Spiteful bitch you made me stronger. I am laughing because you thought my back was against the wall but I couldn’t be more stronger. Should have believed you when you spewed hate against me but I was younger, vulnerable, confused, looking for your validation, when your heart was on vacation. You didn’t care, left me abandoned like a building occupied by drug addicts. Maybe I was an addict, craving for your love, that was never given. Instead you played the victim, when you are the one who opened your legs for that big dick. Should have wore a condom and avoided the leak from that big prick. What dreams? Don’t make me sick. Spiteful bitch you made me stronger, overplayed your hand, using the same maneuver, you became predictable, thought you were my God, how predictable. Searching for my weaknesses with a microscope so you can use them against me, weaponizing food to get at me. The presence of mind to know what works on you like Cain when he killed Able to spite God. Will never forget the schadenfreude on your face when I lost weight, it was your doing, you caused my fate. Not anymore it ain’t, will never give you that power because you are insane. Spiteful bitch you made me stronger, because of you I stand stronger. Will never let anyone play me like a fiddle, picking sides, nah, I’d rather stay in the middle. Acting big when you really are just little. Petty, prideful, egotistical, pointing fingers and sitting on the stands but never getting physical. You are right and everybody is wrong, how’s that for nonsensical? Control freak, power hungry, always has to be the one who speaks. Spiteful bitch, I believe you, you are clearly a cunt. Staying in role, you are even spiteful as a aunt. Hateful demeanor, stirring trouble, using people as pawns for your personal amusement. Everything is just a game to you isn’t it? Some sort of entertainment. Mine, mine, mine, it’s a sign, sign, sign of your immaturity and spiteful nature. Take it all, you spiteful bitch! We done! Spiteful bitch, you made me stronger.
This was never my dream nor the plan. I have a degree, I was a teacher, I had purpose. Nowadays, not so much. It’s difficult to love myself but I do my best. I have to concede, I miss it, teaching, having a purpose, contributing something of substance to humanity. I miss being around students and how their eyes would light up after achieving a milestone. I am swerving off the road but I remember when a student of mine got his drivers license, the next day he came up to me and he shared his news, his eyes beamed with excitement, satistifation and pride, possibilities opened up for him and he couldn’t wait for the future. That’s what I miss the most, youthful exuberance. I miss teaching Shakespeare, I love Shakespeare, Othello, Macbeth, Hamlet. This was never the plan, I loved my job, I had purpose, I come from a religious background, I grew up a devot Christian, I never wanted to dance nude on camera for the internet. But life did it’s thing, I was drowning in student loans and credit card debts. The cost of living is too high and inflation a bitch, consumer products keep rising, meanwhile my salary is stagnant. I can’t do anything, I am trapped in a loop and I am also 3 months from being homeless. This was not the plan, dancing and posing on camera for the internet but I had to do it, for the money, the validation and a better life. OnlyFans was my only salvation, at first I hid my face, I tried to be anonymous but somehow it leaked on Twitter. I am guessing someone was looking me up and somehow put 2 and 2 together because next thing I knew, I was trending, I live in a small town, everybody knew. I was suspended and later fired from work, OnlyFans became the center of my universe. Digital prostitution, I am one of the lucky ones, a lot of girls are lured into this life and don’t make much money. Some of these girls end their lives after they realize it’s not as glamorous as advertised. Cause you selling your ass on the internet and sometimes you just don’t move any units but the cost of production haunts you for the rest of your life. Last year I made a cool 2 million. Maybe luck is the wrong word, you gotta invest in the platform, market yourself, produce quality content, you can’t do much with 12 pictures and 3 videos, men are visual creatures, you have to stimulate their imagination, give them something they don’t get from other creators, set yourself a part, keep them coming to see your content. Pornography is free and rife on the internet, how are you going to distinguish yourself? Just some advice, more than 200 pictures and 60 videos is good when you are starting out. Bikini shots and nudes but you have to pick your platforms, for example, you can’t post naked pictures on Instagram, that will get your account removed but you can get away with it on Twitter. Do what you can, fuck who you need to fuck, get your money and reinvest in another area. That’s what I did, I went into Real Estate and bought a farm. It’s futile to delete your account because the internet is forever so I keep it active. If simps want to give me their money, who am I to say no? I get private requests and I execute if the money is right. I never understood the pissing and shitting stuff, still don’t, but I do have the content. I do have boundaries though, like one time some sick weirdo wanted me to fuck a dog. I told him no, I don’t go out of my species. I do this for money and a bit of validation. I love it when men call me a Goddess. I remember when my mother said “it’s a good thing you have a good personality because you are not attractive”, what a horrible thing to say to your daughter. That stayed with me for life. On my OnlyFans, the men think I am attractive and they pay me a premium for proof, that’s good enough for me. I don’t have regrets, I had to and my life is better financially. As long as men keep paying me to see me naked, I am happy to keep dancing and posing for them on camera. Yes, I don’t have friends and my family disowned me but my money keeps me company. We take sex too seriously, like it’s a taboo but it isn’t because we all do it. Does it matter that you do it behind doors and me publicly for everyone in the world to see? I don’t need them in any case, they are hypocrites. I know that my pictures will be on the internet for all of humanity to jerk off to, I know that I have a lot to explain to my daughter who is currently 3 years old but the world is changing, the money is good and I am one of the lucky ones. I am up to it even though it will follow me for a lifetime. This was never my dream nor the plan. I have a degree, I was a teacher, I had purpose.
