I always want to make things easier for everyone. It’s something I love doing, it’s a passion. I want things to be efficient and progressive. I love creating systems with radically open minded people, they are creative and fun. They have different solutions and if you can combine that energy into a single point what you will get is magic. It is genius. It is lifeforms at their absolute best. It is philosophical. It is life affirming. It is spiritual. It is amazing. Lately I’ve been having obsessions about wanting to serve large numbers at a time. It keeps me awake. “How are you going to do it?” . I have plans but how do I get the ball rolling. Where can I procure capital that will enable me to implement what I see? Sometimes, I don’t get the answers. But I try to be present and give everything to the present moment. That’s where my energy is. I try to be tranquil. I meditate too. I keep my self to the source and that gives me great moments of gratitude. “What can you do?” the question still remains, I don’t know. I think I am doing all that I can. But the rewards are too slow. I also think I am a bit impatient. In the end we all get what we want, it may not be direct but it’s a consequence of your small steps that create a pattern and a habit, they all accumulate. I am doing all that I can but the question still remains, “What can you do?” I am trying to figure it out, I am thinking of how I can serve large quantities of people. I am optimistic. I am positive. I have the gist of it, the answer is own everything.
Did you tackle that trouble that came your way With a resolute heart and cheerful? Or hide your face from the light of day With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble’s a ton, or a trouble’s an ounce Or a trouble is what you make it, And it isn’t the fact that you’re hurt that counts, But only how did you take it?
You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what’s that! Come up with a smiling face. It’s nothing against you to fall down flat, But to lie there – that’s disgrace.
The harder you’re thrown, why the higher you bounce Be proud of your blackened eye! It isn’t the fact that you’re liked that counts; It’s how did you fight – and why?
And though you be done to the death, what then? If you battled the best you could, If you played your part in the world of men, Why, the critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce, And whether he’s slow or spry, It isn’t the fact that you’re dead that counts, But only how did you die?
I am doing good, there’s progress. I started off from being hungry and having nothing, to surviving off the berries I got from trees. Thank God, they helped for like 3 days. At least I ate something. It wasn’t the best but it was better than worse, it was good. I’m grateful, I thank the Universe and the unconscious factors that were at play. It was a great idea. Then I went to eating bread with “Crack a snacks” and chips every two weeks. Now, I located a feeding scheme. I swear it’s heavenly sent. It’s like everything was set up for me. I manifested it with my mind. I am so excited. The food I get from the feeding scheme will help stretch out my month. I will go there 2-3 times in a week. My plan is to hustle a couple of hundreds so I can purchase a two plate stove, 10Kg rice, 10 Kg maize meal, 30 large eggs, and salt. Water is free, thank God for that. That’s all I need, that will push me for quite some time and I won’t need to worry about food. I’ll get to focus on creating more content and pushing the antakalipa brand. If I continue breathing in life to the “antakalipa” brand, it will save me, rescue me, make me rich. That’s the plan, nothing else matters. I can only go up from here. The results will start becoming exponential and when that happens, I am home free forever. Because I just need only one chance, just one, one chance on my terms. It’s coming. I feel strengthened, like there’s nothing I can’t do.
I learned something that will serve me for life, that I can cheat life and manipulate reality. I make what I see and so I am excited. I am in charge of my destiny, no excuses. I am well on my path to becoming a Billionaire. The progress is incremental, this is good.
After high school, I started a clothing company with a girl I used to attend primary school with. Her name – Lethabo. I only knew Lethabo for one year of my school career, but I liked her. We had a natural connection despite the fact that I was the new kid. She was real and authentic. She was smart, lively, creative, passionate and had no problems putting me in my place. I avoided verbal misunderstandings that would lead to conflicts with her, she was quick witted and often left me mute. Still, we were cool most of the time.
