Comedy

the assembly improv show

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The Assembly Improv show

Improv – make something up, think on the spot, go with the flow, zen, Bruce Lee, be like water, be formless, quick witted, puns, irony, sacarsm and it has to be humorous! Let’s break the fourth wall, you there, yes you reading this, listening to this, yes hi, happy new year, acknowledge me, make things easier for yourself, I am not going anywhere.

On the square for the Assembly Improv show, filled to the brim, full house. Was with SamSays, it was a great show, unpredictable, spontaneous, quick witted and so funny. We couldn’t stop laughing, we were entertained from the first minute to the last. What I found to be most effective in Improv, is calm. You have to let things process, be in the moment, respond not react. Reactions are filled with anxious energy and that’s not humorous because you bulldoze the act and spoil the tone of the scene. Relax, let other performers have the spotlight. You don’t have to be in every scenario. Listen – don’t bulldoze and overpower others. Anxiety is nervous and not sure of itself, it roams around everywhere, attempts to do everything, please everyone, and it ends up having the opposite effect because it hinders the performance of the other performers to flourish. Calm is controlled, it exudes power, charisma and assurance. When you are calmer, you can be playful and ironic and your punchlines carry more weight. You listen to respond and not to strengthen your view. There were moments of calm and anxiety in the show. I understood the anxiety, entertaining a full house can be exhausting and emotionally draining. It was still a great show, light-hearted, filled with humor and completely unexpected. The show comprised off 6 acts. They improvised about chicken, boyfriend builders, being a little gay, earthworms and burning your mother’s tyre’s.

I loved the two sisters of Case Closed, Megan and Tash Casey. They had a lot of chemistry and complimented each other. They were quick witted, quirky and humorous. The girls of Mechanics of Chaos were simply outstanding! They stole the show, the audience couldn’t stop laughing, they were totally in sync, they complimented each other, they built on each other’s scenes, they listened and added to each other’s scenes, they stuck to performing the scenario the audience gave them; the boyfriend builder and they looked like they were having a lot of fun. I loved them because they were not searching for laughs, anxiety was not a factor, they were in the moment, they loved performing for the audience and it reflected with their performance. Shout-out Itu Chiloane, Mmasehume Raphiri, S’bahle (Sparkles) Hlophe, Sonia Mayor, Tafadzwa Chakanya, Unathi Shongwe and Zanele Sokatsha for a wonderful set. Shout-out to everybody, the gradient, the off cuts and thirst trap. Thank you Daphne Kuhn and the team for the whole experience. Yet another one from Bronwen and B-Sharp entertainment – thank you. Congratulations to The Assembly Improv show and a deserved standing ovation.

Live Your Life – Play

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Live your life – Play

I am convinced that God is a comedian. Life was never meant to be serious. We humans complicate the process. We desire, we envy and postpone the present for an hypothetical future. We suffer more in imagination than reality. We love the illusion of control, we insist on micromanagement, we hold tight and firm to our preconceived notions, we want things to happen our way. God laughs because much of what happens is spontaneous. No one knows anything real about life. Even the term “real” attempts to make sense of what just is, an impossibility, that’s like biting your own teeth. Life is obsurd, no one has the answers, if someone had a cheat code then the game wouldn’t be worth playing anymore. How can you take serious what dissappears right before your eyes. I once had a girl who professed feelings of love towards me. I asked her are you serious or are you playing with me? She said she was serious and I was disappointed because I wanted her to play with me. Who wants a serious girlfriend? She be clinging on to me, suffocating my space, preserving me out of insecurity and controlling my perception of reality. Nah babygirl relax, calm down, it’s not my responsibility to make you happy, you must do that for yourself and then we will be happy together. I am not your world, get the fuck outta here! I am amazed with the mind games that people play on a daily, the sly manipulations and gaslighting to get you to do their bidding for them. Don’t get me wrong, I know that people control and manipulate me everyday, some tactics I see like the marketing and advertising that’s prevalent around me, some manipulations are paternal, they have been happening ever since I was born, some manipulations are to control frames to make sense of our interactions in the world cause somebody has to be passive and compliant to have a successful interaction, two alpha wannabes interacting won’t get you far. I love when women attempt to manipulate, the crocodile tears and the victim mentality, I always laugh, oh you a good actress but overt manipulations don’t work on me. Life is funny, it’s play. It’s not a coincidence that people who are successful in life do what they love, it’s not work for them, it’s play, they get to do what they love everyday and there is a glow about them, they are shining stars, they are fulfilled, they are happy. It’s play, they dance for the sake of dancing. The musicians, they play music. To play with no end game in mind, that’s the purpose of life. There’s a contrast in people who work and not play in their professions, they can’t wait for the day to be over, they are absent-minded, they postpone their happiness, they live in the future, their present sucks. You see it with all the serious professions like defence, your soldiers, crippled by PTSD and living life with paranoia. The need to be serious all the time, they are not happy. Why would you want to be serious all the time? That’s not life. It’s so unfortunate because the present is all we ever have, to deny it, is to deny your life.