At a friend’s, it’s scotching hot, we have ladies, I am invested in landing one, we have a pool, we all take a swim. I can’t swim so I am on the shallow side, it’s okay, it’s not embarrassing, some of the ladies are lingering on my side, I am counting three, they also can’t swim, I am cool. Some of the gents are flexing, back flipping and butterfly strokes, deep dives and touching the base of the pool, can’t lie I wish I could do that, I am envious but my jealousy is contained, what I would do to swim coast to coast but I’m a scared little bitch so the shallow side is where I am confined. It’s okay, it’s not a trainsmash, after all we all in the same water. We vibing, we having fun, we play a watergame, water volleyball, it’s 4 a side, my team loses but it’s okay, we were up against a team of professional swimmers while I was the captain of a team that can’t swim for shit! Fatigue sets in and I get out of the pool, the sun is also setting so everybody gets out, a moment is spent sunbathing while I go take a shower. When I am done I go into a room where my clothes are, strip naked and suddenly the door swings wide open, idiot stupid girl doesn’t knock, I am exposed and my Johnson has shrank, it’s like a raisin, It’s understandable, I just took a swim, my body temperature is cold, Mr. Johnson was tucked in, a simple phenomena, it’s called shrinkage, it’s not a true representation of what I am usually like, it’s shrinkage, I am not well hung but I am better than this, this is shrinkage. She took one look, laughed a bit, apologized and exited the room. Oh crap! All the girls are about to know about my Johnson and I doubt it will be in a flattering light, but they don’t understand it’s shrinkage! I am better than this, I am better than average, this is shrinkage, I just took a swim, don’t laugh, it’s shrinkage! Never swimming again because of shrinkage!
Some of you ladies don’t need a man in your lives, you are Alphas, ballbreakers! You even have balls and raging testosterone. But oh, I get it, you are a “strong woman” right? What a load of bullshit! This PC culture makes me sick. Relax, go be a “strong woman” over there, alone. Ain’t no man got time for that. Better, try being gay or is it lesbian, sorry I am not woke, that strap-on will give you the dick you have always longed for. Cut off your tits to complete the transformation and if you are flat, then you have completed the transformation. Who said anything about being submissive, there’s a war on gender and you are being dismissive. Who taught you to hate yourself? You identify as what? My nigga, gender is a fact! That ain’t blood, it’s beet juice just like the imitation of a dick you have that’s kinda cute. “Strong woman” why don’t you cut the shit, yous a alpha chick, a ballbreaker. Own it and get a bitch ass nigga you can dominate.
Some of you ladies don’t need a man in your lives, you are Alphas, ballbreakers! Let’s cut the bullshit, gender is a fact! This PC culture makes me sick.