I hadn’t talked with Lethabo since Primary school and now we were done with High School. I reached out and she was enthused. I got her numbers and we talked on Whatsapp about our impending futures. Her energy had piercing spikes. She was creative as ever and our conversation had a lot of substance. She had an entrepreneurial drive that was contagious. She was ambitious, she wanted to do and be someone great. She had a lot of plans. She was animated. She excited me! She told me she was thinking of starting a fashion stable. She was inspired by Malaysian, Saudi Arabian, Indian and African designs. I thought that was the coolest thing ever! In my mindseye I saw something artistic at the same time unfathomable. Like abstract art she caught my imagination, I was intrigued, the prospect of her vision inspired me. I was thinking of creating a company of creatives myself so I suggested we collaborate and build something special. Let’s create your fashion stable and when it takes off we can diversify in other artistic markets and domains. She liked my idea and agreed. To make it formal and professional, I advocated we create a legal entity like a company to protect ourselves from liabilities. She agreed and so we started brainstorming names for our company. I liked the fact that the inspirations came from all around the world and it made us limitless and boundless. I imagined our clothes being popular culture. She had the vision of our clothes being worn by celebrities. She was thinking niche and exclusive but also a “ready to wear” range. I loved the word “Culture” because it has a connotations of expression, artistic and creative. Our clothes would be handmade crafts that transcend time and created trends. I suggested we use “Cultured” as a name. She absolutely loved it!
I registered the company and started work on our logo and website. I send her a couple of drafts and she chose the logo that’s still our official logo. I worked on our website and it’s still active, take a look “culturedrituals.blogspot.com”. Lethabo enlisted help from her designer friend Athenkosi and we started creating. We bought fabric and started work, the enthusiasm was unbelievable! We created our first range and had a photoshoot. It was great, people loved our work. The momentum slowed down when our sewing machine broke down. Bad timing, it was too soon. We couldn’t fix it, it was too expensive. Lethabo also started Law School and Athenkosi committed to his tertiary studies full-time. I took up a call center job so I can put myself to Varsity and still push the dream. I had a grand vision and I knew from the start that capital would be an issue and I never wanted to be limited so I searched online for options. What caught my attention was trading Binary options, the worst option ever, it’s equivalent to burning your money, just pure speculation, but I needed quick results. I lost a lot of money because of desperation and foolishness. I still can’t believe I fell for Binary Options and Trading robots, it’s so embarrassing. Binary options led me to Forex, which is better because your money doesn’t disappear all at once like poker and there’s the illusion of control because you have technical analysis and candle sticks but it’s still speculation and I lost even more money there. But it helped me, I am grateful for the experience, I am wiser. It’s okay, I fought for my dreams with everything I had and I have no regrets, there’s nothing I could have done better, I am proud.
I am grateful for Lethabo and Athenkosi, thank you God for that wonderful gift. Also thank you for coming to my 21st birthday celebration Lethabo, I really appreciate it. Maybe one day we will have the opportunity to rekindle what we started. What we did was amazing especially considering we were scattered all around. I was in Alex, Lethabo was in Tembisa and Athenkosi in Kempton Park but we all showed enthusiasm to meet up at the mall 2 times a month to discuss business. We were so professional and committed. No excuses, no postponements, everyone was always present. We had memos and agendas, it was greats. We showed desire, we showed initiative, we gave everything to the process.
I will never forget February 2021, it was brutal, hellish and cold. It was Murphy’s law, everything just seemed to go wrong. It was a testing time. I was out in the numbing cold, freezing to death and nobody seemed to care; another statistic of life, somebody with immense talent who succumbed like the others. No food, hungry and broke, my reality was not what I had imagined. Businesses and Investments pedestrian, at least I didn’t have kids or a cat. Chasing my dreams was like chasing my shadow, the faster I moved, the faster it eluded me. I was like Gatsby chasing the green light that’s already behind me. I got robbed too, somebody held a gun to my head and threatened to end my life, all before I had a wife. Killing each other in the townships is rife. To add insult to injury, the girl that I loved had had enough. My progress was too slow and the flickering of the lights made her contemplate of a different future. I never understood how she had such high expectations but no patience. I had no one to run to. I lost a lot of weight. The cheap weed I was smoking made me thinner. At least I had the Gulag Archiepelago, thank you Solzhenitzyn. R5 bread for 3 days with Crack n snacks and water, very economical model. I did some dying but it was good, I had to disconnect to reconnect. I was intrigued. I laughed at my situation. Everything I prized was disappearing or gone. The worst that could happen to me had already transpired and I was still alive and happy with myself. This gave me much confidence and I still had my character and dreams. It was an opportunity to go again, this time the foundation would be stronger. I had learned a lot, I was smarter, I was better, even more fearless and determined. I was enthused and motivated. I stopped engaging with the outside world and made myself a priority. I looked inwards. I put one foot in front of the other. My eyes gleamed with excitement and zeal. All I’ve ever wanted to do was to get to 26 alive and with my opinion. I would build my life with Lego blocks that defy time and space. The aim was to create skyscrapers that elevated to God’s grace. I did it, February is a reference point. It’s too late now, I’ve got someone way better. Someone with vision. Someone who motivates me, who appreciates me. Take your time, differentiate me, I am no average Joe. I told you, you’ll never find anybody better than me.