Life is play, everyday is an opportunity to do what you want, to engage in what you love, to be around people who enhance the quality of your life. There’s wisdom in “YOLO” which translates to you only life once. You have to take play seriously! That’s why we get together with the gents, buy 48 Corona, 2 bottles of Hennessey, smoke Chronic to set the mood and the whole day is on autopilot. We play, we have fun, we connect, we live in the moment that’s now. It’s counterproductive to be with people who don’t share your values, people who you don’t see eye to eye with, the playing experience won’t be optimal. It’s a waste of life. Why would you want to be with someone you don’t want to play with. The rules of play are governed by two simple rules, respect and reciprocity, it’s give and take, give pleasure to receive pleasure. Simple cause and effect, that’s how you know it’s truthful. Albert Camus once said the real question of life is to whether to commit suicide or not. Why would you want to play if the activity doesn’t give you pleasure? 9 to 5 working a job you hate for a boss who treats you like crap and doesn’t like you. The pay is horrible and you can’t even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore. Isn’t it wise to end the game? The location is already pre-determined, death. No one can escape it, everyday you move closer to it, it calls out your name and the sound rebounds like an echo until time. We take life way too seriously when it’s already determined, a formality. Why? What for? You won’t survive it, even if you live longer, you won’t survive it. Life is play, every day is play, you are the Universe experiencing itself, you are not separate from it, you are it like everything around you, you are just a different expression, live your life, you choose how to live it, play, be happy, don’t be too serious, life is not serious. Play, be in the process. Love the process. Do the things that you love and be with the people you love. Play, be like a child in the moment, be immersed in the present, block out the external world, people’s thoughts about you, they don’t matter, they never have, the only thing that matters is what you think about yourself, play, find flow, laugh, be silly, feel the wet grass from under your feet, run, explore, be yourself, find the expression that’s truest for you, embrace your individuality, play, be all that you can be.

Kaffers, Negros and Jews

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Kaffers, Negros & Jews.