Theatre is female. Daphne opened the door, Regina called me in, Sharon took me with her and Sam showed me everything. These are all my girls, I love them with impunity, they loved me and I love them forever. After I took the “Dress Code” script, I experienced some turbulence. Me and Regina were at loggerheads and she didn’t want me at the theatre anymore. I had defied, disrespected her and my time working as stage manager was done! I was tired of being bossed around, she was tyrannical and condescending. She never missed the opportunity to remind me that I owed her for the job. It was unfair and inaccurate, I landed the job myself. I talked to Daphne, I was at the theatre every week watching shows, the theatre needed help with operations and they approached me to help and I accepted. Regina switched everything around, it was I who needed the job, I was lucky to be there and she was the one who hired me not Daphne. I went with what she said because I needed to be there so I can understand the landscape and be apart of theatre. She started with that narrative very early on, one the first day and she was on top from the very first day. She dominated me, she was overbearing, she humiliated me, every time Daphne paid me, she made it a point to ask me how much she had paid me. After my response she would proceed on reminding me how lucky I was I had that job. I was doing the job, I was perfect at it, I was an asset to theatre and yet I was in bondage to her! She used to tell me every day that this was her theatre. Her demeanor was narcissistic. I hated that. I knew I wasn’t going to last from the first day she took that R100 from me, I knew I would turn on her sooner rather than later. What she didn’t understand is that I wasn’t motivated by money or fear, I was doing this for the love. That gave me the edge to be strategic because I wasn’t afraid of losing the job, I welcomed it if it meant I couldn’t work with dignity. She wanted your balls for that paycheck and my balls were mine. I dislike being micromanaged, I prefer to work with autonomy and space, I will do the job perfect if not I will take responsibility for the down fall. I don’t need to be put down and reprimanded in front of an audience, that won’t give you the best results. The truth is that me taking that script was premeditated, I was being spiteful, I wanted her to see and acknowledge me, it was my receipt for everything and my way of showing her that I was pretty narcissistic too. The script had other uses too, I took it to get close to the cast, I knew I wasn’t going to last at the theatre. I anticipated her response, she was outraged and played the victim when I was only reflecting her, I knew my position at the theatre was secured. I stayed away for a while but I’ll be back.
Now that I wasn’t working at the theatre anymore, I connected with Sharon. When we were together working on the “Dress Code”, she said she wanted to take me with her after “Dress Code”. I never forgot that. I told her the theatre didn’t have space for me anymore and reminded her of what she said. She acquiesced and stuck to her word giving me tickets to her shows. When I talked to her, she was there, responding with speed, attention and care. It would have been easy to dismiss me but she didn’t. When theatre had turned it’s back on me and I had nothing, she was there, she was theatre and she was the best. Her show with Allen Committee “Same Time, Next Year” at Montecasino was awesome, she mesmerized me, such talent, I was in awe and she took me to Montecasino, something that raised my spirits because I was not on the square anymore. I will never forget Sharon Spiegel-Wagner, she was there for me, she’s the reason I stayed with theatre and she did it alone. She did take me with her, after the square, I was at two of her shows. I got VIP treatment, I had the best seats and got to see her and hug her after the show. Only good feelings about Sharon.
I came back on the square to watch some shows and was a regular again. They had some kid who replaced me. Good kid, good energy and we connected quite well but to be honest he wasn’t better than me. I was not intimidated at all, in fact I was relieved. True, I do have a bias that makes me think I am the best but I also give credit where it’s due. I didn’t think this new kid was going to last. I thought Regina was going to eat him up! I was happy he was there because he gave me space to maneuver around. With him around I’d be at the theatre more often and have zero responsibilities whilst engaging and living with the people in the theatre. The last time I was there, I didn’t control the narrative, I worked there for a month and towards the end I was painted as an asshole. A label I welcome because I had to be one. With the new kid there, I’d paint my picture, they would see me for who I was and not through unfair projections that weighed me down. I would interact with the staff and help out where necessary whilst avoiding being micromanaged and taking orders from the boss. It was perfect, let him do the job, I’ll take the credit, my plan was long-term. It worked out pretty well, the theatre was home again, every time I showed up I was greeted with a cold beverage and the staff absolutely loved me. When the theatre was packed I assisted the staff and Daphne would give me something in terms of monetary compensation. It was part-time work but I got what I wanted, I was working with autonomy. The new kid didn’t last, he was my replacement but I was working alongside him. I was doing his job better than him. He was the second replacement who couldn’t replace me, oh well at least he worked for a couple of months. After months of labor, Regina finally let down her guard and welcomed me back to the theatre. She gave me back my R100 and I apologized for taking the script, I acknowledged it was a jerk move and we have a new relationship. The truth is that I’ve been an asshole at times, I did her and the theatre wrong, I am not perfect. Still, she forgave me multiple times and tried to show me what was right. I realize that she fought with me so much because she cared. She was the only person who cared. She wanted me to do the right thing. I love her for that even though at times I couldn’t communicate that. Yes, I was selfish and egotistical but it was a defense mechanism. The world had not been kind to me. She gave me everything, she gave me a chance, she took me me in and I will always be grateful for that. I love her the best. Love flows, we are cool.
