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The Fall

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The Fall

I was at the Market Theatre for the opening of “The Fall”. The place was filled to the brim and gushing onto the floor. So much so that the auditorium couldn’t accommodate everybody with seats, some people sat on the steps. The venue was exuding radiant energy and it was contagious. Excitement was in the air and everyone was beaming. I also met Bongiwe Potelwa, Yay! Thank you for the invite Bongi.

Set in 2015 at the University of Cape Town, South Africa. This piece of protest theatre explores issues of race, decolonization, social inequality, upbringing, the #rhodesmustfall movement and the #feesmustfall movement. It follows 7 students with different perspectives, backgrounds and ideals, united by one cause bringing down the statue of Cecil Rhodes. The statue is a symbol of colonization and it doesn’t reflect the current times and ideals of an African University. Instead it divides and perpetuates racism among the students and the staff. It is a symbol of oppression, privilege and the white man’s dominion. It is like a persistent dark cloud hanging over them. The students converge and discuss the possibility of bringing it down. One student suggests taking it down with a chisel and hammer, while another contemplates a truck. Ultimately, the statue is taken down with the help of a helicopter but problems still persist. It is announced that tertiary fees will increase by 12%. This enrages the students of UCT, it’s not like they could afford the fees before the increase. A lot of students are from economically disadvantaged backgrounds. They rely on government aids and loans to continue with their education. NSFAS is not always the answer, sometimes they don’t approve applications and when they do you have to prove to them that you are poor. Of course you are poor, that’s why you are trying to build a better life for yourself and your family but the government are making it so hard. The students get together and discuss their right to free education. This results in a protest and the #feesmustfall movement is born. Stellenbosch University students join and it spreads like a wildfire resulting in a nationwide shut-down of all universities in the country.

The show tells the story of the two movements beautifully. It also explores feminism, masculinity, racism and inequality. It’s easy to relate with the characters, they are real and the conversations between them are naturalistic. Like conversations with your friends, they are free, open, funny and silly. They are not hindered by language, instead they mash it up, communicating in a way that feels authentic to the characters. African languages are integrated because the characters are South African. You can see yourself in their image and hence relate and emphasize with them and their struggles. The actors on the stage are brilliant and captivating, it is a performers paradise. They fully inhabited the characters worlds. It was convincing, it felt as though they were telling their own personal stories. From voice intonation, usage of the stage, monologues, singing, protests – it is a masterclass.

I loved everything about the show, shout out to the cast:

Tankiso Mamabolo
Sihle Shona
Sizwesandile Mnisi
Tshepo Matlala
Mosehlana Mamaregane
Kevin Narain
Leche Tangee

Congratulations Mahlatsi Mokgonyana, Billy Langa and the whole team for a superb show and a deserved standing ovation.

Pieces of me

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Pieces of me

I was at the Market Theatre for the opening of “Pieces of me” by Bo Petersen. A poignant play about family, belonging, race and identity. Set in the era of apartheid, the story world is plagued by inequality, segregation and racism. A time of the bompass, when you had to carry your identification documents at all times to gain access to parts of the country. This law severely limited the movements of black South Africans and was viciously enforced by the police with violence and jail time being norm for perpetrators who didn’t have their identification documents at hand. A time of Prohibition of mixed marriages act, an act that made it illegal for a white person to marry any other race, the immortality act, an act that barred sexual relations between whites and non-whites, transgressors could face up to 7 years in prison and the infamous Group Areas act that designated certain areas for certain races among other stringent, harsh and unfair acts.

Pieces of me explores Bo’s life, about how her father classified as “colored” marries her mother classified as “white” and the emotional toll of having to live in secrecy because of the laws imposed on them. After falling in love and having having 5 children together, her father passes off as white, a lie if discovered could send him to prison for 10 years and destroy the family.

Bo Petersen tells the story from different perspectives, her father’s, aunts and grandmother, breaking the fourth wall at times to talk to the audience to make them feel what she felt. The message is powerful and emotive. The acting unbelievable! She also enacts the roles of her aunt, father and grandmother. She is a great storyteller and inhabits all the stage. She is expressive with her body, language and overall demeanor. The set although minimalistic is effective. The hanging suit serves as a homage to her father, it has a presence, a spirit of its own and Bo interacts with it. The lighting nuanced and intimate. Christopher Petersen plays the keyboard and he sets the tone for the play, working alongside Bo to curate the story throughout.

