You strike a woman, you strike a rock!

You strike a woman, you strike a rock!

SamSays delivered the through ball and I controlled and finessed for the match ball, hatrick! I deliver over and over again. Thank you Sam, SamSays on the credits.

I was at Joburg Theatre to watch “You strike a woman, you strike a rock” (Wathint’ abafazi, wathint’ imbokotho). Live theatre at the highest level. The play is set in the Apartheid era, PW Botha is the president, the story world is plauged by inequality, social injustice and poverty. The story opens with a Helicopter scattering, hovering and surveilling the location. The residents hate the roaming Helicopter, they call it a bird, they see it for what it is, spying, surveillance by the government. They curse and swear at every time it features in the show. This describes the relationship the people of the story have with the  government and unjust system. It’s hate, resentment, they feel oppression and utter contempt for the system. We are introduced to the three main characters in a typical market in the Transkei. Children and chaos co-existing in the market, Mambhele and Mampompo sell chickens and Sdudla sells oranges and vetkoeks. They all operate their stalls illegally without permits or permission. The threat of the police or authority is ever present. It’s a woman’s world and men are hardly present. These women fight on a daily to secure their families future, money is tough to get and they work hard. Seeing that opportunities for money are few in the Transkei, they move to a township in Cape Town. In the world of the township, violence prevails as the unrest is prevalent. It is a story-world that is not fair for women, they are easily fired from work by their white employers for coming late, their transport issues not factored in, they are sexually abused for standing up for themselves at the farms and deadbeat unemployed husband’s drink away the family’s money at the shebeen. Despite everything, the women stand strong and they miraculously prevail in this unjust, unequal and in different world.

Money and survival are paramount in this world, we see Mambhele practically prostituting herself to sell chickens, letting her customers interact and touch her inappropriately, boob grabs and just about anything that gets the job done. Mampompo is notorious for robbing his customers change and hiking up prices. Sdudla is surprisingly level headed out of the three. It is physical theatre at its best, sounds of chickens and objects in the play are mimicked to perfection. The performers created a realistic environment, we were transported to their world. They imitated chickens, busses, babies, windows, knocks on doors and the protests on the streets. They have tremendous stage presence and chemistry. They know each other instinctively and intuitively on the stage, they just flow, they just play. They fully embodied their characters on the stage, it was convincing, humorous, wholesome and relatable.The characters are 3 dimensional, they have hopes, dreams and fears. The conversations and interactions felt natural. The play is in English but has an Eastern Cape dialect, you can hear the Xhosa accent and undertone. The characters are alive, they are real, they exist. The performance and acting is just incredible! The performers have incredible range, they were serious, humorous, tearful, excited and Ziaphora even regressed to a child. Incredible endurance and stamina too – a lot happened, they created magic, they were simply amazing.

Barileng Malebye plays Mambhele, Keitumetse ‘Kitty’ Moepang plays Mampompo and Ziaphora Dakile is Sdudla. Excellence all around, live theatre at its very best.

Congratulations Rorisang Motuba and the whole team and a deserved standing ovation.

The cry of Winnie Mandela

The cry of Winnie Mandela

At the Market Theatre to watch “The cry of Winnie Mandela”. If you had the opportunity and honor of asking the mother of nation a couple of questions, what would they be? Stompie? TRC? Mandela FC? Her 400+ days in prison? Why her union with Nelson didn’t last and what could she have done better if anything?

