apply himself more. Peter Parker is heroic in all spheres of life. The juggling of his superhero life, personal life, academic life and he still has a job as a photographer for the city’s newspaper company – his efforts are honorable and superb. Despite the fact that he is often broke, he doesn’t have the urge to rob a bank or shop, I find that admirable. The best quote of the whole franchise is “I believe there’s a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, noble and finally allows us to die with pride. Even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the things we want the most. Even our dreams.” It is a powerful quote, one that defines the life of Peter Parker.
Everything in Peter Parker’s life changes when he learns that the man who killed his uncle on the first installment of the movie is still alive and remarkably escaped the confines of prison. Filled with outrage and anger, Peter Parker puts on his Black suit costume and hunts down “Flint Marco”. He hunts him down with the intention of killing him. He locates him and they engage in battle. Peter Parker wins the battle and the last words he utters are “Good riddance” indicating the demise of Marco Flint. It is the first time that we see Spiderman doing something that is morally wrong. What he committed was not justice. This was frontier justice – it is putting the law in your hands. What gives you the right to murder someone else? Is it because he murdered your uncle years ago? That is not a justified response. It is wrong. Oswaldo Mowbray (the Hangman of Red Rock) explores “Frontier Justice” on the brilliant Quentin Tarantino movie “The Hateful Eight” released in 2013. “If you’re found guilty, the people of Red Rock will hang you in the Town Square. And as the Hang Man, I will perform the execution. And, if all those things end up taking place, that’s what civilized society calls ‘Justice’. , However, if the relatives, and the loved ones of the person you murdered were outside that door right now, and after BUSTING down that door….they drag you out into the snow and hang you up by the neck, that would be Frontier Justice. To me it doesn’t matter what you did. When I hang you I’ll get no satisfaction from your death. It’s my job. I hang you in Red Rock, I move on to the next town. I hang someone else there.”
Luckily Marco Flint survived. Spiderman would have killed an innocent man. Marco Flint was a victim of circumstance. Yes, he killed Uncle Ben but he didn’t intent to. He was not even aggressive and hostile towards him. His only mistake was that the gun was loaded and it went off accidentally. Marco Flint was an accident murder. It was not his intent to kill Uncle Ben. He didn’t want to resort to robbing people to get money but he needed to do that. He had a motive. A morally justified motive. His daughter was dying and he needed money to save her. That was his only crime, his love for his daughter. Marco Flint committed murder but is he a bad and evil man? Cain killed Able to spite the world, God and himself. Is he a bad and evil man? Hitler, Stalin and Mao killed millions for their amusement. Are they bad and evil men? Where do we draw the line? What is our criteria? Which murder is morally correct? Which man is good? Which man is bad? Can you honestly state that you are a good person and believe it?
I am convinced that God is a comedian. Life was never meant to be serious. We humans complicate the process. We desire, we envy and postpone the present for an hypothetical future. We suffer more in imagination than reality. We love the illusion of control, we insist on micromanagement, we hold tight and firm to our preconceived notions, we want things to happen our way. God laughs because much of what happens is spontaneous. No one knows anything real about life. Even the term “real” attempts to make sense of what just is, an impossibility, that’s like biting your own teeth. Life is obsurd, no one has the answers, if someone had a cheat code then the game wouldn’t be worth playing anymore. How can you take serious what dissappears right before your eyes. I once had a girl who professed feelings of love towards me. I asked her are you serious or are you playing with me? She said she was serious and I was disappointed because I wanted her to play with me. Who wants a serious girlfriend? She be clinging on to me, suffocating my space, preserving me out of insecurity and controlling my perception of reality. Nah babygirl relax, calm down, it’s not my responsibility to make you happy, you must do that for yourself and then we will be happy together. I am not your world, get the fuck outta here! I am amazed with the mind games that people play on a daily, the sly manipulations and gaslighting to get you to do their bidding for them. Don’t get me wrong, I know that people control and manipulate me everyday, some tactics I see like the marketing and advertising that’s prevalent around me, some manipulations are paternal, they have been happening ever since I was born, some manipulations are to control frames to make sense of our interactions in the world cause somebody has to be passive and compliant to have a successful interaction, two alpha wannabes interacting won’t get you far. I love when women attempt to manipulate, the crocodile tears and the victim mentality, I always laugh, oh you a good actress but overt manipulations don’t work on me. Life is funny, it’s play. It’s not a coincidence that people who are successful in life do what they love, it’s not work for them, it’s play, they get to do what they love everyday and there is a glow about them, they are shining stars, they are fulfilled, they are happy. It’s play, they dance for the sake of dancing. The musicians, they play music. To play with no end game in mind, that’s the purpose of life. There’s a contrast in people who work and not play in their professions, they can’t wait for the day to be over, they are absent-minded, they postpone their happiness, they live in the future, their present sucks. You see it with all the serious professions like defence, your soldiers, crippled by PTSD and living life with paranoia. The need to be serious all the time, they are not happy. Why would you want to be serious all the time? That’s not life. It’s so unfortunate because the present is all we ever have, to deny it, is to deny your life.