One day I came in to watch “Vincent”, a show I knew pretty well. It was their second run, their first run was successful. The show is highly acclaimed and was always sold out. I served as a member of the production team on the first run and I was happy to be a part of the crowd for the second. That’s when I met Sam of SamSays and we connected right away, with the greatest of ease. It was so easy talking to Sam, everything flowed. She was a theatre enthusiast and knew everything and everyone. She reviewed shows and went all around the country. We talked about theatre and the Springboks, the World Cup final was playing that day All Blacks vs. Springboks, a game we won! It was a perfect day, “Vincent” was a masterpiece and we won the World Cup. I followed her on her socials and we have been close ever since. She has taken me everywhere! She recommends the best shows and she helps out in every way possible. No hyperbole, Sam is the best thing that has happened to me in the world of theatre. She expanded my horizon and I met new and awesome people because of her. Her reviews are great and I rate her very highly. I never would have met Sam if I didn’t take that “Dress Code” script, I never would have connected with Sharon Spiegel-Wagner if it weren’t for that script. Taking that script is the best thing I’ve ever done. Theatre loves me post that script.
I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. I am flattered, but not in this life. You need to stop masquerading as my wife. Move along and find someone who will take you as a wife. You deterring the ladies who have a chance, so slanderous your stories and they starting to spread rife. Hate to be the bearer of bad news but you ain’t my type. Maybe the blade is in too deep but it’s only because it’s a knife. You don’t get this enough but I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. I am a popular guy and I have some options, you’re the kid in the corner who never gets adopted. You’re a special kid but this ain’t a contest. You just don’t fit the requirements to take the test. What can I say? Okay fine, I’ll hear you out, give you the chance to work your magic, run the catwalk, the expedition don’t need to be tragic. But at the end of the day I have to be honest, I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. You’re a good kid, pretty smile, find you a good guy who won’t mind walking the extra mile. I am looking the other way, it’s a bye. I’ve never been the guy to sustain a lie. You’re too mellow and yellow, can’t reach my level so a collaboration is a hello no! Good presentation, a wonderful try but I have to be honest, I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life. I walk naked in the gyms locker room to intimidate other guys with my massive cock, not just another Peacock. One night with me would surely rock, but you a nerd and I am a jock. Move over for the ladies who actually have a chance, I’ve never been attracted to you my whole life.
Earlier in the year I was feeling bummed out. Progress was there but money was on a snails pace. My mother was on my case and I couldn’t do anything about it because I was still living at her place. Like your peers are ahead and you aren’t even running the race. What she didn’t see is that I was still building a base. I am doing this alone, I have no connections. You are mistaken, you need to do your corrections. I am driving straight to the top and I have the directions. Making babies is easy all I need is an errection. My so call friends think they are better than me. Thinking because they bought beer they birthed me. So I got water and stayed in the social environment. I exist besides you not because of you. Money was at the root of my problems and so I was depressed. My friend came up to me and wanted to know why I was so depressed. It wasn’t something I could explain or something I wanted to talk about. She left it at that and went out to buy some beer. When she returned, she asked me if I wanted to squeeze her boobs and I replied in the affirmative. Then we drank beer and listened to some music. It was a clean job, I was good as new and all it took was just boobs, beer and piano. She’s a phenomenal girl.
