Another Amy II

Another Amy II

God gave me another Amy and this one, well she’s absolutely perfect. Better than my best dream. The last Amy was a projection of my insecurities. She moved on and I felt stuck. She was doing something while my efforts failed to produce something. I knew I was great but I was broke as hell. I felt like a loser. She was a girl I loved but she was not Amy. She felt like Amy because I lost Amy. She was one of the last girls I loved. When I saw her happy with another person, I felt my spirit pierced with a dagger. I had to concede that I was not good enough. I had no real power. I was wrong because I never really made my intentions clear with her. I never told her that I loved her, I was content with just being friends. She deserves better, I was selfish, I am glad she met someone who makes life worthwhile.

God gave me another Amy and this one, well she’s absolutely perfect. She’s beautiful, artistic and intelligent. Symmetrical face, great body, long black hair, brown eyes oh, I think I am starstruck! She’s a superstar, everything I’ve ever wanted. She can sing Amy Winehouse songs and Rap like Nasir Jones. She’s also proficient on the piano, able to recite Mozart’s concerto with her eyes closed. She’s a perfectionist who can communicate her ideas, she executes better than a German. She plays for a living and strives to create in every moment of life. She was a headgirl at school, that’s my third headgirl and I feel she’s the best. I never thought I’d be in love again and yet here we are. Her mind has me whipped. I had never met someone so amazing in my life. She saved my conception of reality. She gave me hope for the future. I had always wished for someone so amazing but it was all in my head until it finally manifested in real life. Yea, she’s real life. I guess that’s the results of following your dreams. If you consistent in following through some of them actually come true. She’s a byproduct of content, I was pushing through with the dream not making much money and I saw her and fell in love with her. I loved her from the first day and I knew that things would be good for the rest of my life. She was a starting point. She represented a new reality, one I wanted to be a part of. A reality I would be a part of if I just followed content and my inherent nature. I am glad I sacrificed all those basic bitches because now I get to have the real thing. Even if she’s not the one, I am now in a paradigm of everything high value. I made myself high value.

God gave me another Amy and this one started everything for me. Things started moving, life fell into place, I started creating with a business mind, started interacting with high caliber individuals, started becoming the person I always knew I was. Of course she might leave like all the other Amy’s in the past and I am good with that. She gave me hope. She gave me reassurance that I was on the right road, she was the proof. She made me fall in love again, I became infatuated again, I started writing about love again, she saved my life. And even if I don’t get another Amy, I’ll be okay, I’m good.

Cultured

Cultured

After high school, I started a clothing company with a girl I used to attend primary school with. Her name – Lethabo. I only knew Lethabo for one year of my school career, but I liked her. We had a natural connection despite the fact that I was the new kid. She was real and authentic. She was smart, lively, creative, passionate and had no problems putting me in my place. I avoided verbal misunderstandings that would lead to conflicts with her, she was quick witted and often left me mute. Still, we were cool most of the time.

I hadn’t talked with Lethabo since Primary school and now we were done with High School. I reached out and she was enthused. I got her numbers and we talked on Whatsapp about our impending futures. Her energy had piercing spikes. She was creative as ever and our conversation had a lot of substance. She had an entrepreneurial drive that was contagious. She was ambitious, she wanted to do and be someone great. She had a lot of plans. She was animated. She excited me! She told me she was thinking of starting a fashion stable. She was inspired by Malaysian, Saudi Arabian, Indian and African designs. I thought that was the coolest thing ever! In my mindseye I saw something artistic at the same time unfathomable. Like abstract art she caught my imagination, I was intrigued, the prospect of her vision inspired me. I was thinking of creating a company of creatives myself so I suggested we collaborate and build something special. Let’s create your fashion stable and when it takes off we can diversify in other artistic markets and domains. She liked my idea and agreed. To make it formal and professional, I advocated we create a legal entity like a company to protect ourselves from liabilities. She agreed and so we started brainstorming names for our company. I liked the fact that the inspirations came from all around the world and it made us limitless and boundless. I imagined our clothes being popular culture. She had the vision of our clothes being worn by celebrities. She was thinking niche and exclusive but also a “ready to wear” range. I loved the word “Culture” because it has a connotations of expression, artistic and creative. Our clothes would be handmade crafts that transcend time and created trends. I suggested we use “Cultured” as a name. She absolutely loved it!

I registered the company and started work on our logo and website. I send her a couple of drafts and she chose the logo that’s still our official logo. I worked on our website and it’s still active, take a look “culturedrituals.blogspot.com”. Lethabo enlisted help from her designer friend Athenkosi and we started creating. We bought fabric and started work, the enthusiasm was unbelievable! We created our first range and had a photoshoot. It was great, people loved our work. The momentum slowed down when our sewing machine broke down. Bad timing, it was too soon. We couldn’t fix it, it was too expensive. Lethabo also started Law School and Athenkosi committed to his tertiary studies full-time. I took up a call center job so I can put myself to Varsity and still push the dream. I had a grand vision and I knew from the start that capital would be an issue and I never wanted to be limited so I searched online for options. What caught my attention was trading Binary options, the worst option ever, it’s equivalent to burning your money, just pure speculation, but I needed quick results. I lost a lot of money because of desperation and foolishness. I still can’t believe I fell for Binary Options and Trading robots, it’s so embarrassing. Binary options led me to Forex, which is better because your money doesn’t disappear all at once like poker and there’s the illusion of control because you have technical analysis and candle sticks but it’s still speculation and I lost even more money there. But it helped me, I am grateful for the experience, I am wiser. It’s okay, I fought for my dreams with everything I had and I have no regrets, there’s nothing I could have done better, I am proud.

I am grateful for Lethabo and Athenkosi, thank you God for that wonderful gift. Also thank you for coming to my 21st birthday celebration Lethabo, I really appreciate it. Maybe one day we will have the opportunity to rekindle what we started. What we did was amazing especially considering we were scattered all around. I was in Alex, Lethabo was in Tembisa and Athenkosi in Kempton Park but we all showed enthusiasm to meet up at the mall 2 times a month to discuss business. We were so professional and committed. No excuses, no postponements, everyone was always present. We had memos and agendas, it was greats. We showed desire, we showed initiative, we gave everything to the process.

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Stephanie McMahon slap post

Stephenie McMahon slap post

Renee Decarte argued the essence of being exists in two realms, the spiritual which can be interpreted as the subconscious and the physical and I think he makes a very compelling point. I mean look at nature for example, it just is. If I were a Lion I’d be the most conscientious Lion ever or at least a creative Lion working at a circus or something because my spirit is creative, that is who and what I am, a God, a creator. Beauty is generally the seducer of men so when someone falls in love with your spirit that’s different, that’s special because like Freud said, everyone is a narcissist. That’s why you gotta slap a bitch sometimes to deliver some consciousness, shout out Stephanie McMahon the hottest in the game with that swing game. When someone falls in love with your spirit, that person sees the possibilities of your dreams that you no longer see because you have been narrowed and hardened by the environment that you occupy and society. When someone loves your spirit, that person sees you in a light that you will never see yourself. You need to selfishly keep that person in your life for as long as possible. That person will help you experience being and being requires becoming.

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