Life is play, everyday is an opportunity to do what you want, to engage in what you love, to be around people who enhance the quality of your life. There’s wisdom in “YOLO” which translates to you only life once. You have to take play seriously! That’s why we get together with the gents, buy 48 Corona, 2 bottles of Hennessey, smoke Chronic to set the mood and the whole day is on autopilot. We play, we have fun, we connect, we live in the moment that’s now. It’s counterproductive to be with people who don’t share your values, people who you don’t see eye to eye with, the playing experience won’t be optimal. It’s a waste of life. Why would you want to be with someone you don’t want to play with. The rules of play are governed by two simple rules, respect and reciprocity, it’s give and take, give pleasure to receive pleasure. Simple cause and effect, that’s how you know it’s truthful. Albert Camus once said the real question of life is to whether to commit suicide or not. Why would you want to play if the activity doesn’t give you pleasure? 9 to 5 working a job you hate for a boss who treats you like crap and doesn’t like you. The pay is horrible and you can’t even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore. Isn’t it wise to end the game? The location is already pre-determined, death. No one can escape it, everyday you move closer to it, it calls out your name and the sound rebounds like an echo until time. We take life way too seriously when it’s already determined, a formality. Why? What for? You won’t survive it, even if you live longer, you won’t survive it. Life is play, every day is play, you are the Universe experiencing itself, you are not separate from it, you are it like everything around you, you are just a different expression, live your life, you choose how to live it, play, be happy, don’t be too serious, life is not serious. Play, be in the process. Love the process. Do the things that you love and be with the people you love. Play, be like a child in the moment, be immersed in the present, block out the external world, people’s thoughts about you, they don’t matter, they never have, the only thing that matters is what you think about yourself, play, find flow, laugh, be silly, feel the wet grass from under your feet, run, explore, be yourself, find the expression that’s truest for you, embrace your individuality, play, be all that you can be.
I know I am insignificant, scum, a cockroach, unworthy, tainted, contaminated and rotten to the core. I am a virus that spreads like a cancerous cell to devour the very essence of your existence. I live to consume and leave nothing of substance. I am a plague that wipes out life. I add nothing, I contribute suffering, I am nothing. I am a bad man, I would decapitate your head from your shoulders if I had the chance, for the fun of it, just because I would, because I was bored, because of the power I have over you. I find it difficult to condemn slavery because I have inhibitions to own and control you. If you were my slave, I’d have my way with you, I’d humiliate you, work you, break you, rape you, cut off your tougue to silence you and when I am done with you, just throw you in the nigger box. How’s God going to save you when his on my side? I am coming for the kikes and the kaffers too. If my bloodline was Aryan, I’d be your chief tormentor. More shots to the head and bigger gas chambers to accommodate you. Who’s going to stop me when I am God? Apartheid and segregation is justified, the kaffers will only taint our snow white skin. They are dangerous and as the chosen race, we must work to put them in their place. I understand the hate because I am a hateful person too. Why do good? How’s that going to benefit me? Don’t tell me about God. Don’t be naive. Where’s your proof? God is the last refuge of a man who doesn’t have any answers. If he exists, how do you justify the suffering? Why am I a pawn in this chess game? Why doesn’t God care about my dignity and pride? Why the humiliation and subjegation to unjustified violence? What about my honor and my humanity? Does this sound like divine providence to you? Maybe I am an animal and it’s time I played my role, killing all these white folks would make my life better. At least my family would be safe and live their lives without bondage. God is dead, his not coming out to save us. I must do this for us, for our survival, for the continuation and progression of our species. God doesn’t care about us and it should liberate us, all is permitted, there are no rules, it’s survival of the fittest. Kill everything in your way even if it’s lord Buddha or Jesus Christ himself. We are all insignificant. Time will bury us in history and we will all be forgotten. Being a humanitarian is a PR stunt, an attempt to control public perception, to deceive, to play God. All of life is a power struggle.
