Goat

Pap & Cabbage

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Pap & Cabbage

I was never chasing money, I was always chasing dreams. My soul yearned for quality stories and content. I have that, I succeeded with flying colors. When money was mixed in the equation, those above me took advantage of me and used it against me. They ruled over me like tyrants because they saw the power they had over me. So I cut the money off so I could be free. Free of tyrants who thought they could dictate my life like God. Free of restrictions and redtape of the uniform. I was rewarded with more stories and content. I fell deeper in love with performance arts. I met amazing people. I never would have achieved this had I clinged on to the little money I was getting. I would have been sluggish, I would have been a slave to my impulses. I would have been trapped, living in a cycle of fear, abiding by false narratives, pleasing people who don’t care about me and my dreams. But that’s not the case, I am hungry and relentless. I am also “dot.com” now, there’s a difference, more visibility and full functionality. I will serve millions of people around the world with quality content. I am getting the know how, I am meeting people, I am getting stronger. My game-plan is spot on, delaying gratification will give me satisfaction. Money is the end game but it alone won’t make me happy. I need quality people too and I am building a database, so I am happy with my pap and cabbage everyday, it’s an economical model and it does the job. Sure, I’d like a steak but it’s expensive and the process doesn’t call for that. It wants me to tighten up, be resourceful and pierce ahead like a spear. Pap and cabbage everyday will get me there. It will enable me to produce quality shows, it will help me serve millions of people around the world. Keep focus, pap and cabbage is the answer, never get sidetracked. Pap and cabbage will teach you about responsibility. You will get money, it’s around the corner but first pap and cabbage. You are already there, you did it, stay steady with pap and cabbage. Pap and cabbage, boil it, fry it, add some salt and be on your way. Pap and cabbage is the foundation. Pap and cabbage will keep you humble. Pap and cabbage will give you the world.

Amy Winehouse: The Diva and Her Demons

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Amy Winehouse: The Diva and Her Demons

On the Square for the Amy Winehouse: The Diva and Her Demons show, I thought it was opening night. Melidah set things right. Tonight is the preview, opening night is on Friday. Finger too quick on the trigger, Friday is too far. I’ll watch the preview tonight and come back tomorrow for the opening!

I’ve been excited about the show ever since I heard it’s coming on the square. Amy Winehouse is my favorite artist of all time! Couldn’t see her live but tonight was the closest thing to a Amy Winehouse concert. Kerry Hiles was amazing on Judy Garland’s “A star is born” – Amanda Bothma duh but she really did it this time! That just might be the best tribute show of all time! Incredible show! Kerry simultaneously narrates Amy’s life, it’s informative, intimate and insightful, she talks Amy’s early days, her parents, Blake, smoking Marijuana, crack cocaine, alcoholism, Frank, fashion sense, winning 5 Grammy awards in one night, Tony Bennett, Back to Black and her ultimate demise. Songs off Frank, Back to Black and Lioness: Hidden Treasures were performed. I lost my mind when I heard “Cherry” – I didn’t expect that! I lost total control of my body when they performed “You’re Wondering Now” and “Monkey Man”.

Other songs performed were “Me and Mr. Jones”, “Addicted”, “Valerie”, “Love is a losing game”, “Rehab”, “Tears Dry on Their Own”, “Take the Box”, “Stronger Than Me”, “Our Day Will Come”, “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” and the posthumously Grammy award winning “Body and Soul” with Tony Bennett.

A perfect way to start off the new year! What are you waiting for? Go get your tickets now! They are only here for 10 days!

Kerry Hiles is on Vocals and the Bass.
Roscoe Nefdt plays the guitar.
Kristo Zondagh is on drums and suitcase – you’ll understand when you see the show.

The music is crispy fresh and reimagined. Kerry is mesmerizing on the vocals while Kristo lends his voice to the backup. I loved “Valerie”. It’s so cool they performed all the music that I loved. I couldn’t stop singing and dancing! What an experience! The theatre is going to have a hard time keeping me out – my spirit is screaming encore! I love Kerry Hiles even more now – she could never do wrong in my eyes.

Thank you Theatre on the square for bringing Amy Winehouse to me. My favorite artist of all time!

