Goat

A Star is Born

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A Star is Born

Reverse engineering, what’s the last thing you see after a Amanda Bothma show? Standing ovation, people on their feet, clapping their hands enthusiastically. A lukewarm response is unfathomable. Using a Star Wars anology, the force forces you to stand elevated. It’s an appreciation thing for what you have just witnessed on the stage. Her shows are a prime example of finesse. It’s the writing, it’s witty, biographical and humanizes the subjects to make them relatable, the writing has a lot feeling and emotion. The experience coops in your mind like a cacoon and you leave the show feeling like a butterfly. Almost witchcraft, it keeps you in a trance where you are at her mercy but then she strings you along a roller coaster ride and the end result is just satisfying. The music usually the best in the world. You can’t help but to get on your feet and start applauding – the force has you!

You gotta love opening night, the sold out audience, the energy, the excitement! I absolutely had no doubts about “A Star Is Born”, I came prepared, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I went to the theatre expecting a great show. I went to the theatre expecting to be dazzled and the show delivered. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with Kerry Hiles, she’s magnetic, charismatic and that smile radiates like the suns ray. It’s contagious, she radiates warmth, she’s beautiful. Amazing performer, story-teller and singer. Her comedic timing is spot-on. She sings with emotion, passion and the delivery – top notch.

Reverse engineering, the show starts off with Judy Garland’s death and chronicles the life she lived. Tragic, she had everything young; success, acclaim, awards but died relatively poor because of his management team, sleeping on fans couches. I guess money and celebrity won’t make you happy if you have never been happy. Instead it stretches out the hole in your soul. Depression, imposter syndrome, drugs, divorces, awards, acclaim, suicide attempts, success, money, failure and the adoration of the world – a hell of a life! Ultimately, she died courtesy of a accidental overdose of sleeping pills. Yes, accidental, an autopsy confirmed it. Don’t understand the beauty standards of her day, movie executives claimed she was ugly. How’s that possible? She’s beautiful and her image is iconic but I guess anything to keep her in line and keep her turning that money wheel. She has been turning that money-wheel for executives ever since she was 13 years old, making them millions throughout her life. Her whole life, she was created by executives. Show-business, it’s not pretty and you have to have a thick skin. All the love from the world can make you feel so alone. No one really cares, you are just a mirage, a fleeting moment, a pay day to exploit. Everyone forgets you’re a human being.

Overall, tragic story masterfully told by a expert storyteller. She is expressive, her voice has range, uses her body and hands to communicate and express herself, she is lively, animated and makes use of the stage to perfection. The singing is top-tier all the way. The lighting intimate, subtle and nuanced but still moves the story. Set minimal with just a chair, three big pictures and the piano on stage. Luke Holder on piano didn’t put a foot wrong all night, he complimented Kerry, they were in sync, they were unstoppable! Great show, will be coming back for Kerry’s smile and her exploits on the stage.

Modise (The fallen woman)

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Modise (The Fallen Woman)

10 January 2009
My first day of school was good. High school is not so bad. There’s no initiation at our school so that’s good. You hear horrific stories about initiation in other schools; people are humiliated. It’s a fate I’d rather avoid. Instead of initiation the school, particularly the student’s representative council came up with this diabolical, genius alternative. They gave us Yellow A4 Papers and written on them with ink were: “Chipmunks 2009” and there was space to fill in your name and class. We were requested to get cardboard and stick that A4 paper on the cardboard and then with string hang that to our necks. At all times, we have to wear that board. To further humiliate us, every grade 8 student had to get a signature from a member of the student’s representative council. There are 40 prefects – that’s 40 signature. They taunt us, embarrass us and humiliate us first before they sign. I wonder what would happen if I “forgot” my board at home tomorrow. I am glad I am not the only fellow who came from my primary. I saw and engaged in a conversation with like 50 of them. Oscar, Christopher, Lesego and Shaun are also here. I even saw Katlego; in 2006 I relocated and as a consequence I changed schools, in the same school I enrolled with she was new to and she was in the same level. In fact, they put us in the same class. And we become buddies for a while. I changed schools again at the end of the academic year so we not so close but I am confident she remembers me. We could start something, she is hot. I just can’t wait to get to school tomorrow. There’s a big chance that I might be class captain – but we will see tomorrow.