I don’t change because you had a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, a bad year or a bad life. No, that’s not how it works. I was brilliant in the past, I am brilliant in the present and I will continue being brilliant in the future. It’s a constant variable, I am the best, I never change. So thank you for your advice that I didn’t need, I hope it made you better. I hope it validated your existence and made you feel important. Although I have to admit it had no impact on me. Your thoughts and feelings about me are your business. They don’t define who I am. You lead a life of expediency and instant gratification, I don’t expect you to understand vision and the importance of living a meaningful life. In fact you are abstract, invisible, lack space and matter when it comes to my life and decisions. You are insignificant. It’s too late for your negative utterances and your attempts to bring me down. I know who I am. I know my worth. I am a leader. I am an exceptional man so don’t compare me to ordinary men. I vibrate on a higher frequency, I make miracles happen, I walk on water, I am incredible, I am the greatest. I slither with the snakes in the grass and fly with the eagles in the sky. There’s nothing I can’t do and no prey I can’t get to. I am Goku, Mr. Autonomous Ultra Instinct, I am the hero. I am impressive, a God, I hold my own destiny in my hands. I am the big ticket, the type that doesn’t need validation from anyone. So love me or leave me alone, I am not going abbid by your attempts to control and restrict my life. Who do you think you are, the Coronavirus? Even that didn’t apply to me. I kept pushing. I kept winning. I am a star how could I not shine? Thank you for your words that fell on deaf ears. They meant absolutely nothing to me. When I need help I will look at the mirror. I still follow my inner inclinations and destiny. I will never betray my heart. I have a tidal wave of good that is coming to me. Time will prove me right.
You have to be in awe of the female form. For it concieves, it produces, brings to life, and brings about light like the awe inspiring, center of the universe mercury star. The female form is something to be worshipped for without it, nothing exists. For the building blocks of the universe, it’s essence, existed two particles that had a sexual union to bond to create the big bang! That is what string-theory (the theory of everything) is all about; scientists have dedicated their whole lives to finding out what was before the big bang. The thought that we are a product of an explosion, an orgasm is a theory they accept thoroughly, however science wants evidence of the sperm and fertile egg. Something that could prove difficult considering the universe is already in the womb, growing and expanding. Maybe science will have a theory of everything but the answer to that is not yet conceived because we are in the early stages of development in the womb. As such, we cannot comprehend the world outside the womb with no time and space. Hopefully, my extended metaphor painted a picture of the divinity of the sacred Feminine and the fact that nothing is above it. The feminine form is the start, it is awakening, it is consciousness, it is self-sustaining, it is God and it is forever. Nothing exists without a sexual union and feminity is the source that nourishes and harneses growth and well-being of the offspring. This is the very pulse of nature, the natural order, her will. The male sperm is essential for procreation since it plants the seed, however the female body serves as an incubator to grow and protect the seed. This is nature to the female form. I think it’s amazing. It’s a miracle. Nietzsche had this to say on “Twilight of the idols”; “For the Greeks a sexual symbol was therefore the most sacred symbol. Every single element in the act of procreation of pregnancy and of birth aroused the highest and most solemn feelings. In the doctrine of the mysteries, pain is pronounced holy; the pangs of the woman giving birth consecrate all pain and conversely all becoming and growing – all that guarantees a future – involves pain. That there may be the eternal joy of creating, that the will of life may eternally affirm itself, the agony of the woman giving birth must also be there eternally. All that is meant by the word Dionysus.”
The universe is in a womb because earth is so fertile. Earth is hospitable, it is life-assuring and sustaining. From plants and trees, to the animals roaming in the Savanah, to sea animals navigating their way pacific to pacific. Mothernature is accommodating and an outstanding host. We are her children and she takes care of us. Mothernature is feminine. Reality is a combination of masculine and feminine – it is Ying Yang, it is order and chaos. The world is chaotic by nature and as living organisms we have to instill order to survive. Order is the will to survive, to thrive and live a meaningful life. This is what every living organism strives to do, from the plants to land creatures and sea animals – they strive to be more, they aspire to live one more day. This is in the genetic code of life, life affirms itself, life is masculine energy. Still, reality, the world is feminine energy. We are a perfect fit. Culture seems to understand this notion and we openly celebrate sacred feminine. This is exhibited on one of Beyonce’s songs titled “Who run the world (girls)”. This song is a celebration of the sacred feminine. SZA has her say on the song “Doves In the wind” stating that “pussy” (the female reproductive organ) runs the world, that it is basically the best in thing in the world. This of course is another salute at the sacred feminine, the spirit that runs the world. The Disney movie “The Lion King” also celebrates the sacred feminine. In the movie we see the movies lead, Simba throwing himself to the ground because of exhaustion and dirt in a form of specks and dust hover over his head and spells out the word “sex” quite visibly for everyone to see. This is a tribute to the sacred feminine and the life bearing power she has. Disney are well-known for depictions in their animation and storylines celebrating the sacred feminine. They did it again with the magical animation movie “Moana”. In a nutshell, something valuable is stolen from Mothernature. This results in an imbalance that causes Mothernature to rage on. She causes havoc and life suffers. Mothernature is personified in this motion picture. The only way to restore balance in the world is to give Mothernature what is hers. It is a beautiful movie, filled with singing and Disney magic. We also see depictions of the sacred feminine on the works of Georgia O’Keefe, to spoil the surprise they are awesome – I am a fan. “The Da Vinci Code” by Dan Brown also explores the “sacred feminine” through the story of Mary Magdalene, the church and the Holy Grail. The book provides revelations about the story of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene. It is said that, Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and conceived a beautiful girl. This is a secret that the church doesn’t want to go out. As such, Mary Magdalene is slandered and branded a prostitute, a whore by the church to tarnish her image. Mary Magdalene is a product of propaganda by the church. The falsehood of this story is known by a secret society, that had once in its rank, highly esteemed individuals like Da Vinci, Newton and Botticelli. A lot of secrets regarding the sacred feminine are uncovered in this book and the work of Da Vinci serves as the catalyst. Da Vinci’s works are scrutinized and serve as the building block to get the ultimate truth – the Holy Grail. This is a great book and will give you another perspective of the reality of the world.