Powerful story.
Powerful performer.

Congratulations Royston Stoffels for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

INGRID ‘N VLAM IN DIE SNEEU

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INGRID ‘N VLAM IN DIE SNEEU

We attended the premiere of this beautiful adaptation of a tragic South African love story last night. A musical and poetic story revealed by the published collection of letters in Vlam in die Sneeu: Die liefdesbriewe tussen Jonker en Brink, love letters exchanged between Ingrid Jonker and Andre Brink and spanning the length of their relationship between 21 April 1963 and 27 April 1965.

It was a passionate and volatile relationship and they loved each other fiercely.

3 months after writing her last letter to Andre, Ingrid committed suicide by walking into the freezing Atlantic Ocean in Three Anchor Bay and drowning.

I loved this production – a glimpse into the lives and love of two beloved South Africans. Lizelle Pike is beautiful as Ingrid. Ethereal, broken, fragile, giddy with happiness at times and deeply sad at others, overwhelmed by the love she feels for her daughter, Simone, lost, lonely, abandoned, deliriously in love, and eventually defeated. She conveys the essence of Ingrid perfectly – a literary icon with raw emotions, who loved fiercely. I love how light footed she is and the attention to detail – the barefoot girl, in the long red shirt. The blue coat. The yellow teddy bear. The waves crashing.

Poet and writer Jak J Brits weaves Ingrid’s words into a powerful narrative enriched by original compositions and his adaptation allows her poetry to resonate with the modern audience.

The emotions of the piece are interwoven with original new music inspired by Jonker’s poetry. The songs are beautiful and fitting as musical director and pianist Chanie Jonker accompanies Lizelle on stage. It’s haunting!

The direction by Nadia Beukes, Tiaan Kirsten-Lubbe, and Lian Sachse sees Lizelle Pike sometimes delicate and sometimes raw – no matter what, Ingrid’s spirit and voice is always heard.

She was complex, passionate and deeply human. We feel all of her emotions, desires, doubt, and longing and witness her battles with the dark shadows of depression, the same shadows that took her mother.

Presented by Scenario Productions and Die Centurion Teater

Review by SamSays

XXX

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XXX

On the 12th page and I still haven’t found something to jerk off too. My tolerance is high, things are not the same anymore, being exposed to big breasts doesn’t do it anymore. I think Google has a profile of what I consider the perfect pornstar. Big breasted but not too much, pretty, ethnicity or race not a factor, athletic and multifaceted with positions, takes the initiative, silicone a big no, I need something that will jiggle like jelly. Girl-on-girl hot but ridiculous with a strap on, cause after she fuck you in the pussy she wants you to suck that plastic cock. That’s dumb as a rock. There’s a lot you can deduce from a lady with a strap on, always on top and dominant, not willing to relinquish control. It ruins the whole experience for me, girl-on-girl is meant to be about reciprocity. Brazzers doesn’t do it anymore, it’s far to exaggerated. I understand the lust and the uncontainable libido but it’s far too x-rated. Rimming off the table, that’s not debated. Hardcore with anal is something that will never be curated. Threesome is perfect provided my conditions are met, two girls, two pussies and they must be wet. Two guys ruin the fantasy and I’d rather not partake in the act. One dick equipped with a pair of balls is my solemn pact. You can have more girls but the ratio of guys must be low. One dick for three pussies to commence with the show, or one dick for two pussies if you are slow. Strap-on’s are a no! They got no soul and she’ll know. XXX I love a man eater who will suck you off and lick like an ice cream cone. Cookie monsters too, she needs to scream when your tongue is in her zone. Now on page 16, avoiding the amateur stuff because they use models who are younger than 16. Big studio stuff is regulated and professional even when they enlist teens. I prefer models who take pride in their work and not too perverse, they ones who stimulate you and your partner so you are able to converse. Page 21, my cock is flaccid, my enthusiasm is flat like Coca-Cola without acid. How can I trip when pussy isn’t my acid? I’ve run out of pornstars and what I have on my feed is not stars. Maybe I’ll click on the video where they fuck in the car. Pussy licking at this stage is like a wound from a scar. XXX I need to check out new categories, maybe BDSM, I could be a sadist, the moans and groans are louder, the pain is thrilling, it gives you a rush, you feel alive, you get to explore the body like a voyager and when you arrive, you come like a waterfall, liberating your spirit from the prison of your body. XXX, I think I want to be in that story.

