Where do I even start? How do I begin to express myself? What do I even say? I don’t think words alone are sufficient for me attain your numbers four you are 1 in 500 000.
I am sorry, I don’t mean to be cheesy and I am not using Cheddar to try and lure you in a trap for I am well aware you run the streets and the underground.
The beautiful thing about the bottom is the sky is what you taught me, you believe in love, happiness and you just make my heart beat. Faster is an adjective to describe how time moves when I am with you. A lapse in time is an eternity in rue.
My beautiful 100 hectares our souls are intertwined, bonded by something more than science. Every time I try and leave my heart screams out in defiance. Or is it just psychological warfare?
My mind is fountained by thoughts of you and the memories we shared. You are the cannonball splash that makes every woman and man wet. Dripping with authenticity, sparkling like wine, your volatile personality erupts like oil in a mine.
My beautiful 100 hectares, you hold the route to my soul. Our minds like clay can be moulded and created by the artist. Modify me to a plane so I can soar above you, to see the world, explore and make my way like a monarch butterfly.
My beautiful 100 hectares contain me in a bigger box, with space to move around and windows without bars. Bar me from suffering so I can make the world a better place. The world can be our oyster- the world can be our plate. All I need is a reservation and I promise I won’t be late.
Magnificent Goddess I am sorry, I apologize. I am not usually like this. It’s just that, I have always believed in following what shines brightest to you. But that never works in real life. I take everything back. For insinuating you whack could forcefully put me to the sack. For you are the Jack of all trades, the enforcer of every raid and up there with the greats.
My beautiful 100 hectares walk tall, with stiletto heels that were custom made for your feet. You are the authoritative figure, illuminate us with your beauty like a street light. For you are more exhilarating than a street fight, a sight more breath-taking than the eclipse at night.
My beautiful 100 hectares, you created matrixes’- worlds, in which we could create characters for ourselves. On Friday, I am Zlatan, on Saturday Messi and success is determined by the number of times I put the ball between legs. The dangers and repercussions usually nutmeg our untrained clay minds but it’s worth it. For in the weekend, I am free.
My beautiful 100 hectares, I think I have the formula for life. It was blurry at first but I got better lenses and changed the orientation of the page. My hope often withers like autumn and in that moment it’s cold and windy. But I am comforted by the fact that I come home to you. For you are warm, funny, carefree and happy.
The world is already this big matrix that I will never explore. My life is already on auto-pilot Just as long as, I have my Television set, my smartphone and my weekends, I will be okay.
All my life I’ve been told that I wasn’t going to make it. Like “you just an Alexandra boy. Have you ever seen a successful Alexandra boy?”. Lol, Wow! The negativity, written off and marginalized before I even start. Of course I’ve always shunned off the statements and stayed defiant, choosing to take one step at a time. With humility, my head down I have always risen above the hate and negativity. I am not stupid, I know I am slightly disadvantaged but I am not a victim, I’ve never been one. My gameplan has always been to do more than required and with time my efforts have compounded. Going the extra mile is something that is now automatic and it has made me distinguished. I raise my head and I find myself in different circles. I am the only person who looks Iike I do. It’s crazy, I did it, my head is above the water, I made it. I still meet black people with a house niggas mentality, the Steven’s on “Django Unchained” and they assassinate my character in attempts to get me to react but it’s all so funny to me because by probing they have confirmed I am “Bright boy” the exceptional nigga. I never thought I’d see the day my leather jacket became the scapegoat. They are scared of me, no words can put me down. They can’t control me, they can’t manipulate me, they try to cut me out but it’s a bigger picture and they can’t photoshop me out. The little township boy is in their face and is not going anywhere, instead his accruing power, moving from class to class, creating relationships, dominating the court, I can fit in anywhere, I am a social butterfly, they can’t do anything to me because I am playing the game! Now to diss me is to reflect their hypocrisy and ignorance. The little township boy keeps on rising.