Pegan customs worship nature as they see organized religions as restrictive, regulated and confined. Organized religions are a power strugle, they are hierarchical and patriarchal and as such truth is not a possibility. Organized religions are deceptive and cruel. They indoctrinate illusions in the form of heaven and other types of utopia and teach passivity in their congregations. Organized religions are control systems meant to regulate and dictate behavior. They keep people passive and helpless in their suffering citing “It’s God will.” What if God himself turns out to be our most persistent lie? On the awesome book “Brave New World” by Huxley, Mustapha Mond states “People believe in God because they have been conditioned to.” That is the dilemma facing pegans. The problem with organized religions is that they take all the responsibility away from you, assigning it to a “high power” and as Nietzsche states “When an individual no longer feels like they are the collaborator, let alone the center of becoming, nihilism becomes a very real possibility.” Organized religion can take the spirit out of your body while you still breathing. For pagens, religion is not a viable option for a sustainable life. The movie “Silence” by Martin Scorsese discusses this at length. Two Christian missionaries enter Japan with the aim of spreading Christianity but they are unwelcomed by the upper echelon of Japan simply because Christianity is not compatible with Japan. The Japanese believe that Christianity is bad for its people. They practice Taoism and Buddhism. They are a pagen people, they worship the sun and nature. They fear Christianity will hinder the progression of their country and its people. The Christian God is challenged at length to help his people from death at the hands of the Japanese pagens but he responds in silence as believers of the Christian doctrine are killed mercilessly because they don’t want to abandon Christianity. Because of God’s silence, the Christian missionary is forced to abandon Christianity to save Christian lives. For if he can denounce Christianity in public and adopt Japanese customs and beliefs, the public will see how useless it is. “Silence” is a hard and challenging movie but a great movie nonetheless, it is Martin Scorsese at his absolute best.
Acclaimed comedian Dave Chappelle stated in one of his comedy specials that man’s biggest challenge in the world is woman and woman’s biggest challenge is material. He continued that man would happily engage in sexual intercourse with a woman in a box if he could, but it’s not possible, because the woman wants the man with a Porsche. When you understand this fact, you understand the power of feminine energy. You understand the construct of society, you understand Capitalism, you understand the power dynamics in the world, you understand the hunger and poverty in the world. Man unconsciously and consciously wants power over his fellow men so he can be the alfa-male. This is seen in the animal kingdom with animals like Gorilla’s fighting to be the head honcho. This is important because the alfa has first preference on the ladies, he can have as many as he wants with no opposition. The alfa can be the only Gorilla that mates and choose to leave no mating partners to his subordinates. He is the boss like that. This subject can be visited on the work of Charles Darwin with his theory of “Natural selection”. Man is fundamentally driven by power and by what Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud called the “Libido” which is sex drive. Musician, SZA talks about this on hit song about the sacred feminine “Doves in the world” that men lose their minds for pussy, that they are irrational and they will do anything and everything to get pussy and this is true. The vagina has untold power over the man. To attain power man will do anything, including humiliating and exploiting his fellow man. This is the will of mother nature, the reasoning behind “survival of the fittest”, “struggle for life” and “elimination of the unfit” by Charles Darwin. Man is alienated from himself, Marx contends because of the division of society into classes, the ruling class oppressing and exploiting the ruled classes. Therefore, he said, a classless, socialist society would bring about the disappearance of alienation and all its manifestations. That looks good on paper but in a world dictated by feminine energy it’s not possible. We saw evidence of this with Hitler and Stalin. Socialism is like heaven, ungraspable, unattainable and unintelligible. For the world is pure madness, chaos, and pure and unadulterated hysteria. For twenty-five centuries, hysteria had been considered a strange disease with incoherent and incomprehensible symptoms. Most physicians believed it to be a disease proper to woman and originating in the uterus. Hysteria like nature, chaos and woman is art. It is challenging and difficult. It requires attention and focus. It requires one to be imagitive and bold. It is fulfilling for its a release like fluid ejaculation. Feminine energy tests us and we should response in kind with masculine energy. We should be forceful and aggressive in our battles with life. Feminine energy tests us so we can grow. It puts you in a corner so you can learn to maneuver around. Feminine energy is like your girlfriend hysterical, crazy and unpredictable but her love is unquestionable, tender like the bosoms on her chest. Feminine energy serves to grow life because there is no growth without pain and adversity. The sacred feminine tests all of life and those who show great strength progress. Unfortunately, hunger, exploitation, poverty and death are some of the ways that she tests us. You might say these are man constructions, however man is nature and a construction of the sacred feminine.