27 March 2009
I was too slow. I saw her walking with somebody – a guy. A Grade 11 student. Did I even have a chance? Damn!

14 April 2010
I didn’t see Katlego and Sihle today. Maybe they have broken up. I mean he is in Grade 12. He probably doesn’t have time to entertain girls. Maybe I should enquire. She walks to the bus station every day sharply at 16:00 pm. I could engineer a moment. What’s the worst that could happen? Try is the best. If I don’t talk to her tomorrow then I have to get naked in the street and just run around – like a madman! Deal?

12 January 2011
I think this year will be a good year. Katlego is in my class. I really feel I have a chance at a perfect year. I have facetime with Katlego – anything can happen. My goals for this year are doing well in the field of academics and have Katlego as my girlfriend.

24 August 2011
I don’t know what is hard about telling her I love her. That I want to be with her. It’s simple enough. She haunts me. I am a disgrace to my ancestors and all my uncles.

4 September 2011
I think I am building something. We sometimes talk for hours on Facebook. Her responses are rapid and she enjoys engaging with me. She tells me a lot. She told me her dream of being a model and I agreed. Smitten yes, but she could be a great model. She told me about her passion for food and I got caught up and mesmerized by her vision. She consumed me. She also shed a light on the dark corners of her life for me. She has deep daddy issues and I think she needs to confront that – not that I told her. How can I exploit that? She excites me. I like her.

21 February 2012
She told me about her substance abuse dilemma. She said she has been clean for some time though. I don’t know what to make of it. I can’t judge because life is tough and I know that. I am not sure, maybe she’s not the girl I thought she was. She’s been through a lot. Do I really need all that drama? That’s why I prefer older, mature women. It’s easier with them. I can’t be the one to save Katlego.

8 March 2012
Another guy? When will she retire from dating in school? However, this changes nothing. I still have the edge. This new guy doesn’t know the things I know about his girlfriend. I could still push the button.

17 November 2012
It was merit evening today. She was announced as the new head girl. I am so proud of her. She’s
great that’s what I always tell her. For her speech she used the speech that I wrote her. That makes me a part of her moment for life. What a special day!

28 January 2013
Funny how I always think about her. The fact that I have a girlfriend has no weight in this situation. She’s hot, she’s sexy.

1 October 2013
She recommended a notorious club located in the area of Randburg that is known for outrageous prices on alcohol for our Matric Farewell Party. Entrance is R500 and a 6 pack is R250. Yea, right like that is going to happen. Not everybody is living on the dark side – not everybody has a sugar-daddy. I wish I had money. Everything is easier with money.

3 September 2018

I started talking to her again. She hit me up on Facebook and asked for my number to communicate on Whatsapp.

7 September 2018
She still excites me. She gives my mind a rush. I asked her to send me her nudes and she did. She has the best tits in the world. It was routine. I sent her a picture. Normally, they send me explicit pictures and today was no different. You see with the nudes in my possession, I have the psychological edge – the power; I can make them do anything. They are trapped and in danger of being a slave to fabricated intense desire. The subconscious can be evil sometimes, I think I
exploited her “daddy issues” problem. Or maybe I was just that horny. No, it’s deep rooted: I like her. She sent me videos that were out of this world. She’s a freak, she’s dangerous, she has scars, she’s an exception, different and I love that about her. I would do anything to fuck this girl.

19 November 2018
I think I hold rights to her mind. We had an explicit conversation on Whatsapp today and she said she wanted to ride me good. In her own words, she said “I am going to blow your mind away.” She objectified me – it was the coolest thing EVER! She wants to own and dominate me! Before I replied to her messages I closed my eyes and acknowledged the internet. I thanked Nikola Tesla, without him none of this would have been possible. He propelled humanity forward. He died a virgin so no man could die a virgin ever again! After about 5 minutes, I opened my eyes and replied to her kind proposition. I am so going to fuck this girl!