Congratulations Misery Loves Company for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

šŸ“ø: SamSays

SLEG

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SLEG

I am sleg, shut the door on your face and put the key in the keyhole to deny you access, I am sleg, ya, sleg. Stand in your way to hinder progress, bin your papers so you don’t process, I am sleg, ya, sleg. Heart black as sin, kwaal nothing you have seen, the examiner with a red pen failing students with zeal. Will void and temper your seal, just to see you beg and kneel, then deny you access because you pathetic and weak, closing powers like nothing you have seen. I am sleg, ya, sleg. Kwaal on another level, turn my back cause your not on my level. I am sleg, ya, sleg. Everything here is mine, mine, mine and you ain’t getting anything. The perimeter is mine, mine, mine, you ain’t getting in. Keep you out even in your dreams, will never ride with me even if you had cool rims. Jealousy and envy off the charts, deny you access even with the right paperwork so you don’t enter these parts. I am sleg, ya, sleg. I enjoy seeing people suffer, see them squirm with pain from my burning sulphur, masochist, I love pain, especially when others suffer. Schadenfreude, a smile on my face thereafter, because I am sleg, ya, sleg. Close the door and reenforce it with steel, confiscate your stuff, they were basically a steal. I am sleg, ya, sleg. Would push you out a moving car on the highway, I don’t care, things must happen my way. I don’t care if your family or friend, things must happen my way, or I cut you off like a useless limb so you don’t get in my way. Cause I am sleg and competition is not my way. I am sleg, ya sleg. I don’t care what you think of me. Will leave you hungry with no food, leave you stranded like you’re no good. Cause, I am sleg, ya, sleg. Closing powers like nothing you have seen before.

Spiteful bitch

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Spiteful bitch

Spiteful bitch you made me stronger. I am laughing because you thought my back was against the wall but I couldn’t be more stronger. Should have believed you when you spewed hate against me but I was younger, vulnerable, confused, looking for your validation, when your heart was on vacation. You didn’t care, left me abandoned like a building occupied by drug addicts. Maybe I was an addict, craving for your love, that was never given. Instead you played the victim, when you are the one who opened your legs for that big dick. Should have wore a condom and avoided the leak from that big prick. What dreams? Don’t make me sick. Spiteful bitch you made me stronger, overplayed your hand, using the same maneuver, you became predictable, thought you were my God, how predictable. Searching for my weaknesses with a microscope so you can use them against me, weaponizing food to get at me. The presence of mind to know what works on you like Cain when he killed Able to spite God. Will never forget the schadenfreude on your face when I lost weight, it was your doing, you caused my fate. Not anymore it ain’t, will never give you that power because you are insane. Spiteful bitch you made me stronger, because of you I stand stronger. Will never let anyone play me like a fiddle, picking sides, nah, I’d rather stay in the middle. Acting big when you really are just little. Petty, prideful, egotistical, pointing fingers and sitting on the stands but never getting physical. You are right and everybody is wrong, how’s that for nonsensical? Control freak, power hungry, always has to be the one who speaks. Spiteful bitch, I believe you, you are clearly a cunt. Staying in role, you are even spiteful as a aunt. Hateful demeanor, stirring trouble, using people as pawns for your personal amusement. Everything is just a game to you isn’t it? Some sort of entertainment. Mine, mine, mine, it’s a sign, sign, sign of your immaturity and spiteful nature. Take it all, you spiteful bitch! We done! Spiteful bitch, you made me stronger.

scum

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Scum

Scum, scoundrel, scumbag, piece of shit. Ya, didn’t you know? Now you know, saved you a lifetime. Are you happy with my admission? Did you accomplish your mission? I live with mongrels, drunks and wifebeaters. Black and blue if she overextended, will take you for all you have if you are overextended. Scum, scoundrel, scumbag, piece of shit, now you know, use it against me. I don’t care, wasting my time seeing myself in people who don’t care about me. Claiming to be in my interests but wanting to control me. Using me to further their gains, to supply their inflated ego, what am I helium? Let’s pop that ego. Spiteful pride, weaponizing even food, must be good for your ego. The thing about turning Babyface is that you have to break a few egos. Take that off, mine, mine, mine, endowed with modesty I see, paragon or virtue operating above your ego, I see. An angel blessed with the gift of purity I see. Tomorrow is not granted. You think I won’t push the button, yet you pushed the button, congratulations, your request has been granted. See the beast you have unleashed cause you a stuntman, you take chances, probabilities against you and yet you still taking chances. Sit down, be humble, you don’t know anything. Even if you did, it has nothing to do with me. I am living my life too, what’s your issues got to do with me? Boundaries, stop nonsense, ga le mela le nyatso! Scum, scoundrel, scumbag, piece of shit, ya, now you know. Don’t expect much from me. Keep your distance unless you want to be contaminated by filth. If that’s the way you want to play it, then so be it, I’ll raise you. Pointing fingers gives you false power. Thinking you’re a God but you don’t tower. Just like me, scum, come lower.