While Religion is good for regulating morality, pegans value freewill and a sense of destiny. They believe true power resides within, while the characteristic of a God (or spirit) is anthropomorphic, invisible, powerful and has special function that no ordinary human being could perform. Pegans believe they can perform anything in the confines of reality and life. They believe in the sacred feminine – they believe all is nature. This is reflected in Leonardo Da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” and PHI (1.618) – the Devine proportion. The number PHI, 1.618 is considered the most beautiful number in the universe because it appears everywhere in nature and life. PHI was derived from the Fibonacci sequence – a progression famous not only because the sum of adjacent terms equalled the next term, but because the quotient of adjacent terms possessed the astonishing property of approaching the number 1.618 – PHI! 1.618 is the fundamental building block in nature. Plants, animals and even human beings all possess dimensional properties that adhere with eerie exactitude to the ratio of PHI to 1. In a honeybee community for instance, the female bees always outnumber the male bees. And if you divide the number of female bees to the males you will always get PHI 1.618. The sunflower seeds grow in opposing spirals. The ratio of each rotation’s diameter to the next is PHI 1.618. Da Vinci’s “Vitruvian Man” is PHI – 1.618. Da Vinci actually exhumed corpses to measure the exact proportions of human body structure. He was the first to show that the human body is literally made of building blocks whose proportional ratios always equal PHI. Measure the distance from the the tip of your head to the floor. Then divide that by the distance from your belly button to the floor – you get PHI 1.618. Measure the distance from your shoulder to your fingertips, and then divide it by the distance from your elbow to your fingertips – again PHI. Hip to floor divided by knee to floor – PHI again. You get PHI 1.618 on the pyramids of Egypt and even the United Nations Building in New York. PHI appeared in the organization structures of Mozart’s sonatas, Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, as well as the works of Bartok, Debussy and Schubert. The Devine Proportion exists in all nature, in all life. It is you. It is the signature of the Universe. It is the literal hand of God. The universe is feminine because it accommodates life and creation. And you are masculine because you have to engage with it. To be one with it. You are life. You are nature. You are the Devine Proportion. The only person you are accountable for is yourself. The sacred feminine has granted you life – impose yourself onto life, build, create, be the best that you can be – make the best of it you God!
Lord Jesus Christ is one of the few people in history who had a consciousness that calibrated at 1000 energy level. He was an enlightened man. He preached the word of love and peace. Even when death stared him right in his face, he embraced it and mastered the art of dying. On the cross, when he was tortured and beaten ceaselessly he prayed for the forgiveness of man – he prayed for mankind. He didn’t feel sorry for himself. He didn’t ask God why me. He didn’t ask for God to save him, he never asked God to show himself. He was accepting of his fate. I think that’s remarkable. He had reason. He had willingness. He was wise. Socrates another enlightened individual who was killed for supposedly corrupting the youth of Greece shared the personality traits of Jesus Christ. When he was trialed, he refused to defend himself. He just let things be. He had a willingness about his fate. He was accepting. He had reason and he perfected the art of dying. He was at peace with everything. He was happy and ready to die. He had done everything he could do for humanity. He shared his wisdom. He made people aware and self-critical of themselves. He got people thinking and talking about their ideas. He knighted Plato and Aristotle with his wisdom and knowledge and still had the presence of mind to state that the wise man is the man who admits that he does not know anything. Incredible insight! He also preached love and peace for humanity. It seems as though humanity has a problem with enlightened figures.