Archetypes & Vibrations

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Archetypes & Vibrations

It’s funny, somehow I became like my heroes. And they are not better than me because we are the same person, an archetype. So I am cool, I am what I am, everything I want to be. Thoughts and vibrations are really everything, they constitute reality. While life can be difficult sometimes, I still think “play” is the answer to everlasting happiness. I’ve never been serious, I’ve been playing ever since I was an infant. Just playing, creating, doing what comes natural to me, jazzing, improvising, being myself. Playing gets you to where you need to be because there is no end-goal. You play for the sake of it, to have fun. I am a piece of fate in either case and what I can do is microscopic in the grand scale of the universe. Why be serious? Just play, create, you are going to die in either case and no one is going to remember your name. Fine, I am philosophical and intellectual, reality and my actions label me. I had this girl who wanted to enter my frame, she mirrored my energy, used what I liked against me, she said the right things but the vibration was off. Regardless, because I am a narcissist like everybody else, it almost worked. I took her bait and we set a date, when the day of the date occurred things didn’t crystallize because our vibrations didn’t match. She was scamming me, she was a lie, she falsified herself to get to me. But that’s life, everybody wears a mask. Maybe I too wore a mask when I started out but it’s not like that anymore because I am vibrating with high caliber individuals. I think I am a high caliber individual, reality is condemning me to that fate. So I am playing, creating because I am a God. I need to create and the impact has to be widespread and far-reaching. I need help, I can’t do it alone. I am now playing at a high level. I am vibrating with good people and if I am indeed an archetype then my fate is already written by the stars. I think it is, or my current reality is false and it can’t be false because I have tangible evidence. Yes, entropy happens and we all turn to dust but I have to be the guy representing my generation!

It’s funny, somehow I became like my heroes. And they are not better than me because we are the same person, an archetype. Thoughts and vibrations are really everything, they constitute reality.

Life and times of Micheal K

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Life and times of Micheal K

Just when you think you have seen it all, something you haven’t seen comes along and blows you away.

I was at the Market Theatre to watch “The Life and Times of Micheal K”, a novel by JM Coetzee adopted by Lara Foot. The story is told through puppetry and physical theatre. The story is of a man named Michael K, who along with his very sick mother make an arduous journey from Cape Town to her mother’s rural birthplace in Prince Albert amid a fictitious civil war during the apartheid era. To get there Michael K builds a shoddy rickshaw to carry her mother. Along the way they head into some trouble, they don’t have the right paperwork and permits and the little money they have gets confiscated by soldiers. His mother ends-up in the hospital and passes on. She is cremated. Alone, dejected, hungry and with nothing Micheal K carries on the journey to Prince Albert to scatter her dead mother’s ashes. Along the way, he is exploited for cheap labor and he goes through an intense starvation period. Soldiers also misidentify him as a rebel and keep him hostage but he survives and escapes finding his way back to his mother’s apartment in Cape Town. It is revealed that Micheal K has a deformity, a cleft lip and because of this deformity people tend to treat him like he is lesser, slow.

The story-telling with the puppets is amazing. The puppets mimiced the real life movements of humans. The puppet masters understand the human anatomy, how the leg moves and the bend of the knee when the foot touches the base. The movements of the puppets were realistic. Somehow the puppets even had facial expressions, a testament to their realism. Supplemented in was the voice-actors, they breathed in life to the puppets, the puppets were panting, moaning, laughing and just communicating like any other ordinary human being. The puppets moved the story. The manipulators worked in tandem to achieve the desired effect, double teaming in groups of threes or four per puppet to move the limbs, while others lend their voices and manipulated the torso and head. I loved how the goat puppet was manipulated, it moved like a real goat. My favorite scene was the swimming scene, it was so intense. The team chemistry is beautiful. They are deliberate, concise and work with care. Every movement has a purpose, every detail added to the story. With Kyle Shepherd on the score, the show is poignant and emotional. Story-telling techniques like deliberate silence were used to make the audience reflect and take in the significance of what just transpired. After a while, you even forgot about the manipulators, the puppets came alive and told the story.