Winston Churchill once stated :”success is going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm.” That’s one thing I love about computers and A.I. (Artificial Intelligence), it has the same rigorous relentless energy even on its billionth try. This is because it is a program and it is programmed to get to an end result. We can learn a lot about A.I. & computers because our minds are also programs. More specifically our subconscious minds, they dictate our reality and interactions in the world. Your body is a part of your subconscious mind and so when you brush your teeth or drive your car a program kicks in and you do it automatically, you don’t have to consciously think about it anymore. The act of brushing your teeth or driving your car is hardwired. This is a practical example of how your subconscious rules your life, 95% of your actions are because of your subconscious mind. You are the program of your subconscious mind. Everything is mind, your reality is a product of the thoughts you tell yourself. We are aiming creatures and if for example you want a BMW, the world will structure itself to your beliefs and wants and you will begin to see more BMWs in your map of reality. If you want to be a painter all you will see in your map of reality is art schools and other opportunities to do with being a painter. If you want to be great, you will encounter phenomena that makes you great. When you say someone is evil all you will see is that persons evil deeds. Perception is everything. Reality structures itself to your value systems and beliefs. Your subconscious mind bends reality. There is no such thing as an objective criteria because the world is by nature very subjective, however we can compromise and find a middle ground. The world is the same today, will be the same tomorrow and will forever be the same. It is your personality that colors in what you see. Your personality is made up of thoughts, experiences and beliefs. So you see there’s no such thing as failure or impossible. Those are just labels that don’t mean anything. They are hinderances to the mind. Nietzsche once stated any person who has a why can bare any how. This means that when you have a “why” that’s powerful enough and life bearing you can conquer anything. When you have a “why” your limitations crumble down and all you see is your goal. You become invincible! The impossible becomes the inevitable. What do you see when you look in the mirror? What lies are you telling yourself? Why don’t you think you are great? It’s time to reboot your subconscious program.
The right program operating in your subconscious is critical to living the life you deserve. Developing a program of enthusiasm and optimism will enable you to create the life you envision because it is positive energy. When this is programed into your subconscious mind, it will enable a growth mentality and you will be able to pick out a way forward in the grimmest of times. With this outlook nothing is bad or a failure but an opportunity to gather data, internalize it and move forward with the intention of dominating next time. You are the creator of your life. Stay away from negative people and losers because they influence your lens on the world. There is no such thing as failure. There is no such thing as “giving up”. When you “give up”, you never had a “why” and so your plan was doomed from the start. Life is a process and pleasure is in the attainment of the goal not the prize. It is not about about being a Billionaire but the person you become to get there, the habits you must continuously adopt. The prize is the end and doesn’t mean anything on its own. Meaning, process and progress is what makes the goal worthwhile. Kinda like courting and pursuing a girl you like who’s giving you blueballs and when finally get with her you think “Is this it?”. The journey is the reward. Besides you don’t have the right to “give up” or even to kill yourself, you don’t belong to yourself, you are the property of God and the Universe. God would never tell you to give up. You won’t get any pity from me. Don’t cry, survive. Surround yourself with people who share your vision. Belief in yourself with impunity. Know you will win and you will, nothing escapes the law of causality. Be positive and optimistic on a constant. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude, this helps you when the dark night besiege, it enables you to count your blessings and by doing so you turn the situation into a positive and so you are able to move forward in your decisions confidently. Nothing is eternal and suffering is inescapable of course but you choose your thoughts and attitude about life. You can choose a life of pessimism and nihilism or you can choose one of optimism and creation. You can choose a life of depression and misery or you can choose one of happiness and love. Everything is in your lens of experience. You can be anything you want. You can do anything you want. Don’t let them steal your shine. Don’t seek the approval of fools. Move confidently in the direction of your dreams and slay the dragon you hero! It’s all in your mind, just keep your eyes on the prize.