Meat Loaf – The Rebel Ride

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Meat Loaf – The Rebel Ride 🔥

First time at The Cirk, Sam crossed the ball from the flank and I headed it in for the match winning goal. Excited about seeing the Meat Loaf show for the whole week. I got the “very best of” album, double disk, to prime myself for the experience. This show is 🔥🔥🔥, nothing but fire emojies. When fire is around, you have to look at it, you can’t screen it out, it forces you to look, to invest your energy. Something evolutionary about fire, perhaps Darwin has something on it. We surrounded the stage like a bonfire, it was impossible to look away. Immersive experience, you have no time to be bored, there’s always something to look at, beautiful chaos with the acrobats, they are athletic with great bodies, 6 pack and puffed out chests. The ladies are flexible and elastic. The acrobats basically did the impossible, amazing, heart in your mouth stuff, breathtakingly beautiful but looks devilishly dangerous. The show was a performers heaven, they were dancing, singing and flying next to us – the audience. Yahto Kraft is an amazing vocalist and is backed up by more amazing singers. The show is very energetic and youthful, it was bursting with vitality, the performers looked happy on the stage, like they were unleashed, like the present moment was all that they had. The show was interactive and theatrical, it had a structure and storyline. The sound crisp and clear not loud but you can’t hear a thing when the show is on, you are in the show, you’re in, you’re in. Once again music with guitars about love prevails. The Lighting helped with attention since there was a lot going on – acrobats flying all around the room and performers singing and dancing on stage simultaneously. 🔥 show! Crazy and weird costumes though, but it’s rock, Rockstars are not known for being normal. Unbelievable show! It was celebrative, joyous, fun and I was in awe most of the time. It was 🔥🔥🔥, nothing but fire emojies, this I mean in a literal sense, one of the performers was playing with fire like nunchucks while the acrobats were in the air doing their stuff, with the rest of the performers singing and dancing on stage simultaneously! Some of the songs performed were “Took the words right out of my mouth”, “two out off three ain’t bad”, “Rock and Roll dreams come true” and my absolute favorite “I would anything for love”  it was the last song. Yahto killed that last song, I really enjoyed that, I loved it! Congratulations Timothy Le Roux, The Cirk and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

WORSHIPPING WOMAN

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WORSHIPPING WOMAN

I love him. He makes me feel like I can fly. I believe in all of his dreams – I think he can change the world. The thing with sexuality is that it objectifies and I don’t to constrain him to that label because he is also intelligent and brilliant. He does have impressive attributes. He works out and has muscles in all the right areas. He has beautiful athletic and manly legs – well defined and toned. He has an ass made in heaven. He drives me crazy. What I would do to be his. I wish he would just wrap me around in those firm, strong and defined arms. I wish he would come in to me. I wish I were the object of his desire; I don’t care about forever – just give me now, today honey! He makes me excited. I feel my blood-level rise up in his presence but it’s ice cold when I talk to him – I can never bring myself to tell him how I feel about him because it’s difficult to phrase in a sentence or explain in a paragraph. What I feel for him is metaphysical; the notion that I’d find him in any realm.

It is not a sex thing; maybe it is written on the fine print but it’s not the product. His the product –Everything about him. It is love. I love him with all his imperfections if you can find them. Just maybe love is being excited. That’s what I do when I think of him and our future – I get excited and it’s almost uncontainable like beer in a glass. He makes me weak to my knees; I think love is the submitting voice within. I often experience high temperatures of fiery fires between my legs and I often wish that he would turn it out – his equipped, he can deal with it and I grant him the power to use force; I am his to do whatever he likes. The disappointment of having to do it myself weakens the self-perception of myself like cancer cells to the immune system. Why doesn’t he see me?