That was an amazing show, story-telling perfection is my humble opinion. I loved everything about the show, the sets, the props, the lighting, puppets and the music. The 2 hours watching fly, because you are having so much fun. It’s a story-telling masterclass, it’s different, innovative and inspiring. Shout-out to the Handspring Puppet Company, those puppets are just awesome!

Basil JR Jones and Adrian P Kohler are the Puppet Directors

Puppet Masters are:
Sandra Prinsloo
Andrew Buckland
Faniswa Yisa
Craig Leo
Carlo Daniels
Roshina Ratnam
Billy Langa
Marty Kintu
Nolufefe Ntshuntshe
Markus Schabbing

Congratulations Lara Foot and the whole team for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

Dear Evan Hansen

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Dear Evan Hansen

I was at the Teatro to watch “Dear Evan Hansen”, been looking forward to seeing it for weeks and it didn’t disappoint. The production is simply excellent, live theatre at its absolute best. A musical with a live band, they are not in sight but they are felt throughout the show. The show is seamless and flows effortlessly, the moving stage creates this seamless transition between scenes. The mood is blue and it permeates the auditorium, with blue LED lights flickering, set against a backdrop of screens that are most of the time blue. The screens are also a story-telling device that helped communicate the passage of time. They helped create sets for certain scenes by providing the backdrops and gave us visual cues when the content in the show went viral on the internet, reading all the comments and seeing all the likes on the screen made the experience even better. The set is glorious. I loved the fact that we could hear the conversations Evan had over the internet with his devices. The show is inclusive, we could hear everything, even what was happening in his head, his thoughts, ridden with anxiety. The live band are a nice touch, they are exquisite, the singing wonderful and the acting world class. From voice intonations, body language, hand gestures, micro-expressions and movements. Evan for example is overly anxious, his mind is always racing, he is nervy, uncomfortable, awkward, not sure of himself and just everywhere. This is reflected in his demeanor, tone of voice, expressions and gestures. His hands are always moving, head looking downwards, characteristic mumbling and fumbling, his favorite words to say “I am sorry”. He is riddled by insecurity, he is a mess.

The story explores depression, social anxiety and suicide. The tone is blue, sophisticated color considering the subject matter and link to depression. Evan Hansen, a high school pupil who suffers from depression and anxiety, who also has a broken arm has a hard time making friends. His mother suggests he should let other students sign his cast, that way he will make friends. A student named Connor whom he is not close to signs his cast and ultimately commits suicide. Evan lies about the nature of their relationship, claiming that he and Connor were best friends. The lies pile up and Connors family get involved. Now that Connor is not here anymore, grief makes them regard Evan as their own. They even offer to give Connor’s college fund to Evan, something that enrages Evans hardworking single mother parent. Evan even manages to date Connor’s beautiful sister – surprising, considering his level of social anxiety. He wins her heart by lying, fabricating narratives in the guise of them coming from his brother. The socially awkward Evan benefits immensely from Connor’s suicide, his peers even start looking at him favorably but he can’t live with himself so he tells the truth. It is a moving story about family, belonging, relationships and mental health. Social media is the focal point as we see a number of posts go viral. Viral posts that perpetuate a lie, but through the “Connor Project website”, they also manage to immortalize Connors memory.

Stuart Brown is magnificent as Evan Hansen, he got the nuances spot-on, the mannerisms of someone who is socially awkward, the fidgeting, lack of eye contact, hand movements and voice intonations. His performance carried a lot of range, he made you laugh, he cried, he was vulnerable and he was awkward among other states. He is a phenomenal actor. Sharon Spiegel-Wagner plays Cynthia Murphy. Sharon is my all time favorite performer in the world!