A friend was holding a ceremony of the uniting of families, the sound of wedding bells is audible for all to hear. It was not a wedding just something before that. The two days were great I had a lot of fun. On the last day on a Sunday, I met someone I used to attend Primary School with. Her name Lehlogonolo but we just called her Barbie. It was a nickname given to her by Tumiso.
When we were in Primary school Barbie was a beast! She was absolutely great at everything! She was so artistic and creative. She had the best handwriting ever. She had imagination. She was a straight “A” student and she was beautiful – still is beautiful. I remember one day in Grade 6, I got a 98% grade on my SS (Social Sciences) examination and I was the highest in the grade. Barbie got 96%, my results were higher, I was elated, it was a Black Swan event. Normally Barbie was number 1, she had plenty of badges on her Blazer and on breaks she worked at the Library. Barbie was perfect. She was also one of the few Grade 5 students at the time to be selected for the school choir, I was also chosen. I never got badges though. It was difficult to get a badge because you had to get A’s in all the subjects! Imagine that, 80% or more in all your subjects? Nah, that’s too much work. I was always a 70% guy with a 80% there and there, just enough to go to Prize Giving (Award Ceremony) and I always went. Barbie had blue badges, silver badges and gold badges – she was really incredible. She wasn’t stuck up too, she had a great energy, great smile, she could communicate well with people, she was well-liked. She was the best.
On this great Sunday evening night, I met Barbie and she was enthused to see me so we had a great conversation. We talked for a while maybe an hour or so. I asked her about her passions and what she’s currently doing and I was so happy with her responses. She’s entrepreneurial! She told me that she loves Architecture & Interior Design. I lost my mind! Totally excited, I told her about Architectural Digest and she knew what I was talking about! She matched my enthusiasm and showed me her work. I was impressed, she was still so gifted and creative. She has great taste. I asked her about her favorite style and she said she liked the minimalistic style. I also love the less is more approach to design. She cited the Kim Kardashian house as her absolute favorite. I thought it was cute that she said Kim Kardashian’s house because that’s clearly Kanye’s house, but okay, it’s both their house and it’s a great house with a lot style and taste. I told her I want Brimstone and Marble for my house and her eyes lighted up. I want plenty of natural light too, the house has to have multiple floors, a firepit, massive bar, spacious kitchen, wonderful garden, custom made pool, studio and a cinema room is vitally important! Ebenazer Dam in Limpopo still my dream location, it’s so serene and peaceful. It’s secluded from the outside world, has wonderful natural views and nothing in this world beats that dam. I would need like a 100 million to build my dream house there. Still I am not limited, I can get multiple houses with different briefs and purposes. Me and Barbie talked and talked and talked. She even told me about her Events company but I didn’t show much enthusiasm for that. Sure you can get creative with an Events company but Architecture & Design is limitless, I like the latter vastly better, especially for her, she could change the world! Talking to her was so great, it’s wonderful to just talk about architecture, marble, chandeliers, minimalism and design with an enthusiast. I just want to learn more, now more than ever I am in love with Architecture and design. My conversation with Barbie was great.