Little township boy, don’t let them tell you, you can’t do it. It’s all in your head, you can accomplish anything you want. Anything you want in the world is yours! You can get it, believe in yourself, stay with the process and care enough. When you rise up, they will try to bring you down. Keep moving.
P.S. It was Reginah who said I would never make it, she cited the fact that I was from Alexandra and wore a leather jacket as the reasons. She did everything to break my spirit but she couldn’t. Cognitive dissonance on her part because she knew I’d already made it but acknowledging it was difficult. No biggie, I appreciate the negative energy to feed on.
“Disrespectful, arrogant, weed, Alexandra, leather jacket! The audacity! Who do you think you are? You are so forward”. Thank you so much for your projections and stereotypes. Funny how I am reduced to a few words, an attempt to marginalize and control me. I’ve reached the ceiling and breaking out is the next step but to keep me grounded is the plan. I have become too big for my shoes and the plan is to keep me barefoot. Cause if I realize my worth and get new shoes it exposes their raggedy shoes. “Stop being so brilliant, you exposing us! Keep it down, slow down, dim down the shine, fly lower, don’t forget where you come from, Little Alexandra kid”.
Arrogant, weed, Alexandra, Leather Jacket, you are nothing without me, I made you! Made who? The entitlement! If you made me, make another me. Move out of my way, you are a hindrance. Stop searching for relevance you are a fossil. The leather jacket is a staple of who I am. I smoke chronic and I live in Gomora. I am arrogant because I know my worth and you need audacity to be successful. Disrespectful? Only when it suits you? Being older doesn’t hand you privileges. Respect is a two-way street. Why should I respect you when you don’t respect me? You marginalize me to keep me beta. Stick holes through my confidence with knife edged words to affect my frame and string me along like it’s a game. But you are so lame. I’ve met people like you and you all the same. Plagued by insecurities and the need to always be on top. Penis envy has you contemplating penetration but it’s the womb that starts a nation. You hate me and my leather jacket because I have a dick! You are blocking the path, get out of my way, you are slowing me down! Success and fortune is ahead, I’ll never stop until I am ahead cause I’m disrespectful, arrogant, smoke weed, from Alexandra, forward cause I am the future and wear a black leather jacket like a character from ‘The Sopranos’. Screw you, your words don’t affect me. I am going to do and be everything I want and nothing is going to stop me. I am the best, I am the greatest. If you insist on being an obstacle then I’ll make you the way, I’ll smash right through you. You try to break me down because you are intimidated by me. You assign labels because it gives you a grip. You are frightened by me and my leather jacket. In the end the little kid from Alexandra will have it all.
I have loved movies my whole life. I remember when I was a kid aged about 8, I used to go to Kings Cinema located on 2nd Avenue, in Alexandra Township every week! Kings was the greatest place in the world and I am not even exaggerating, it was better than heaven, it was bliss! I don’t think I’d like heaven all that much, the thought of church all day, singing and worshipping for all eternity doesn’t appeal to me. Look thank you for saving me God, I appreciate it but could I checkout the service once in a while? I mean it’s heaven, give me a break. While heaven doesn’t appeal to me all that much, I wouldn’t mind being locked in King’s Cinema for all eternity! They played great stuff! For just R5 for kids and R7, later R10 for adults you got to watch TWO movies! One Kung Fu and the other one a Hollywood movie. The Kung Fu movies were the best! We were always so entertained, the crowd loved them! I am talking about Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and all those other Chinese guys who kicked ass. It was always an experience, the movies were funny, they were always about revenge and honor, that’s when I fell in love with Cinema, I credit Kung Fu movies. I think that’s why I loved Kill Bill so much, it felt familiar like nostalgia, I even dreamed about it, I could not get the bride out of my psyche and she stayed with me until my late teenage years. I still can’t get over Kill Bill, it’s a masterpiece. I remember watching Shaolin Soccer and cracking up real good, the audience loved it. Shaolin Soccer was a King’s special, the posters inside the cinema were never removed, I remember it had a frame. All the other posters were changed and removed every week to advertise what was showing next week or in the foreseeable future except the Shaolin Soccer poster. It had that aesthetic, that feel, it described what King’s Cinema was all about. There was a program and when you purchased your ticket you basically agreed to spend your whole day at the Cinema. The box office opened at 12:30 pm and would sell tickets until 13:00 – 13:30 pm. After 13:30, the gates are closed and no one comes in the theatre. Once seated the first movie comes on, usually a Kung Fu movie that plays for 2 hours or so and then there is a recess, a little intermission so you can buy your Popcorn and snacks for the second movie – the main movie, what you came to the cinema to see, the big box office movies like Mission Impossible, Spiderman and Rambo. Hardly no one bought popcorn and snacks for the first movie but the stand was still open nonetheless. The Kung Fu movies were like preparation for the second movie but we loved them anyways, to tell you the truth, sometimes they were better than the big Hollywood movies. The second movie would play until like 17:30 to 18:00. So you would be in the cinema from 13:00 to 18:00 but it didn’t feel that way because time flew!