What’s wrong with me? I could make all his dreams come true if he gave me a chance. If he gave me a second glance. If he actually stopped and started gathering data instead of being passive in his activities and actions. I am different from any other girl in the world. I am a keeper. I will make you happy. I just wish he would look for options on the sidelines.
I have a chance if I lure him with sex. Sex is manipulative. Sex is to give and take – it involves mutual undertakings. Sex is sly. Sex unlocks. Sex is about power. Sex is dangerous. The unconscious and conscious are actively engaged in the process for both individuals – you are prone to any influence or external factor. You are vulnerable and naked also in literal terms. Repressed thoughts and memories might sneak out in the form of a shadow to haunt you. Sex is to get dirty.

Alternatively, I could mirror him. Find out what he likes. What makes him tick, that will get him to love me. To embrace me. I could get close to his best-friend and maybe plot a plan to cook for him. I could show a bit of effort when it comes to my profile pictures on my Socials. I could write him a letter or a poem. I could tell him I love him – no bad idea, I can’t be direct. It will scare him off. I need to be stealth like a thief in the night. I need to be indirect and attack on the flanks – that’s how I will win his heart.

PRINCE

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PRINCE

Micheal is pretty great but if I had to choose, I am going with Prince. Prince inspired Nas, Kendrick Lamar, Bruno Mars Alicia Keys and Beyonce, he lives in their music. He is entrenched in the fiber of popular culture. I am going with Prince because of Eddie Murphy on “Coming to America”, they made a sequel 30 years later and his music still served as a soundtrack to the movie. He makes timeless art, art about love and beautiful girls. Going with Prince because of Electric guitars and ’80 synthesizers. Going with Prince because of “When Doves Cry”, still one of my favorite songs of all time, it gets me in the mood, I can’t help but to dance to it. Going with Prince because he was an amazing creative who in addition to serving as the lead vocalist, produced all his music. No seriously, Prince did everything! He played all the instruments, I am talking guitar, drums, sax and organs. He also chereographed the moves you see on stage. Going with Prince because his music was futuristic yet retro. Contradictory? Juxtaposition? Nah, listen to the music and you’ll understand, it never goes out of style. Going with Prince because of my two EPs, “Projections” and “the hero”, if I were to create a full length LP, it would have a Prince influence, I’d be over the top, talk about love and guitars would dominate. Going with Prince because of “Purple Rain”. “Purple Rain” is “Purple Rain”, self-explaintory, one of the greatest albums ever made and millions around the world have been conceived to it. Going with Prince because of his style, the androgynous sensitive artist and how his music makes me feel. I feel happy, I want to dance and I feel enveloped by love. Prince because I am a romantic. Prince because of “The most beautiful girl in the world”. Prince because of 1999! Prince because “Purple Rain” is better than “Thriller”. Opps! Don’t mean to be inflammatory, this is just one man’s opinion. I love Micheal, but if I had to choose, I am going with Prince, Prince is closer to my spirit.

Joburg Theatre hosted a Prince concert today, Sam put in the through ball and I finished off the move. Outstanding show! Amazing performer Dale Ray is. He is Prince in every sense! He sang like him, he danced like him, he even played all the instruments! No kidding! He played the Electric guitar, piano, sax, keyboard, drums and danced throughout. Great stage presence, he interacted with the audience and made us feel like we were a part of the show. I can’t believe it! I went to a Prince concert! It had all the enthusiasm, the lights, the band, screens, amazing sound, cheographed dancing, beautiful lady back-up singers and I was in unison with the crowd when we sang! It wasn’t a dream, it was live. We were on our feet, some on their knees and we sang to the top of our lungs and Prince himself validated and acknowledged our presence! Prince himself lead us into these songs. Dale Ray is Prince, he is Prince in every sense! “When Doves Cry” was second on the program, “I Would Die 4 You” somewhere, “Kiss” there, “Cream” of course, other classics and “Purple Rain” last, we should have demanded an encore, to stretch the moment a bit longer, stay in that spirit, dance and sing the whole night away. Congratulations to Showtime Australia for an amazing concert and the whole team for a great concert. Unforgettable. Memorable.