Life is energy. Life is information. It seems as though Jesus Christ and Socrates had the right frequency. They were one with life. They were grounded in the reality of life. Psychoanalyst Carl Jung stated that the “psyche” which means spirit or soul comprises of the consciousness, personal unconsciousness and collective unconsciousness. Collective unconsciousness is the spirit of everything in life, it is the pulse of life, it is the culture and period we are born in to, it is the different ecosystems of the world, it is our collective consciousness as life that is hidden but dictates everything that we do unconsciously every minute and moment of life. Figures like Jesus Christ and Socrates understood this fundamental aspect of the reality of life and that enabled them to have courage. Through courage, they learned to stay neutral and open, seeing and experiencing life with new eyes every day. Now that they had courage and neutrality they had the confidence of partaking in life, they had the willingness to live and share their experiences with life. They grew to understand and accept being with all of its conditions and structures. Through acceptance they learned how to reason. Through reason they discovered the most fundamental aspect of life – namely love, for love nourishes the soul of the universe. Love has a positive frequency that exuberates when emitted. Love unites. Love is the one single force that has the power to change the world. They understood that only love brings true joy and fulfillment in life. Through love and joy, you can find peace. Peace is a beautiful phase to reach because it entails that you are one with the pulse of life. Peace entails freedom. At the conscious level of peace, death is not repressed but rather in the open. You are aware that it might happen any day and you are content with it. Peace is an encounter with pure and unadulterated happiness. And through peace, you find enlightenment. The world follows people like Lord Jesus Christ, Socrates and Lord Buddha among others because of their status of being enlightened – and it’s useful because they make us better individuals, they bring us solace, they lift the burden of existence from our shoulders. Their lives are dedicated to the salvation of all humanity.
Existence is a burden. Existence is a challenge. Life consists of suffering, boredom and death. This is a fact, it is a fate we all share. Depression and nihilism are and have always been the epidemics of the world. We see this in the 20th century, where people like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Mao ran totalitarian regimes. It was bad. We came close to extinction. People were killed for entertainment, for fun, to generate statistics. Joseph Stalin, once stated “one death is a tragedy, but a million deaths a statistic.” These were men with no moral compasses. They tortured human beings for experiments. They tortured human beings for their amusement. They were men overly intoxicated with power. They were egotistical and narcissistic men. They were men with deep underlying insecurities. The world was run by Pride and pride calibrates at a conscious energy level of 175. Pride is dangerous. Pride is critical. Pride is blind. Pride is Shame. Pride is guilt. Pride is confusion. Pride is fear. Pride is hatred. Pride is hopelessness. Pride is falsehood. The lack of a campus resorts in a man operating in the lower levels of consciousness. Life starts when you operate at a conscious energy level of 200. The level of 200 is courage. Below the conscious energy level of 200, is all things run by the amygdala, it is survival and fear driven. War generated this atmosphere of dog eat dog world – a world where nobody was save.
It seems as though Christianity is a good idea. Lord Jesus Christ dedicated his life for the betterment of humankind. He was an enlightened man and his ideas calibrated at 1000. Christianity managed to do the impossible. It proclaimed that every man is equal regardless of status positioning, wealth, gender and race. It gave women rights in a world where they had none. Somehow, it managed to level us all. It preached the importance of love and the idea of sharing. The concept of sharing is a very sophisticated idea for it teaches one about the delay of gratification. The idea that if I had two pieces of steaks and only needed one, I can give one steak to my neighbor with the realization that one day in the future my neighbor might give me a piece of steak when I had none. It is a concept that teaches you how to negotiate with time. Through the crucifixion of Christ, it taught us that life is suffering, it taught us about love and gave us the assurance that everything will be alright. It taught us peace and taught us how to embrace life and death. It even created a Utopia, a heaven to help us with the process of dying and to give solace. Christianity taught us how bring our hopes and dreams into the world by means of praying. Praying is another sophisticated concept where you concentrate all your forces and energy into something in hopes of bring it to life. Energy is involved in the process of praying so it brings it out into the universe, into life, the world. Because you prayed for it, it exists in the world – all you need to do is to put some more energy into it and it will reflect on to the world. Praying is the law of causality – isn’t it a beautiful concept? Christianity and the ideas of Lord Jesus Christ should be practiced for the improvement and perfection of one’s soul. Christianity is an extremely subjective practice. Its insistence is on the spirit of the individual. If a few individuals are regulated and fulfilled, it generates a ripple effect by virtue of association making everybody happy and fulfilled. A positive wave length is contagious!