There’s something funny about blatant racism, it’s not disguised like a mask or make-up for a George Lucas film, it’s in your face like a pimple, it’s direct like counterattack, the message is simple, you are beneath me like limbo. Humor centers around human nature, humor is human nature, it humanizes, it is tragic and like life a comedy. Humor is used to communicate superiority, it is a mechanism for suppression. Humor is used for relief. Humor is about inferiority. Mein Kampf is your definitive example of humor. Hitler is a bad motherfucker who blames the injustices of life on the Jews, he makes them the butt of the joke. He is small, petty and hateful. He calls the Jews bloodsuckers among other things. He is Hell’s orator, handpicked by the Devil himself. He propogates an image of fifth and unworthiness. Thank God he’s not a Jew, he’s perfect and was chosen by God and natural selection, the hypocrisy of it all! Like hey, “my God has a bigger dick than yours so I am going to kill your whole people”. Human nature is such a humorous subject. Apartheid is the funniest topic of them all – honorable mention the KKK, they have a flag, a uniform and burn crucifixes. Led by Dr. Daniel Malan, it is oppression at its finest. Imagine a political campaign centered around the term “Swart gevaar” which translates to “Black is dangerous”! The National Party fought the election on the twin slogans of “Die kaffer op sy plek” (the nigger in his place) and “Die koelies uit die land” (Indians back to India). Straight out of a scene from Mississippi Burning. 12 Years a Slave and Barry Jenkins’ Underground Railroad deserve a mention. I am convinced apartheid was a beef based on dick sizes, you know the stereotype about Africans and their cannons and whites with their palette guns. Where do you think the term “Mandingo” comes from? No it doesn’t originate from Tarantino’s “Django Unchained”. It comes from white racist slave owners to refer to the blacks huge dicks. All racism is a psychological phenomenon about dick sizes. I have additional proof, read Freudian Psychology, it’s a sensitive issue, whites are insecure about size. It’s only natural that the Kaffers and Koelies become butt of the joke, the punchline. You detect a bit of Nazi? You’re right! The National Party refused to support Great Britain and publicly sympathized with Nazi Germany. Dr. Daniel Malan serving as South Africa’s Adolf Hitler! As the Nationalists put it, “Die wit man moet altyd baas wees” (The white man must always remain boss). This is definitely about dick sizes, like “we hate everyone operating 9 inche equipment”! It’s so unfortunate that every man of color is classified in the 9 inche category, death by stereotype. To Hitler & Dr. Malan, I empathize with you big dicks must be intimidating! The insecurity makes me tear up, like a girl with small tits who supplements them to make them look bigger. The blatant oppression is a punchline on its own like “Big lips one side and whites to the otherside”, that’s the only criterion, that dictates your future.

I once had a teacher in high school who had a student stand-up in class and asked “You know what’s the difference between you and me?”. He held a pencil vertical to the students nose and the pencil touched his lips. Horrified a couple of us let out a nervous and uncomfortable laugh. It was a joke that bombed. The class wasn’t impressed considering it was a dig at all of us, we were Kaffers and he was Afrikaner. It wasn’t like Ms. Morello on “Everybody hates Chris”, she’s naively racist, but actually funny and she genuinely loves Chris (not really). I have to admit I like the character of Ms. Morello even though she’s a racist, she knows a lot about black culture, is enthusiastic and cheerful and let’s not forget dates black guys. Still her stereotypes are brutal, I am often torn apart between laughing and being flabbergasted. She’s the only racist with a green card in my book and like Chris, I can let her comments slide. Quite clearly she’s ignorant but she usually means well, I detect empathy in her tone of voice, she attempts to be understanding, she is not a malicious person, maybe passive aggressive and condescending but it’s a sitcom, I appreciate the work of the writers. Uncle Ruckus is the best racist character ever, that right there is pure comedy gold! Joe Rogen doesn’t get a green card, he called black people Apes, that wasn’t entertaining Joe, I mean you walked into a cinema in a black neighborhood and it was like “Planet of the Apes” – DAMN! Oh yea Joe, you not exempt from using the “n – word” NIGGA! Remember when Booker-T called Hulk Hogan a nigga? The regret on his face after he said it was priceless, cause the dreaded word just slipped out, that promo is the funniest of all time! But I digress. With my high school teacher, it was sadistic, it was an abuse of power and he was actually the minority, the pencil demonstration was a blatant middle finger. “What a racist fucker” was the internal monologue, so small minded, sad and primitive. No self-awareness, he thought he was making a joke but it boomeranged and laughed at him. He is honestly lucky there wasn’t a riot against him. The failed attempt at humor seemed to highlight everything that was wrong about him. He hanged himself with his own rope, it was sad, he was pathetic. There’s something funny about blatant racism.