SILVER TONGUE DEVIL

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SILVER TONGUE DEVIL

He told me that I am the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. That I have everything, the smile, the body and the personality. I think he is a professor on hyperbole, a professor in the sense that he can hold a seminar with a room full of profiled, esteemed and affirmed men and make them all feel special – subjectively. The way he paints pictures with his mouth sometimes – it’s incredible, work only rivalled by the Mona Lisa by Leonardo Da Vinci. You know that his comments are exaggerated, falsified, fabricated and unverified but you still get lost in them. It’s like they bypass your conscious mind. He is so smooth. He is sweet. I am in love with him. He makes me feel like I can fly. When he touches me, I get hypersensitive and my nerves are all over like the scattered stars in the night sky. I love being seen with him, he drives up my worth and makes people talk. They are all envious, they want to be me. I am known like I matter when I am with him, when I get seen with him. I feel safe when I am with him. I feel secure. Like I can invest my time with him like a stock portfolio. I have a feeling it will yield positive dividends.

My first time was amazing. Sex is the most beautiful thing in the world. It has warmth. It is caring. It is sensitive. It is courteous. It is expressive. It is freedom. We got lost in each other’s arms and it felt like I was dreaming. I was liberated. I blinked three times, finally I am at the pinnacle of life; what the human experience is about, sex – love. He is the most important thing in my life. I don’t want to lose him. When he was in me, the world stopped and it was just me and him. Nothing else mattered. I felt his soul, his heartbeat. It’s just a process I fail to encapsulate with words you had to be there it was just passionate, heated and concentrated. It was like an explosion. Our souls reacted a force superior to nuclear. We were the bomb that exploded and left everything in ruins.

He is sometimes distant in a way I don’t understand. I am here for you. Please talk to me. I don’t know what to make of it. He confuses me. I think he is lying to me, maybe he is using me. Maybe I am a secret and there are thousands of me. Maybe I am making this up and he really is busy as he proclaims. I always see him after some time and when I do, it’s great! He takes me to 5-Star Hotels and game reserves and it’s so romantic. We usually travel long distances. We explore the country. We have the best sex in the world. With his tongue he takes me through the solar system, through the milky lane, straight to the many galaxies and back to earth. He gives me showers of orgasms. He satisfies me. He takes care of me. He is the best lover I have ever had!

He promised to marry me one day, I can’t wait! He makes my dreams come true. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t believe he loves me. I love him.

20 December 2016

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20 December 2016

This is our win; thank you to everyone involved in the process. Thank you to the people who shared their knowledge in the form of books to the whole world. A big shout out to the internet, we appreciate the free videos. I was ready. I was reading on the Kuma- Sutra, female genitalia, the importance of the stimulating of the clitoris, scared sex positions and Kegel exercises. And of course the practice of knocking bitches out the park on a constant. My PC Muscles were improved and I was ready. What a great December this is turning out to be.

I met Dineo; the hot girl in high school. She was still hotter than the sun. I always wanted a second chance with her, to redeem myself, just to prove I could do it. It transpired like a movie – I wish I had captured it and made it objective for everyone to see my victory, to bask in my glory. It was at a social event, an acquaintance was the host and she was there with her friends. The mood of the ceremony was quite celebrative and festive. It was light and friendly, tranquil with no hint of hostility. The sound that graced the social was Amapiano.

I was at the social event first considering I helped with preparations for the event. She came in a bit later with her friends when the place was fuller. It was two guys and three girls, I sensed what kept the group together was a brother and sister dynamic between the friends or that they are genuinely friends or that the guys were still in the early seduction stage and in that event it was an even ground for all. I didn’t see the two guys as threats. They looked meek and inexperienced – I don’t know in which field. Dineo was so hot. Those boobs and that ass – has the perfect ass to boobs ratio. Everything is just perfect about her. Her eyes are light brown; they are so mystical. Her skin tone just light not yellow. Her hair dark brown and natural yet curly.

