Another Amy

Another Amy II

/ antakalipa / Leave a comment

Another Amy II

God gave me another Amy and this one, well she’s absolutely perfect. Better than my best dream. The last Amy was a projection of my insecurities. She moved on and I felt stuck. She was doing something while my efforts failed to produce something. I knew I was great but I was broke as hell. I felt like a loser. She was a girl I loved but she was not Amy. She felt like Amy because I lost Amy. She was one of the last girls I loved. When I saw her happy with another person, I felt my spirit pierced with a dagger. I had to concede that I was not good enough. I had no real power. I was wrong because I never really made my intentions clear with her. I never told her that I loved her, I was content with just being friends. She deserves better, I was selfish, I am glad she met someone who makes life worthwhile.

God gave me another Amy and this one, well she’s absolutely perfect. She’s beautiful, artistic and intelligent. Symmetrical face, great body, long black hair, brown eyes oh, I think I am starstruck! She’s a superstar, everything I’ve ever wanted. She can sing Amy Winehouse songs and Rap like Nasir Jones. She’s also proficient on the piano, able to recite Mozart’s concerto with her eyes closed. She’s a perfectionist who can communicate her ideas, she executes better than a German. She plays for a living and strives to create in every moment of life. She was a headgirl at school, that’s my third headgirl and I feel she’s the best. I never thought I’d be in love again and yet here we are. Her mind has me whipped. I had never met someone so amazing in my life. She saved my conception of reality. She gave me hope for the future. I had always wished for someone so amazing but it was all in my head until it finally manifested in real life. Yea, she’s real life. I guess that’s the results of following your dreams. If you consistent in following through some of them actually come true. She’s a byproduct of content, I was pushing through with the dream not making much money and I saw her and fell in love with her. I loved her from the first day and I knew that things would be good for the rest of my life. She was a starting point. She represented a new reality, one I wanted to be a part of. A reality I would be a part of if I just followed content and my inherent nature. I am glad I sacrificed all those basic bitches because now I get to have the real thing. Even if she’s not the one, I am now in a paradigm of everything high value. I made myself high value.

God gave me another Amy and this one started everything for me. Things started moving, life fell into place, I started creating with a business mind, started interacting with high caliber individuals, started becoming the person I always knew I was. Of course she might leave like all the other Amy’s in the past and I am good with that. She gave me hope. She gave me reassurance that I was on the right road, she was the proof. She made me fall in love again, I became infatuated again, I started writing about love again, she saved my life. And even if I don’t get another Amy, I’ll be okay, I’m good.

Another Amy

/ antakalipa / Leave a comment

Another Amy

Are you telling me I am about to lose another Amy? God give me a break. Nah, this is uncalled for. This is unfair, I did everything you wanted. Why are you doing this to me? My goodness, I just can’t catch a break. I don’t accept this, nah I deserve more. I just can’t lose another Amy, they are limited and it’s not just that, he won’t enable her to fly and that what she deserves, the sky, the solar system, the milky-way, everything! I’ve lost so much, I have sacrificed so much. Currently, I can’t offer you much but the other guy can. He is strong and masculine and I am just chasing dreams. Money is slow and has been that way for a while, it’s the reason we are in this position. Success for me isn’t guaranteed, I am one of many. Why would you want to be an entrepreneur? Trust me, it’s an overrated experience and reality is not as glamorous. I believe I am the best but that’s not enough, a billion men have perished. I wish it didn’t have to be this way but I accept, after all my strategy is long-term. Maybe Amy isn’t the one, I dread that relevation because it means I have to start all over and I don’t have the energy to project and experience things anew. I doubt I have it me to fall in love again, theres a hand full of Amy’s and they are all taken. Time elapses and life difficult so I understand, I wish you all the best. What a pity, she had everything, the boobs, personality, the face, body, wit, the brains and just about everything! She was perfect but I accept, you are my sacrifice. At least you were mine for a while. I set you free, I wish nothing but the best for you. You deserve beautiful things.

I did love you Amy, I had plans. But life is difficult and never goes according to script. I had it all figured out but Mothernature doesn’t care all that much for my plans. Sometimes I think that I will never fall in love again. It’s difficult for me to fall in love, you were an exception and then I got another exception and now all my exceptions are gone. Deja Vu, it’s the past repeating itself. I am losing another Amy.

PS. When I was in high school, I wrote a poem for a concert that I was going to participate in. I thought the poem was good but I wanted feedback. My friends weren’t going to give me constructive feedback and so I asked Amy, she was in my class. I trusted her judgment, I thought she was amazing. When we were seniors in Primary school, she beat me in a speech competition. I was great but she was better. I gave her my poem and the next day she told me what she thought. As she was delivering her verdict I zoned out a bit and stared at her boobs but I recovered and heard everything she said, don’t judge me! True, I was thinking and picturing her naked but I was still listening! She wasn’t impressed with my poem. Her remarks was that there wasn’t feeling and emotion in my words. It was superficial and I did a lot of unnecessary rhyming. She said my words lacked empathy and compassion. She said she understands that it might be too hard for me considering I am a boy and she’s referencing things that come easy for her because she’s a girl. Then she gave me an example of what she was talking about with a poem about hands. It was so descriptive and emotive, her adjectives were powerful and rooted in reality, there was feeling and her words had empathy. Her poem felt real and personal. Her example caressed my spirit. I changed my poem and wrote another one. She changed my writing style and my artistic process. She made me realize that feminine traits are artistic in nature. I learned to caltivate these feminine traits like empathy, listening more, compassion and understanding throughout my young life and my work has gotten better. I am better. Also, I can attract the opposite sex with the greatest of ease, it’s not an ego thing, it’s just what it is. Trust me, I can take your girl if I wanted to. My reworked poem turned out great too, the crowd loved it, I loved it. I implemented her advice. She made me a better writer, I am still reaping the fruits of that interaction. I pray God gives me another Amy.