I loved how economic King’s was. For the day I needed just R12. That would be enough for the entrance, popcorn, juice and sweets (smarties). I would go there Saturday and Sunday and R24 would suffice, sometimes R20 for two days would do. But when I went with a grown-up I would get everything! I’d get Popcorn, Coca-Cola not Juice, a hot pie and sweets! Every time I had a hot pie and Coke was a great day! I remember the days like it was yesterday, the first time I went with my cousin and we watched Spiderman. The next time was with my mother and we watched X-men 2. Pie was expensive, it cost R7 and Coke was R5! My mother would give me the R12 to get me off her hair, she never complained. I loved the cinema, I’d go with my friends most Saturday’s, and on Sunday when they went to church, I’d go again on my own. I remember watching “Gladiator”, oh my lord, it was so epic! Like “Are you not entertained? Isn’t this what you came for? Spaniard! Spaniard! Spaniard!”. The audience in the cinema went crazy! Spaniard was our hero, when he died at the end, we felt an injustice like something was amiss, we hated the fact that Spaniard died but we understood, everything was stacked up against him and at least he killed the villian and restored order in the kingdom, it was a bittersweet ending. We loved movies with action, fighting and violence! The whistles would reverberate in the theatre and we actively cheered for the hero! Love scenes in the cinema were also cool but sometimes awkward and uncomfortable, most of the time you’d hear wooing. When the hero kissed the girl there was always an applause and whistles, we loved it! I also remember watching Troy, ah! It was such an awesome movie and the audience loved it. To tell you the truth, I’ve only watched the movie once, I forgot the plot but I remember the name of the movie and Brad Pitt was awesome! I watched a couple of Harry Potter movies at Kings but not “The Goblet of fire”, that installment I watched in the cinema at Sandton. When we watched “Passion of the Christ” everybody was emotional, the mood was tense and serious. You could hear sobs everywhere in the cinema. Even my friends didn’t talk to me, their gaze was fixed on the screen and they totally ignored my attempts to disturb them. It was strange and uncomfortable, even my friends cried for Jesus. I didn’t like “Passion of the Christ”, it had a lot of subtitles and I got bored following through the story, I didn’t understand what it was about. Still I remember that day vividly because everyone in the cinema was crying for Jesus and I felt guilty because I didn’t cry. I finished the day thinking I was going to hell, thank you for the feelings of guilt and shame Mel Gibson, fucken asshole. Mission Impossible 3 was awesome, that’s your definitive King’s movie in terms of engagement with the crowd, it had the audience going crazy in a lot of scenes! Tom Cruise didn’t disappoint, he did the impossible. I have two movies that could rival Mission Impossible 3, that’s “Cradle to the grave” and “Romeo Must Die”, reason being Jet Li, the hood loved Jet Li! His movies always filled up the cinema, Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Jet Li was the ultimate hero and he would beat the bad guys clean, everyone in the cinema cheered and whistled him on. He had a strong crowd. Kings was an experience, for me it was a place where I went to be myself. I relaxed, I laughed, I cheered, I rested my feet on seats, I interacted with the stories, I fell in love with cinema, it is my whole childhood. I spent a lot of my life in that cinema and I watched a lot of movies. Thank you King’s for everything!