I had to be intelligent. When her group came to my group to greet us and all the formalities of a social event; I excused myself to the toilet so that I can avoid an interaction with her. But I know she saw me. To be honest with you, I think I panicked. My conscious mind didn’t think of that plan to go to the toilet. It was an unconscious force. But now that I was in the toilet, I needed to improvise and actually derive a plan. I didn’t have one. In the end I decided that I was going to avoid and perhaps ignore her for the whole event. It was the only logical thing to do. I was not ready to face up to her. And I couldn’t leave the event, I was a part of the hosting committee. As an astute businessman that’s inexcusable. And I couldn’t drink too much either. I don’t know. It wasn’t a good idea so I braved out the toilet and went straight to their social group and welcomed them all. I was friendly and courteous – it’s still business after all. I think they felt welcomed. I greeted Dineo and embraced her with a hug. She was so beautiful. I left and returned to my social environment. I felt good. Going to her group was a good idea. But once again, it was the unconscious force pushing me. I was never going to do that – hell no! All I felt was a burning sensation in my diaphragm and since my gut was not at its designated spot – it was difficult to parley with it. Anything could have happened – things were out of my control.

Later in the evening when I was at the bar she came up to me and requested a 6-pack. I obliged and got a bucket and filled it with ice for her convenience. And we talked. It was a good conversation, professional – we catched up and had a couple of laughs. And then it accelerated. She said she never stopped thinking about me. It was silent for a couple of seconds. But I am not stupid, I am quite intelligent and I knew where she was heading with this. I knew exactly what she wanted and I wanted it as well! I responded with a question requesting the identity of her friends. She responded, those two are brother and sister and the rest we just friends held by the fact that we live in the same location. I noticed the fullness of her responses. I looked at her body language – she was mirroring me! A fuse blew up in mind but I had to be steady. I asked her to come sit with me and that we would plenty of fun. She agreed and took the bucket with ice and beers to her friends stating that she’ll be right back. I thought I was doomed. I had no plan. But I looked around at my surroundings and I saw plenty of girls and women and it occurred to me that she was just a woman. In a typical weekend I lure 2-3 women in my nest. A soothing voice came up to me and said “relax, this is the moment you have been waiting for all your life. You are ready. Your practical examinations are excellent and the theory you reading is making you a legend in the city. Just be yourself”. “Just be yourself” it said I calmed down and relaxed. I can’t mess this one up.

Later she was at my place. I had been excellent all day. I need to cap of this day. When we were driving to my place. All I did was to picture her naked. Those tits; are they going to take me to heaven like they promise? They are so firm. I had been reading on sex and how to pleasure your partner. It advised that kissing is erotic. That it prepares the orgasms. It advised the pressure points: the neck, areas on the torso and of course boobs. I couldn’t wait to kiss and suck those boobs. It would be an experience for me. I couldn’t wait to do that. It was so important to me and my life.

I wanted to do things to her. Things that she will never forget. My intention was to pleasure her good. Riding to the crib I thought about the game plan. I am a trader and the blueprint is the most important thing – stocks taught me how to plan thoroughly. I thought about her pussy as well. Cunnilingus always makes them go crazy – I thought about eating her pussy whole. I bet her pussy is tight. But I had to be strategic about this. I can still eat her whole pussy up but I need to stimulate the clitoris first. The key is to always to keep moving your tongue. Faith and Bontle love it, they get orgasms too. A couple of seconds into sex and they are already blown away. I love it when they vibrate, it’s their way of telling me I did well. I think it’s a man’s duty to give a woman an orgasm because if men can’t do it, what then? There’s nothing men can’t do. My pumps ratio is also good. I have solid PC Muscles. I practice Kegel exercises every day and I fuck almost every day. Don’t mean to brag but I am in the level of a porn star – penetration wise, I am good.
Before we even stepped in the house, I had a detailed plan. In the end it all worked out for me. Gave her orgasms over orgasms she will be back. I made sure.

BABYGIRL

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BABYGIRL

Babygirl I apologize for everything. I lacked the fundamental skill of observation. I lacked empathy and sympathy. I am a bad person. I had a passive mind and it was fixed blaming you. Love frustrates me. I often think how many people would know love if the word didn’t exist. Society and popular culture keeps forcing it down my throat – and I don’t like their version. I am frustrated by everything. The world keeps implementing gender neutral policies and I don’t know what they mean for future generations so I often feel marginalized. I don’t mean the disrespectful comments, I am sorry. I should know better, I was raised better than that. The truth is that I wouldn’t manage a day in your heels. It’s hard. I would fall on my face. You do it with style and grace in a zoo filled with cobras, mountain lions and vultures. They all want a piece of you like the middle circle in a dart game – the bullseye! In the end, they all miss. They miss because you were never the target. Self- inspection is the target and they shoot wide and it shows because they don’t know themselves. I too shot wide.