There is a story in the bible about brothers Able and Cain. They are the children of Adam & Eve. The first humans ever. Adam and Eve were created by God whereas Able and Cain are the byproducts of Adam and Eve. It tells the story about how God was happy about one brother’s (Able) contribution and unhappy about another’s (Cain). Cain does everything to impress God but he does it in vain as he is met with Gods disapproval. Whereas his brother Able impresses him with ease, without much effort. This makes Cain grow resentful and angry towards his brother Able. Worse, is that Able is genuinely a good person, everyone likes him and women always want to be around him. Cain cannot find fault with him, his authentic and perfect and that makes him grow even more resentful and angry towards his brother. His resentment and anger leads him to Satan and he is drawn to Hell. Cain overpowered by emotions of envy, jealously and anger decides to kill Able. He does it to spite God, to spite the world by killing everything he wants to be. How did things become so rife? Everyone has a contract with God and you fulfill your contract by being you, by doing the things that come natural to you, by being authentically individualistic. By being yourself, you honor God and it pleases him, he becomes happy about your contributions. Cain was so envious of his brother that he didn’t honor his contract with God. He was not an individual. He lacked a self-campus. He wanted to be like his brother and that displeased God because he didn’t create a replica of Able. God also wanted Cain to be himself, to self-actualize, to impose himself on the world and show his true character and virtues. God wanted Cain to honor him by becoming himself. However, Cain’s heart was tainted and impure. Once he started having resentful thoughts about his brother, they took a life of its own. By continuously having these thoughts, he fed the beast until it lead him to a point of no return, Satan – Hell. Satan is not a red beast with horns on his forehead just like how Hell is not a place filled with fires and demons. Hell is a state of mind and you get there by feeding negative emotions. Negative emotions are not conducive to life. They are destructive and inhospitable. One must always aspire to go to Heaven. Heaven is a fertile place for growth. Love lives in heaven and there’s progression and growth. Heaven is stimulating and conducive. Heaven is the state of mind we should all strive to be in.
The two brothers were in two completely separate wavelengths. They were in two different worlds. One brother was in Heaven while the other was in Hell. One brother was with God while the other was with Satan. It is a useful story because it educates us about envy and self-actualization. Envy calibrates lower than 200 energy level. It is primitive and destructive. Envy is vain and self-sustaining, it feeds off other negative emotions and energy levels. Envy is unintelligible and insecure. Envy is prideful and hopelessness. Self-actualization on the other hand is above the conscious energy level of 200. Self-actualization is courage. Self-actualization is learning. Self-actualization is willingness. Self-actualization is reason. Self-actualization is freedom – the ability to embrace God and thank him for the gifts that he has bestowed upon you. Self-actualization is enlightenment, the process of knowing your purpose in life and fulfilling it. Self-actualization is the most beautiful thing God has given to us. We should strive to become who we could be and negate the external factors of the world. We should be truthful to ourselves at all times. That’s how we give praise to God. That’s how we show him that we are grateful for the gift of life. That’s where Christianity comes in, God has given us his son Jesus Christ to teach us about the virtues of life. He gave us Jesus Christ to enlighten us, to make us pure, to give us hope, and to complete that void in our hearts. I am not talking about organized religion, organized religion has made a mockery of the Christian doctrine, it has polluted and stained its ideas, it is the reason for the nihilism and depression in our world, it is the reason we are devoid of goals! I am talking about subjective Christianity, Christianity for your spirit and soul as an individual, for yourself. I am talking about Christianity as an ideal we should strive for!
Energy Level Calibrations: Energy Level: 20 Shame Energy Level: 30 Guilt Energy Level: 50 Apathy Energy Level: 75 Grief Energy Level: 100 Fear Energy Level: 125 Desire Energy Level: 150 Anger Energy Level: 175 Pride Energy Level: 200 Courage Energy Level: 250 Courage Energy Level: 310 Willingness Energy Level: 350 Acceptance Energy Level: 400 Reason Energy Level: 500 Love Energy Level: 540 Joy Energy Level: 600 Peace Energy Level: 700 – 1000 Enlightenment
I had a bad dream. It was horrible. I dreamt I burnt a school to the ground. Worse, the students, teachers and I included were in the premises. What was the motivation? I don’t know. Why did I do it? I don’t know. The fire was an inferno that burned everyone to their bones. I can still hear the cries of anguish. The cries of torment and hell. The school was locked and razor fences surrounded the perimeter. It was hard to escape, nearly impossible. Everyone was cooped in the boiling pot until it turned to aches. The fire, it was everywhere. I couldn’t breathe and my vision was blurry and tainted. It was a movie in the theatre of my mind. I managed to escape. It the midst of all that chaos, I located a spot that was devoid of razor fencing; instead stood a wall so I climbed over it and made it to another person’s property – following me was a blind person, his life was spared to. Now in a different demarcation we ran towards the gate to escape the chaos. Till we were stopped by a muscular colored guy. He pointed a rifle gun to my head and stated that I was not going anywhere. He told me that he knew that I was the one who had started the fire and let go the blind guy. I was perplexed. How did he know? He said he knew it from his soul. I looked over at the school from the muscular colored’s premises and everyone and everything was burned to a crisp. No survivors. It was like a battlefield that was bombarded with nuclear – it was quiet with no sign of life. The place was dead and unresponsive. It was horrible. I had burned down a place of education, a place of growth and sustainability. I had burned down a place of hope. I burned down knowledge, culture and heritage. I murdered my friends. I murdered my teachers. I robbed people of their potential, their lives. I altered the future for a lot of families. I don’t know why I burned the school. I remember having petrol and matches and I set the school alight. Even in my dreams, I knew the screams of the people who were burning would haunt me forever. That I would have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and it would change my life forever, that it would hinder me from appreciating all of life. I feared that this incident would scar my mind. Dying would be better. I begged the big colored guy to end my life. However, he didn’t. He just kept the gun on my face and held me hostage. I thought that maybe I should force his hand and try to run; that he would shoot me from behind and end my life, but I was scared of death. So I just stood there with the gun on my face on the one hand and the carnage and destruction on the other. I felt trapped and I woke up.