Scum, scoundrel, scumbag, piece of shit. Ya, didn’t you know? Now you know, saved you a lifetime.

humble.

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humble.

Overwhelmed by the magnifence of life. There is an intelligence that spurs existence. It knows our hopes and dreams. It cheers us on when we are down, it pushes us past our limits, it inspires us to think things anew. So I am humble, it keeps my feet planted on the ground. Ego and pride aside, it doesn’t build anything, it’s destructive, masquerading as something constructive. It deceives, claiming the glory for itself like you wouldn’t believe. Because it’s hard to conceive of something that’s spiritual and mystical because you can’t perceive. But oh, it exists, operating on different realms and dimensions. It knows our nature, what we are like when nobody’s looking, it’s based on casuality from the effects that started it. So I am humble, knowing everything counts. Cheesy, I know how it sounds but things are seasonal and nothing is out of bound. What you want exists in the present tense, it’s yours, you don’t have to be tense. So I am humble, knowing everything is already granted. The pendulum is in swing, it has never been stunted. The magic is happening right now, all your dreams have been counted. The magnificence of life, call it God or the Universe. You are the essence of it, keep showing up, never regress, even through the struggles of life and the stress, keep holy your highest dreams and never act under duress. You are it, the magnificence of life. Stay humble, water the seeds of others so they may grow. Stand up for yourself and don’t be shy to say no. The magnificence of life, stay humble, God is on your side when you progress in the direction of your dreams. Be encouraged, your victory is written by the stars, that’s what he deemed. Be humble, know your purpose.

DARKIE!

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DARKIE!

Darkie,
Hates his own kind,
To elevate him,
He’d rather die.

Darkie,
Hates his own kind,
To promote him,
Would make him cry.

Darkie,
Burdened by the color of his own skin,
Wishes he could shed it off,
Cause black is the color of sin.

Darkie,
Brings his own kind down,
While elevating the lighter skin with a crown.

Darkie,
He hates himself,
Wishes he were something other than himself,
Has a low opinion of himself,
Projects all his insecurities on everyone other than himself.

Darkie,
A consummate actor,
Masquerading as something he is not so he can be a factor,
When he finally got in,
Banished his own kind out of the sector.

Darkie,
Intimidated by other darkies,
Offended by other darkies,
Hates to see the success of other darkies,
Trashes them,
Makes him feel like he is not a darkie.

Darkie,
Hates his own kind,
To elevate him,
He’d rather die.

Haters IV: Idiot, mutt

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Haters IV: Idiot, mutt.

Better haters please, I am still here, confidence bulletproof, they took shots but no holes and you can see the proof. Improved effort, better than the last batch of haters. I extend my congratulations, this time I saw the manipulation tactics, gaslighting, labeling, smear campaigns, the blatant lies, all the stuff that usually works, but you dealing with the great man here. Better haters please, you can’t get me to react. Tantrums and blowing like a blowfish won’t get me to react. All that hot air gets you carried away, floating, soaring out of control. Labels? Who you trying to control? Damn! Just when you thought you had all the answers, I changed the questions. Idiot, mutt, what did you do? Why would I listen to you? Better haters please, the last batch was predictable. Moves transparent and textbook but you dangerous and unpredictable? Walked away without a scratch but we were at war? Figured I was in trouble when you said you were going to go raw?

Really? Come on! No! Try harder.

Better haters please, better haters please, KWAAL and jealously only reflects back like a mirror, you thought you were pointing at me but 3 fingers were pointing at ya. Idiot, mutt, you hanged yourself with your own rope. Better haters please, better haters please, the last batch were prideful and weak. Arrogant and smug, they showed all their colors, I didn’t have to do a thing! Better haters please, the last batch couldn’t do anything, I am getting stronger. It’s like their negativity fuels me, I am getting stronger! Idiot, mutt, I never needed you, I don’t need your stuff, I am content with mine, if we gotta split our labor, we’ll do it in a way that’s fine. Still no favors, you get what’s yours and I get what’s mine. Better haters please, the last batch were out of control, emotionally illiterate, sophistication please, so I can at least win a debate. Idiot, mutt, the last word isn’t the last judgment. Better haters please, better haters please, I crushed these ones just like I did the other ones. They were not on my level, I didn’t even have to do much, If you don’t have haters you ain’t doing much, if I were overzealous with the trigger it would be a bit much, but it’s a mass suicide, for death, lunch. Idiot, mutt, I am bored.