Mesmerized by the female anatomy, my view of life changed when I saw her naked for the first time, fellas think I am whipped and acting without autonomy, banished from the world like a criminal for his crimes. But all that talking is benign, I love girls and they are all mine. Maybe I am whipped but that’s a sign, I could never commit to what happens after nine. I am crazy for girls and pussy is my asylum. I don’t discriminate against hot mums, instead I make them cum, hither to the great man, lick until the whole body go numb. I am a lover of girls, the fellas can take a hike. I prefer to be with a lady who can ride me like a bike, grinding and swirling all around my spike. I am a lover of girls, flip the switch with my tongue to turn off her lights. Nibble at her breasts to savior the moment cause they such a sight. I love girls, they are soft, smooth and have bosoms. The pussy is the best part and it’s at the bottom. While balls are a running gag cause they just dangling, hanging like a piñata. Swing on the balls and the man tumbles on the floor like a piñata. Balls are ridiculous, I have them, God was too conspicuous. Subtle is powerful, that’s why pussy is delicious. I am a lover of girls, even the ones with a strap-on and who wanna sit on my face. I can be submissive, you can be on my case. Dominance is your game and a strap on helps you save face. I am a lover of girls, they are life but they started as a hobby, interested in all types of bodies, make her moan and cry like a toddler who’s sobby. Girls are my profession, I’ve been addicted ever since, that’s my confession, they help me reduce stress and lower the tension, I could never do without them, they are my pension. I am a lover of girls, can’t do without them like an addict with a pipe, love screwing with them because of my pipe, make them wet and dripping with lust like a waterfall without the pipe. Line after line, I keep snorting cause they give me a high, intoxicated by their feminine aura, would take a poor girl even though she’s not Oprah. Round them up in my ark like Noah. I am a lover of girls, hypnotized by the sway of her moving body, everything changed when I saw her naked body, the homies lost their significance, I stopped chilling with them cause they are insignificant, she’s the girl who made me lose my innocence, now I am a lover of girls who can never regain his innocence.
On the 12th page and I still haven’t found something to jerk off too. My tolerance is high, things are not the same anymore, being exposed to big breasts doesn’t do it anymore. I think Google has a profile of what I consider the perfect pornstar. Big breasted but not too much, pretty, ethnicity or race not a factor, athletic and multifaceted with positions, takes the initiative, silicone a big no, I need something that will jiggle like jelly. Girl-on-girl hot but ridiculous with a strap on, cause after she fuck you in the pussy she wants you to suck that plastic cock. That’s dumb as a rock. There’s a lot you can deduce from a lady with a strap on, always on top and dominant, not willing to relinquish control. It ruins the whole experience for me, girl-on-girl is meant to be about reciprocity. Brazzers doesn’t do it anymore, it’s far to exaggerated. I understand the lust and the uncontainable libido but it’s far too x-rated. Rimming off the table, that’s not debated. Hardcore with anal is something that will never be curated. Threesome is perfect provided my conditions are met, two girls, two pussies and they must be wet. Two guys ruin the fantasy and I’d rather not partake in the act. One dick equipped with a pair of balls is my solemn pact. You can have more girls but the ratio of guys must be low. One dick for three pussies to commence with the show, or one dick for two pussies if you are slow. Strap-on’s are a no! They got no soul and she’ll know. XXX I love a man eater who will suck you off and lick like an ice cream cone. Cookie monsters too, she needs to scream when your tongue is in her zone. Now on page 16, avoiding the amateur stuff because they use models who are younger than 16. Big studio stuff is regulated and professional even when they enlist teens. I prefer models who take pride in their work and not too perverse, they ones who stimulate you and your partner so you are able to converse. Page 21, my cock is flaccid, my enthusiasm is flat like Coca-Cola without acid. How can I trip when pussy isn’t my acid? I’ve run out of pornstars and what I have on my feed is not stars. Maybe I’ll click on the video where they fuck in the car. Pussy licking at this stage is like a wound from a scar. XXX I need to check out new categories, maybe BDSM, I could be a sadist, the moans and groans are louder, the pain is thrilling, it gives you a rush, you feel alive, you get to explore the body like a voyager and when you arrive, you come like a waterfall, liberating your spirit from the prison of your body. XXX, I think I want to be in that story.