Charlie Bouguenon is Larry Murphy
Keely Crocker is Zoe Murphy
Ntshikeng Matooane is Alana Beck
Justin Swartz is (family friend) Jared Kleinman
Micheal Stray is Connor Murphy
Lucy Tops is Heidi Hansen

The show is truly wonderful and the venue perfect. Everyone performs at a high level. It’s beautiful to watch theatre that connects with the youth, theatre for the times, for the human spirit, theatre that tackles feelings of unworthiness, loneliness and well-being. Theatre that resonates with anybody despite your social standing and influence in the world. The world is plagued by anxiety, pills and other drugs only numb the pain but it doesn’t go away, tomorrow it’s still there and the weight is heavier. We sit with the pain because the world claims depression is not a real condition, meanwhile it eats at us until we can’t carry on anymore. We need more stories like these to normalize depression and mental health, stories to make the common man feel like he is understood. Stories that will make us understand our world much better.

Congratulations How Now Brown Cow Productions for a great show and a deserved standing ovation.

As always SamSays on the credits.

GANGSTER

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GANGSTER

We all try. I think that human beings are inherently good but our circumstances and environment dictate our destiny. How can I be like the picture perfect people on my screens when I am primed to be incarcerated. Surrounded by drugs, violence, guns, death and sex. I am hungry, I want to get to the top and there’s no telling what I might do to get there, pushing you under the bus is a small price to pay for the rest of my life. If you stand in between me and my meal ticket, I won’t hesitate smashing you with a bat behind your head leading to your eye popping out the socket onto the floor. I like gangster shit, that’s how you get things done. If they won’t give me what I want then I’ll take it by force with the help of Mr. 9 mm and if you want war, his cousin AK-47 is keeping watch and ready to unload a hail of bullets on your unconscious, lifeless body. There’s an attraction to being a gangster, who wouldn’t want the autonomy of doing what they wanted, to be feared, respected and idolized. Cause gangsters can do anything they want, they can fuck any girl they want, they have all the money, the get preferential treatment, they drive the latest cars, they kill at will and government officials are in their pockets. Gangsters just don’t give a fuck, honorable mention ‘Crazy’ Joe Gallo, he did anything he wanted like kidnapping his bosses without the threat of any repercussion, he just didn’t give a shit, he lived on the darkside, it engulfed his actions, he loved the chaos, he loved being a gangster! Stealing from you is my pleasure and if you make trouble for me I’ll beat you up so bad you’ll start feeding from a straw, that’s if I don’t kill you and your whole offspring. Also, you need to start paying me for protection or your business is going under. I am not interested in the soldiers on the ground, they are disposable and will rat on you to get immunity, I am more interested in high ranking officials of Cosa Nostra like Michael Corloene or being the Capo like Anthony Soprano. They have a code of ethics and values they live by and they won’t hesitate to splatter your brains like tomato juice if you cross the line. Fredo was a stupid and careless Underboss who compromised the future of the family and had to die, he broke a simple code, a simple law known Universally, “the boss is the boss, never outshine the master”.

Everyone rats, police can flip anyone with the promise of immunity and witness protection programs, we saw this on Goodfellas with Henry Hill ratting on all his friends. The look on Jimmy Conway’s face when Henry pointed at him from the stand was one of betrayal but he knows the game, survival triumphs everything. Would you rather serve a 100 years in prison instead? The Godfather and The Sopranos were no different, it seems that the only people who can’t rat on you are the dead ones. The decision to fly in Frank Pentangeli’s brother for the deposition was a masterstroke from Michael Corloene and once again, he saved the family. Pentangeli nearly fucked things for the Corleone family as multiple counts of perjury faced Michael. And despite being Tony’s best friend for a lifetime, Pussy took a deal and conspired to bring Tony Soprano down. He wore wires, leaked information to the authorities and compromised the whole organization. Luckily Tony got to the bottom of it and along with the crew ended Pussy’s life with a hail of bullets. Your best friend of many decades, your family, they will rat on you if it serves their best interests! Being a gangster is all about self-preservation. To be in the game is to understand the stakes, death is on the corner and can happen anytime. You won’t see it too, if you are in a crew nobody’s going to tell you that you are going to get whacked, it just happens. In a world of deceit and ruthlessness paranoia triumphs and it’s easier to take everyone out like on Casino, cause a dead witness can’t say anything. Strictly business, nothing personal. I could be a gangster cause morality doesn’t matter in a Universe where everything ultimately perishes. At least now I benefit, I get the the drugs, fuck bitches, wear quality clothes, drive expensive cars and live in Mansions as big as Tony Montanas. I could paint houses for Russell Buffalino and Jimmy Hoffa following instructions to the smallest detail. I could be a gangster, I am not a 9 to 5 guy, the money is too slow and the hours too long. I’d rather pull the trigger to end your life in a second and make a fortune. I could be a gangster because life is already a game of self-preservation and power struggles, why not play on a professional level? I could be a gangster cause I was born in the hood, I know what happens in the hood, I understand people and what motivates them and I can dominate the hood. I could be a gangster, maybe not a Mob boss or the head of my own Capo but I’ll be the best damn soldier on the ground. I could be a gangster cause Machiavelli taught me its better to be feared than loved and I think he is right. I could be a gangster, I am reasonable, ambitious and a strategist like Vito Corleone, I have it in me to build an empire from the ground up. Killing in cold blood? That’s a small prize to pay for greatness, a war needs casualties and I’d be prepared to make that sacrifice. After all, everybody dies and the deaths would be justified, I am an honorable and fair man. Threats, intimidation and extortion I could be a gangster, my objective is power and the fear from your eyes gives me a rush. I could be a gangster cause they don’t want to give me what’s due to me so I’ll take it! I could be a gangster, cause we all try.