The world is such a tricky and dangerous maze for you. If you somehow escape your immediate family there’s still the external world to contend with. Figures with authority tend to put fingers and parts of themselves into you like the process of validating a ticket in a soccer game and it’s unfair because you’re not the gate. Why must your locks be picked? I get so angry when I reflect because you get to live with the scars. Ocean deep scars that can never be diluted. So the only thing to do is to repress. Just maybe you take pictures and selfies to avoid the horrors of your mind. Like demons they possess the sober mind, that’s why you need social media – it’s therapeutic; the likes say you are loved and I agree.

Babygirl, I don’t know how you handle the pressures of the world. The standard of beauty keeps changing like waves and you are still a classic like Converse “All-Stars”. After all, you need to bait and seduce men. A man who can take care of you and all your needs. We are not getting any younger and time is unfortunately not on our side. That’s why you can never wear too much make- up. The nails and hair need to be up-to-date too, those are the things that matter most. They lure men – that and short skirts. Not that you need a man but a family gives life purpose. Your mother – that bitch, is always on the fence barking orders and making deadlines regarding your life. How can you predict the day you’ll fall in love? They never call back even with short skirts and make-up. They void your attempts like nothing is better. I never used to understand your frustrations but I now do.
It’s like I am alone and it’s not a choice but rather the environment and universe condemning me to that reality. My biological clock is ticking while my peers are settling down and starting families. I have options but they are not viable. Maybe I should rekindle old relations to widen my scope. The lenses I have now show me a very blurry and foggy perspective of the future. My options are being eliminated like hitmen on the roof. My anxiety levels are high as a plane on cruise control. The world has killed my dreams. I am not as pretty as I used to be. I used to get a lot of attention from men but now, not so much. The world discarded me like last week’s newspaper. What am I supposed to do?

Babygirl, I am sorry for insinuating that you have a bad character and questionable values. For most of us we play the hand we have been dealt and hope for the best. Why should conditions and variables be different for you? I was jealous and smitten. With just everything in my fiber, I wanted to be with you. You wanted to be with someone else, someone with better resources who can take care of what’s primary. It was do or die for you – I have to respect that. It’s not your fault I am poor. I just wish I were the object of your lust.

Babygirl, I will do better. I will try for you. I have been so inconsiderate that I am embarrassed. Love consumes and envy is admitting to yourself that you are inadequate and it’s painful. I was attacked by both love and envy simultaneously. My mind with all of its cognition functions couldn’t decode all that information. I crashed. I didn’t mean to relegate you to a world of taking selfies and sharing memes – you are more than that. I get critical of women because of my past. I was with a girl who told her parents that she had a job in the big city – little did I know, I was the job.

I read somewhere that the mind interprets dreams and reality the same way and I was really ecstatic! I couldn’t wait to get to sleep because that’s the only time I get to be with you.
Please take care of yourself

Best Regards

The great man
ANTAKALIPA

My Beautiful 100 Hectares

/ antakalipa / Leave a comment

My Beautiful 100 Hectares

Where do I even start?
How do I begin to express myself?
What do I even say?
I don’t think words alone are sufficient for me attain your numbers four you are 1 in 500 000.

I am sorry, I don’t mean to be cheesy
and I am not using Cheddar to try and lure you in a trap
for I am well aware you run the streets and the underground.

The beautiful thing about the bottom is the sky is what you taught me,
you believe in love,
happiness and you just make my heart beat.
Faster is an adjective to describe how time moves when I am with you.
A lapse in time is an eternity in rue.

My beautiful 100 hectares our souls are intertwined,
bonded by something more than science.
Every time I try and leave
my heart screams out in defiance.
Or is it just psychological warfare?