Why did I do it? Am I bad person? Am I an evil person? What is the difference between bad and evil? Bad is an adjective that describes your nature as a human being. It is straightforward, it is a fact, it is objective, it is the stripes on the zebra, the sun in the sky and the fish in the ocean. While evil has to do with acts of ethics and morality. Evil is premeditated behavior and actions, it is hiding evidence, lying to preserve your way, cheating and murder. A sequence of evil acts make you a bad person. If lying and murder becomes habit, you are a bad person. Evil can be undone with a sequence of good deeds and targeted incentives. Bad is set in stone, it is difficult to redeem if not impossible, it is hopeless with no will of life. It is with this definition that I try to analyze who I am. Surely, an evil act of this magnitude makes me a bad irredeemable person. Bad and rotten to the core. I senselessly murdered thousands in an academic institution – a place of education and self-betterment. I ruined the future of many families. I am just like Josef Stalin who starved his people until death. A narcissistic, egotistical maniac who killed millions in the Soviet Union to conserve his way. Was Lucifer bad or evil? Lucifer was an angel of God, who sang mightily beautiful and he/she committed a big evil act. Lucifer had been good in the past, what if he/she was redeemable. Did God give up on Lucifer? Maybe, I am Lucifer – In my dream I committed a horrendous act of evil, an act that is unforgivable. Am I unworthy of God’s love?
It seems as though if you don’t know who you are, the world and even God is happy to categorize you in box. I think the notion that we are all born sinners is the right one. Simply because inside each and every one of us lurks evil. And if the evil is disproportional to the norms and confines society has constructed you run the risk of being barred. It happened to Lucifer. You have a Lucifer in your soul. It is in this vein that we must approach life intelligently and try to avoid chaos. While chaos is all that defines the structure of existence we must try to instill a bit of order in ourselves. Assume the person you are talking to knows something that you don’t. Listen and don’t make judgements. Approach everyone with respect. Don’t offend the wrong person. Not because you are scared but because you want an orderly life. Insecure fools and idiots roam the streets, motivated by Lucifer in their souls they aim to insight evil. They want to immerse you in petty squabbles. Repressed and unconscious they want to project their powers onto you. The best way to solve such things is to shun them off. Not because you can’t stand up for yourself but because you won’t react. Reacting puts you at a disadvantage because you run the risk of running into a trap that was specially designed for you. You will get them at your own terms, playing by your rules. We are mortal and fragile. A shot to the head might end it all. A knife in the heart might end it all. As people we are all evil, some more evil and others just bad. Consciousness has given us the powers of sympathy and empathy meaning we know how to hurt a fellow human being because we can be hurt too. I struggle with understanding morality, the subject of good and evil because fundamentally I am guilty. Hence, my answer is the life of order. The life of the hero, fundamentally correct because he tries to restore order.
I find the symbolism of the blind guy in my dream who escaped the inferno amazing. The mind is so intelligent. The dream was about my struggle for good and evil and besides me was a blind who was on a journey with me, who abstractly “saw” everything and yet he left undeterred, unharmed, saved. While I was tormented by screams and cries of people burning to their bones. I think the message was clear, “Ignorance is bliss” and it works particularly well in the subject of good, bad and evil. We see this every time on court cases where the defense asks for an insanity plea and it gets granted for a murder committed in cold blood. We see sleep-walking patients butchering their families and walking free in court. Does it mean that idiots, mentally challenged patients and people devoid of sensory abilities are devoid and exempted from morality? Is being ignorant the key to happiness in the world? Is being crazy the key to fulfillment? Is being an idiot, a complete fool the key to bypassing the issues that plague humanity?
antakalipa 