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Live Your Life – Play

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Live your life – Play

I am convinced that God is a comedian. Life was never meant to be serious. We humans complicate the process. We desire, we envy and postpone the present for an hypothetical future. We suffer more in imagination than reality. We love the illusion of control, we insist on micromanagement, we hold tight and firm to our preconceived notions, we want things to happen our way. God laughs because much of what happens is spontaneous. No one knows anything real about life. Even the term “real” attempts to make sense of what just is, an impossibility, that’s like biting your own teeth. Life is obsurd, no one has the answers, if someone had a cheat code then the game wouldn’t be worth playing anymore. How can you take serious what dissappears right before your eyes. I once had a girl who professed feelings of love towards me. I asked her are you serious or are you playing with me? She said she was serious and I was disappointed because I wanted her to play with me. Who wants a serious girlfriend? She be clinging on to me, suffocating my space, preserving me out of insecurity and controlling my perception of reality. Nah babygirl relax, calm down, it’s not my responsibility to make you happy, you must do that for yourself and then we will be happy together. I am not your world, get the fuck outta here! I am amazed with the mind games that people play on a daily, the sly manipulations and gaslighting to get you to do their bidding for them. Don’t get me wrong, I know that people control and manipulate me everyday, some tactics I see like the marketing and advertising that’s prevalent around me, some manipulations are paternal, they have been happening ever since I was born, some manipulations are to control frames to make sense of our interactions in the world cause somebody has to be passive and compliant to have a successful interaction, two alpha wannabes interacting won’t get you far. I love when women attempt to manipulate, the crocodile tears and the victim mentality, I always laugh, oh you a good actress but overt manipulations don’t work on me. Life is funny, it’s play. It’s not a coincidence that people who are successful in life do what they love, it’s not work for them, it’s play, they get to do what they love everyday and there is a glow about them, they are shining stars, they are fulfilled, they are happy. It’s play, they dance for the sake of dancing. The musicians, they play music. To play with no end game in mind, that’s the purpose of life. There’s a contrast in people who work and not play in their professions, they can’t wait for the day to be over, they are absent-minded, they postpone their happiness, they live in the future, their present sucks. You see it with all the serious professions like defence, your soldiers, crippled by PTSD and living life with paranoia. The need to be serious all the time, they are not happy. Why would you want to be serious all the time? That’s not life. It’s so unfortunate because the present is all we ever have, to deny it, is to deny your life.

Life is play, everyday is an opportunity to do what you want, to engage in what you love, to be around people who enhance the quality of your life. There’s wisdom in “YOLO” which translates to you only life once. You have to take play seriously! That’s why we get together with the gents, buy 48 Corona, 2 bottles of Hennessey, smoke Chronic to set the mood and the whole day is on autopilot. We play, we have fun, we connect, we live in the moment that’s now. It’s counterproductive to be with people who don’t share your values, people who you don’t see eye to eye with, the playing experience won’t be optimal. It’s a waste of life. Why would you want to be with someone you don’t want to play with. The rules of play are governed by two simple rules, respect and reciprocity, it’s give and take, give pleasure to receive pleasure. Simple cause and effect, that’s how you know it’s truthful. Albert Camus once said the real question of life is to whether to commit suicide or not. Why would you want to play if the activity doesn’t give you pleasure? 9 to 5 working a job you hate for a boss who treats you like crap and doesn’t like you. The pay is horrible and you can’t even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore. Isn’t it wise to end the game? The location is already pre-determined, death. No one can escape it, everyday you move closer to it, it calls out your name and the sound rebounds like an echo until time. We take life way too seriously when it’s already determined, a formality. Why? What for? You won’t survive it, even if you live longer, you won’t survive it. Life is play, every day is play, you are the Universe experiencing itself, you are not separate from it, you are it like everything around you, you are just a different expression, live your life, you choose how to live it, play, be happy, don’t be too serious, life is not serious. Play, be in the process. Love the process. Do the things that you love and be with the people you love. Play, be like a child in the moment, be immersed in the present, block out the external world, people’s thoughts about you, they don’t matter, they never have, the only thing that matters is what you think about yourself, play, find flow, laugh, be silly, feel the wet grass from under your feet, run, explore, be yourself, find the expression that’s truest for you, embrace your individuality, play, be all that you can be.