The show starts off with a writer thinking out loud, watching a news bulletin about the murder of Stompie. It is alleged that the Mandela FC team kidnapped and murdered him. There’s uproar and chaos considering Mandela FC is Winnies team. “She changed, she’s not the same person. She used to be warm, empathetic and compassionate, but now I don’t recognize her” – these are some of the sentiments expressed from the screen from commentators. The writer is in a room, he is thoughtful, he wants to write Winnies story from her vantage point. Then four african women appear from his imagination. They are real women, full of personality and quirks. They are humorous, they give the show color, range and dimension. The four women share their stories with the crowd about how their husband’s left and they are still waiting. The stories are personal and emotive, they test their resilience, resolve and character. The crippling angst of loneliness, one woman explores Can Thembas “The Suit” set in Sophiatown about a woman who commits adultery. She too flirts with the idea of committing adultery. One of the women is easy prey for a young man who targets her because she is isolated and alone, they engage in casual intercourse but it stops when the rumors in the townships start circulating. One of the ladies man leaves her for a white woman after she was his backbone, supporting him and his dreams. The women call out the double standards, would he wait for her if she left? The ideas of patience, commitment and resilience are put through a microscope. The ladies want to know how Winnie was able to do it. They play a game which results in Winnie Mandela magically appearing. The ladies are awestruck and commence showering her with questions. Questions about her and Nelson, the TRC, her days in captivity and her secrets to resilience. She answers them with a lot of personality. The last image of the play is off a quote about her being happy with everything and how she would never change anything.

The show is simply wonderful. The performers are real, familiar and relatable. It was easy to connect with the characters because they made themselves vulnerable so early on. The interactions with each other on the stage felt natural. You knew the characters on the stage, they felt alive. Language was not a barrier, words from other languages was borrowed for expression and authenticity. It was not language for the sake of form but language for expression and the story world. When the performers performed, their faces lit up. They fiercely delivered their monologues and sang with a lot of passion and love. The lighting was cool, I saw one detail that blew me away. On the floor you could see the reflection of a window. The show is simply irresistible!

Les Nkosi plays Prof. Ndebele (writer) , Rami Chuene plays Mannete, Ayanda Sibisi plays Delisiwe, Pulane Rampoana plays Mamello, Siyasanga Papu plays Marara and Thembisa Mdoda-Nxumalo plays Winnie Mandela.

Congratulations Momo Mansunyane and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

Culture takeover

Culture takeover

I’ll take it from here, relax you’re tired, you can’t go further that this. Time has elapsed and you’re no longer the shit. It’s alright, it happens to the best of us. Impermanence means that things never last, the bones stultify and everything turns into dust. You were good but your prime is in the past. I’ll takeover culture now, I am younger, faster and I’ll milk any cow, to make cheese, I’ll settle the invoices, mute voices and make time freeze. I’ve got the equation for immortality, win without technicality and walk on water casually. I’ll takeover culture, I am the best, I’ve beaten all the rest, repel bullets without a vest and breath fire with my chest. Checkmate, this is chess, you disposable like a pawn, fucked on camera like a porn and I am here to save your soul like the lord. Relax, let me handle this, the drinks are on me, unlimited with variety cause everything is on me. I’ll takeover culture you’re bound, conflicted with new found responsibilities you can’t play the sound, I got speakers and they loud, blasting to serve a whole nation or a crowd. I’ve been here from the start, serving people with my art and pumping blood into the organism like a heart. I am consciousness, five world cup tournaments like Messi and I am not done, it’s about to get messy, have you on your knees begging for mercy cause I have longevity like Pepsi. I’ll takeover culture, the ladies love me, lips irresistible and plump, they all kiss me, I’ve been everywhere cause they all lease me, I’ll takeover, the culture needs me.

UNDISPUTED

UNDISPUTED

I am undisputed, champion of the world, greatness is constituted by God and the style prostituted by pussy ass niggas who attempt to fuck up the world with what I initiated but you lack charisma and you just hated. You can never climax at the top even if you masterbated while I come all night, all day, implanting seeds in your mind to make you grow and make this dough. I am undisputed, on top of mount everest, beating everybody to prove I am the best, pull the plug on your ass to give you permanent rest, why because I can, prohibited like a ban, flow crazy deserves to be in the can, Mr. Steal your girl and defeat your man. Damn! I’ve been winning ever since, where yall niggas, making light work on you like mince, secretive like a sphinx, I’ve been winning ever since, where yall niggas? Who wants to challenge me niggas? I am undisputed, sitting on a Throne that I looted, took it from a weakling king that I booted, banished him from his castle and he left muted. I am the one, I wear the crown and I am far from done, illuminate the town like the sun, head down to penetrate the cunt, sorry, I’m obscene, sometimes I paint pictures with my words to create a scene, if this were a horror movie, you would scream cause I devour punani like cream! I am undisputed, everything you see is mine, look at the signs, obey and we will be fine, wanna be a hero and we will take it aside, turn you into a sweater and make your insides your outside.