Stop killing yourself! Give me something to do!

Better haters please, let’s get in somebody who will really keep me engaged. Idiot, mutt, would you dare come up against me? This I guarantee, I’ll crush you! Better haters please, better haters please, just for practice, I love my haters, they are my vocation. Idiot, mutt, make my day.

Pinocchio

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Pinocchio

At Joburg Theatre for the opening of Janice Honeyman’s Pinocchio. So much excitement – we got goodie bags filled with sweets and snacks! Pinocchio is one of my favorite fairytale’s of all time. I love the character of Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio’s conscience. We all need a moral campass to help us get through life.

The show doesn’t disappoint, colorful costumes and vibrant sets. Energetic, South African, interactive and beaming with life. Laduma! Madame Pussy Galore (The Fat Cat) and Madame Ill Fortunato (The Fox) are so humorous. They might have stolen the show, so effective as a comedic duo. A lot of comedic moments, I loved the puns and dramatic irony, breaking the fouth wall at times. Pest control was needed for Jiminy Cricket, he was doomed!

Pinocchio is the journey of a wooden puppet who magically comes to life and dreams of becoming a real boy. Katlego Nche plays Pinocchio, he is wonderful and he transforms into a real boy. Bongi Archi is a relatable father figure for Pinocchio. He can speak African languages, in fact, every character drifted off to their home languages once in a while, to convey a point or deliver comedic punchline. The show is filled with a lot of those, this is not just a kiddies show. There was also pop culture references and jokes for grown-ups. Singalong’s are a given and the audience participated and danced along. Laduma! CR7! SUII! Lesedi Rich is boundless energy as Lampwick Rich!

The sets colorful, larger than life, neon lights, full of imagination! Two acts with an interval, the whole journey is so much fun!

The actors
Katlego Nche – Pinocchio
Gina Shmukler – Bella Bouboulina
Sandi Dlangalala – Jiminy Cricket
Bongi Archi – Geppetto Spoletto
Lesedi Rich – Lampwick Spaghetti
Tiaan Rautenbach – Dame Arletti Spaghetti
Brenda Radloff – Madame Ill’ Fortunato (Fox)
Camilla Waldman – Madame Pussy Galore (Cat)
Mark Richardson – Senor Napolio Strombolio
Luciano Zuppa – Luciano Panzarotti
Noluthando Mathebula – Dainty Dolly

Costume Designer: Mariska Meyer

Set Designer and Builder: Enos Ramoroko

Lighting Designer: Johan Ferreira

Congratulations Janice Honeyman and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

šŸ“ø: SamSays

Barbershop Chronicles

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Barbershop Chronicles

At the Market Theatre for the opening of Inua Ellam’sĀ  Barbershop Chronicles. I postponed releasing this because the show centers a lot around a very painful memory. The UEFA Champions League semi-final against Chelsea. A tie Chelsea won by deploying negative tactics, a low block, parking the bus at the Camp Nou and countering with a last minute Fernando Torres goal. The cast of the show are having a lot of fun with that result, a lot of these barbers around the world are Chelsea fans. I am very much a Barcelona fan.

The play chronicles six different barbershops scattered across London and various African cities: including Lagos, Johannesburg, Harare, Kampala, and Accra. The whole story unfolds over the course of a single day, though in different times and places, giving a sweeping, episodic sense of lives, connections and conversations across the diaspora. The play covers themes of black masculinity, identity, fatherhood, absent fathers, intergenerational relationships, community, belonging, vulnerability and healing. The performers have soul and personality. They are authentic and lively, they are humorous, they have quirks. The show has a lot of energy and enthusiasm but also emotional and intimate. There’s even singing and choreographed dancing – a truly spectacular show! It evokes feelings of nostalgia, it’s familiar in every timezone. I loved visiting Lagos, Abongile Matyutyu is an unbelievable actor! So happy and relieved when his customer came back late to pay him for the haircut. Everyone is awesome!

The actors
Farai Chigudu
Langalibalele Mathuthu
Tumelo Namtweya-Phiri
Nhlakanipho Manqele
Luntu Masiza
Abongile Matyutyu
Thabang Chauke
Anthony Oseyemi
Mthokozisi Oseyemi
Mthokozisi Emkay Khanyile

I was patient, I waited for another match in the Champions League against Chelsea so I could have the last laugh. FC Barcelona lost 3-0.

I really dislike Chelsea.

Congratulations Sibusiso Mamba and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

šŸ“ø: SamSays