“Wait! Don’t shoot Gangster! I am you and you are me”.

24 HOUR WHORE

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24 HOUR WHORE

I love money. It makes me happy, everything costs something and with money I can buy what I want. I can go shopping, I can spoil my loved ones, I can help out at home and I can buy food to survive. I am a fast money kinda girl and I prefer getting money on my own. I am young and I know how to make it, all I gotta do is watch out for the police. Why do I gotta hand my money to a pimp? Give a nigga a cut for all my hard work to support him and does he support me? Not a 100% cause he got more bitches. The emotions of other bitches, it’s stressful, there’s a lot of emotions and problems, it ain’t worth it, just headaches. You also can’t leave when you want to because the nigga own you and when you try to leave he’ll beat you to a pulp and take your your stuff leaving you in the numbing cold and where you gonna go? You don’t know anybody and you don’t have a place to go. Being with a Pimp, nah, it ain’t worth it. Although you still gotta know how to work a corner, it’s competitive and bitches are sometimes territorial, especially if you are pretty and young, you become a target but most of the time there’s a camaraderie and we stick together. I am happy doing this alone, I don’t need friends, I don’t trust anybody, I prefer to be myself and stick to getting this money. Any girl can do it, you don’t need special traits or a pleasing personality although the latter helps cause they all gullible. One time, a young white girl came up to me saying she hadn’t done this before, I told her to stick with me for the day and in two days she was working the streets on her own. Once is sufficient to have you coming back for more, I see it every time. Cause when you need money and someone give you a $100 note or $120 it feels like a jackpot, like free money because sometimes you ain’t gotta fuck. Some guys just want somebody to talk to so you just offer your ears and be a compassionate soul, some have foot fetishes and just want to suck your toes, like I said jackpot, free money. Still, I can suck your dick for $30.