Bitter Winter

Bitter Winter

The tedium of going to castings, you risk it all and gain nothing for your efforts, you saw people who are just like you in the waiting room, some even prettier than you, willing to do the same job, what’s done is done. The casting director lady has seen it all, the frizzling enthusiasm of youth vanish. First couple of months, you had the spirit, but lately you just coming in to mark the register, until you win or lose hope. You thought you did your best and that you’d get the part, so you wait and wait for a call that never comes. Indifference, it’s like you don’t exist. Agitated and flooding with anxiety, you offered to shoot the scene again but were met with “No thanks, that’s not necessary, we have everything we need”. There’s nothing you can do, it’s not in your hands. They decided against you the moment you left the room, meanwhile you’re living in hope, painting dreams in your mind that never come to fruition. Broke. A nobody. That call back is everything, you get another chance, the chance to meet the director, this could be it.

I was at the Pieter Toerien Theatre for the opening of the Paul Slabolepszy’s, play “Bitter Winter”. Amazing play, brilliant in it’s execution. I was with SamSays, we were in B3 and B4 – at the very front. Thank you Collett Dawson for the weekend. Alan Committee was super great the day before with his show “Olympic Gold”. He is up on the podium with a Gold medal with that performance: incredible delivery, quick witted, energetic, on his feet, interactive, very humorous and just a straight-up banger! Comedians are the cleverest people, providing social commentary, reflecting reality in a humorous undertone and helping us mould our human existence in an environment where everything goes, I was laughing throughout, it takes a lot of hard work and mastery to be Alan Committee, he makes it look so easy, so effortless, the show is just pure comedy gold.

The play is set in a Casting directors office, call back, two guys are cast, old has been guy, with present guy. Present guy is angry and hostile at first, his character arc progresses and he opens up to the old has been guy, that’s when he starts being open with us, the audience, music on his headphones is off and put away. He walks in the scene avoident and closed off, secluded, trapped on his phone, listening to music on his phone – Kendrick Lamar “Money Trees”. Present guy is cast as the main guy, the old man is led into believing that he is cast for the role, only to reveal in the last minute that he is not cast. Someone from overseas filled the role. The play has a lot of heart. It is beaufully craft, perfect in a way that only art can be, excuted by performers who love what they do – the performers were extraordinary, performing with purpose, being in the moment, embodying the craft. The show has personality and quirks, it is relatable and humorous. As the play progressed we learned about the protagonists lives, their families, their past, we became invested. The set was office-like, backdrop, Jozi. Andre Odendaal plays Jean-Louis Lourens, the old has been guy. Oarabile Ditsele plays Prosper Mangane, the present guy. Chantal Stanfield plays Felicia Willemse, the casting director lady. The play is just brilliant. Congratulations Lesedi Job and the whole team and a deserved standing ovation.

Winner

Winner

I am a winner, I am competitive, I never stop. I create systems and follow through until I am on top. The pick of the crop, my reign showers fields to ensure supply never stops, I deliver and demand triumphs a cops. Most wanted, five star performance every time, rig the game to take your last dime. I am a winner, better than a sinner, focus intensified better than a fat man at dinner, come close and I’ll kill ya, leave you bloodied like an encounter with a spinner. I am simply better, leave your girl wetter, have the public write you off, we don’t need no letter. I am a winner, I am always number one, the spotlight is on me, you’ll get it when I am done, who can stand alongside me, the answer is none, nobody can fuck with me like a nun. I am the best, the leader of any conquest, I’ll give you preferential treatment cause you just a guest but if you get on my face I’ll doom your ass cause you’ll be a pest. I am a winner, I have all the trophies, the budget is high so we don’t tolerate no low fees, bro please, stand aside so I can teach you how to appease, I am the consciousness of culture, haters in circles over my body like a vulture but I’ve got reserves stacked up like vouchers. I go overtime, I kill to solve the crime, get dirty to remove the grime and stand on the Throne to show its mine. I am a winner, I’ve got the calves to prove it, I’ve got stamina. A marathon runner with the speed of a sprinter. Penetrate resistance like a splinter, go deep like coitus in winter. I am a winner and all I do is win, win, win no matter what, I am always the victor.