My mind is fountained by thoughts of you and the memories we shared.
You are the cannonball splash that makes every woman and man wet.
Dripping with authenticity,
sparkling like wine,
your volatile personality erupts like oil in a mine.

My beautiful 100 hectares,
you hold the route to my soul.
Our minds like clay can be moulded and created by the artist.
Modify me to a plane so I can soar above you,
to see the world,
explore and make my way like a monarch butterfly.

My beautiful 100 hectares contain me in a bigger box,
with space to move around and windows without bars.
Bar me from suffering so I can make the world a better place.
The world can be our oyster- the world can be our plate.
All I need is a reservation and I promise I won’t be late.

Magnificent Goddess I am sorry,
I apologize.
I am not usually like this.
It’s just that,
I have always believed in following what shines brightest to you.
But that never works in real life.
I take everything back.
For insinuating you whack could forcefully put me to the sack.
For you are the Jack of all trades,
the enforcer of every raid and up there with the greats.

My beautiful 100 hectares walk tall,
with stiletto heels that were custom made for your feet.
You are the authoritative figure,
illuminate us with your beauty like a street light. For you are more exhilarating than a street fight,
a sight more breath-taking than the eclipse at night.

My beautiful 100 hectares,
you created matrixes’- worlds,
in which we could create characters for ourselves.
On Friday,
I am Zlatan,
on Saturday Messi
and success is determined by the number of times I put the ball between legs.
The dangers and repercussions usually nutmeg our untrained clay minds but it’s worth it.
For in the weekend, I am free.

My beautiful 100 hectares,
I think I have the formula for life.
It was blurry at first but I got better lenses and changed the orientation of the page.
My hope often withers like autumn
and in that moment it’s cold and windy.
But I am comforted by the fact that I come home to you.
For you are warm,
funny,
carefree and happy.

The world is already this big matrix that I will never explore.
My life is already on auto-pilot
Just as long as,
I have my Television set, my smartphone and my weekends, I will be okay.

DONDA

/ antakalipa / Leave a comment

Donda

Good day

I would like to take the opportunity to thank you for DONDA. It is the greatest album of all time! Plus you’re back with JAY-Z, AHHHH you made my wildest dreams come true! And that Lionel Messi line is the best thing EVER! And there’s also Lauryn Hill! Oh, thanks man. So much greatness in this album! It’s like this album was custom made for me! Thank you God. I wished and prayed for a project this complete. I will be honest, I didn’t like that 7 track project. The day it was released was the worst day of my life. That’s not the Kanye I know. Sure we can talk about short attention spans and appealing to a new demographic but that’s not enough of a justification. To this day I omit it from your collection. Jesus Is King was awesome and I lived off Jesus Is Born. Jesus Is Born is my favorite album EVER! Thank you for Jesus Is Born, it helped me persevere through hard times. It recharged my spirit, It gave me faith. My congratulations stretches out to everyone in the team for a great job well done. I appreciate Jesus Is Born, thank you.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I know you doing all that you can still, I am waiting for that project with Dr. Dre that you hinted with that picture you once posted on social media. And can we please get a “Watch The Throne 2”? It doesn’t have to be now, take your time. I am willing to wait patiently for the project. It’s fine even if the album comes out in 10 years time, I will grateful for it.

I’ve always known and believed in my heart and spirit that I’d get a project like DONDA. People I know wrote you off but not me. I know Kanye, from Freshmen Adjustment, College Drop-out, Late Registration, Graduation, 808’s & Heartbreak, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Yeezus, The Life Of Pablo and Jesus Is King. Oh snap! DONDA is better than Dark Fantasy! No, I am being rash, I can’t say that – I am just confused. Let me not compare the two projects. I just really love DONDA.

I have lived for 26 years and maybe I have a limited scope but 2021 is my best year EVER! Lionel Messi won Copa America, Cristiano Ronaldo is back at Manchester United and Kanye West released the greatest album of all time!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for making my year! I pray God protects you and grants you everything you want and need. God bless and thank you for DONDA.

Best Regards

ANTAKALIPA