I am 19 years old now but when I was younger, I would get an excess of $2000 per day. I started off when I was 15 but I was on and off. Being with other girls led me to this profession. I remember a time when I took showers to rush back to the streets. Yes I was a minor but they believed what I told them and best believe I told them I was 18, but it doesn’t matter, they don’t care in any case, they fucked me even though they suspected I was a minor. The guilt made them pay more, $400 or sometimes even more. Young pussy is tighter. Nowadays money gets slower by the day. If I work from 5am I can get $1200 – $1500 on a normal day, $1000 on a slow day. My clients are mostly regulars and they pay $200. I charge them $150 – $200 depending on the client to use my room. I also work the internet. You can get good tips but only if you are not arrogant, be sweet with them, don’t rush him to nut, it’s a process and everyone runs on different schedules. When you are sweet to them, they like you and might ask you for your numbers. I don’t do anything I am uncomfortable with like kissing, like why, you don’t know me, what if I have STD’s, what if you have STD’s? It’s risky, I don’t compromise my life in that manner. I am the sweetest person ever and I don’t do bad things to anyone, I just live my life. I smoke weed but that’s just about it. I come from a nice home, good mother, I have brothers and sisters, everything changed when my father went to jail. I’ve been to jail too for prostitution obviously and that’s where I gave birth to my child. My mother is raising her. They don’t like that I am operating the street but what can they do? I am grown, they couldn’t stop me even when I was a minor. I know what I do is risky and dangerous and that’s why I don’t recommend this to anyone, anything can happen and chaos ensues. These days more and more minors are doing this, I was a minor when I started this, a 24 hour whore doing it every day and at any hour and although I am not a minor anymore, I am still a 24 hour whore. I’ve have never been raped, held at gunpoint or anything like that. The worst thing that has ever happened was getting out of a moving car, it was an attempted kidnap. My skin was grated and I had to go to hospital for a few days but I am still alive. It’s a fucked up attitude that will attract life threatening situations like rape and being held at gunpoint. Also you gotta know how to detect bullshit, your life depends on it. I love myself, what I do doesn’t affect my self-esteem in the least, I love everything about myself, I know I am pretty, I can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror, I love my body, my ass and everything about myself. I don’t need anyone else to love me. Cause what is love? How can you believe that  someone loves you? Show me you love me. Put me in a better position, buy me a big house, buy me a Rolce Rolls, do something. I don’t want love, I want money and yes, happiness too, because I do want to be happy, life is nothing without happiness. That’s why I don’t like friends, I don’t like associating with other girls because there’s too much drama, all they talk about is pimps, fucking pimps, smoking weed and other drugs but no money! When you are in this industry, you don’t need friends, money is the only thing that matters. I regret not finishing high school but I have it in me to get a degree. This is not going to be my lifestyle forever, when I am in my 20’s, 21 to be precise, I will be where I want to be and I’ll quit.

Memento Mori II

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Memento Mori II

Remember that you are going to die. It’s inescapable, everyday you are nearing the end. The good time, the bitches, the alcohol it’s all temporary. What isn’t temporary is your legacy, what have you done for the next generation? Your kids, did you do all that you can to ensure they have a better life? Are you proud of the life you have led? Is life better because you existed? Forget about friends, they don’t have your best interests at heart. They will leave you, it’s all a matter of time. To tell you the truth, they don’t care all that much about you, they are living their own lives and running their own race. What have you done for yourself? You came into this world alone and you are going to exit alone, consider that. No one really cares about you. You have to do that for yourself, maintain your composure, take one step at a time and head for your dreams, accomplish your goals, believe in the magic that’s you and never give up. What people say or think about you doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is your opinion about yourself. Have good thoughts about yourself, don’t say things that make you weak, empower yourself, have pride, be confident. Wake up, wake up, wake up! Fight for freedom, for truth and keep going because winners don’t quit on themselves. You can accomplish it, your wildest dreams, stay concentrated, keep moving and have patience. Make the right choices, adopt the right habits, habits are destiny. Remember that you are going to die, life is impermanence, elevate your perspective to have a broader view of life, refrain from acting in the moment, consider the cosmic events of things – everything is cause and effect, show love and it will come back to you. Do things today that will serve you tomorrow. Embrace positivity and you will lead a positive life. Stick with things that enable you to grow, be with the people who want the best for you and let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore. Every step, moment, counts, stand for something, be brave, walk alone, risk ridicule, never be afraid of being who you truly are. Everything dissipates, the stars lose their shine, day becomes night and the youth lose their enthusiasm. In the end we all perish, we become dust and our memory is forgotten. You are going to die, it’s a certainty, heaven can’t save you and God approves of it. Enjoy today, be in the moment, be like a child, see the wonder in everything, do everything that you can, today might be your last day on earth. Remember you are going to die, stop postponing what you can do now, today. Have urgency, move with purpose, time is not on your side, everyday you are close to death. Relegate fear to the side, it’s not life-affirming, it won’t save you, it’s useless. Instead be fearless, live like today might be your last day because it might. Do everything that you have ever wanted because life is brief. There is no tomorrow only the the eternal now. Memento Mori my friend, stop wasting time, everything that you need is already within, the outside world can’t offer you anything. Stand grounded, keep your head down, keep moving, be humble, be grateful for the magnificence of life, love and you will attract beautiful things in your map of experience. Memento Mori my friend, remember that you are going to die, do all that you can with the time that you have.