THE PILLOWMAN

THE PILLOWMAN

Set in a totalitarian state, that’s always fun. The subtext communicating that darkness and lack of control prevails. The story world is uncertain, suspicious and not sure of itself. It seeks resolution, justice and truth. The bounds of morality are put through a microscope. What’s right? What’s wrong? Are you right for suffocating your parents with a pillow because they abused you as child? Is taking another life ever justifiable? Definitely not a show for snowflakes. Murder, blood and torture are a running feature in the show. There’s indifference in the murders by the characters for humors sake and just sociopathy. The story starts off in an interrogation room when a writer Kutarian is questioned of the murder of children resembling and mirroring what he wrote in his short stories. The details of the murders and his stories are identical. The detectives even find tangible evidence in his house of the victims severed body parts. The deaths are gruesome and graphic, from razor blades shoved in the throat to toes being cut off leading to bleeding to death. The writer Kutarian claims innocence and the detectives Tupolski and Ariel press down on him heavily to get the truth out of him, deploying “good cop, bad cop” and torture techniques. Kutarian’s brother Michal is also in custody in another room awaiting the same brutish treatment. Michal is a “special” case and the words retard and slow are loosely used to describe him. It is revealed that he is the killer and not his brother. Finding out the truth, Kutarian murders his brother in a jail cell and takes the fall for everything, hoping to spare his brother torture and preserve his writing for years to come. In the end, he too is put to the sword but his work survives for another 50 years.

Unbelievable story, I simply loved everything about the show. The subject matter dark and uncomfortable but it was under the hands of expert storytellers. A couple of hours with an interval, we went deep into the story and understood what motivated the characters. The writer Martin McDonagh is the real hero. The writing is simply exquisite! The pacing of the show, the dark humor, the sharp wit and sarcasm – it contributed some comic relief to a tense storyline. The miniature stories told throughout the story using animation and art projected on the screen was a great touch. We had visual aids, we could see the stories the performers told. That was such a cool experience, I’ve never experienced theatre like that, it’s risky, unsettling, cringe and out of the comfort zone theatre. The show was captivating, a real thriller, I was locked in that world. The performers were outstanding, they stayed in role even after the show was over. They didn’t even take a bow, the story and ending didn’t call for them to take a bow. Darkness just permeated until the auditorium was lit indicating that the show was over. If I were to rate it, I’d give it perfect stars – all the stars! It was an immensely satisfying show.

My hat goes off to Hugh Becker who played Katurian, the writer who initiated all the chaos. Ildi Kungl who played Tupolski, detective number 1 and good cop. Tebogo Tladi who played Ariel, detective number 2 and bad cop and Wentzel Lombard who was untouchable as Michal. Congratulations Paprika Productions for an amazing show, definitely coming back for a second run. Thank you Daphne Kuhn and Theatre on the square for another classic.

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift

I always liked Taylor Swift, especially in her country days. My earliest experience of her music was “Speak Now”. It has one of my favorite songs of all time “Never grow up”, an acoustic guitar-led ballad about time, youth, growth, nostalgia, life. It’s beautiful and personal, it always made me reminisce about my life, my experiences, my childhood, simpler times when everything made sense. The lyrics are so descriptive and vivid, the guitar strings you along the different perspectives. How I wish I lived in a loop where youth is forever, time stands still and the smiles lasted an eternity. It’s an emotive song, it’s tragic, life goes on and we all grow up. The album also contains “Mine”, “Sparks fly”, “Dear John” and another favorite of mine “Mean”. Her writing always distinguished her from everybody else, she writes with a lot of feeling and from real life experience, you feel her words anchored in reality. I always liked Taylor Swift and when she released her fourth album “Red”, I went to the music store and purchased the CD. I loved “Red”, it had “Starlight”, “Begin Again”, “Everything has changed”, “Sad beautiful tragic”, “The Last Time”, “Holy Ground” and “Stay, stay, stay”. It also had your chart toppers like “22”, “I Knew You Were Trouble” and “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”. It was great album, still love this album to this day, my last Taylor Swift album, I lost touch after “1989”, ironically, that’s when she really took off! She’s an icon now, selling stadiums is easy, topping charts is a given, platinum records automatic and four “Album of the year” Grammy awards – no one has ever done that period.