The Universe has been telling me to change my ways but I’ve been too steady and complacent. It’s my fault, I deserve the robbery. It was a typical Friday and I had on my SpongeBob shirt, my awesome silver Cassio watch, my neck beeds and my classic “Champion” jacket. In my pocket I had my keys and my Mint cellphone. It was a signature great day. I went to my friend’s which is a 18-24 minutes walk and we had a great time. At around 1 o’clock in the morning, I decided that I want to go home, I was tired. So I walked back home. I know it’s irresponsible to walk home so late especially in Alex, Gomora but I’ve been doing this for years. Plus I don’t think I would be robbed, hurt or killed. You see the most important thing is the walk, it is your posture, your steps, you have to project a confident aura and no one will fuck with you. Your shoulders must be broad and open, make that alpha walk an inherent part of you. Look like you might do shit! That’s what I learned and it has served me well thus far. Plus, I have Inside knowledge, I chill with niggas who rob and steal at the corners. The insight I’ve gained is that niggas are hungry, I can relate, they don’t want trouble, in fact they are good guys, they don’t want to hurt anybody, they just want your possessions so they can flip them. It’s that simple, they are professionals conducting a transaction, I can appreciate that, I understand. It is Darwins survival of the fittest, they don’t have much options, go for the weakest prey. I made myself a target. No one is born with hate in their hearts, the truth is that we all need to do what we can to make it through. This is true for everyone in the world and so everybody can relate. Besides if you are dumb enough to walk alone in the AMs of the morning, you probably deserve it. You are passive and comfortable. You think life is a given, the Universe needs to shake you up. That’s what happened to me.
For the record, I don’t think I’m passive and comfortable, I just feel that there’s nothing that I can’t do. I live life with no fear. I feel that there’s nothing I can’t handle and I do what I want. Besides niggas bleed just like you so I am not scared of anybody. If you are going to win, win because you have a better hand. They had a better hand. I was walking alone in the dark, the place was quiet as a graveyard. If you had dropped a pin the sound would be audible. My strides were long and fast paced. Then out of nowhere 3 guys appeared in front on me. One guy approached me and cocked his gun. The sound was cold and metallic. “cling-cling”. It was death appearing like a bad dream and I was lucid. I stopped but I was unfazed. I was trapped. I was under their control. I was calm, everything was just surreal. I knew what they wanted. I understood their mentality. I decided to cooperate and give them what they wanted, it wasn’t like I had a choice. The guy with the gun was like: “we got you now, you didn’t think this day was coming didn’t you, welcome to hell” but in vernacular. Another guy came up to me and started searching me to the third guys demands. I was still cool, undeterred, not bothered, I accepted the situation for what it was. To be honest, I knew that this day had to come sometime. I was relaxed, they got nothing of me in terms of emotions, I was blank as a canvas. They instructed me to keep walking forward while they searched me and so I did for a while. They took my phone, my keys and my watch and so I stopped walking. As if to signal, enough guys you have everything, now can I go back to my life? I was still in control, they can’t deny me of my will. As I stopped, they stopped, that’s when I realized my power and saw weakness on theirs. They were accident murderers, you know, shook one’s. I didn’t challenge them because they might hurt me to prove their dominance but I was superior. Niggas is reckless when they have power in their hands. One bad move or misplaced comment and ‘Bang Bang’. So relax. My control of the situation was subtle. Being passive and listening to their demands gave them the illusion of power. When I asserted myself, they didn’t know what to do because I had cooperated at first, plus they already had my phone, watch and keys so it wasn’t worth it. As I stopped walking and listening to their demands, they guy dictating the robbery said, “take that Champion