I love money. It makes me happy, everything costs something and with money I can buy what I want. I can go shopping, I can spoil my loved ones, I can help out at home and I can buy food to survive. I am a fast money kinda girl and I prefer getting money on my own. I am young and I know how to make it, all I gotta do is watch out for the police. Why do I gotta hand my money to a pimp? Give a nigga a cut for all my hard work to support him and does he support me? Not a 100% cause he got more bitches. The emotions of other bitches, it’s stressful, there’s a lot of emotions and problems, it ain’t worth it, just headaches. You also can’t leave when you want to because the nigga own you and when you try to leave he’ll beat you to a pulp and take your your stuff leaving you in the numbing cold and where you gonna go? You don’t know anybody and you don’t have a place to go. Being with a Pimp, nah, it ain’t worth it. Although you still gotta know how to work a corner, it’s competitive and bitches are sometimes territorial, especially if you are pretty and young, you become a target but most of the time there’s a camaraderie and we stick together. I am happy doing this alone, I don’t need friends, I don’t trust anybody, I prefer to be myself and stick to getting this money. Any girl can do it, you don’t need special traits or a pleasing personality although the latter helps cause they all gullible. One time, a young white girl came up to me saying she hadn’t done this before, I told her to stick with me for the day and in two days she was working the streets on her own. Once is sufficient to have you coming back for more, I see it every time. Cause when you need money and someone give you a $100 note or $120 it feels like a jackpot, like free money because sometimes you ain’t gotta fuck. Some guys just want somebody to talk to so you just offer your ears and be a compassionate soul, some have foot fetishes and just want to suck your toes, like I said jackpot, free money. Still, I can suck your dick for $30.
I am 19 years old now but when I was younger, I would get an excess of $2000 per day. I started off when I was 15 but I was on and off. Being with other girls led me to this profession. I remember a time when I took showers to rush back to the streets. Yes I was a minor but they believed what I told them and best believe I told them I was 18, but it doesn’t matter, they don’t care in any case, they fucked me even though they suspected I was a minor. The guilt made them pay more, $400 or sometimes even more. Young pussy is tighter. Nowadays money gets slower by the day. If I work from 5am I can get $1200 – $1500 on a normal day, $1000 on a slow day. My clients are mostly regulars and they pay $200. I charge them $150 – $200 depending on the client to use my room. I also work the internet. You can get good tips but only if you are not arrogant, be sweet with them, don’t rush him to nut, it’s a process and everyone runs on different schedules. When you are sweet to them, they like you and might ask you for your numbers. I don’t do anything I am uncomfortable with like kissing, like why, you don’t know me, what if I have STD’s, what if you have STD’s? It’s risky, I don’t compromise my life in that manner. I am the sweetest person ever and I don’t do bad things to anyone, I just live my life. I smoke weed but that’s just about it. I come from a nice home, good mother, I have brothers and sisters, everything changed when my father went to jail. I’ve been to jail too for prostitution obviously and that’s where I gave birth to my child. My mother is raising her. They don’t like that I am operating the street but what can they do? I am grown, they couldn’t stop me even when I was a minor. I know what I do is risky and dangerous and that’s why I don’t recommend this to anyone, anything can happen and chaos ensues. These days more and more minors are doing this, I was a minor when I started this, a 24 hour whore doing it every day and at any hour and although I am not a minor anymore, I am still a 24 hour whore. I’ve have never been raped, held at gunpoint or anything like that. The worst thing that has ever happened was getting out of a moving car, it was an attempted kidnap. My skin was grated and I had to go to hospital for a few days but I am still alive. It’s a fucked up attitude that will attract life threatening situations like rape and being held at gunpoint. Also you gotta know how to detect bullshit, your life depends on it. I love myself, what I do doesn’t affect my self-esteem in the least, I love everything about myself, I know I am pretty, I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror, I love my body, my ass and everything about myself. I don’t need anyone else to love me. Cause what is love? How can you believe that someone loves you? Show me you love me. Put me in a better position, buy me a big house, buy me a Rolce Rolls, do something. I don’t want love, I want money and yes, happiness too, because I do want to be happy, life is nothing without happiness. That’s why I don’t like friends, I don’t like associating with other girls because there’s too much drama, all they talk about is pimps, fucking pimps, smoking weed and other drugs but no money! When you are in this industry, you don’t need friends, money is the only thing that matters. I regret not finishing high school but I have it in me to get a degree. This is not going to be my lifestyle forever, when I am in my 20’s, 21 to be precise, I will be where I want to be and I’ll quit.
antakalipa 