I always liked Taylor Swift, she’s the biggest gangster in the game, when she releases an album everyone else changes their release dates. She re-recorded her albums because the record company was playing hardball with her masters – ownership, they will never give you what’s due to you, exploitation is the name of the game. She took her publishing and re-recorded the music so she can own the masters. She redistributed the music as “Taylor’s version” and they sold better than before. She is the first billionaire with music as the primary source of income. The lesson? Ownership will make you a Billionaire. 14 Grammy awards and just about every conceivable award in music – Taylor Swift, the biggest gangster in the game.

Showtime Australia is having a Taylor Swift tribute show of different eras at the Joburg Theatre in April and Bronwen invited me for a meet and greet with the star of the show, Josette. She’s leaving for Australia in a couple of days to prepare for the show so it was imperative that I meet her. She’s pretty and she loves Taylor Swift. Her first experience of Taylor was at home on the internet, her broadband disappointing, she could only stream the first 15 seconds of “Teardrops on my guitar”, so she played it over and over again. Her favorite album is “Fearless” and the self-titled album. I love the fact that she has been with Taylor from the very beginning. The show is a blend of different eras, we had different costumes that dazzled with sequins to illustrate this. From the country days, to Red, to her current era. All in all, 7 eras, the show promises to be a great one. She’s enthused, there’s a sparkle in her eyes, she’ll be performing the music of a cultural icon and she’s still alive, Josette knows she has to bring it, there will be an expectation. She explained that she won’t go out of her way to be Taylor Swift, that’s not possible, she’s still alive, selling out stadiums in the process – no one is expecting that, she will perform as authentically as she can embodying Taylor’s stage presence and mannerisms and honoring her in the best possible way. It’s a tribute show of a cultural icon, one of the most influential people in the world, the biggest gangster in the game and Showtime Australia is behind it. This is going to be a great one, I can feel it.

Royale with cheese

Royale with cheese

Cheeseboy son look at the shoes, look at the watch, look at the car, this shirt costs more than you make in a month. I got the latest gadgets, ladies get wet when they see me, the style screams see me and I know you do. I could buy the whole shop and you know I do. Cheeseboy son, Royale with cheese, charisma scotching hot and the swag is a breeze. Kenny’s family is poor always begging please. I’ll give you a lease on the style so you won’t have to be parasitic like fleas, I take over any charges with interest and added fees cause the presence is huge and intimidating like a beast! Cheeseboy son, can’t tell me nothing, Royale with cheese. Don’t be mad cause I am doing me better than you doing you. Just give me an invoice and I’ll settle what’s due. Buy your love with alcohol and bounce that’s my queue. You can never compare to me that’s cute. Let’s laugh at Kenny, his family is poor. Cheeseboy son, lunch is on me. The bar is open and we can drink until three. No need to worry about the costs cause I got the keys, to unlock any woman with resistance, just say my name and they will cease to show all of this resistance. Cause the name is consistent, make it rain to make her dance like strippers who are persistent. Cheeseboy son, Royale with cheese, look at the pool, it’s heated. My stature is bigger than yours when I am seated. I got maids, I got cooks. I can get you laid, improve your looks. Cheeseboy son, Royale with cheese, I could change your life, only if you’re honest and loyal like a wife, the money could be rife. Cheeseboy son, just tell me what you want and I’ll deliver, you’ll be on your knees, I’ll make you a believer. I can move you up that list and get you that liver, only if you acknowledge your best position is silver.