jacket too.” I was shattered. They took it off me and all that mental superiority evaporated like steam. I felt helpless as a new born baby. After they took my jacket, I just left because I still had my pride. I didn’t let them dismiss me, I didn’t give them that power, they never had that power. All they had was a tool that helped facilitate the reposition process more effectively, that’s it. It was a professional encounter, they took my valuables, no one was hurt, the process was smooth and everybody was happy. I was happy too because I got to test myself in a high pressure situation and it didn’t get to me. It was like I was above the whole situation like Jesus when he walked on water. It was a stress test and I passed with flying colors. I was patient with them. I read the situation, their body language, their mannerisms and followed the cues. I learned that emotional intelligence is everything because we are all emotional creatures. Moreover for them because their lives are dictated by the amygdala, fear and survival makes up their reality. I learned that love triumphs fear. Have humility. Be soft, yield, be like water and move with the waves, anything other than that is counterproductive. Be present to people’s emotions and mannerisms so you can at least have a chance to guide the ship. I don’t blame them because they are my brothers and I love them, I understand. Life is difficult and on that day I was the sucker who made their excursion worth it. Overall it was a successful robbery like the last scene of “Pulp Fiction” and I am Samuel L. Jackson.
It helps being minimalist because the things they took are not worth much in terms of monetary value but sentimentally they meant everything to me. I transferred a lot of emotions to my watch, jacket and cellphone. Kalushi gave me that Cassio watch with a lot of love. It represents friendship and our pure entrepreneurial drive when we started our farm with big plans and dreams in mind. He is a good friend and I feel they took his spirit away from me. My cellphone was 6 years old, KG, a legend, one of the best people I know recommended that I buy that cellphone back in 2015. It was such a deal! A steal really. It cost R100 and it had Bluetooth, radio, internet, mp3 and had a 4gb memory card. Back then a 4gb memory card alone cost R80! But for R100 I got a phone with all those features and a memory card. It makes sense that Kg was the one who spotted that deal because his a legend and that deal was so legendary. It feels like they took the wisdom of Kg away from me. And my “Champion” jacket was bought in the 1990’s in London. It belonged to my father. It was vintage and so cool, I loved it, it was my favorite jacket, it somehow toppled my leather jacket. They took a gift that was hereditary, something with value and substance. I am gutted but that’s life for you and as you grow up things get taken away from you. This forsters growth and the opportunity to evolve because change is the only permanent thing. I am grateful for the experience, I know it’s all God’s plan. This is to make me better. I am happy it happened because now I get to reflect and concoct a way forward. There’s a beauty in seeing life as a blessing, a gift.
I was hungry. I sent some kid playing on the street to buy me a Kota, except that we don’t call it that here in Gomora, it’s “Sly wat-wat” but we just call it Sly. And it’s 2-3 slices of bread instead of the quarter bread. Inside the sandwich are your usual Kasi champions: Chips, Polony, Archar Special, Cheese, Vienna, Russian, Egg. I gave this kid R20 bucks. A couple of minutes later, he came back with my sly and change. I was worried, why did I have change? I requested him to stay a bit while I searched the contents of this Sly. As I feared no Chesse, no Egg and catastrophically no Russian. Just Chips, Polony, Special & Archar. I told him to keep it and gave him the R8 change as well. It’s your lucky day kid, enjoy! I can’t live life without no Cheese. That’s not what I see when I look in the mirror. At least have some Cheese nigga, damn, that’s the bare minimum. I went to 5th Avenue, Johnbrant, “Ko Chef”, I bought “Dj Black Coffee”. It had Chips, Polony, Special, Cheese, Archar, Russian & Egg. “That’s more like it”, I thought. You have to eat like a real man. Don’t settle for a meal with no cheese.
antakalipa 