Where’s the money Thabiso? That’s what I keep hearing. Sure you’re talented and you have everything but where’s the end result? Damn! I don’t have an answer. Like sure “we see you and you doing amazing thing things, but where’s the money?”. That’s my only deficit, the money. No one cares that I am building for the future but oh they will. Still it frustrates me because it’s like they have something on me. Sure I can refute everything but I am alone with the damning truth, wheres the money? It’s like I’ve become an afterthought. I feel like I am useless. They see my talent and all I’ve done but it doesn’t mean anything because everyone has talent and everyone has done something worthwhile. Damn! I don’t get the respect that I deserve. I opened all these doors but where’s the money? It’s like it’s all people think about. I am a creator and I create but in the outside world I am nothing because I don’t do it for the money. Money is important of course and hence I’ve dedicated my life to be a Billionaire but what about now? All your peers are moving forward in the world and you’re being a rebel? What’s with the dreadlocks all of a sudden? Damn! Where’s the money! It’s like they have forgetten who I am. When have I ever failed? I am building a life, just a little patience, in the end I will have everything but the fact still remains. Where’s the money Thabiso? Damn, I don’t know, that’s why I always advise them girls to go with the guy with the GTI because in this day and age my mental stability means nothing. I have all of this knowledge but it means nothing. It’s all about instant gratification and who has the coolest shoes. I can’t compete with that, I am old school. I believe in labor, focus and dedication. Still, I am close to destiny that I can taste it, I am there! I am the one but people don’t see it. I don’t want a salary, I aiming for millions! I am on that frequency! Damn, I wish I attracted people on my frequency because then we would build amazing things. Capital, infrastructure and resources is all I need! True, I don’t care about the money, I care about people because I know that people are the ones who create great things. Unfortunately my previous partners have lost the sparkle in their eyes and I understand because life is difficult but damn, God give me someone who won’t give up on me! Give me someone who is better than me! Give me someone whose enthusiastic about failure! Challenge me! Please! Break me down, defeat me, please! I don’t care about being ridiculed, I don’t care about people because they are too cowardly anyways, they don’t have the courage to go for what’s in their heart. I apologize for insulting people because I am drunk in any case but don’t dismiss me because it’s my shadow speaking and it’s in free flow telling the truth that’s in my heart. I wish I were around great people and I was the weakest. I will delete this post in the morning, I am emotional and too drunk. Still, my time is coming…
They ask me “Why you like this”, your methods are uncanny, you are too peculiar, too unconventional, out the box, tell me why you like this, why won’t you conform, you’ll never make it out in the world like that, we won’t let you inside looking that. It’s like you are looking for it, you’re a taboo, everything outlawed, a repressed memory that keeps popping up. I don’t understand why you like this, why can’t you be like other people, stop being so controversial, listen, stay in your lane, dull down the color and be grounded like gravity.
Words are my superpower, I can write about anything and I’ll get an applause. I can write about dicks, pussy, murder, hate, Hitler, Putin, racism, slavery, love, sex, human nature, philosophy, psychology, self-actualization, business, finance, War, football and the Halocaust. Words are my superpower, I am superman with this shit, I overpower Kyrptonite with this shit. Superhuman strength that I carry the world in my pocket with this shit. I have become too good, dope like Marijuana baking words so high they hover over people’s consciousness. I dominate the poetry game, kill the Rap game and lecture story all the same. I am comedic and witty but also serious and intellectual. I am animalistic and beastly winning on my own like it’s not consentual. Words are my superpower, I have achieved mastery with this shit. Sure I could get even better but I am pretty fucken great with this shit. I am a content God, the best of the best like La Finalissima, no one is on my level like the laws of gravity don’t apply to me. Words are my superpower, I am number one, I am the winner. Yea, I said it, I am the shit like bowel movements after dinner. Winning like a fix, on your lips like a kiss, manhandling the wordle game like it were insane. Keep in your lane, I don’t care about your name, you all ridiculous to me, you’re all lame. Words are my superpower, I am Messi with this shit. What do you want an International trophy? I’ll get you Copa America with this shit. Words are my superpower, I took my time for all of this shit, labored for all this shit, sacrificed like Jesus for all of this shit and even if you crossed me I’ll come out tops cause I am a God of this shit. Acknowledge me now, save face, pretend you knew it from the start cause I am about spoil the ending I am the greatest of all time.
antakalipa 